even tho i can’t, i’d just like to say i’d want to kick his fucking ass bc apparently he’s making those calls from canada. isn’t 2-3 threats enough for them to involve international measures or at least find out if he’s working alone because if he is then all those calls are empty threats meant for his sick enjoyment. he’s enjoying the headlines, he probably started it ahead of Apink’s comeback on purpose for even more attention.
i want to doubt he’s planning anything largely threatening but at this point i don’t want to jinx it.. is he actually in canada or just bouncing his number from there? bc if is and his body is in s.korea, then that’s more serious. bc to plan ahead that far means he’s fucking serious or just really doesn’t want to get caught.
i thought phone numbers are easy to track even if international unless you use a disposable or some hacking thing. maybe a public phone.. frustrating they can’t even find who the fudge made the call until now.
People ask me all the time, Catalina, why are we here, on this earth, living life? And despite my many years, well, I still don’t have an answer. All I know is that my parents met on a message board on Neopets.com when they were 12 and 13 years old, respectively, and now I’m here. Incidentally, they both later died in a Cosmo sex tip-related accident. Which is to say they read a Cosmo sex tip and laughed to death at how inconceivable it was. Incidentally, Cosmo has great lawyers and I’m about to get sued out of my entire fortune for defamation. But that’s neither here nor there.
The following is what I do know about life and how it works. You’re welcome for how helpful this is about to be for you:
Through a series of tests that I recently conducted in my small in-home laboratory, I learned that simply deciding that you want to photosynthesize doesn’t automatically give you the ability to do it. (These controversial test results subsequently caused a huge rift within the scientific community as well as my personal life, but that’s, also, neither here nor there). I’m learning to interact more productively with the world in a number of ways. I’m learning to reap emotional reinforcement from reading the packaging of products. Life hack: Boxes of cereal are often trying to tell your that you are good and that you deserve good things. You can read boxes of cereal to feel assured of this. Boxes of cereal are also often trying to sell you cereal. This is not important, nor is it part of the life hack.
I’m reading the wikipedia pages of artistic movements and dropping references to them more often in conversation with peers and superiors. My LinkedIn profile is simply a click-through link to my OKCupid profile. It’s working really well for me, thanks. Trying to discern whether or not your head is “an uncool size” is not productive, nor is it a life hack. Drinking tea is a life hack, but only if you like tea. Liking the idea of tea doesn’t count. Telling yourself that you could be a great president of this country if you put your mind to it could positively affect your self esteem. What most people don’t know is that the president’s job isn’t even that hard, they’re often just trying to sell you cereal. Life hack: The existence of the entire US government is an advertising ploy from Kellog’s. I know this because i have conducted the research in my small in-home research center.
I’ve become ok with the idea of robots rising up to destroy the way of life as we know it, but only because I’m too lazy to organize an uprising of my own. Life hack: Speed up the settings of your life so you’re experiencing it at 2 seconds per second: you’ll be done in half the time. Life hack: Pour Kool Aid in your wounds, why not? Life hack: Doors can be used to enter one room from a different room. Life hack: Clouds exist. Life hack: Disposing of pollutants in impoverished areas means less chance that a person living there will be financially capable of suing you if said pollutants seriously harm their health and the health of their loves ones.
Minnesota mom improves her quality of life with this ONE WEIRD TIP: Acknowledging the fleeting nature of existence and resolving to be nice to others.
It’s important to decide to do things only after already confirming that you have the ability to do them. However, I still haven’t given up on photosynthesizing.