dirty dishes

One thing that always bugs me when parents are trying to evaluate whether or not their teenage kids will ever be able to live without them is I don’t think any of them consider that they might be the problem…

Which is totally understandable because why would you ever think that you being there and helping your child is actually hurting them?

But I know for a fact that I have about double the number of spoons when I am living on my own compared to when I’m living with my parents.

Like, the entire downstairs of my house is open plan and I am so anxious that I cannot be downstairs when someone else is.

My mum works from home most of the time so that means that I shut myself in my room and I don’t feed myself or do any chores like taking down dirty dishes to go in the dishwasher.

And trying to work around other people’s bathroom routines usually means that I can’t actually brush my teeth or shower when I have the executive functioning to do so.

I got my diagnosis around the time I moved out on my own for the first time so it’s not as if anyone can retroactively say that I’m incapable of living on my own but there have been times since I moved back in with my parents (so that I could afford to do my masters degree) when it has been heavily implied that my parents don’t necessarily think that I’m particularly good at looking after myself.

This is despite the fact that every time they go away for a weekend, they come back to an immaculate house, with all of the chores done and me actually eating healthily.

I dunno, it’s not really a major problem for me, but I can imagine that it would be if I had been diagnosed earlier, so I can’t help but wonder how many parents insist that their child couldn’t live without them, when they are actually holding their child back…

This is a kind of neo-liberalism of the emotions, in which happiness is seen not as a response to our circumstances but as a result of our own individual mental effort, a reward for the deserving. The problem is not your sky-high rent or meager paycheck, your cheating spouse or unfair boss or teetering pile of dirty dishes. The problem is you.

It is, of course, easier and cheaper to blame the individual for thinking the wrong thoughts than it is to tackle the thorny causes of his unhappiness. So we give inner-city schoolchildren mindfulness classes rather than engage with education inequality, and instruct exhausted office workers in mindful breathing rather than giving them paid vacation or better health care benefits.

capitalist: HUMANS DO NOTHING WITHOUT MONEY

average human: i am perfectly fine and functioning

me: OH YEAH??? WELL TAKE THIS!!!

AND SOME OF THIS

AND SOOOMEEE OF THIIIISSS !!!!

average person: OH NOOOO THE CAPITALISTS WERE RIGHT I AM DEFEATED. THERES NO WAY I CAN DEAL WITH ANY OF THESE THINGS IF I’M NOT PAID FIRST… AND I DON’T GET PAID TO DO THESE THINGS???? WHAT WILL I DO

me cackling: YOU THOUGHT.

  • Harry: Draco, why is the baby in the sink?
  • Draco: He needed a bath.
  • Harry: In the sink?
  • Draco: What? It's like it's his own perfect little bathtub. Teddy obviously likes it. Look at him.
  • Harry:
  • Harry: Maybe you could have at least removed the dirty dishes first?
  • Draco: And touch them with my delicate hands?
  • Viktor: Hey Yuuri, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  • Yuuri: I don't know. Did it hurt when I smashed this dirty plate over your head?
  • Viktor: You didn't smash a plate over my head.
  • Yuuri: Not yet.
  • Viktor: ...
  • BONUS
  • Yurio, watching Viktor vigorously scrubbing the dirty dishes: He's so whipped
  • Otabek, holding a juicebox up to Yurio's mouth: I know.

Fun Moments With Autism™ (*sarcasm*):

“wow you’re so rude”

“what are you upset about?”

“you have a serious case of Resting Bitch Face haha”

**

*only realizes social faux-pas 3 days later when someone points it out to me*

**

 [randomsong] (10 hours)

**
*paces around room, consumed w/ rage bc of minor change in routine* 

**
“why would i order something different to eat if i already know what i like??? what do you mean i’ve eaten the same 2 dishes for a month?”

**

me: *doesn’t understand innuendo/dirty joke*

friend: “omg you’re SO INNOCENT lmao”

**

me: *watching asmr, squeezing play-doh, touching random objects for hours, while playing w/ a mermaid pillow, flapping hands and jumping* ummmmm what is this stimming you speak of?

**

*overwhelmed by my burning love for my SpIn* … when will i be free…

**

relative: “we almost never talk. sometimes i wonder if you actually love me”

me: *confused and heartbroken bc i thought that my feelings were obvious*

**

“why are you so weird”

“you need to be more friendly”

“omg rou’re SO antisocial”

“stop doing this you look stupid”

“do you have photographic memory?”

