disappointing parents

anonymous asked:

Wow, I'm blown away by your response and I am eternally grateful for you. I had some self loathing because if things were different, my life would be so much easier. I wouldn't have to disappoint my parents and you know how south Asians talk. I am mostly scared of everything I will put on my parents. Thank you so much, I feel so reassured now and words can't describe how thankful I am for you. I actually cried, you're such an amazing person. Thank you again!

Aww gosh I’m so sorry hon; I know exactly the feeling you’re describing. I felt the same way when I first figured myself out and thought about telling my parents. Like things would be so much simpler if I was straight, if I was what they would want or expect of me to be. But you know something hon, it took a while for me to realize this, but life isn’t meant to be easy, and it’s surely not centered around being what our parents want us to be. The culture they grew up in was the exact opposite of ours: they had to be what their families wanted, there was absolutely no wiggle room anywhere. It’s all they know. That’s why they brought it with them when they had kids of their own. Doesn’t make it right, but it does offer an explanation. But overcoming life’s obstacles makes us stronger, more grounded people. Putting yourself and your needs first is hard to do, but I promise it leads to good places. And oh yes, our families tell each other everything!! They’re relentless, they over-exaggerate, they talk down, frankly it’s messed up and crazy. I understand that fear – I promise your feelings are totally valid. One thing that has been important for me when thinking about my family in all this was that whatever they said or thought about me because of my sexuality wouldn’t diminish my value as a person. It wouldn’t change who I am and how I see myself, even if that changes for them. Being okay with that potential change is really hard, for sure, and it takes time. I’m not even totally there yet. The first step is definitely loving yourself and supporting yourself no matter what. Knowing that you’re not doing anything wrong and that you’re a fantastic and unique human being, shutting out whatever antagonizing constructs that have been ingrained into our heads for so long, that’s where it starts. There’s a lot of work involved with this, but building that strong foundation really helps set the rest in motion. And again there’s no rush – time is a great tool to have on your side! And about your second message, I feel that too. I don’t have any friends from my background who are queer, which made it hard for me to talk about it and for my other friends to fully understand my whole situation. However, I recently found a wonderful thing and I will share it with you: there’s this web series called “Brown Girls,” which is centered around two women of color (one of which is queer and south Asian) and their lives. The writer, Fatimah Asghar, is also a queer south Asian and I actually got to meet her and talk to her about her experiences intertwining our culture with that of our parents’. It was utterly fascinating. I highly recommend checking out “Brown Girls” – if anything it’ll give you a little outlet into another situation that resembles yours. And it gives you the opportunity to see someone like us as a main character in mainstream media!! Mind-blowing!! And I shall be your queer south Asian friend, my dear, I got you! I’m so happy that what I said helped if even a little, I cried when you said I helped you start towards self-love! That means the world to me! Allow me to reiterate how incredibly brave you are, my dear – this stuff is hard, and I admire your will to begin taking this on! And please feel free to reach out whenever (anon or not, whatever you’re comfortable with) on any platform (I’m happy to converse with you on another platform if need be!) if you need anything on your journey to self-love, or just anything in general. I’m here for you, and I’m rooting for you! ❤❤❤

please remember there is no doctor frankenstein. he is just a boy. he skips class to piece together a body and can’t even remember to eat and sleep and when he gives life to the body he freaks the fuck out and sets the place on fire. he doesn’t answer letters and he cries all the time but he refuses to accept comfort from anyone.

who tf called him doctor frankenstein and why is he known as that he’s like eighteen years old and is a doctor of nothing but disappointment and bad parenting.

