anonymous asked:


have a thing. sequel sort of to this mini gilmore girls au here. not exactly fluffy but have a thing.

“Excuse me?” Ginny questioned, disbelief flooding her system as she stared at her mother with something akin to horror.

“Burgers and fries for the dinner?” Janet raised an eyebrow, and her hand waved casually around Mike’s.

Please tell me what you’re talking about.”

Janet rolled her eyes. “I’m talking about Mike.”

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anonymous asked:

ballora has missle titties. baby has an ice cream dispenser. performer has a double-barreled ice cream cannon in the middle of her chest


anonymous asked:

How much of NCIS New Orleans have you seen? Because that is genuinely embarrassing. There was an episode where Baks had to go undercover to a biker bar, with a doo rag and a sleeveless shirt, and try to sit there and out macho some guy. Diaper monkey is more dignified than what this show does to our National Dad.

I sat thru one ep where the Baks was kidnapped after playing a sweet piano song on Mardi Gras, as he does, and it’s a race against time for the gang to find him before it’s too late. There is but one witness, a living statue, who comically asks for bribes before dispensing the pertinent Baks info. The Baks and some other guy are kept in a dimly lit room with a camera and the kidnapper, with intense closeups and much shouting.

Anyway it turns out it was something to do with an old case or something and the gang breaks in and shoots the kidnapper and the Baks cries with his bad accent and goes, “He was just tryin’ to be a good dad!!!” Presumably gumbo came after. 

anonymous asked:

What is one of your guilty pleasures when it comes to on the road food?

Guilty pleasure? How about guilty and sort of repulsive? Every so often I can’t resist a hot dog off the rollers in a truck stop. Topped with onions and fake chili out of the dispenser to hide how sweaty the hot dog looks.

Creative Misspellings and Rude Introductions
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Frank is a Starbucks barista who can’t spell names right. Gerard is the one ordering complex and useless coffees while talking on the phone.

Bonding over a Dead Band

Frank hummed quietly as he brought the cup up to the dispenser. He pressed a button and whipped cream began to squirt out. He counted the seconds to the beat of a Beatles song.1. 2. 3. 4.Frank pressed…

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so i’ve never been to a christian church a day in my life and i’ve got a question. y’know that shit they do in movies where the sad, lost protag wanders into a random church n sits in the uncomfortable-looking benches and some church man comes over and says “what’s wrong my child” and it’s like?? a free therapist or a cool life advice dispenser. is that a real thing? can i do that? asking for a friend.

anonymous asked:

What are your fave poems/quotes?

!!!!! i have a Lot but here’s some I could think of right away:

“All gods who receive homage are cruel. All gods dispense suffering without reason. Otherwise they would not be worshipped. Through indiscriminate suffering men know fear and fear is the most divine emotion. It is the stones for altars and the beginning of wisdom. Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.”   
-Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God  

“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

I couldn’t get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.”
-Richard Siken, Crush       

“I am an old boudoir full of withered roses.”
—Charles Baudelaire, The Flowers of Evil

“The sea is a dangerous place because it makes you believe in forever.”
— Beth Revis, The Body Electric

“One day, whether you
are 14, 28, or 65
you will stumble upon
someone who will start
a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,
most awful truth
you will ever come to find––
is they are not always
with whom we spend our lives.”
— Beau Taplin, The Awful Truth

“I have sea foam in my veins, I understand the language of waves.”
-Jean Cocteau, Le testament d’Orphée

“He is not the sun. You are.” -Christina Yang

“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances.” -Maya Angelou

“Maybe the moon is beautiful only because it is far. لربما القمر ليس جميلا إلا لأنه بعيد ” -Mahmoud Darwish

“If you can’t be a poet, be the poem.” -David Carradine

“She was terrifying in her beauty, bright like a devouring star.” -Leigh Bardugo, Little Knife

“Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.” -Kait Rokowsk

“O fuck.” -Shakespeare, Hamlet


If soap dispensers were alive