“i don’t understand why you’re struggling w/ this it’s so simple”

**
*talks non-stop abt my SpIn* *only afterwards realizes that my audience might not care abt the thing as much as i do*

**
“what difference does it even make if the dirty dishes are close to the clean ones???”

**

*has to order something/have a ordinary social interaction/talk to someone* *practices what to say beforehand*

**

“why are you always in the dark? why do you have your phone/notebook brightness so low? don’t you know it’s bad for your eyes?”

**

*goes on vacation* *feels lost w/o the routine provided by school/college/extracurricular activities*

birdsinaline  asked:

So I have a hoarders nest of a room, is it better to clean the surfaces first or the floor? Because I really need some direction.

Work by category instead of location when you’re dealing with a big mess like this. Start with the stuff that has the potential to smell bad or attract critters. So, food/dishes, trash, dirty laundry, etc. You’ll likely find that stuff both on the floor and on your flat surfaces. From there, work by category, starting with the biggest: for example, deal with all of your clothes, if that’s what’s taking up the most space. Then move on to books or papers or hobby stuff, whatever is the next-biggest bulk. This will allow you to decrease the overall level of messiness and make the largest impact on the mess.

If you focus on one area or surface at a time, I guarantee you will end up with one really clean dresser-top oasis in an otherwise chaotic room, and you will be frustrated and tired after one or two areas not making things feel overall any better, and you’re likely to give up.

Zodiac signs as Katya’s quotes

Aries: Fuck my pussy with a rake, mom

Taurus: *thwoorp*

Gemini: I’m not wearing any pants right now and I feel good.

Cancer: You know I’m not going to fall asleep until you make out with me

Leo: 80% sexy 20% disgusting

Virgo: Why try new things, when you can try nothing?

Libra: Without dirty thoughts, there are only dirty dishes.

Scorpio: …Party.

Sagittarius: I touch myself so you don’t have to.

Capricorn: When in doubt, show them your asshole.

Aquarius: I feel confident, I feel sexy, I feel stupid.

Pisces: I don’t take anything personally, except most things.

PART 2

Memory Lane ft. Yoongi

Originally posted by allforbts

Drabble game #100: “I adore you.” 

grumpy husband yoongi au aka lots of fluff (mentions of sex)
→ 1.7k words

A/N: I recently had a realization that the way my blog is structured doesn’t really give me a great leeway to express my creativity and feels for the members at random. So this is the start to a really short series of drabbles for all of the members in super short (less than 2k) drabbles! To be continued! :) Hope you guys like it. 

more from this au: here, more drabbles: here


“You’ve got a wonderful wife there, son.”

Yoongi gives the elderly man a small smile and nods in agreement, clinking his beer can against his and tipping back the cold liquor into his throats with his eyes trained on you, a feat that happens quite often.

Often Yoongi finds himself just staring at you, in awe of how someone like you ended up with someone like him.

Your friends would describe you as sweet, bubbly, kind, selfless, and bright. His friends would describe you as “the light that shined in Min Yoongi’s horribly dreadful bitch ass life.” And although he always gives them a glare or just brushes their comments off with an eye roll it’s moments like these when he feels like the six dickwads’ words can never be any more accurate.

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The Arrangement (pt 5)

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

After having a quick dinner, you set the table with Jimin’s food and made your way to your room. You immediately started packing all that you could and all the while made a mental list of all the things you wanted to get at the store tomorrow before your in-laws would be home. 

Jimin came to the kitchen a little while later and he was expecting you to be sitting at the table, eating dinner. But instead, he found some dirty dishes in the sink and his food set on the table. He hated eating alone, but he got used to it at night. Sometimes you would eat with him for breakfast, but you only ever sat in silence. You had one friendly conversation after all these months, so nothing was supposed to change in your dynamic… right? He sighed as he pulled his chair out and sat down. 


The next morning, Jimin woke up to the sound of the vacuum. He turned to look at the clock and was surprised that it was already 9:30. Usually, he would have been at work by this time, but he had taken the day off in order to prepare for his parent’s arrival. He quickly brushed his teeth and took a shower in order to prepare for the long day ahead. He entered the living room a few moments later only to find it more clean than usual. You had always made it a deal to have the house clean, but everything was in tip top shape today. The magazines were all organized neatly on the coffee table and that vacuum patterns on the carpet were left to be admired. He looked up to your side of the house and found a few boxes outside. You exited your room a few minutes later, wiping off some sweat from your forehead. 