My Chemical Romance Asks
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b></b> I brought you my bullets, You brought me your love<p/><b>Romance:</b> Who was your first love?<p/><b>Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us:</b> Is there a side of yourself that no one knows about?<p/><b>Vampires will never hurt you:</b> Vampires or angry men?<p/><b>Drowning Lessons:</b> Plan on getting married?<p/><b>Our Lady of Sorrows:</b> Are you religious?<p/><b>Headfirst for Halos:</b> Are you hopeful? If so, what for?<p/><b>Skylines and Turnstiles:</b> An important event that changed your life or perspective?<p/><b>Early Sunsets Over Monroeville:</b> What's your favorite horror movie?<p/><b>This Is the Best Day Ever:</b> Ever been to the hospital?<p/><b>Cubicles:</b> Where would you be without My Chem?<p/><b>Demolition Lovers:</b> Would you die for your current lover?<p/><b></b> Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge<p/><b>Helena:</b> Have you lost a family member or friend?<p/><b>Give 'Em Hell, Kid:</b> Have you ever considered committing murder?<p/><b>To The End:</b> Corpse Bride. Yay or nay?<p/><b>You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison:</b> Ever committed a crime?<p/><b>I'm Not Okay (I Promise):</b> Ever felt out of place?<p/><b>The Ghost of You:</b> Ever cried while watching a movie?<p/><b>The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You:</b> Ever been cheated on or have cheated?<p/><b>Interlude:</b> Favorite My Chem song?<p/><b>Thank You for the Venom:</b> Ever wrote something stupid on a t-shirt?<p/><b>Hang 'Em High:</b> Ever shot a gun?<p/><b>It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish:</b> Who's your best friend?<p/><b>Cemetery Drive:</b> What's the hardest drive you've experienced?<p/><b></b> The Black Parade<p/><b>The End:</b> Ever thought it'd be the end for you?<p/><b>Dead!:</b> Ever wanted to die?<p/><b>This Is How I Disappear:</b> Ever done something to someone that you can't forgive yourself for?<p/><b>The Sharpest Lives:</b> Are you anxious?<p/><b>Welcome to the Black Parade:</b> What's your favorite memory?<p/><b>I Don't Love You:</b> Have you ever stopped loving them?<p/><b>House of Wolves:</b> What is your favorite era?<p/><b>Cancer:</b> Old or new?<p/><b>Mama:</b> Ever disappointed your parents?<p/><b>Sleep:</b> Any bad dreams?<p/><b>Teenagers:</b> Are you scared of people your own age?<p/><b>Disenchanted:</b> What changed your life for the better?<p/><b>Famous Last Words:</b> What changed your mind about things?<p/><b>Blood:</b> Any hidden secrets no one knows?<p/><b>Danger Days:</b> The True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys<p/><b>Look Alive, Sunshine:</b> What time do you wake up?<p/><b>Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na):</b> What gives you strength?<p/><b>Bulletproof Heart:</b> Do you miss anyone right now?<p/><b>SING:</b> Who is your idol?<p/><b>Planetary (GO!):</b> Biggest accomplishment?<p/><b>The Only Hope for Me Is:</b> Do you consider yourself hopeless?<p/><b>Jet Star and The Kobra Kid/Traffic Report:</b> What's your favorite go-to outfit?<p/><b>Party Poison:</b> Do you speak different languages?<p/><b>Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back:</b> What is your biggest wish?<p/><b>S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W:</b> Biggest regrets?<p/><b>Summertime:</b> Who's got you excited for the summer?<p/><b>DESTROYA:</b> If you could save anyone in the world from danger/poverty/war/etc. Who would it be?<p/><b>The Kids From Yesterday:</b> What do you wish you could tell your past self?<p/><b>Goodnite, Dr. Death:</b> Opinions on standing for the National Anthem?<p/><b>Vampire Money:</b> What is your catchphrase irl?<p/></p><p/><

I was streaming Star Trek Online and someone asked me about Discovery and I fell into this MASSIVE rant.

So because I like to make videos on youtube in my spare time on Star Trek, I get a lot of people message me. And since Discovery, holy shit. They almost act like I was the one who has cast Discovery, like I am the one in charge. And the SHIT I HEAR DAILY.

People messaging me saying they aren’t watching because the ship is ugly, because there is a gay person, because there is a black woman who is the lead, because she is called Michael. Because there is a Chinese female captain. Because there are too many women. Because there are too many this, or that. Because there isn’t enough white guys. 

