dis movie is gonna kill me doe

anonymous asked:

i havent been COMPLETELY thru your list of reddie fics so if youve already done something similar ignore this but. what about a sickfic where richie is sick? also maybe eddie just like, forgets about germs to take care of him and then ends up getting sick too and blaming richie and richies jus like, dude, were you here

i changed it a little but only the part where he blames richie and richie wonders if he was there !!! hope u like it :-)

again,,, sorry for the length?? but i cant write these short?? also again. IT IS WORTH IT 

  • so obviously eddie is TERRIFIED of germs and every time one of the losers has even a little flu he’s not gonna touch anything they touch and will stand 5 feet away from them and honestly in the end will probably just be that one friend who’s gonna say
  • “my mom said no”
  • just so that he won’t hurt his friends’ feelings even tho he really just doesn’t wanna be anywhere near them bc hey he could get it too and it could turn into something more dangerous like leper obviously
  • but then one tragic time… richie gets a flu
  • and eddie’s very torn bc he doesn’t wanna be with richie cause ???? he isn’t clean
  • but then again they were supposed to hangout
  • eddie is thinking whether he should ditch richie or not
  • “jesus i’ve been sneezin since 8am”
  • yeah eddie is not gonna go there
  • the gERMS ARE FLYING and just the thought makes him shiver
  • he’s thinking that oh well maybe tomorrow he’s gonna be ok again
  • spoiler alert: he’s not
  • so eddie suffers thru the day bc its boring at school without richie
  • they talk on the phone later that day and eddie’s like hey r u feeling any better
  • “i am nod” richie answers with a stuffed nose
  • eddie just sits on his bed with a facial expression that is nothing other than :(
  • then the day after that ,,, eddie goes to school in hopes of that maybe richie had a miracle healing last night and now he’s gonna be there
  • LMAO YOU THOUGHT EDS
  • now eddie is just gettin pissed off bc how dare his boyfriend be sick for this long
  • so again that night they speak on the phone
  • “richie jesus christ when are u gonna HEAL
  • “i am do dorry eddi-spageddi bud i am just so sig”
  • eddie is gonna turn into hulk soon from the conflict bc he REALLY misses richie
  • should i stay or i should go™
  • (nice stranger things reference)
  • ok maybe eddie is gonna give it one more day.
  • so it’s friday and richie has missed school for almost the whole WEEK
  • “wow eddie you’ve been without richie for almost the whole school week how’s that feel must be a new record huh”
  • “shut up stan”
  • don’t be mean stan
  • eddie’s heart is breakin
  • again,,, he goes home from school and calls richie immediately
  • “ARE YOU,,,,STILL…. SICK?????”
  • “yeah i— *LEPER COUGH* i ah-ah-AMh *cough*
  • eddie cringes because ???? oh my gosh he is turning into a zombie
  • “oK THATS IT”
  • eddie has had it
  • he hangs up and stomps out of the house and rides his bike to the grocery store and buys all kinds of stuff like non-caffeine tea ((bc he knows for a fact that it helps better than regular)),, some ice cream and chicken soup in a can even tho eddie thinks it’s disgusting and fights with one of the workers
  • “YOU DONT HAVE NORMAL,,, READY CHICKEN SOUP IN THE FRESH FOOD SECTION????”
  • “yeah not today”
  • my bOYFRIenD haS bEeN SiCK!! FOR A WEEk and i hAVE TO BRING HIM A CAN????”
  • eddie shakes his head in disbelief and curses the store as he walks away
  • then he finally arrives at richie’s house
  • he knocks on the door first just in case his terrible excuse of parents are home but they aren’t
  • so he leans down to grab the key from under the doormat and opens the door
  • he walks in and stiffens his upper lip as he glances around at the sight of empty beer cans and liquor bottles and there’s just the smell of old booze and cigarettes in the air
  • like it’s normal (and eddie hates that it’s normal) but richie’s SICK and he should be breathing fresh air not the literal definition of the breath of a drunken bum who’s been living in the gutter
  • this wasn’t what he was expecting bc he figured that richie’s parents would at least open the fucking window because their son is sick inside the house
  • so quickly eddie makes his way to richie’s room that is at the end of the hallway and he knocks on it softly before opening the door
  • he finds richie sitting in his bed ,,, burrito inside blankets and he’s watching something from his laptop
  • his eyes are red and his face is a lil swollen and nose also v red
  • eddie wants to cry bc he looks so bad
  • “eddi???”
  • “yes,,, eddi to the rescue” he mocks his boyfriend’s stuffy nose voice a little