You hadn’t heard Jimin wake up and you figured you would just let him sleep in on his day off. You weren’t really sure how much help he would be anyways. 

“So…I guess I’ll move these boxes into my room then?” he asked, walking towards the first box.

“Oh. Uh, good morning. And yeah, that would be great, thank you” you said, thankful for the help. 

Pretty soon, all the boxes were moved into his room and you were almost done cleaning the house. You had been up since 6am, cleaning and packing and rearranging the guest room. You still had so much left to do though and you were tired just thinking about it. 

“How about you go unpack the boxes? I cleared out some space for you in the closet and in the bathroom” Jimin said. He could notice how tired you looked already, but the job had to be done. The act had to be perfect.

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  • Seokjin: *sigh*
  • Jimin: what's wrong?
  • Seokjin: the dishes are dirty but I don't want to clean up.
  • Jimin: I got you.
  • Jimin: Hey Jungkook! I bet you a white t-shirt you couldn't clean the dishes in under 5 minutes!
  • Jungkook: *burst in the room with his shirt tied around his forehead and bangs on his chest* WATCH ME HOE!
“More Than Roommates”

Request: I saw you asked for prompts. This one is pretty smutty. Can you do one where Sebastian and the reader are roommates and she comes home and catches him jerking off, which leads to more. Or if not Sebastian, then one of his characters. Thank you love your writing!

Pairing: Lance Tucker x Reader

Warnings: GRAPHIC SMUT, sub and dom relationship, little bit of fluff

Word Count: 2067

A/N: gimme a lance anon. i need it. i wrote this at school at someone stopped to read it and it was at the dirtiest part. 


Originally posted by blurredmelancholy

Lance Tucker was a pain to live with. He left dirty boxers on the floor and had no idea how to wash a dish. And not to mention the plethora of women he had exiting his room each night. He was your classic athlete. He could get all the girls and would never have to spend a night alone. Why you were living with him, you had no idea. He had been your best friend since you had moved to that small little town when you were six. You were there for him at every trial and you cheered his name as he won the gold and silver medals at the Olympics.

He didn’t know that you had a huge crush on him. You would never tell him. He wasn’t the type of man to do relationships. It hurt that you had to hear him fuck a different whore every night. None of the women he ever brought back were classy. In all honesty, they disgusted you. They sounded like pornstars or strangled ducks, but you still stayed with Lance. You would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.

You were not looking forward to the sleepless night ahead. Work had been kicking your ass and today your boss yelled at you for no reason. You didn’t even get to drink your coffee, which was the most tragic thing of all. You slowly trudged your way up the steps to your shared home. In no way were you ready for the night. All you wanted to do was pamper yourself, but Lance’s fuck of the night would probably ruin that for you.

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you know, I’m always saying how you shouldn’t move in together too young or too soon, but I actually think that Isak and Even moving in together fits Isak’s narrative quite beautifully? and like, I know i’m trash who could easily come up with at least ten reasons to justify them dropping out of high school to become organic farmers if need be (look at them and tell me their love wouldn’t water the crops), but after the way season 3 ended, this just feels so right? 

who knows if it will feel right tomorrow or next month, but that doesn’t matter because life is now. to me this doesn’t feel rushed, it doesn’t feel like a rash decision. quite the opposite, really. it feels in line with Isak’s realisation of life being now. sure they could wait and see a year or two until they’re older and no longer in the honeymoon phase, but during that time we might all get killed in some cosmic explosion and then the chance to experience how it feels like to wake up next to each other every morning rain or shine will be forever lost.

moving in together with your significant other is a major step. it’s not the same as shared housing. i’ve done both, more than once, and they’re not the same thing. it’s dirty dishes in the sink. it’s compromise. it’s disillusionment. it’s amazing and wonderful and exciting and comfortable, but sometimes it’s also boring and mundane and annoying. and even though it’s not something I would normally recommend a teenager do after just a few months of dating, I’m honestly so happy and so thrilled that Isak made that choice, because to me it’s a sign that his little speech about life being now was not just pretty words. he’s practicing what he preached, and it looks real good on him. he was positively glowing sitting on Even’s lap, so present in the moment, so present with his friends, caressed by the first sunrays of spring about to bloom, and seeing him that way, it just felt so right. life is now. if it feels right, let it.

