Okay but a HoO Enchanted AU, with a mix of mythology and fairytale references??
Where the demigods (or maybe minor gods??) Annabeth and Jason seem so perfectly suited for each other, obviously they’re made for a fairytale romance in Olympus.
But Jason’s stepmother Hera hates Annabeth and sends her to Earth, where the monsters who do Hera’s bidding should be able to get rid of her with relative ease.
Annabeth isn’t beaten that easily though. She escapes the first round of monsters but ends up hopelessly lost.
Percy Jackson sees her scaling a billboard (to get a better vantage point) and assumes she’s in trouble. In the process of trying to save her, he causes her to lose concentration and fall - right on top of him. “One of the many reasons I hate heights,” he says.
Percy takes her home, because he’s not going to leave a poor girl in a torn up dress alone on the mean streets of New York.
When it becomes apparent that she can’t be trusted alone in his apartment (she keeps building miniature cities out of everything she can get her hands on), Percy takes her with him to his job as a teacher; where her stories rile the kids up a little bit too much.
He almost tells her she needs to leave, but the absolute awe in her eyes as they walk around New York makes him breathless, and he’s way too much of a softie, anyway.
He gives her the teasing nickname of Princess.
Meanwhile, Jason has gone looking for Annabeth, aided by their friends: one of whom is actually a spy working for Hera, thwarting him every time he gets close to finding Annabeth.
Percy has an absolutely epic bromance with Piper, which Annabeth keeps confusing for romantic love, leading to many hilarious misunderstandings and Piper making snide remarks about Percy being so clueless he wouldn’t recognise true love if it hit him in the face (cue Annabeth accidentally punching him).
No one has ever infuriated Annabeth like Percy does, and sometimes she wants to judo flip him, and sometimes she wants to kiss him…
Jason is a charming hero, though, so of course he eventually finds Annabeth and sweeps in to take her back home where they can get married immediately.
Annabeth feels confused though, for the first time in her life. She asks Jason to take her on a date, because that’s what Percy said couples do, and Jason, ever the perfect gentleman, agrees.
Their date is meant to end at the Gods and Goddesses Ball.
Annabeth goes to Piper for help getting ready. Cue amazing bonding while shopping montage, because it turns out Piper hates shopping way more than Annabeth and is hopeless for most of the trip.
Until they have this big heart to heart about Percy and Piper realises Annabeth loves him as much as he loves her, and Piper determines that she’s gonna get them together.
Annabeth is absolutely stunning at the ball. Percy realises just how much he really loves her, but he still believes she’s going to go home with Jason, so he doesn’t tell her, because he can’t bear the thought of that rejection.
Then there’s a mishap with a golden apple, and Annabeth needs to be awoken by True Loves Kiss™.
Jason is unsuccessful, and Percy fully expects him to be furious - but instead he’s just desperate for Annabeth to be saved, and begs Percy to kiss her.
She wakes up.
Hera is furious and arrives to smite them herself; but Annabeth and Jason are trained warriors, Piper makes up for lack of training with pure guts, and now that he knows how she feels there’s no way Percy is ever letting Annabeth go. Plus he’s rather fond of NYC and doesn’t want to see it blasted off the map.
There’s an epic battle atop the Empire State Building, that begins with all of them fighting the goddess, dwindles to just Percy and Annabeth, and then leaves Annabeth to face Hera alone.
She outwits her, outmatches her, and takes the goddess down.
And then Percy slides down the roof and falls on top of Annabeth.
And it’s pretty much the best kiss in the rain of all time.
Jason looks strangely familiar to Piper. She’s still trying to figure out where she knows him from when they run back to Olympus for their own fairytale wedding.
Annabeth goes to school to study Architecture.
Percy writes a best selling children’s book about a princess from another dimension who defends Earth from monsters.
Small things I like about the beginning of Descendants (yes I’m watching it again shut up):
- Maleficent yelling “The safe, the safe!” about the fucking FRIDGE
- Nobody correcting her
- Maleficent banging on the front of the fridge b/c she doesn’t know how to open it when there’s a big-ass handle less than two feet from her hands
- Maleficent keeps her spellbook in the FREEZER and is surprised when it’s cold
- Evil Queen’s little “humor her, I’ll handle it” sign to Jafar/Cruella when Maleficent goes into plotting mode
- EQ in general not giving a shit about Maleficent and her plans and cracking old lady jokes
- Maleficent being basically completely crazy and out of touch but nobody wants to deal with it because she still scares them
- Cruella petting Carlos like a dog throughout the plotting scene
- Carlos’s luggage is literally a garbage bag. Everybody else has real bags to carry their stuff except for him
- Carlos repeatedly trying to fit in & help the other villains like only laughing at Mal stealing candy a few seconds after everybody else and thinking to stop and call off the alarm when they fail to break in b/c he is a precious cinnamon roll
- Carlos trying to impress Jay by showing him candy and video games and trying to help him but Jay basically dismissing him at first
Me, going into the theater to see Zootopia: Oh man I’ve heard that the main leads in this film are a male and female that don’t get together romantically! Praise this film for its lack of obligatory hetero romance
Me, leaving the theater after seeing Zooptopia: How dare you make me ship them what have you done