As some of you might know already, I have borderline personality disorder. After a long time searching for answers, I was officially diagnosed a year ago and have been in treatment for it ever since.
My life has positively changed since I got my diagnosis, as the struggles I have dealt with since childhood finally made sense. I realized that I wasn’t making it up, that I was not exaggerating, that it was not my fault to be so erratic, and most important: that my disorder can be treated so I wouldn’t have to live in such an emotional pain forever.
From the moment I knew that the reason for my dysfunction had a name, I experienced a deep hunger to know as much as I could about my enemy so I could fight it. I keep trying to be frank about it with my closest friends without the fear of being judged. It’s nothing new for me to say that there is a gigantic cloud of prejudices surrounding mental illnesses that keeps them locked in the environment of what should remain untold. My beloved ones learn along with me about my disorder every day.
There’s still much to learn, but I’ve been collecting weapons and coping mechanisms on the way. The motive of this post is that I wanted to share some of them with you:
Learning about boundaries, my own and other’s, and how to respect them.
Finding new ways of containment.
Communicating my feelings in effective ways.
Asking my friends to let me know if they’re gonna be away.
Losing the shame of telling about my feelings to others.
Turning off the notifications for read messages on my phone.
Finding a bunch of new hobbies: writing, making crafts and art, rapping (yes, I rap), gardening, cooking for myself, blogging, exploring new movie and music genres, going to themed meet ups, blogging like crazy, starting new projects, etc.
Following mental health YouTubers (@katimorton I love you!)
And the latest: I made a new Twitter account specially to rant about my borderline related thoughts. I discovered a wonderful community of fighters with borderline personality disorder who support each other along the war, and I’m so grateful for having found that community. It’s a great strategy to tweet everything shamelessly instead of repressing those thoughts or acting them out. If you have borderline personality disorder, give me a follow! My account is @bananasplittin, I’ll meet you there along with the others. I tweet a lot, you are warned.
If you are mentally ill, remember that:
You are worth getting help.
You are worth recovery. Recovery is possible.
You will get through this because you are stronger than you think.
You are not alone.
You are a survivor.
To normalize the conversation about mental illness, let’s speak publicly about it, even if people get uncomfortable. Let’s end the stigma.
I’ll leave you here a cool video about how borderline personality disorder feels like. Trigger warning for self-harm..
Becoming disabled demands learning how to live effectively as a person with disabilities, not just living as a disabled person trying to become nondisabled. It also demands the awareness and cooperation of others who don’t experience these challenges. Becoming disabled means moving from isolation to community, from ignorance to knowledge about who we are, from exclusion to access, and from shame to pride.
we should call mental health energy units “forks” in order to differentiate them from spoons
everyone who’s both physically disabled and mentally ill has had moments where they had plenty of physical energy but no mental energy, or vice versa.
example sentences: “i’m low on spoons but have plenty of forks so i can’t go out with you tonight but we can video chat”
“i have to skip class. i have the spoons to get up and get to class, but not the forks to pay attention and analyze material”
this isn’t to say mental illness is any less of a disability, but instead to clarify whether we’re talking about mental or physical energy. this is meant to be an addition to the spoon metaphor, not a replacement of it
I haven't been formally diagnosed with any physical illnesses (though I think a POTS diagnosis is in my future), but I do have several severe mental illnesses. One of my symptoms is severe disassociation, to the point that I often run into things or fall down due to my disconnection from reality. I think a cane would help me stay on my feet, but I don't want to insult those with physical disabilities. In your opinion, do you think it would be appropriate for me to use a mobility aid? Thanks!!
Mental illnesses are disabling too, and if a mobility aid could help you to stay safe go ahead without concerns.
I have one of the most top-teir private insurance plans available.
I live in a city with four, count ‘em, FOUR hospitals.
I have been a patient of my pulmonologist for 2 years.
I scheduled my next appointment today. The first available appointment?
In three and a half months.
Please stop with this “you can see a specialist in a week!” Nonsense. No you can’t. Not with elite insurance and not as an existing patient. I’ve had to make specialist appointments as far as 8 months out.