Strength of Spirit- Part 1

Dean Winchester walks into your laundromat looking very much like your next one night stand. Instead, tragedy strikes, and you end up in the middle of a nightmare, with only Dean (and his brother Sam) to help you navigate it.

Warning: canon-typical violence

Word Count: 1800ish

A/N: It’s been a while since I’ve done a series that wasn’t just smut. I’m hoping we’ll all have some fun with it! XOXO


There was a thunderstorm in the air. The clouds were rolling in and you could feel the heat about to break as you hauled your laundry across the street. Your apartment building really needed its own laundromat. This one was close, of course, which was nice. But if it started raining, you were stuck there until it was over.

Still, you took a deep breath and grinned. This was your favorite type of weather, gray and still, something forceful brewing, something wild and unpredictable.

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Tipsy🍺

Summary: You’re just ‘one of the guys’ aka: “not considered an option by the guys”. And it hurts. Especially when it comes to your friend and crush Steve Rogers.

Or, Where a drunk Steve tries to break into your room at an ungodly time of night.

Author’s note: I know this has been long overdue😭,

also thank you so so so much for all the support and feedback you guys have been giving me on my imagines, it means a lot.❤❤❤As always feedback is much appreciated!

Warnings: insecurities, language, Steve being a hot ass mess


Steve rogers is a ladies man.

Well kind of a ladies man…The ladies came to him, he didn’t come to the ladies.

Two years ago you helped put the Avengers team back together and then joined it.

Three months after joining the team you realized you had a crush on Steve Rogers.

Nine months later you were in love with him.

A year ago Steve dated Sharon Carter for four months. And has been a ladies man  ever since.

“Damn he’s making a second round already?” Sam mutters under his breath. Bucky muffles a snort. You’re sitting at the kitchen countertop on a tall stool with Bucky and Sam on either side of you. The three of you are currently watching Candice “just call me Candy” Martin run her glossy pink nails up and down Steve’s arm. Steve’s blushing, but he doesn’t stop her. That’s the thing about Steve. He never makes the first move. The girls come on to him and he just blushes in that adorable Steve Rogers way of his and allows it to happen. Then he asks them out and of course they accept- he’s Captain America. You never knew women to be so forward until you had met Steve. They competed with each other for his attention and seemed to relish it.

First there was Candice Martin, the pretty pale and freckled redheaded agent.

Then Freja Hosk, the tall intimidatingly beautiful, Swedish ice blond medic.

Then Paisley Fisk, the gorgeous SHEILD scientist, blessed with flawless dark skin, deep dimples, plush full lips, and waist length braids.

After her there was Biyu Zhou the stunning Chinese agent, graced with an amazing body and a pretty face that always seemed to be flirting with you.

And these were the ones that Steve went on multiple dates with. There was no counting the amount of women he’d only gone out with one time. He’d seemed to have gone through the whole building.

Now it seemed to be back to Candice. You watch Candice give Steve’s arm a lingering squeeze before leaving the kitchen. Your heart twists and you look down at your cereal. You hate feeling this way. Especially for someone who would never feel the same way about you. You and Steve are close friends; you could even call him your best friend, after Sam. But to him you’re just one of the guys.

‘One of the guys’ ….you hate that expression. Because it’s always described you.

You’re not even lucky enough to be one of those cool ‘one of the guys’ girls, the ones that understand men and eventually have one of their guy friends falling for them. No. You’re just one of the guys because guys don’t even consider you a sexual option.

Steve calls you ‘buddy’ for pete’s sake.

Steve wanders over to the kitchen counter and pulls up a stool next to Bucky.

“Let me guess, hot date this Friday?” Sam asks.

“Yeah” Steve answers, stealing a blueberry from Bucky’s plate. Bucky halfheartedly swats Steve’s hand away.

“Man even I wasn’t getting this much action in my heyday,” Bucky chuckles. He reaches out and thumps Steve on the back. “Who woudda thought that Stevie turned out to be the biggest lady killer of ‘em all”

Steve shakes his head, and swipes Bucky’s coffee mug, draining it in one gulp. Amid Bucky’s protests Tony walks into the kitchen. His hair is sticking in all different directions and he has that crazy ‘I haven’t slept in 24 hours’ look in his eye. For about a week him and Banner have been hole-ing themselves in the lab with a few choice SHEILD scientists working on some secret ‘important project’.

