disc storage

Memory 2

Another day alone meant another day watching fucked up home videos made by yours truly.

With a bit of effort, Mortimer tucked himself up along the couch, burrowing himself into the soft cushions and pillows. The screen of the television flickered dimly as the DVD player loaded the memory into its data banks. Now a few days after the wedding, Mortimer found himself STUCK at home more often than he wanted to with this wound on his head.

The disk he’d loaded into the DVD was old and covered in dust when he had found it. Mortimer figured ut was of a memory long ago. Back then, before he took to the free range, he’d never LABEL any of the memories he’d made.

Especially when he was with his First Rick.

Who knows how he’d react if he found out was on those tapes.

Mortimer’s attention was grabbed once again as the sound of GIGGLING came through the tv. It was young, soft, and…a different change of pace…

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(via benotto | Benotto @ Keirin Berlin | Ben | Flickr)

Ideas For Modern Day Magical Items/Artifacts Part 2

A rare DVD printing of The Outer Limits Season 3 which, if the right special feature is selected, will make a strange 90s-type CGI man appear on your screen .You can talk to this man, and if you ask him a question, he will give you three answers. Two of them are false, one is true down to the nitty-gritty specifics, all three are equally plausible.

A sniper rifle built out of clock parts whose scope can gaze through time, allowing the user to shoot people in the past or future.

A flavor of microwave Hot Pockets that is repulsive to humans, but delectible to fairies, and can be used in the process of bargaining with, bribing, or trapping them.

A rubber stamp imprinted with the name of God that, when used on any inanimate surface, can allow it to function as a Golem for a short amount of time. Sooner or later the material so-imprinted will eventually implode upon itself in a flash of light, perhaps the universe’s reaction to the blasphemy of reproducing God’s works so crassly.

A plastic ballpit ball that, when tossed while saying a special activation word, creates enough ballpit balls to fill the floor to a depth of three feet in whatever enclosed space it is thrown in. The balls created last for an hour, though they can be re-activated immediately via the original ball after they disappear.

A magic megaphone that amplifies the powers of all verbal spells intoned through it.

A weirdly organic fleshlight that gives birth to a grotesque miniature monster every seven-or-so days. If these monsters are not immediately destroyed, they will quickly escape and grow into creatures almost equivalent to the abominations of Echidna and Typhon, some such examples being the the Mystery Tortoise, the Hindenberd, the Chrome-Catamount That Ate Detroit, the Wolf of K Street, and Omega Phillie Phanatic.

A Desert Eagle whose handle can break through any substance, and which can be thrown and return like Thor’s Hammer. Ironically, it is useless as an actual gun, as the barrel and clip are welded shut and cannot be opened

A bumper sticker reading “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” that breaks all cameras in a place when placed on the main edifice of said area.

A soda fountain that produces unlimited amounts of defunct soda brands and defunct soda brands only. The flavors available constantly shift as brands go on and off the market.

A Spencers Gifts plasma ball that gives one the power to shoot lwaves of plasma out of their hands for one hour after touching it. The plasma waves faintly produce a smell like a mix between marajuana smoke and used underwear.

An electric guitar that can wake anything that sleeps, including dormant magical abilities/places/items, nearly-defunct organizations, volcanoes and even sometimes gods.

A Go-Bots Rock Lord figure modeled after the Philosophers Stone, known as Alakzoth. He can come to life if transformed properly (No small feat considering that his transformation rivals the complexity of a Lemarchand’s box), and can do tasks for the user, including creating seals to summon or bind and transmuting matter with a touch.

A miniature tank made entirely out of candy. The candy regenerates when damaged, whether by eating or by gunfire, and it shoots boiling; molten sugar, which can cause third degree burns like a tastier form of napalm. It has no engine, but instead a weird reserve of enchanted strawberry pudding that never runs out.

Bittorrent files containing moments in time which one can take use for one’s self. Beware, as if used too often, it will attract the time police, who for some reason happen to look like parasitic sea-sponges attached to the backs of sea-scorpions with hands covered in magic runes.

A region-free handheld game-system-type-device compatible with every type of game cartrigde/disc/digital-storage-medium in existence which can summon the spiritual embodiment of any game placed inside it, for the user to work with as they see fit. There are many iterations of this device in existence, and rumors tell of a worldwide battle tournament for a mysterious Master Prize…

Why Nintendo Switch games come on tiny little cards

Nintendo is ditching discs and going all in on game cards for the Nintendo Switch.

Nintendo revealed what the Nintendo Switch game cards look like in a Nintendo Treehouse Live stream Friday, showing a Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild card roughly the same size as a Nintendo DS or 3DS game card. Although it seems like a technological downgrade, this is the best option for the Switch.

SEE ALSO: Everything we now know about the Nintendo Switch

Discs are bad for mobile

Discs have been the standard physical medium for console games for more than a decade, but discs just don’t make sense for the Switch. Including a disc drive on the hybrid home/mobile console would completely kill its mobile capabilities.

At their smallest-possible size, disc drives take up a lot of space and would force Nintendo to make the Switch’s standalone mobile screen much bulkier — not a positive trait on a mobile system. 

The Nintendo Switch needs to stay small to be a viable mobile system.

Image: nintendo

The discs themselves are not mobile-friendly either. Have you ever moved a console from standing position to laying position while a game is running? That noise is unforgettable as your game disc goes from pristine to unplayable.

Speaking of ruining discs, discs in general are much more susceptible to damage than cards. If you get a bad enough scratch on a disc, it’s as good as done, whereas data on cards are protected by a plastic case. You only have to worry about wrecking the connecting pins, which aren’t effected by scratches nearly as much as discs.

The back of the Nintendo Switch game cards.

Image: Nintendo/Youtube

Discs are outdated

Even though discs are physically larger than the Nintendo Switch cards, cards can hold a lot more data than they used to while disc storage has remained mostly stagnant. The cards are little solid state drives, a storage technology that has been improving at exponential rates in recent years. 

Samsung revealed a 512GB  solid state drive the size of a postage stamp in June, which could feasibly fit inside a Nintendo Switch game card. Most modern games don’t even require one-tenth of that capacity. In fact, some of the largest games available right now don’t even surpass 80GB. 

Meanwhile, the capacity of a PlayStation 4 Blu Ray disc is capped out at 50GB. That’s not big enough for some current games and definitely won’t hold up as games continue to get bigger and better and require more space.

So after over 20 years of disc-fed consoles, Nintendo is ringing the death knell of discs and looking back to its cartridge roots. Although this time there’s no slot for dust to get caught in so, so no blowing necessary.

BONUS: This app lets you send real kisses to your long-distance lover