  • richie is literally starstruck bc ???? EDDIE IS THERE ???? EDDIE , IS THERE , WHEN HE IS SICK ????
  • “whad de fug edz u should go befor u ged dis doo”
  • “i’ve been to school without you for a week now richard im done”
  • richie wants to cry
  • eddie is still just staring at him bc he doesn’t know how to approach him since he’s still a little disgusted at the situation this is all new for him ok but he really wants to help his bf
  • “i bought u some stuff”
  • richie starts to smile wide
  • “BUT” eddie starts
  • “before i give u any”
  • “????”
  • “you’re gonna leave this house”
  • richie looks at him like he’s crazy
  • “r u serioud eddi every pard of ma badi hurts”
  • eddie feels so bad for him
  • “you don’t even have fresh air here richie so i am serious”
  • richie can’t take the fact that his boyfriend is such a knight in shiny armor
  • eddie leaves the bag for a moment to grab richie inside his blanket burrito and pull him up.
  • “ur gonna have to get rid of this blanket tho”
  • “no:(”
  • eddie looks at him
  • “srsly richie i can’t give you a ride on my bike you’re gonna fall down and roll down the hill”
  • “:(”
  • “i will give you my blanket once we’re there”
  • richie throws his blanket down way too fast and he starts feeling nauseous
  • the bike ride isn’t very aesthetic™ for him either bc his head is spinning and all of his muscles hurt and oh my gosh he’s doing his everything not to throw up on eddie’s back rn
  • eddie’s mom isn’t home so eddie can easily sneak richie in
  • he’s not sure how he’s gonna explain him living there until he’s healthy again tho
  • but he’s not gonna worry about that now
  • (fast forward;
  • i donT CARE THAT HE’S SICK AND INFECTED MOM,, i LoVE HiM!!!!)
  • so now they go into eddie’s room ( he’s basically holding richie up )
  • and richie settles down on eddie’s bed and eddie wraps him inside a blanket and richie is just smiling at him the whole time
  • “r u comfortable”
  • “very” richie says. the blanket smells like eds and he is in eddie’s bed. ofc he’s comfortable 
  • “here’s my laptop”
  • eddie hands him his macbook and goes to the kitchen to prepare the chicken soup. in the can. which eddie still thinks is unacceptable as he heats it up
  • “here”
  • richie is about to cry bc “did you really mage me chiggen soub”
  • eddie nods with a light frown like wtf obviously that’s what you eat when you’re sick
  • “there’s also ice cream”
  • ice cream???”
  • “yeah it’s for the throat…???
  • eddie is kinda confused bc how can richie not know it helps
  • then it occurs to him that
  • richie doesn’t know, because
  • no one’s probably ever taken care of him when he’s sick????
  • i REPEAT, NO ONE’S EVER TAKEN CARE OF RICHIE TOZIER WHEN HE IS SICK
  • now eddie wants to cry
  • “scoot over”
  • he wants richie to be on the side next to the wall so he can lean his head on it if he wants to it’s more comfy  
  • with a lil trouble richie does move and eddie cuddles up next to him
  • literally cuddles
  • richie is SHOCKED
  • “are you sure u wanna do dat”
  • “100%”
  • richie wants to marry eddie
  • “wad r we watchin”
  • “kill bill”
  • “waid a minude… isn’d dis-”
  • “yours. yeah. i never watched it and i never gave it back so”
  • “u never watched dis?? oh my god eddi—”
  • “eat ur chicken soup and watch this movie with me now oKAY” eddie is a pissed off knight in shiny armor bc talking is just gonna exhaust richie more and he needs to get WELL
  • richie eats his soup and they watch the movie in silence,,,, glued to each other and at some point eddie realizes richie’s fallen asleep with his head resting towards eddie’s
  • eddie can’t move because he knows if he does he’s gonna wake up richie
  • but thankfully after like 15 minutes richie wakes up and he’s like “shid where am i”
  • “you’re with me”
  • he turns his gaze down at eddie and he remembers that yes,,, he is in fact with eddie and he just feels: ️️️️️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
  • well the weekend goes by and eddie goes hardcore nurse on richie and literally by sunday he is already pretty healthy like his voice is back to normal and so on
  • but… Ohno
  • eddie and richie are eating in the kitchen
  • richie goes;
  • “baby can u pass me that ketchup”
  • “sure—”
  • SNEEZE
  • eddie’s eyes widen and he freezes in shock
  • richie looks at him like o'shit he done caught the flu
  • but then he starts to smile
  • “WELL I GUESS I WON’T BE GOING TO SCHOOL FOR ANOTHER WEEK”
  • “what do you mean?!?!?!”
  • “because obviously im gonna take care of u”
  • eddie is 😨😭💘😓😭💕😨😭💗
  • then later they tell the other losers why they’re both missing school and stanley uris wants to comment again
  • “so eddie u went to richie’s house??”
  • “yesh”
  • “and i thought i was romantic letting bill choose dinner”