“Rough night Tony?” Sam asks.

“Yeah,” Tony walks over to the other counter and pours himself a cup of coffee. “And not the good type of rough either.”

“But, even genius comes out of my roadblocks.” Tony sighs holding his mug in his hands and inhaling the coffee’s aroma .

“So you finally finished the project?” you ask.

“Nope.” Tony answers “But while I was trying to work on the project I got to thinking about Cap’s problem…well one of his many problems.” Tony chuckles to himself at his, and pulls something out of his pocket and tosses it at Steve. “And of course being the humanitarian I am, I solved it.”

“What’s this?” Steve turns what looks like a silver flask over in his hands.

“Next time you want to relax, try cracking this open with ice princess over here on a Saturday night. If it works properly you two finally won’t be the only sober ones on our poker nights.”

“Uh, thanks Tony,” Steve says hesitantly, tucking the flask away, but you know he’s happy. Steve’s confided in you many times that he wishes he just could let go, just not think about the fate of the world or what everyone wants him to be for once. He smiles at Tony and Tony flashes a smile back.

“No problem.” He downs the rest of his coffee and pops a piece of chewing gum. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m supposed to get brunch with Ms. Paisley Fisk,” Tony’s grin stretches from ear to ear.

“Never seen you so excited about brunch Tony,” You observe, taking a bite of your cereal.

“Brunch? I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about brunch. Now Paisley Fisk on the other hand…?” He gives a low whistle “I mean have you seen her?….And have you seen those knocke-”

You roll your eyes “Alright Tony, we get that you’re a dog. Move along” You interrupt him. Tony smirks and heads out the door.

“Did he just lick his lips?” You ask, but Sam’s too busy collecting the dirty dishes and Steve and Bucky are hunched together, probably discussing the flask, so you don’t get an answer. You sigh and head out, deciding to get some paperwork and training in so you don’t just lounge around all day. As you head down the hallway, a thought strikes you. Not once has Tony Stark, the famous playboy who would flirt with anything female with a pulse, flirted with you. Not one sly remark, cheesy pickup line or cheeky comment.

Damn I really must be ugly’ you think to yourself.  Heavy footsteps jogging behind you interrupt your thoughts.

“Hey,” Steve says catching up to you, giving you that dazzling smile of his.

“Hey” you respond, smiling back.

“We still on for movie night?” he asks

“Of course, I have three picked for you today,”

“Are the going to be as bad as the last ones?” Steve rolls his eyes.

You gasp in mock horror. “Steve Rogers. My movie choices aren’t bad.”

Steve pretends to think “Okay maybe one of them wasn’t bad.” You guys reach the training room. You push open the glass doors and enter.

“Was it the one that made you cry?”

Steve wraps his arms around your waist, effortlessly pulling you off the ground. He starts to muss up your hair. “Take that back! I just had something in my eye.”

“No! I’m telling the truth!” you screech, laughing. Steve starts to tickle you and you squirm. “Stop! Put me down!”

“Oh okay,” he says and makes as if to drop you, making you screech and cling to him. Your stomach hurts from laughing.

“Steve?” A high pitched voice cuts through your happy haze. It’s Candice “Could you spar with me a bit?” Steve puts you down, and you prepare to mask your expression, to smile and say you’ll catch him later, but when you look up he’s already walked away.


That Friday night starts out as usual. You hole yourself up in your room so you don’t have to see Steve getting ready to pick up Candice for their date. But today you don’t even have Sam to keep you from slipping into sadness because he’s out with his girl tonight too.

So you sit and stew .

Listen to sad music and cry.

Watch a sad movie that make your heart hurt.

Eat pizza and ice-cream and stew.

Look at pictures of Steve on your phone.

Zoom in on his biceps and cry.

And then you start thinking about how Candice is probably running her fingers through Steve’s hair, pulling him closer and kissing him. He’s probably wrapping his arms around her waist, and then you start thinking about how he’ll never touch you like that- he’ll never want to touch you like that. How nobody ever does- and then you decide it’s time to put yourself to bed.

