dis is fo u

Concept: Blair being as old as the witches even though she’s technically not a witch. 

Another concept: Blair lowkey cringing when Soul talks about the piano or plays it around her.

Another concept: Her being alive or at least aware of the (mythical) creation of the first primeval piano, which used needles to puncture cat’s tails to make sound.

That is all.

Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga [UPDATED]
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS
  • Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*
  • Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON
  • Mordecai: oh
  • CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY
  • Del: lol sure
  • Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO
  • Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION
  • Margaret: fuck
  • *literally a day later*
  • Mordecai: aw shit muscle milk's wedding is today
  • Rigby: Don't you mean "Muscle Man"?
  • *phone rings*
  • Mordecai: not this bitch again *picks up phone* HEY CJ WHAT UP?!?!?!
  • CJ: Nothin much, you?
  • Mordecai: Meh
  • CJ:
  • Mordecai:
  • CJ: Byea
  • *hangs up*
  • Rigby: Ummmm
  • Mordecai: IT'S AWKWARD WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT?!
  • Rigby: oh my fuckin godddddd mordecai just go shove ur fluffy dick up cj's ass and it will make everything a lot better for the rest of us
  • *wedding comes*
  • Margaret: Hi, Mordecai, can you usher me to my seat? :3
  • Mordecai: Nice shoes *shoves her in the doorway*
  • Rigby: *facepalms*
  • Mordecai: CJ HIIIIIIIIIII YOU LOOKIN FABULOUS
  • CJ: thanks u know i'm the hottest cloud around and if you disagree with me ur toast
  • Mordecai: Right haha
  • Muscle Man: AW SHIT WHERE'S MY LETTER
  • Mordecai and Rigby: ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • *finds letter*
  • Rigby: Oh yeah me and that mole bitch have been dating for months now
  • Mordecai: WA T TH E F UC K
  • Rigby: Too bad ur not livin the good life. If you want to, go wit your GUT
  • Mordecai: thank u u fatass raccoon
  • Muscle Man and Starla: *gets married*
  • Mordecai: BEFORE WE GET MARRIED LEMME SAY A FEW WORDS OF HONOR
  • Rigby: hoe don't do it
  • Mordecai: EVERYONE HAS A SOULMATE BUT WHY NOT ME? I FUCK UP EVERYONE'S LIVES FOR THE WORSE AND NOW I REALIZE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE A SOULMATE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. CJ UR TRASH. UR FUCKIN TRASH.
  • Rigby: oh my god
  • CJ: heres your bracelet you little fuck
  • Mordecai: RIGBY YOU TOLD ME TO GO WITH MY GUT
  • Rigby: YOU WENT COMPLETELY INSANE MORDECAI
  • Mordecai: my gut sucks what did you expect
  • Rigby: *looks into the camera like he's in The Office*
  • Ron: Aw yiss Harry ily u cool bro
  • Ron: Dafuq is this chick Hermione
  • Ron: Get away from ma bffl nerd
  • Ron: No gurl don't cri srry srry
  • Ron: Now imma have 2 save ur ass ho
  • Ron: Yo u actually pretty cool Herms
  • Ron: I guess we friendz now
  • Ron: Aye Hermione sup
  • Ron: WAIT Y U PETRIFIED GURL
  • Ron: Y I feel so sad
  • Ron: Yes ur back I missed u omg
  • Ron: Dafuq u got a cat 4
  • Ron: Yo cat ate ma rat srsly
  • Ron: Is dis fo real
  • Ron: Nah I ain't talking 2 until u say srry
  • Ron: And how u in so many classes
  • Ron: Aw u look sad boo
  • Ron: K imma forgive u cuz u still ma bff
  • Ron: Imma help u gurl don't wrry
  • Ron: SHIT U HUGGIN ME
  • Ron: YOOO ITS NICE THO
  • Ron: Dafuq ma rats an old man
  • Ron: Ma leg omg
  • Ron: nuhuh srs u gonna have 2 kill me b4 u touch ma Harry yo