@nopetaking @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart @itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies @ageorgymi @oh-youre-the-worst @eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak @waterlouis @wyattghouleff@urtury @bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack@reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir @anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie @queertrashmouth 

EXO reacting to their GF being into horror movies

Hey there ^^ here is your request! (your English is good though!) hope you like it~


EXO-K 

Suho: “Very interesting y/n! I like them too!”

“I thought you get scared easily”

“HAHA!! I don’t know what you’re talking about…” *acts chill ends up sweating nervously as soon as you start talking about the ring. So he distract himself with food.* 

Originally posted by wintershower


Baekhyun: “Baekkie! Lets go watch insidious chapter 3! PLEASE? PRETTY PLEASE?” 

“Jagi. Why are you doing this to me?!” *facepalm*  

*Ends up going with you to the movies. But soon regrets it, because he couldn’t sleep of nightmares, meanwhile you’re sleeping perfectly like a baby* 

“How can she even sleep like that!? UGH!” 

Originally posted by exoturnback


Chanyeol: *Sees you reading a horror novel alone in the middle of the night while the whole place was dark*

“J-Jagiya? Are you okay? What are you doing… all alone… in the dark… with that creepy book in your hand.” *Gulps nervously* 

Originally posted by yeollovemebaek


D.O: *You tell him you like horror movies and you have a huge collection back in your place*

“I love you. Lets get married. Right now right here.” *Pretend you’re Chanyeol*

jelly kai in the background LOL.

Originally posted by parkchny


Kai: “Wanna play hide and seek jagi?” … GIF.  THE GIF. THIS GIF. OMFG. 

Originally posted by blondejongin


Sehunnie: “Sehunah! lets go watch a horror movie!” 

“Sure jagiya” 

*after the movie when you both are home, you hide behind the bathroom’s door to scare him.*

“BO!”

“AAAAAH! NO FK THIS SHIT I’M GOING TO THE DORM TONIGHT”   

*You laugh trying to stop him from going but he’ll be dramatic about it, eventually you will win as you offer him some cookies* 

Originally posted by xehunter



EXO-M 

Xiumin: *unfazed whatsoever, and when you two watch a horror movie together he’d laugh at how cute you’re reacting to the jump scares and hold you closer so you feel safe.” 