 But you just lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling, thinking about all the beautiful women he’s dated and start comparing yourself.  You wish you could be pretty like them. Take their beauty and wear it like a mask- after all how else would  anyone ever notice you? You wish for once someone would see you, actually see the whole you and want you.

Just as your eyes are about to start watering your door shakes. It sounds like someone’s trying to break in. Reacting quickly, you grab your pistol from your dresser and approach the door. The door handle continues to jiggle.

Your mind boggles at who it could be, after all, what intruder would be this loud? And the compound is practically impenetrable, how would they have not set off any alarms? Still, your heart rate rises as you look through the peephole. When you spy a familiar head of blonde hair you huff and put away your pistol and open the door.

“Steve? Wha-“ Steve barrels past you, flicking on the lights and kicking off his shoes. He sways slightly, and turns towards you. You catch the strong scent of something then, like alcohol, but slightly off. He says your name, surprised.

“Wha-wha are ya doing in my room?” He says

“Steve this isn’t-“ you start, but Steve walks up to you and puts a finger to your lips.

“Shh- iss okay, ya can stay” he slurs slightly, and sits on your bed.

“Steve are you drunk?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

Steve giggles “Ya, To-nyyy’s stuff actually worked” he sing-songs Tony’s name. “I feel great” He says laying back.

You hold back a smile, and then a terrible thought crosses your mind. “Steve, where’s Bucky?”

“Oh don’t worry, old Buck’s in his room. Out lika light” Steve snorts “Lightweight.”

You shake your head, wondering what you’re going to do with him, when the sound of movement on the bed makes you look up. Steve’s already stripped off his shirt and is working on his pants. You want to say something- you should stay something, but you’re too distracted by the flexing of his abdominals as he peels off his jeans.

“Steve” You hiss, you don’t think you can say much else. Not when every muscle in his body is standing out in sharp relief.

Steve looks up and smiles widely at you, patting the place next to him. Steve really must be gone. Normally he would be three shades of red if you even mentioned seeing him shirtless. You hesitate for a moment before crawling next to him.  He wraps a well muscled arm around you and pulls you close. It feels so nice you don’t even mind the stink of alcohol on his breath

“So” you scramble for something to say. “How was your date?”

“Terrible,”

“Oh really?” you ask. You decide to try to fish details out of him. “Candice is very beautiful”

“Yeah not really my type.” Steve snorts.

“Oh?” your fingers decide to do their own thing and start tracing the ridges in his forearm. “What’s you type then?”

Steve’s silent for such a long time you start to think he’s fallen asleep. But then his fingers grasp your face, squishing your cheeks together. He looks down at you, and his big blue eyes look like languid pools of water.

“You. This beautiful face of yours.” He replies. Your heart pounds and you will it to stop. He’s drunk. In the morning he won’t even look at you let alone want you.

“Stop playing Steve,” You turn and start scooting away.

“I’m noooot” he whines, and hooks an arm around you, pulling you to his chest. You try to squirm away but he’s got you in an iron grip “You’re so beautiful Y/n” His large calloused hand caresses your face sloppily.

“Oh really?” you say, trying to keep the bitterness out of your voice. “Why haven’t you said anything before?”

“’cause ya won’t let me.” You feel lips at press at the back of your neck, and you have to stop yourself from squeaking “Come’on y/n….just give me a chance… just one chance. I promise I won’t mess it up. I’ll tell ya that you’re beautiful every day…” He kisses your earlobe and sets your skin on fire “I’ll treat you right. I promiiisee. Why won’t you give me a chance?” his voice turns whiney again. He’s suddenly too close, too much and you squirm out of his embrace. He makes a hurt noise in the back of his throat and you hush him, turning off the lights.

“Let’s go to bed Steve.”

“Ooh I like the sound of that,”

“If you don’t shut up…” You snap, feeling your way to the bed. Once you’re under the covers Steve locks you in his embrace again, almost crushing you. You lay on his chest, his warmth enveloping you, your mind racing a mile a minute. Then Steve’s hand slides up your body and starts rubbing your back and you slip off into sleep.


