dirty things

Okay, but imagine Angie learning Morse code so she can send Peggy cute little messages when they’re out and about. Like tapping out “You look cute today, English.” or “Hey, after this wanna go eat some pie and drink schnapps and maybe kiss for a bit?”. Normally the messages are cute but sometimes Angie gets dirty and taps things like “Hey Peg, when we get home I’m gonna bend you over a table.” or “I’m gonna make you scream so loud you’re not gonna be able to talk the next day”. Now imagine Angie tapping out a dirty message and Jarvis is around. They’re having tea and Angie taps out something like “This cake tastes great, but you taste even better.” and Jarvis chokes on his tea and Peggy turns hella red. At first Angie is confused, but then realizes what’s happening and just gets up and leaves.

Exo Reactions To Seeing You Asleep In Your Underwear

I sleep in actual pajamas but I would do this just to mess with them. Heh. xo

/I do not own any gifs unless stated otherwise/


Baekhyun: *stands over you, thinking about dirty things for an hour*

Chanyeol: *seriously conflicted about if he should wake you up for some fun sexy times*

Chen: *lays next to you & pokes at you until you open your eyes & see him smiling at you with a mischievous grin*

D.O.: *having dirty thoughts, looks around to make sure no one catches him having thoughts because that’s Kyungsoo logic*

Kai: *you wake up & see him giving you a look that you recognize too well*

Kris: *soaks in how you look, covers you up, goes into the bathroom & has a good time*

Lay: *gif*

Luhan: *CreepHan suddenly appears & wakes you up so you can have sexy time together*

Sehun: *openly enjoys the view*

Suho: *thinks for a split second about how good you look but then covers you up*

Tao: *you feel a finger run its way down your back & you wake up to him pressing up against you with no shirt on* /oh my god, I can’t handle this/

Xiumin: *runs across the room & literally jumps on you while you’re lying there, sliding his body up yours & those GOD DAMN GLORIOUS ABS rub against your skin*

If you have a request for a reaction, feel free to let me know. xo

“I still want to bathe with you”
I say
I don’t say
“And come home to your arms
And the soft crook of your neck after a long day of work”
I’m playing it safe in a golden claw footed tub
Or maybe a dirty yellowing thing
With charming grime and too many shampoo bottles
Only big enough for one body
But I’m making it fit two
It’s innocent here
No commitment to a bath
But a grungy bathroom comes with a dirty apartment
That I may or may not want to share with you
I’m sinking in warm water
—  bath (coffeekisseswords)
Sex IS like cooking exactly ~ Which was my introduction to the “sex talk” from my crazy Arab Grandmother and Aunts. While coring out zucchini infact, yeah, i was told my grip was too firm, needed to loosen my hand and let the zucchini rotate gently. my excuse was i didn’t want it slipping out, slippage is bad, could get hurt. they all laughed, saying “some like loose, some like firm grips but as long as you stopped puncturing your husband will be happy”…. took a long time for me to figure out what the hell they meant, and why they’d always laugh when saying they we’re going to stuff the zucchinis….dirty dirty ladies.
—  Me (things to remember ❤❤)

anonymous asked:

Jim if you could fight anyone who would you fight

“Other people fight for me; I don’t have to fight anyone. I don’t get my own hands dirty with things like that.”


Consult me