an aura thing that would be useful if i could actually control it is when my brain decides to just randomly like…dump everything in its short-term memory files IMMEDIATELY without at all attempting to move ANY of it to long-term, so from my perspective, i look at the clock, perfectly lucid, and see that it’s 5:30, and then i take a drink of water, say, and then i look at the clock AGAIN and see that it’s 7:22, and apparently i have been acting normal and functioning fine the whole entire time, i just don’t remember any of it.
it doesn’t feel like zoning out, and believe me i know all about zoning out, that isn’t what i’m talking about– it’s more like someone snipped a bunch of footage clean away from the reel of my life and then expertly taped the film back together. it’s more like a drunken blackout but with none of the disorientation or sloppy fade-in/fade-out, or, uh, being drunk in general.
when you have some boring, rote shit to do, this is AWESOME. it is inconvenient and scary the rest of the time! but occasionally, when you have to, say, polish an assload of silverware or clean something disgusting out of a bathroom or wait in line at the DMV for a tiny eon and you’re just thinking “man, i wish there was some way to get this done without having to have the conscious experience of getting it done, because UGGGHHHHHHHH”, it’s quite welcome (if it decides to kick into gear at that time, i mean)