  • Ron: Aye Hermione
  • Ron: You stayin at ma house gurl
  • Ron: You look foine
  • Ron: Wait wut
  • Ron: Aye school leggo
  • Ron: dafuq is this Yule Ball ish
  • Ron: I need a gal pal yo
  • Ron: Aye Hermione u be female
  • Ron: Dafuq u sayin u got a date
  • Ron: FUCKIN KRUM IS UR DATE
  • Ron: DAFUQ IS THIS SHIT IM MAD
  • Ron: Fuck dis yo
  • Ron: Imma prefect omg
  • Ron: I'd like 2 thank da academy
  • Ron: Hermione didn't have no faith tho
  • Ron: She be lookin foine tho
  • Ron: Aye Quidditch
  • Ron: No bruh fuk Quidditch
  • Ron: FUCKIN HERMIONE KISSED ME
  • Ron: ON DA CHEEK BUT STILL
  • Ron: AWWWWW YISSS
  • Ron: Lol u sayin Imma teaspoon gurl
  • Ron: I'm ur teaspoon mmm
  • Ron: Aye 6th year holla at me
  • Ron: Dafuq is this slug club
  • Ron: Wait u want me 2 go wit u herms
  • Ron: Bae yesssss
  • Ron: wait a sec
  • Ron: U SNOGGED KRUM
  • Ron: OH NO BAE NUHUH
  • Ron: Lavender come here yessss
  • Ron: Wait no Hermione come back boo
  • Ron: Dis ish ain't fair
  • Ron: Shit I got poisoned boo
  • Ron: Aye Hermione's back sup gurl
  • Ron: AYE ME AND LAV ARE OVER YISS
  • Ron: oh no dumbledore
  • Ron: OH BOO DONT CRI
  • Ron: Imma stroke ur hair boo yass mm
  • Ron: k Imma read dis book cuz I want u
  • Ron: u hella good at decorating
  • Ron: oh boo don't cry Imma hug u
  • Ron: ou I love huggin u mmm
  • Ron: okie we goin away holla
  • Ron: aye ma family's okie Imma hug u now Hermione
  • Ron: looks like we goin campin
  • Ron: fukin h8 dis locket
  • Ron: I'm fukin hungry and dis locket yo
  • Ron: I ain't about dis
  • Ron: I'm out
  • Ron: WAIT IM SRRY
  • Ron: IM BACK THO
  • Ron: NO MA BAES BEIN TORTURED
  • Ron: YALL TAKE ME INSTEAD
  • Ron: ITS OKIE BOO UR OKIE
  • Ron: ILY OMG ITS OKIE
  • Ron: o dayum we goin to hogwarts
  • Ron: I have an idea yo
  • Ron: Harry calm down bruh we went to get some basilisk fangs cha feel
  • Ron: wait da house elves
  • Ron: we gotta save em
  • Ron: OH SHIT
  • Ron: HELLA YASS HERMIONE
  • Ron: YOU KISSIN ME GURL
  • Ron: MMMM SO GOOD BAE
  • Ron: IMMA LIFT U UP
  • Ron: YASS KEEP KISSIN ME
  • Ron: Ily Hermione
  • Ron: 5eva
Mordecai's Love Life Abridged - The Thrilling Saga
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...
  • Mordecai: i fucked up. fuck
  • *the next day*
  • Mordecai: what up cj
  • CJ: why the did you invite me to this shithole of a coffee shop
  • Mordecai: idk what happened
  • CJ: Bitch plz
  • Mordecai: Here's a bunch of butt-shaped gifts
  • CJ: OH MY GOD I FORGIVE YOU I FUCKIN LOVE BUTTS
  • Margaret: IM GOIN TO CALL MORDY AT THE WRONG FUCKING TIME. YO MORDY
  • CJ: who the fuck is this bitch
  • Mordecai: The bitch I kissed
  • CJ: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE.
  • *more sad music*
  • Mordecai: fuck you margaret... fuck you...
  • Sad Sax Guy: IF YOU HAVIN GURL PROBLEMS I FELL BAD FO YOU SON I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE
  • Mordecai: shut up and help me cj fuckin hates my guts
  • Sad Sax Guy: Get the bitch you kissed here
  • Mordecai: Fine
  • *at the park*
  • Mordecai: Wut up bitch
  • Margaret: I don't want to get involved even though I should have stopped you from kissing me but I went along with it anyway, so fuck you.
  • Mordecai: You're a good friend
  • *hugs*
  • CJ: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
  • Mordecai: goddammit...
  • Sad Sax Guy: Lol just put up a bunch of cheap-ass performances fo her
  • Mordecai: thanks lmao
  • CJ: is this a fuckin joke
  • Mordecai: Yo up Cee- *gets hit by bus*
