drOUTLANDER Fic-Off: Part Two. Discord.

@takemeawaytocamelot​ said:

Angsty catnip!! I lurv me some early marriage angst. Mayhaps a slight canon divergence? I know Jamie and Claire had a disagreement after Fort William, but that couldn’t have been all. What if they have another disagreement/heated discussion about something? He’s still learning to compromise and hasn’t quite mastered it yet.

Here we go again, round 2! I’m really loving these wee gems… (but I can’t seem to fix my master list whatever I do. So some of the links are wrong…and I’m sorry, but they won’t save the URL that I copy and paste, no matter how much I re-find the RIGHT ones and paste them in. Technology, eh!)

You can find my first ‘fic-off’ HERE and @takemeawaytocamelot‘s HERE <3 

“…and then he said she did this wee thing wi’ her mouth!”

Claire heard the men sniggering as she rounded the corner, her arms filled with dry wood for hers and Jamie’s evening fire. Rupert, Angus, Willie and Auld Alec were stood around the smithy’s iron, swigging whisky and chuckling at some unfortunate lassie’s sexual advances.
Rolling her eyes, she steered away from the men without showing herself. 
If she’d simply walked away, she would never have caught the tail end of their blethering. But as it was, she lingered for just a moment too long. 

“Weel, lads, she’s got a sharp tongue, Mistress *Fraser*, but according to young Jamie she kens how to use it between the sheets –and between his thighs.” 

Angus’s bawdy voice rang out over the others causing Claire to stop in her tracks, her jaw dropping at the lewdness of their conversation. The realisation hit her sharply in the chest. She knew Jamie was a little naive in the ways of matrimony, his actions after Fort William had made that *painfully* clear, but she never though him crude enough to discuss their private liaisons with the Mackenzie men.

Her cheeks burned with combined embarrassment and rage as she stomped back towards their quarters, her anger boiling steadily beneath the surface. 

Those private moments were meant to be just that, private.

Obviously her inexperienced husband needed a lesson in discretion.

The evening passed by at an awfully slow pace as Claire stoked the fire in their Leoch room.

As the flames rose, so did her ire.

How *dare* he, she thought irritably, prodding the already torched logs.

By the time the door slid open she had worked herself into quite a lather.

“Sassenach! Ye willna believe it, aye? I…” Jamie paused, noting Claire’s less than impressed expression. “Are ye alright, Claire? Ye looked fair fashed?” He questioned, the words slipping softly from his tongue as if to soothe a mad beast rather than his usually calm wife.

“I don’t know, Jamie. I wouldn’t want to unleash my –sharp tongue– on you, would I?” Claire seethed, almost spitting the words through her gritted teeth.

Jamie gulped, his eyes widening at her tone.

Damn Rupert and his stash of Colum’s rhenish, he cursed, wringing his hands together as he took one cautious step towards Claire.

Mo nighean, please…I didna mean…”

“What, Jamie!? You didn’t mean to divulge intimate details of our wedding night to Dougal’s men?!” She yelled, her eyes alight with fury as she threw the scorching poker against the stone slabs of the fireplace. “Have you ever heard the phrase –loose lips sink ships– Jamie? Because I’ll bloody tell you something for nothing! You had better be wary of the tales you drunkenly tell your *less than considerate* friends.”

“I’m s–”

“…and don’t you dare say that you’re sorry, James Fraser. How do you think it feels to overhear half of Clan Mackenzie gossiping over our sex life?”

Tapping her foot erratically, Claire finally paused to allow Jamie time to speak.

The silence stretched on as Jamie’s mind went completely blank. Angus and Rupert had obviously planned this, he realised belatedly. They weren’t malicious, the pair of them, but they were nosey and he’d played right into their greedy hands.

“I ken ye dinna wish to hear it, Claire, but I am sae sorry. I didna think–”

“No, you’re right. You didn’t *think*.” she cut in again, picking the blanket from their bed and throwing it in his direction. “Maybe you’ll be more considerate after *another* night in the dog house.”

Scrunching his brow together in confusion, he just about caught the plaid in his arms as he stumbled back, caught off guard by its weight.

“Claire, a ghràdh…please…”

With one look she silenced him, her sharp gaze causing him to swiftly shut his mouth.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep quiet,” she growled as she turned her back on him, “otherwise I’ll throw you out completely. I’m sure Mrs Fitz has room for a large Scot on her kitchen floor!”

At this Jamie watched, once again, as Claire slid under the thick duvet that rested on their large bed, dragged the covers up over her shoulders and turned herself away from him.

Curling himself up on the hearth, Jamie settled himself for another uncomfortable night, his mind abuzz with numerous ways to win back his favour with Claire.

This time it might be more difficult, he concluded, truly abashed by his flapping gums. Running his fingers through the ash that lay by his hands on the tepid slab, he traced patterns into the fine dust, recreating the soft lines of Claire’s face as he dropped in and out of slumber.

In the end he dozed off with one singular thought; this marriage business truly was hard work. But for Claire, he would try his level best. If that meant crawling through rose bushes with the sharpest thorns, he would do it, anything to make it up to her.

Come morning, he surmised, he would expend all of his energy trying put it right.

Discord lets you make your own custom emojis so the J&H Discord now features…

No! No! No! No! NO!

Discord teleports to Twilight’s library and asked Twilight if he could help out or spend some time with her. This was Keira’s idea after all.
Twilight: No, Discord! I am too busy with my friendship reports for Princess Celestia, and they’re all due today! I’m wasting precious time just talking to you!

Discord tries to hang out with Pinkie Pie next.
Pinkie: I wish I could Discord, but me and Gummy are going to annual Gummylympics! Gummy is trying to hold the record of the longest stare.

Discord then tries to hang out with Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: In your dreams, Discord! And not even then! How can I trust you? You may be reformed, but I don’t see how that changes anything! I gotta go. Wonderbolts training to do.

Discord even tries to hang out with Rarity.
Rarity: Sorry Discord. As much as I’d love to, I have many orders to fill and Sweetie Belle took my favorite fabrics again! I need them so badly! I have to go now!

Eventually, Discord tries Sweet Apple Acres.
Applejack: Sorry, Discord. Granny Smith has her doubts about you. You were the one who turned me more dishonest than a fox in a chicken coop. Not to mention you were the one who turned Big Mac into a dog and made the farm into your own skating rink by controlling some beavers.

If you’re using Skype you should dump it and get Discord instead!


  • Cleaner, easier to navigate interface
  • Free servers for more permanent group chat things (way easier to hop in and out of chats)
  • You can actually have different nicknames on each server if you want
  • Is actually well built and doesn’t make your computer yearn for death

Stuff coming down the pipeline soon according to devs:

  • Video chat
  • Linux client


  • All your friends aren’t on it
  • But you can change that

Download it. It’s great and it’s only getting better. It’s aimed at gamers but it has nearly all the functionality of Skype and then some.

So, I noticed something recently (v1.2).

Spends thousands of years imprisoned.

Causes a bit of a ruckus once they’re released.

Is given a second chance by a kind-hearted soul.

Gets involved in a toxic, loveless relationship with a manipulative brute.

Later befriends a strange green creature (that sometimes wears a bowtie).

Is the single most OP person on their team.

Would rather not get involved with direct conflict….

…unless someone happens to mess with the one person they care about the most.

The Omega Timeline RP server

It’s only in an early development but when I talked about the idea to some people they instantly encouraged me like “DO IT!!!”. So here comes official OT Discord server! Make sure to read rules and find the secret codeword c:

We’re using an app called Discord where creating an account is necessary so prepare for that.

» HERE «