dissorder

2

Spiral Down

Here’s some progress and detail shots of a little project I’m working on. I feel like I’m beginning to fall in love with art again and starting to learn how to draw things that I like instead of things I think I should draw and two thing’s I love are emaciated figures, gnarled hands and shiny objects. This particular project was inspired my a particular person, though I won’t reveal who it is until I’m finished with it. Can anyone guess who it is I wonder?

 Upon seeing a anti-kin blog, I realized a lot of people think all kins are mentally ill and need to seek help (If you are mentally ill and can afford help in a supporting environment though, please seek help if your mental disorder is affecting you dramatically). This is a shout out to the mentally ill kins who feel like they are harming the community. This is a shout out to mentally ill kins who repress their kin feelings because they are convinced its just their mental disorder. Shout out to mentally ill kins who need guidance because they feel like they are a joke. We love you.

If the Batboys had an S/O with anxiety/depression

(I saw these two and had to do them right away because as a person who struggles with these dissorders myself and is on medication for treating them, i was really curious as to how the batboys would handle it -so, for you my loves <3 Enjoy!) 

Requested: Yes (2 mixed requests)

Requests: “ How would the bat boys react to an s/o that has anxiety and depression and has to take medication for it?” / “HC for the batboys with an S/O with anxiety problems/disorder” 


Dick 

-The minute he found out he promised to be there for you every step of the way (Doctor’s appointments, therapy, etc.) 

-he even bought a blue little seven day pill case for you to put your meds in (he keeps the dangerous meds above the fridge where you cant reach whenever you have really bad “lows” or episodes, and will fill your seven day pill case himself during this time *only because he gets worried you’ll do something stupid*) 

-he’ll tell you he loves you every day, and make sure to be a bit more calm around you whenever you feel anxious, or try to be happier around you when you get really down  

-he’ll always be your voice of reason, your reminder to take your medicine, the person who sits you down and will take deep breaths with you when you’re feeling really anxious 

-he’s looked up so much about it and has honestly done so much research to see what he can do to help (picks up some breathing activities, some coloring ideas, a couple of crafts to do when you’re distracted by your thoughts) *srsly pinterest crafts are his fav to help you take your mind off things* 

-it bEAKS THIS BOY’S HEART TO SEE YOU ON YOUR WORST DAYS (He’ll just sit next to you in silence and just hold you for however long you need *he himself will cry depending on your condition*   

-he’ll literally start bawling like a baby when he sees your progress over the years (like he’ll just look back and realize how far you’ve come since your lowest point and will remind you every now and then of how far you’ve come) *He’s such a ray of sunshine i can’t* 

Jason:  

-He knew something was off from the begining, so when you told him he pretended he was surprised but really wasn’t 

-ever since he refuses to leave your side (seriously he’s like a puppy that won’t leave its beloved owner alone) 

-he plays it off like he’s okay with it, like he’s unaffected by your suffering, but ohhh boy you have no idea how much he’s deteriorated over it 

-god forbid he ever finds out you’re alone somewhere, he’ll tell you to stay on the phone until he get’s there  

-He’ll snoop quite a bit, making sure you take your medicine each morning (If you forget while he’s snoopin he’ll call you out on it and remind you) 

-sometimes he’ll even check on you in your sleep just to make sure you’re okay (Sometimes he’ll even fall asleep on your floor watching you)

-he’s so lowkey about it but honestly he loses his mind at the thought of you breaking down or doing something that will take you from him permenantly 

-he’ll pretend he doesn’t care, but when you say something along the lines of “no one cares and that’s okay because i’m worthless” he just loses it, like stands up from the table and punches a hole in he wall loses it. 

-Like he just stands there and starts bawling; admitting that he cares, that he’s always cared and always will care, and that he’s never been more heartbroken to see you like this  

-he starts to grow less overprotective once you start to get better, and when h sees you better for longer periods of time he really does start to have more optimism for life itself  

Tim: 

-This boy will literally look up everything there is to know 

-he’ll go to every doctor’s appointment with you, help you find solace when your really down or anxious 

-he’ll just talk to you for hours on end over coffee and work, just hearing you out and understanding every word 

-he’ll make you feel like you’re not weird for having what you have, that you’re not crazy for feeling the way that you do, and that there’s a logical explanation as to why you are the way you currently are 

-as the most rational robin he’s always there to clean out your irrational “This is forever” thoughts and bring you clarity, always reminding you that “It won’t last forever, that there is a way to stop this.” 

- He gives you a sense of hope and backbone in the sense that he always checks in and gives you breaks if you need them 

-There are times when he gets really sad seeing you at your lowest points (he’ll either cry out these feelings alone so you won’t see or bury them deep down under work and a busy lifestyle)  

-he’ll get the feeling of endearment when he sees that you’re starting to get better, like he’ll just have moments where he’s staring at you lost in thought just amazed that you’ve come such a long way 

Damian: 

-THIS BOY GETS SO DEVASTATED TO SEE YOU AT YOUR WORST (like he just wants to hold you whenever you’re really down or having anxiety) 

-at first he doesn’t really know how to approach it because he’s not familiar with it, so he does a lot of research on it 

-once he did his research he vowed to help you in every way he could (Going with you to doctors appointments, convincing you to go to therapy, asking if you took your medicine when he fist sees you in the morning) 

-he’ll literally turn into your coach tbh, keeping you motivated and eager to stay on task with therapy and healthier habits (yoga, breathing exercises, ect.) 

