One thing that always bugs me when parents are trying to evaluate whether or not their teenage kids will ever be able to live without them is I don’t think any of them consider that they might be the problem…
Which is totally understandable because why would you ever think that you being there and helping your child is actually hurting them?
But I know for a fact that I have about double the number of spoons when I am living on my own compared to when I’m living with my parents.
Like, the entire downstairs of my house is open plan and I am so anxious that I cannot be downstairs when someone else is.
My mum works from home most of the time so that means that I shut myself in my room and I don’t feed myself or do any chores like taking down dirty dishes to go in the dishwasher.
And trying to work around other people’s bathroom routines usually means that I can’t actually brush my teeth or shower when I have the executive functioning to do so.
I got my diagnosis around the time I moved out on my own for the first time so it’s not as if anyone can retroactively say that I’m incapable of living on my own but there have been times since I moved back in with my parents (so that I could afford to do my masters degree) when it has been heavily implied that my parents don’t necessarily think that I’m particularly good at looking after myself.
This is despite the fact that every time they go away for a weekend, they come back to an immaculate house, with all of the chores done and me actually eating healthily.
I dunno, it’s not really a major problem for me, but I can imagine that it would be if I had been diagnosed earlier, so I can’t help but wonder how many parents insist that their child couldn’t live without them, when they are actually holding their child back…