  • CJ: JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU OKAY
  • Mordecai: Yeah, thing is.... are you?
  • CJ: Feelin' great *slaps him on head with board* bye asshole
  • Rigby: Are you insane?!
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: STAHP LISTENING TO A WEIRD SHIRTLESS GUY WHO PLAYS THE SAXOPHONE FOR SOME WEIRD REASON
  • Mordecai: Ugh.
  • Sad Sax Guy: Go to your older bitch's house
  • Mordecai: You mean my mom's?
  • Sad Sax Guy: ...
  • *goes to mom's house*
  • Mordecai's Mom: You done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: I KNOW. HELP ME.
  • Mordecai's Mom: Sway her in.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • *goes outside*
  • Mordecai: Rigby, tell dis bitch to look outside
  • Rigby: Look outside
  • CJ: Awwwwwww...
  • *at hospital*
  • CJ: Why the fuck did you kiss that bitch
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR MARGARET AND SEEING HER BROUGHT DOS FEELZ BACK I'M SORRY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK IT WAS MY FAULT.
  • CJ: Fine.
  • *makes out*
  • Sad Sax Guy: Happy holidays, asshole.
  • *a month later*
  • Eileen: YOU GUYZ WANNA SEE SOME FUCKIN SEA TURTS
  • CJ, Mordecai, and Rigby: sure
  • Eileen: YO MARGARET YOU WANNA SEE
  • CJ: no
  • Eileen: wat
  • CJ: NO.
  • Eileen: Oh. Right.
  • *in the car*
  • CJ: you had to kiss dat bitch didnt u mordecai
  • Mordecai: I HAD FEELZ FOR HER I'M SORRY FO DA LAST TIME.
  • *drama with spa shit happens*
  • CJ: Goddammit.
  • *calls Margaret*
  • Margaret: YOOOOOOO CHECK OUT THESE ASSHOLES USIN' TURTLES FO THEIR SPA SHIT, HOW DA FUCK DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ANIMAL CRUELTY?
  • *a bunch of shit goes down*
  • Eileen: THX MARGARET FO SAVING OUR ASS
  • CJ: I called her u know...
  • Eileen: CJ AWWWWWWWWWW
  • *group hug with margaret*
  • CJ: bitch what the fuck do u think you're doing
  • Margaret: #awkward
  • Eileen: SHUT UP AND HUG ME
  • CJ: i came to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now
  • *a month later*
  • Mordecai: HOLY SHIT A PARTY IS GOIN DOWN AT DAT OTHER BITCH'S HOUSE. YO C-
  • CJ: lol no i'd rather pick up garbage than do that
  • Rigby: Oh right, because-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up Rigby. Look, I'll get u some of dat cake cause u a bae.
  • CJ: THANK YOU MORDECAI *hugs*
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: NOPE *runs into bathroom*
  • Rigby: dude... what the fuck...
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T FUCKIN ANYTHING UP IN HERE
  • Rigby: bruh...
  • Mordecai: Fine...
  • Margaret's Dad: YO DIAPER BOY I GOT A SEAT IN THE HELI FO YA YOU WANNA RIDE WIT DA FAM?
  • Mordecai: shit
  • *goes onto helicopter*
  • Margaret: How's the park? :)
  • Mordecai: FUCK HER RIGHT IN DA PUSSY
  • Margaret: stahp acting weird oh my god...
  • Mordecai: I HAVE TO U DON'T UNDERSTAND
  • CJ: lol so some bitch got burned by a river and... what the fuck is my bitch doing with that bitch...
  • Mordecai: oh no. don't.
  • CJ: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MORDECAI I AM DONE TRUSTING YOU YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN BIRD SHIT YOU CAN GO SUCK ON MARGARET'S EGGS FOR ALL I CARE *rages*
  • Mordecai: NO STAHP I'VE BEEN TELLIN YOU A HUNDRED FUCKIN TIMES I AM NOT WIT THIS BITCH ANYMORE
  • CJ: LIAR
  • *almost kills Margaret's parents*
  • Margaret: MOMMMMMMMMMMMM DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Margaret's parents: well fuck u wanna do a mannonball into the pool
  • *lands*