-he’ll always tell you how much he loves you and how perfect he thinks you are (He wants it engraved in your mind tbh)  

-whenever he sees you in bad shape he’ll take a really long shower and cry that night while you’re sleeping (he feels that if you see him cry he can’t be your source of strength) 

-He has trouble sometimes with understanding how his beloved, who he sees as the most perfect person to ever walk the earth, could be so sad and anxious and dissatisfied with themselves (He’ll just keep researching when he gets confused like this) 

-when you start to get better he notices it instantly, like a light had been switched on, and he’ll cry tears of joy when he starts to see you progressing and coping, he’ll just watch you tackle your demons like the badass he knows you are (Just soooo happy and so proud of you)

About Evan...

I don´t know…but the way he acts is so strange. He is a total douche at one moment, but five minutes later it seems like he regrets it in a sincere way (or at least that’s how it seems) 
Maybe he has some mental problem thanks to the trauma. If he is 10 years older than the twins then he was full aware of what happened to his parents, he remembers everything, he had to live the loss of his parents and little brothers. 
I mean, where has he been all this years? Not with his family or else Alexy and Armin would have stayed with him. He was too old to be adopted like the twins, usually people preffer babies. I got some theories but that’s for another time.
The point is that he must have a really rough life. I can´t tell what kind of problem he has but it seems like it’s a personality dissorder. I can´t compare him to someone like Debrah yet. He is too aggresive in lots of ways but there must be much more. I wish we can see his story, cause i’m sure it’s hearthbreaking

I made a HUGE discoverment that will probably change my life FOREVER... (I may be overreacting, but please bear with me)

First of all, probably most of you won’t really care, and second, no, it’s not something that will change the ENTIRE world, but it does change the way I see the world. Today I found out something that just… blew my mind.  It’s kind of personal, but I thought sharing this would’t be such a bad idea.

So, long story short, ever since I was a kiddo I daydreamt so much I got too distracted and my parents decided to take me to several psychologists, yet, all they said was that I had a tic and that I was “just fine”. My classmates kept laughing at me because of my tic, calling me things like “seal”.  But, even though I still felt I hadn’t got the right answeres, I just forgot about it and simply learned to live with it.

That was until today, when I was scrolling through my dash and I saw a post by @hajime-isayama-official, where someone told them they and their friend had  “maladaptive daydreaming” and me, being the curious person I am, looked for it. The first thing that appears is a wikipedia article. I start reading through it and it feels so similar to what I’ve felt ever since I was young, and keep digging forward on the subject.

After all the reading, I came to the conclusion that I had maladaptive daydreaming. The fact that I wasn’t the only one who had this was relieving.

Right now, I feel a weird combination of emotions. It feels like a person grabbed a bunch of feelings, put them on a blender, made a smoothie out of it and, boom, that’s how I feel!

But, for now, it’s wonderful to know I’m not the only one with maladaptive daydreaming and that there’s other people who know how I feel.

If you made it to this point, I want to thank you for reading al of my rambling. I really appreciate you stuck around to hear all of this.

Watch on healthacceptance.tumblr.com

This is so powerful. A must watch for everyone no matter what size. Please take the time to watch and understand the message.

It’ll not be easy (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

Requested by: Anon

Request: could you do one i don’t really care what character but 100,99,96,66 and 60

A/N: This is, probably, the most personal thing that I wrote here and it would really difficult for e to write, but I wanted to give it a reason-to-be. I’m sorry for take too long to post it and I really hope you like it.

Warnings: Mention of eating dissorder.

____                      

Prompts:              

60. “Please, don’t cry.”

66. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

96. “This isn’t fair!”

99. “Something’s clearly wrong.”

100. “Keep your eyes on me.”

____

Originally posted by chatnoirs-baton

Your name: submit What is this?

It’ll not be easy (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

Just a note before we start: laughs and screams are almost the same.

The laugh echoes in my ears and I fall. And fall. And fall. After infinite seconds my back shock to the ground. My eyes are blind, all I can see is the darkness in front of me. Tomorrow, where the impact beat me hard, will be a kaleidoscope of colors tattooed on my skin, they’re will be purple and blue and yellow and green and… My fingers intertwine with the vegetation and I can feel the wet land. It start to rain . Or was raining before. I’m too tired to care about the cold drops in my naked skin, because now, the cold run into my veins. My own heart its sending the cold in bursts into my body. My body.

Lights dance into the darkness and I try to smile. I would like to smile right now, but I can’t. I try to hold the little consciousness that I have, but I can’t. I try to get up, but I fall into the dark before my brain recognize the command.