Originally posted by minsecure


Luhan: *You’re telling him the story of a horror novel*

“Okay? Then what happens? Does the baby kill his parents?” 

*Creepy Luhan mode activated*


Kris: *You start telling him about the movie you and your friend just watched in the theatre, he mentally plays a song in his head to not listen to you*

“Are you listening to me YiFan?” 

“Huh? Oh yeah I’m listening baobei, keep going…” 

*Continues to ignore you* 

Originally posted by krismehard


Lay: “How do you like the movie so far Yixing?” You ask with a mischievous grin on your face.

“Perfect!”  

“Well that was unexpected.” Your smile dies. 

Originally posted by parkchny


Chen: “Listen here jagiya, you’re gonna have to put in more effort if you wanna scare me” 

*Completely ignorant to the fact that you put a spider on top on his head.*

Originally posted by chenc-17


Tao: *Afte forcing him to watch a movie with you* 


Request box is open! 

queerquestion  asked:

Blood and chocolate

Story: D
Acting: C
Werewolves: F

As you all know, I absolutely love wasting my time watching werewolf movies. It should stand, therefor, that I enjoyed Blood and Chocolate, but Blood and Chocolate was a waste of wasting my time. The three hours it took for me to drive to see this movie, see this movie, and leave this movie I am absolutely positive I could have spent on something twice as trivial but still somehow more productive. The current list of those things include: painting my nails, then wiping all the paint off, creating the world’s longest spaghetti noodle by tying together small noodles, erecting a matchstick replica of the Library of Alexandria and setting it ablaze, and other such frivolous nonsense that still would have benefited my useless life more than slogging through the 98 minute insult to my senses that was Blood and Chocolate.

Blood and Chocolate stars Agnes Bruckner and Hugh Dancy, in the role that I am convinced first made people realize how nicely he looks confused and splattered in blood. This is the only thing redeemable about the film. Blood and Chocolate - which I will abbreviate from now on a BAC, which stands for both “Blood and Chocolate” and “Belligerent Awful Cinema” - is a film that, if you know anything about werewolves, or have seen any movie before at all, ever, you will be able to deduce the entire plot from only seeing the first ten minutes. Agnes Bruckner is a werewolf (SPOILER) who falls in love with Hugh Dancy (SPOILER) and is torn between keeping him a secret from her pack of werewolf family members, who follow the Alpha-Beta-Gamma dynamic and do not approve of him (SPOILER), because werewolves apparently favour arranged marriages rather than going off and doing whatever they please, because they can turn into goddamn wolves whenever they want, and if someone tells you you can’t do something because they’re a goddamn wolf, you just turn into a goddamn wolf and fight them because that’s how they solve things in goddamn wolf world, but not before crying about it and feeling guilty about your terrible secret, because you are a weakly written female character torn between the duality of two objectively not-so-awful things - being a werewolf, and having Hugh Dancy think you’re cute (SPOILER).

As it turns out though, Hugh Dancy plays a genre-savvy artist who knows a thing or two about werewolves (called “loup-garou” in the movie because we live in Romania, and we’re fancy like that), and is in fact drawing a comic book about werewolves - which is somewhat strange if you think about it. Imagine you meet a guy, and he’s like “god, I love girls with brown hair”, and you’re like “holy shit! I’m a girl with brown hair!” and then you go to his house, and he’s writing a comic exclusively about a girl with brown hair, who looks just like you, and keeps drawings of girls with brown hair pasted up all over his living room, and also knows exactly how to kill girls with brown hair, and uh, this metaphor is getting heavy-handed but you get the picture. Agnes’s family finds out about Hugh, and they think “let’s scare him off!” and as you can figure out from having seen at least one movie in your life, it works terribly and one of them ends up getting silver in the face and dying.