  • CJ: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR *knocks Margaret off helicopter*
  • Margaret: I HAVE A BAE LITERALLY CALM THE FUCK DOWN CJ
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Margaret's dad: lol wut
  • CJ: lol wut
  • Margaret's Boyfriend: lol hi guyz wut up
  • Margaret: SO SHUT THE FUCK UP THEN
  • Mordecai: thank god *lands helicopter*
  • CJ: *cries*
  • Mordecai: yo bitch i got u cake
  • CJ: you might as well take that cake and shove it up my ass mordecai
  • Mordecai: lol ok
  • CJ: IT's A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU MORON
  • Mordecai: oh
  • CJ: I FUCKED UP. I ALMOST KILLED DIS BITCH'S PARENTS-
  • Margaret: will u please stop referring to me as "bitch"
  • CJ: ANNNNNNYWAAAAYYYS I ALMOST KILLED THEM ALL OVER NOTHING
  • Mordecai: yeah u did that....
  • CJ: I HAVE TO LEAVE I'M HAVING FEELZ
  • *CJ runs off as "You Give Love a Bad Name" by Bon Jovi plays in the background*
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: zzzzzzzzz HOLY FUCK oh my god *shoves head on couch* EILEEN GET YOUR MOLE ASS IN HERE
  • Eileen: oh god not this shit again
  • Margaret: I don't actually have a bae! I made the whole thing up so CJ wouldn't kick my ass! WHAT DO I DO
  • Eileen: Tell the truth?
  • Margaret: bitch pls
  • *knocking on door*
  • Eileen: you know that bitch that almost killed your parents? well, she's here
  • Margaret: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE *opens the door*
  • CJ: Hey, Margaret! :3
  • Margaret: Hey, uh, CJ...
  • CJ: Look I'm sorry for pretty much the whole time that I've known you with killing your parents, destruction and all that other shit, but can we get to know each other a little bit? You can bring your bae if you want!
  • Margaret: KEWL
  • CJ: Awesome! *leaves*
  • Margaret: OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE
  • Eileen: Get Del here
  • Margaret: YO DEL CAN YOU PRETEND TO BE MY SUGAR DADDY FOR THE DAY
  • Del: lol sure
  • Margaret: RIGBY COME UP WITH A SCRIPT
  • Rigby: k
  • Del: *literally fucks everything up*
  • CJ: he cool
  • Margaret: ikr
  • Del: how you guys doing (ohhhhh dis is da best ass ive felt all my life)
  • Margaret: good I guess (get your fucking meat sticks off my ass)
  • Margaret: YOU'RE FUCKING EVERYTHING UP
  • Del: i know
  • Margaret: RIGBY DEL IS-
  • Rigby: fuck u bitch *hangs up*
  • Mordecai: i like del. hes pretty cool
  • Margaret: lol yeah
  • Mordecai: :>
  • Margaret: (oh my god mordecai's adorable as shit) DEL IS NOT ACTUALLY-
  • Bar: LOL HERE COMES A FUCKIN KISS CAM TO LITERALLY FUCK EVERYTHING UP. AND NOW LET'S "COINCIDENTALLY" POINT IT TOWARDS MARGARET AND DEL TROLOLOLOLOLOLOL
  • Margaret: oh god i have to kiss this ass pincher
  • Del: come on gimme a kiss
  • Margaret: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF
  • Audience: shit
  • CJ: im sorry what the fuck did you just say
  • Margaret: HE'S NOT ACTUALLY MY BAE I MADE THE WHOLE THING UP SO YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME
  • CJ: lol that's fine except you fuckin lied to me u bitch.
  • Margaret: i know...
  • CJ: YOU HAVE FEELZ FOR MORDECAI DON'T YOU? YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME BUT I'M PUTTING YOU ON THE SPOT SO YOU KINDA HAVE TO
  • Margaret: OKAY FINE I DO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY
  • Mordecai: oh fuck no
  • CJ: fuck u bitch
  • *storms out*
  • Margaret: Morde-
  • Mordecai: NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME HERE IN THIS AWKWARD SITUATION
  • Margaret: fuck
Mordecai's Love Life (Simplified) [REVISED]