____

When my consciousness return I’m not in the ground anymore, I’m in a confortable bed – or at last, more confortable tha my own. I open my eyes, but everything is dark. I look around trying to find out where I am, but I see nothing. So I seat up first and get up soon after that, and then I give two steps. But I did it to fast. I’m dizzy. I lose my balance and fall. Before I hit the ground again, I feel arms around my waist, getting me up and putting me into the bed again.

“Stay still, Y/N.” Bellamy’s voice is clear into my ears. “I’ll call Clarke.”

“Please, don’t.” I interrupt him. Clarke is playing the doctor, as her mom in the Ark and all I don’t need now is another doctor playing the cards of my life. “I’m feeling better.”

“Sure you are.” I can’t feel the sarcasm in his voice even if I can’t see his eyes clearly. “Something’s clearly wrong, Y/N.” He say’s while he light a flashlight, turning to face me. “So you’ll tell me or to Clarke?”

“What do you want, Bellamy?” I seat in his bed again, holding my legs. “Here, take this shit wristband, I don’t care anymore.” I say to him, holding my arm to him. But he just hold my arm and let it into my legs again.

“I’m sorry.” He say seating down into the bed and looking at me.

“For what? For being an asshole?”

“For that too. But I meant, I’m sorry for don’t let you eat if you don’t take out this wristband…”

“It isn’t your fault, Bellamy.” I assure to him, looking in front of me, avoiding his gaze. “Is not your fault that I had passed out.”

“So…?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, ok?” I said, finishing the conversation.

___

“How are you going?” Bellamy ask seating next to me, holding a piece of meat for me to eat. I look it for 54 seconds before take it. But I don’t eat, I just look to the meat, holding my breathe.

“Good.” I answer him, but I know that he don’t trust me. I can do this, I say to myself, but my hands are shaking, my heart are beating fast. I look to Bellamy just to find his eyes on me and I give him a little smile.

Madness is not what it seems like. The time stops. I feel like I can’t breathe with Bellamy looking at me in that way, waiting for me eat. I feel my eyes filling with tears and when I put the meat in my mouth I want to run away.

I count 41 bites before I swallow the meat. I feel it coming down my throat and soon my thoughts start screaming in my head. I get up, looking at Bellamy.

“I need to go, but thank you for.. It.” I say before run out off his gaze. Giving the piece of meat to the little girl called Charlote, who smile at me.

I go inside of my tent, laying on my bed, holding my own waist and whispering to me: “It’s going to be ok.” Over and over again, like a lullaby. Soon the tears start to roll down. I’m felling like a shit. I want to die.

____

The next day, Bellamy is waitig for me outside the tent. He hold my hand before say anything and pull me into his own tent, seating me on his bed.

“I need to help with the wall, Bellamy.” I say calmly to him.

“The hell you need, Y/N.” He say angry to me. Putting into my hands a plate full of fruits. “Eat it and then you can go.”

“What?” I ask him. “I’m not hungry Bellamy. Why I need to eat it all? Are at last three rations in that plate… It isn’t fair!

“You don’t ate a thing for the last two days, Y/N…”

“I ate meat last night.” I say to him, putting the plate on my side and crossing my arms into my chest.

“No, you don’t. You gave it to Charlote, I’d saw you.” I stare at im with my mouth half open. “Why?” He ask me. I still not knowing what to answer. “Why you don’t eat?” I thing for some minutes, I can make a list of reasons why I started not eating, but they’re not the reasons why I still doing it. I circle my wrist with my index finger and my thumb.

“Because I’m sad.” I say finally to him, looking to my wrist. “Can I go now?”

“No, Y/N, you can’t.” He kneels in front of me, holding my hands. “Keep your eyes on me.” He says, and I do look at him. “You can talk to me.”

“But I don’t want to.” I say trying to let go of him, before my tears appear again.

“Y/N, please, I just want to help you…”

“No one can help me, Bellamy! Because I don’t want any help! I do not want anyone looking at me with pity, as you’re doing now!” I scream at him, finally letting go of his hands and getting up. “People sucks, you know?” My tears start to roll down and I try to wip them of my face, but they never stop.

“Please don’t cry.” Bellamy whisper to me, holding me against his chest. I hear his heartbeat: always strong and constants. My heart is a mess.

Everytime someone hugs me, I get tense, I hold my breathe. This make everyone feels uncomfortable and they let me go soon as they can, but not Bellamy. He hugs me tight.

“You know, you should hug me back…” He says. “But that’s ok…” He sighs. “I hug you.”

“Why?” I whisper to him.

“Because I want you to know that I’m here for you.”

“No you aren’t.” I say, trying to let go of his arms again. “You’ll get tired of me and will let me behind like everyone else!”

Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.” He holds me thighter. “I’ll not get tired of you.”

“Yes you’ll.”

“No, I’ll not. I’ll not left you. And I’ll not hurt you, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can. You can trust me.”

“I can’t.”

“You can, princess.” He let his lips in my forehead. “Please, let me help you.”

“It’ll not be easy.”

“I know, Y/N, I know. But I want to do this, because I want to see your smile again, like when you were a kid playing on school…”

I just look at him. “He remember when we first meet. He remember.” Maybe he’s different after all.