At this point Hugh Dancy does the only sensible thing in the film, which is tell Agnes to get her wolfy ass away from him before more werewolves try and get him killed, which has the exact opposite effect and leads up to him being captured by all the rest of the werewolves related to Agnes. Then, BAC decides that instead of eating him, they’re gonna perform some bizarre predator-prey ritual to see if he lives or dies. This is where the movie totally lost me - I mean, I was lost before, but I could still see what they were trying to do up until this point, in which the film took my sorry ass outside, drove me to the nearest cliff, and punted me off of it without the parachute. If Hugh Dancy manages to outrun all the werewolves chasing him and make it across a river some distance away, he gets to live - but if one of the werewolves catches him, they all get to descend on his ill-fated white rear and tear him limb from limb. I kept thinking “so, do they do this whenever someone finds out about them?” Could you imagine? Your buddy Carl calls and is like “hey, someone saw me turn again” and fuck, now you have to call up Uncle Hornberg and Great Aunty Lou-Ellis to all get together and chase this jackass through the woods. It’s like shitty werewolf Thanksgiving, except the only thing on the menu is Unfortunate Bystander and depending on who you’re chasing, the whole thing is either really really less or really really more racist.

SO as Hugh departs on the worst sprint of his life, all the wolves start chasing him - while still human. It’s literally a bunch of half-naked dudes running after Hugh Dancy in the woods. I want to be Hugh Dancy during the screening of this. I want to hear someone say “you need to run as fast as you can, and all these half-naked dudes are gonna chase you”, and I want to nod and say “sure”, with a completely straight face, knowing the promise of a paycheck is the only thing keeping my heart beating and allowing me to deliver my lines with shattering into a cacophonous echo of laughing and wheezing.
And then the werewolves change into werewolves! Except they’re not werewolves. They’re wolves. Not even BIG wolves like in Twilight, 100% normal-looking pups. But the way they change is hilarious. Instead of just seamlessly shifting or bursting out of their skin, the werewolves in BAC jump into the air, glow like magic, and hit the ground as wolves. I am not shitting you. Apparently to become a werewolf, you need to reach max running velocity in order to trigger magical primordial ghost ectoplasm to envelope your shit human form, at which point the crappy CGI effect will wear off and you can resume trying to kill the everloving shit out of Hugh Dancy.

Thankfully for mister Dancy, he manages to escape with the help of Agnes, who is also part of the hunt, because she’s definitely not going to turn around and help him instead of chewing his face off. She turns into a white wolf - which everybody saw coming, as everyone knows that all protagonist werewolves are white, so people can distinguish them from their evil man-eating “normal-wolf-looking” family members - and helps him evade the pack and cross the river. Hugh Dancy stabs her with a silver knife anyway because he knows all about werewolves, but he’s never heard of the White Protagonist Werewolf rule, the idiot, the fucking moron.
To keep things short, Hugh Dancy forgives her and helps her get an antidote for her silver poisoning, then the pack finds them again and captures Agnes. There’s a lot of capturing in this film, probably because the writers had no concept of legitimate peril besides “SOMEONE IN A PLACE THEY DON’T WANT TO BE IN??” and “THE GIRL AND GUY MIGHT NOT END UP TOGETHER!!”. Hugh Dancy comes to rescue her and everyone has a big fight, and he kills the pack leader, which convinces all the other wolves that like, maybe they should stop, I guess. Agnes and Hugh decide they can still totally make their relationship work, since nothing binds two people together like clandestine knowledge of a werewolf underground, and also murder.

BAC ends with Agnes and Dancy driving out of the city, past some other people that are totally and obviously werewolves. These people turn their necks to the couple, which is supposed to be read as them accepting they are the new alphas and showing their submission. This goes against normal wolf behavior, in which the subordinate wolf will roll on its back and piss all over itself - which I would have greatly preferred honestly, as it perfectly illustrates the quality of the film, and getting up and going to the bathroom for 98 minutes is probably something else I could have done that would have somehow been more productive than watching it.

OVERALL RATING: F——-
BONUS RATING: 10/10 lycanthrope urine samples