That Discovery is this liberal propaganda which Star Trek never was before this.

And I let it out on my stream because I have heard this FOR MONTHS. And I will fucking do it here I am tired of it.

If your dumb ridden, parent disappointing ASS has been watching Star Trek for however many years (and trust me, these people HAVE to tell me how long they’ve been watching like telling me makes me think their dick is big or some shit) and you DON’T think it is a progressive, liberal, diversity accepting show, THE SHOW HAS GONE OVER YOUR DENSE HEAD AND YOU’VE MISSED THE POINT.

From Gene, the man you tell me would HATE that Discovery is being turned into PC bullshit

Star Trek was an attempt to say that humanity will reach maturity and wisdom on the day that it begins not just to tolerate, but take a special delight in differences in ideas and differences in life forms. […] If we cannot learn to actually enjoy those small differences, to take a positive delight in those small differences between our own kind, here on this planet, then we do not deserve to go out into space and meet the diversity that is almost certainly out there.

If you honestly want to fucking come to me, and tell me what Star Trek is “really” about, and that the main lead of Discovery being a black woman is a problem because she is black or that a gay character is in it, then I will keep quoting that man and everything Star Trek has been teaching at your racist, homophobic, sexiest lonely asshole and proving how you understand NOTHING about your precious show. 

You don’t OWN Star Trek. You BARELY understand it’s message. 

I hope Discovery is a huge success not only for itself, but to get your piece of shit hands away from it.

Oh no you’re not going to watch Discovery because of it’s diversity?

You should of never of touched Star Trek if that is your attitude. You are long over due to leave the show alone. Here is the door. Take your pathetic mind and go the fuck through and come back when you actually get the message and aren’t a close minded, anti-progressive shit.

what the instruments do the night before a Big Concert™
  • french horn: the only ones who are well rested and prepared for the concert
  • tuba: runs around screaming
  • euphonium / baritone: looks to see what the tubas are doing, and then Not That
  • flute: gets 12 hours of sleep they don't deserve
  • mellophone: gets ice cream and ignore their problems
  • trumpet: perfecting the solo and outfit well into the night
  • trombone: stays up until 3am for no reason
  • piccolo: night terrors about intonation. 1 hour of sleep at best
  • saxophone: awesome jazz
  • clarinet: stress out about disappointing their conductor/parents/selves
  • oboe: frantically making reeds
  • bassoon: frantically thinking about making reeds but being too lazy to actually make them
  • percussion: either high at Denny's or running around with the tubas
  • piano: cursing Chopin
I’m sorry I could never be the daughter you wanted
2

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”

But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it. To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy. The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm. 

A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat. 

Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.

This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.

Creating Dynamic Characters That Feel Real

Despite what people may have led you to believe, the plot or structure is not the most important thing about your story–whether it’s a screenplay, short story, novel. That’s not what makes the story real and important. That’s not why your readers care.

Characters are the most important part of your story. Without them, you have nothing. Your story is nothing.

If you want your readers to find your story complex, compelling, and dynamic, then your characters have to be complex, compelling, and dynamic. You’re thinking, “Oh, that’s easy. I’ve already done that.” Your babies are complicated. They’re beautiful but damaged. Intelligent but socially awkward. They want to be an astronaut; they want to save the world.

Sorry, but you’re full of shit.

Characters aren’t just characters, they’re real people, even if they only exist in ink and paper and your mind rather than in flesh and blood. They need to be as real to your readers as their mother, father, best friend, the person sitting next to them. Otherwise, you have failed. Flesh them out, bring them to life on the page.

Your characters are the heart and soul of your story, and you need to treat them as such. That is your job as a writer. And when you don’t do that, you not only fail your readers and your story, you not only do yourself a great disservice, but you also expose yourself. You reveal something to your readers that you don’t want them to know. As Claudia Hunter Johnson says in her book, Crafting Short Screenplays That Connect (which is an excellent book I recommend you all read), character creation is “an artistic and ethical issue.”

Repeat after me: It is an artistic and ethical issue.

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