Yesterday I made an appointment with my primary for a somewhat urgent matter. His next available? In 3 weeks.
I hate going to the emergency room because the average wait time is 4-10 hours. I ended up in a coma once because of complications caused by the wait time.
I am in the most medically privileged position a chronically ill person in the US can be, and the wait times to see my doctor are still very very long.
There are people in my country who can’t even afford to go to the doctor and people justify it by saying “but in Canada, they have to ~*wait*~.
We wait here too. We wait JUST AS LONG, and sometimes even LONGER.
But not everyone gets to wait, and they die because of it.
That disgusts me.
Universal health care now, please. And yes, my full time working, disabled, chronically ill self is more than happy to fork over taxes so that nobody goes without healthcare-even the people I don’t like!
Okay, deep breaths. I know this is hard for you if you’ve always considered yourself neurotypical.
You might be thinking of the “Autistic screeching” jokes, that you’ve heard them used, that you’ve used them yourself.
You might be thinking “but I’m smart/social/normal!”
It’s okay. Unpack your defensiveness.
ESPECIALLY if you’re a girl. So many Autistic girls are never diagnosed, and I’m going to try to make sure you’re not one of them.
- If you are often “in fandoms” and you have hyperfixations with them - whether they change or not - that could be a Special Interest (SpIn for short), a term for an Autistic person’s fixation.
- If you consider yourself “smart but lazy” - Autistic people tend to be “smarter” than most neurotypicals, but often lack energy. This is sometimes dismissed as “a gifted person who just isn’t trying”.
- If you have “resting bitch face”, remember that Autistic people usually don’t express emotion in their face or body language, so it could be one of the key signs for Autism.
- If you are “sensitive towards light/sound/temperature” and often find yourself “overreacting” (and feel childish / have people tell you that you’re childish because of it), you could be experiencing sensory overload.
- If you “enjoy fidgeting” or just really like good smells/tastes/textures beyond normalcy, you could be stimming, which is extremely common in both people with ADHD and Autism.
- If you are “emotional because of other people’s feelings” or “unempathetic/unemotional when it comes to other people”, you could be experiencing hyperempathy/hypoempathy, especially if you tend to fluctuate between the two. Remember that being hypoempathetic doesn’t make you a bad person: you can still experience compassion/sympathy like anybody else!
- If you consider yourself “weird”, remember that Autistic minds work differently than Allistic minds, and that this could mean that you’re not just “quirky/odd/unusual”, you’re Autistic.
Don’t panic, the Autistic community is beautiful and a lovely place to be in. And remember that self-diagnosis is 100% okay, good, and valid.
Everybody can reblog this, whether you are Autistic or Allistic/neurotypical ❤️
EDIT: I’m just putting it here so I don’t have to tell you all individually, do more research before self-diagnosing. Look at professional websites (especially Autistic-run websites) and blogs by Autistic people, even the #actuallyautistic tag on Tumblr.
Don’t take my word as the final truth, many neurotypical people fit this criteria.
Feel free to DM me if you have questions 💕
In the movie “Baby Driver”, Baby (the main character) wears headphones pretty much the whole time in an attempt to drown out the ringing of his tinnitus. He developed tinnitus from a car accident that resulted in the death of his parents.
I’ve been noticing some people are confused by this as he can still understand everything going on around him, despite the fact he has headphones in with the music loud. He is actually reading lips, using subtext, and mood.
I am hard of hearing. I get massive headaches from my ears and brain trying to discern and make sense of all the sounds around me. If you know me, you know I wear my headphones basically 24/7. I do the exact same thing Baby does. I am able to understand practically everything, even with my music turned up all the way. If you watch the film, you’ll see that Baby takes out his headphones while talking to people on occasion. I do this out of habit and manners.
So yes, it is possible for people to understand what is happening with headphones in 24/7. Not all people can do it. It is a skill people with hearing loss tend to develop.
I’d also like to mention… Please, please, PLEASE do not take our headphones out. It is super rude and plain mean. Also super happy they included ASL! And another thing, I do not recommend wearing headphones 24/7. It can cause damage to your ears. In my case it doesn’t really matter, but please take care of your ears!