  • Mordecai: *sees Margaret*
  • Mordecai: HOLY S HTI I C ANNOT BREA THE SHE SMOKIN HOT
  • Rigby: Go ask her out! She seems nice...
  • Mordecai: lol wut
  • Rigby: Go ask lady pecs out
  • Mordecai: You kiddin me, I ain't doin that shit
  • Rigby: UGHHHGHGHGHGGHGHGH
  • *five episodes later*
  • Mordecai: Alright, imma do it. I'm gonna do it
  • Margaret: Hey dude wassup?
  • Mordecai: Do you wanna... fuck.
  • Margaret: WHAT?!
  • Mordecai: Nevermind NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE *runs back to Rigby*
  • Rigby: Dude!
  • Mordecai: I tried man, I really did try
  • *he eventually makes up with Margaret and hangs around with her for four seasons not getting anywhere*
  • Mordecai: I'm gonna kiss that hot piece of shit
  • Rigby: Oh lord...
  • Mordecai: it'll be easy!
  • Rigby: DO IT OR YOU'LL HAVE TO WEAR A DIAPER
  • Mordecai: wtf
  • Rigby: DO IT FOR THE VINE
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhhhhhhhh
  • Margaret: What's this shit I'm hearing about a bet?
  • Mordecai: No.
  • Margaret: FUCK YOU MORDECAI. FUCK YOU. *runs off*
  • Mordecai: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
  • Margaret: Oh you want me to save your sorry little ass from freezing to death? Tell me how you REALLY feel about me.
  • Mordecai: OKAY FINE I LIKE YOU, OKAY?
  • Margaret: *nearly kisses him*
  • Margaret: Fuck you you piece of shit
  • *a few episodes later*
  • Eileen: HORY SHIT GUYS A FUCKIN METEOR SHOWER IS GONNA HIT THIS TOWN WITH A BANG *inside her head* hello Rigby you rabie-filled hottie.
  • Mordecai: Cool! I'll be there.
  • Rigby: ACTUALLY DO IT THIS TIME YOU WUSS.
  • *meteor shower hits*
  • Mordecai: Uhhhhhhhhhhh
  • Rigby: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Stahp im emotionally unstable
  • Old potato guy: Bruh
  • Mordecai: Ughhhhh. Yo Margaret you wanna kiss?
  • *makes out*
  • Margaret: That was a great meteor shower (what the fuck just happened)
  • *dates for awhile*
  • Mordecai: Yo Margaret
  • Margaret: Goin' to college! Fuck you.
  • *loud emotional crying from Mordecai*
  • CJ: Hey Mordecai, I'm a cool ass cloud that puts up with zero shit, have all the same interests as you, and I kill people. You wanna date?
  • Mordecai: gee, I don't know, you're pretty cool, but-
  • Rigby: DO NOT.
  • Mordecai: Fine.
  • CJ: sick
  • *hangs out for awhile*
  • Eileen: GO ON A FUCKIN DATE ALREADY
  • Mordecai and CJ: wut
  • Eileen: DO IT.
  • Mordecai: Fine, u down fo dis CJ?
  • CJ: sure
  • *date than ends with drama and Mordecai and CJ becoming canon*
  • Mordecai: I luv this cloud
  • Rigby: STAHP
  • Mordecai: What?!
  • Rigby: SPEND MORE TIME WIT ME
  • Mordecai: ... bruh
  • Rigby: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • *a few months later*
  • Margaret: Surprise bitch
  • Mordecai: THE FUCK
  • Margaret: I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me
  • Mordecai: No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • CJ: Hey Morde-
  • Mordecai: Shut the fuck up
  • CJ: What?
  • Margaret: Hey CJ!
  • CJ: Hi, I'm Mordo's bitch now
  • Margaret: WAT
  • Mordecai: I, ummmm
  • Margaret: No, it's cool! You need to be happy!
  • Mordecai: thx
  • *hug*
  • Mordecai: I AIN'T LETTIN GO OF YOU
  • Margaret: ME EITHER
  • *makes out*
  • CJ: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
  • Mordecai: well shit
  • Margaret: oh...
  • *runs out crying*
  • Mordecai: NO PLZ FORGIVE ME
  • Eileen: Dis bitch is now my roommate. fuck you.
  • Margaret: you done fucked up Mordecai
  • Mordecai: ...

>you had been meaning to visit Dion in the past few days. He had stories to tell, and so did you. As he was a good friend of yours, you always wanted to hear about him, and just want those royals could be up to~ You’re certain your appearance will give him a scare (as it’s scared everyone else) but he’s rather mellow, isn’t he?

>So, dolling yourself up as best as you can, you enter the coordinates you have for his palace/ship/hive/thing?? and hope you haven’t intruded at a wrong time. 

anonymous asked:

Could you talk about your love for Finnick?

OH  MY GOD OH MY GOD OKAY i honestly could talk about finnick aLL FUCKING DAY like can u believe this child so like small tiny baby 14 yr old finnick getting reaped and no one thinking he has a chance in hell bc he is so young buT THEN HE DOES WIN THE YOUNGEST VICTOR IN HISTORY and so he manages to get out of that situation but then small tiny darling 14 yr old finnick being told by president snow to be a prostitute basically and he says no and then his family dies. oh my fo i am crying while writing this can u just imagine 14 yr old finnick odair who likes the sea and fishing and his family and now theyre all DEAD and to protect mags he has to do what snow says oh my god hE IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD AND HE GETS SOLD INTO SEX SLAVERY I HONESTLY WANT TO DIE EVERY TIME I REMEMBER THIS HAPPENED TO HIM OH MY FUCKING GOD. 

i have no idea how he survived. like he is the strongest person ever when you think about it like how could this have happened how did he not kill himself or something. i love finnick s oo m cuh. he like develops this ‘capitol persona’ thats like this flirty cocky shade of himself and he uses it to protect himself and not let people close to knowing the //real// finnick odair aka thE BIGGEST SOFTY INT HE WORLD AND ALSO A GIANT MENTALLY UNSTABLE DORK MONSTER. and he can only be this //real// finnick when hes away from the capitol and with mags in their victor house by the sea GO D . 

so then like years of his life pass in this fashion like mentoring tributes who die every year and being forced to sleep with people and gettign secrets for them bc finnick odair is a conniving bastard. and thennnnnnnn annie comes along. personal headcanon is that they meet when she was reaped and not before but like either way sUDDENLY FINNICK ODAIR HAS ANOTHER PERSON HE NEEDS TO PROTECT EXCEPT NOW SHES GOING INTO THE GAMES OF DEATH AND THERE IS NO WAY THAT SHE COULD SURVIVE. except she doES and headcanon a lot of it is because finnick used every single one of his connections and capitol lovers to send her stuff and keep her safe. and she survives but shes “”“mad”“” now but finnick doesnt care because secretly he thinks that hes mad too and he and mags take care of annie and they live right next door to each other in district 4’s victors village. 

anD SO THATS FINNICK ODAIRS ENTIRE WORLD IS ANNIE CRESTA AND MAGS AND KEEPING THEM SAFE NO MATTER WHAT AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY FOR A COUPLE YEARS AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT THANKS TO KATNISS EVERDEEN (jk ily katniss its not ur fault). suddenly finnick and annie have to go bACK into the arena but finnck and mags know that annie wouldnt survive it a second time so they go in together. and him and mags plan to keep katniss and peeta safe for the rebellion but everything fucks up basically and mags dies and annie is captured. i //cannot// stress this enough finnick odair has 2 people he cares about in this world and he goes to impossible lengths to keep them safe. now one of them is DEAD and the other one is in the hands of the capitol and finnick knows exactly what they could be doing to her because hes been at the mercy of the capitol all of his adult life. 

basically there is nothing left for finnick odair to live for but he keeps living anyway and he pushes thru because he is the sTRONGEST AND BRAVEST AND KINDEST AND MOST PURE MAN EVER TO HAVE EXISTED. and him and annie are reunited and things are still not okay but now that theyre TOGETHER theyre okay enough oh y god i cried writi ng tthat sentence okay 

an d thne of course because things are good in finnicks life everything has to fuck up because nothing can be good in finncks life he has to go and DIE. he DIES. anD HE WAS THE BEST OF THEM. HE KNEW THE POWER AND DESTRUCTIVENESS OF THE CAPITOL AND SNOW AND STILL HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT BACK EVEN THOUGH IT ALMOST COST HIM EVERYTHING. AND THEN IT DID BECAUSE HE DIED AND HE LEFT ANNIE ALL ALONE. HE’LL NEVER GET TO MEET HIS SON. HE’LL NEVER GET TO GO BACK TO DISTRICT FOUR WITH ANNIE AND //HIS SON//. ALL HES KNOWN IN HIS LIFE IS PAIN AND SACRIFICE AND DEATH AND JUST WHEN THINGS GET BETTER HE IS TOO DEAD TO SEE THEM. HE IS THE BEST OF THEM AND HE DIED FOR NOTHIGN. I HOPE THEY NEVER FORGET WHAT HE LOST AND WHAT HE DID. THERE SHOULD BE FUCKING MONUMENTS TO FINNICK ODAIR AND HIS BRAVERY AND HIS SACRIFICE. I WOULD SELL MY SOUL IF IT MEANT THAT FINNICK GOT TO LIVE HAPPY IWTH HIS WIFE AND SON BY THE SEA. HE DESERVES THAT. AND HE’LL NEVER GET IT. 

EXCUSE ME I HAVE TO GO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW NOW