When you wake up Steve’s gone. Your heart drops, but after laying in bed for a bit you decide to confront him. You pull on your favorite pair of high waisted jeans and an over-sized cropped sweater. You look at yourself in the mirror. ‘At least I can look good while getting rejected.’ You head into the kitchen and are greeted with the sight of a busted looking Bucky being served breakfast by Sam. You pause for a moment to scoop a muffin from the box on the counter and to admire the architecture of Bucky’s hair, half of which is standing straight up, the other half is at a 90 degree angle.

“So I take it Stark’s concoction worked?” Sam asks, arranging pancakes on a plate. Both of their backs are to you, Bucky sitting at the kitchen counter, Sam in front of the stove top.

“Yeah,” Bucky says, voice rough, “Who woudda thought Stark could make that good stuff?”

Sam chuckles “So you and Rogers have a good time last night?”

“Ya, well until Steve started getting whiney.” Bucky snorts.

“What?”

“Buck, why doesn’t y/n like me? She’s so pretty Buck I can’t take it, why doesn’t she liiike me?” Bucky mocks Steve’s voice. “After that I decided to go bed. I get enough y/n talk when I’m sober.”

“Really?” Sam pries, and you smile, Sam knew about your little crush, and like a true friend was fishing for more information.

“Yeah, he’s such a wimp, I always tell him just to make a move-“ Bucky cuts him self off “Sam ya better not tell y/n about this…I swear”

Sam turns around, pancakes in hand “Don’t worry-“ He looks up and meets your gaze “I won’t have to” he laughs. Bucky looks up at Sam and then turns around. He groans.

“Y/n, how long have you been?- Actually nevamind, obviously  long enough. Just do me a favor and don’t tell Steve about this? He’s an absolute madman when it comes to you….” Bucky grumbles, pulling his hood over his head.

“a… madman?” You ask walking up to the counter.

Bucky snorts. “Yeah he practically beat Stark’s ass after he overhead him saying something slick ‘bout ya.”

You lock eyes with Sam. “Go get him tiger.” Sam smiles at you. You wipe your palms on your jeans and turn to head out.

“Word ta the wise, check the roof.” Bucky calls out after you.

You find Steve sitting on the roof, staring off into the distance. His hair is still messy but he’s wearing a clean white button down shirt, and tan pants with those suspenders you always secretly find adorable on him.

“Steve?” you call out hesitantly “Can we talk?”

Steve’s head whips around and his eyes widen. He then massages his temples with a groan. He must be suffering from quite the hangover.

“You don’t have to say it y/n, let’s just forget last night ever happened.” Your heart beats faster and you gather up the last of your courage before it completely slips away.

“Steve-what you said…did you mean it?”

Steve groans again, dropping his head into his hands.

Yes.” He says quietly.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me Steve?”

“Why should I have?” he gives a defeated chuckle. “Ya already rejected me,”

“What?” Your mouth drops in disbelief and you walk up and stand next to Steve, looking down at him “When? When did you even ask me out?”

Steve looks up at you “What do you mean? I tried after every upstate training session.”

Your eyes squint as you think back. A little over a year ago the team met upstate for a four days to train at this specialized facility and test out new weapons. You think back some more.

“You just asked me to ‘hang out’ after those sessions.” You say incredulously, “Not on a date”

“But that’s how people date nowadays.” Steve looks confused.

You laugh “No, not really. And anyways after those training sessions I was so  disgusting that the last thing I wanted to do was go get ice-cream and marinate in my own sweat  for a few hours”

“But all tha other girls took ‘hanging out’ ta mean a date” Steve looks even more confused.

“I guess nowadays ‘hanging out’ can imply a date, but most of the time it still just means hanging out. At least to me” you mutter the last part “Where’d you get this idea from anyway?”

Steve’s ears turn pink “Uh Bucky”

You eyes practically roll out of your head “Steve! You know he only thing Bucky knows about dating is from those stupid teen drama shows he’s obsessed with.”

Steve’s face turns bright red “I’ll have ya know Bucky was quite good with the ladies.”

You can’t help but to burst out laughing. After you calm down you sit down next to Steve. “You going to Bucky for advice on dating is like the blind leading the blind”

Steve chuckles, wiping a hand down his face. After a moment you pause.

“Steve, why’d you practically date the whole building instead of just telling me.”

“I dunno. I guess I just thought you’d already rejected me so I didn’t want to push the issue, and still wanted to be your friend. So I just thought I’d try to find someone else…” he turns his head and looks at you “But damn it Y/n it’s impossible to find someone who even comes close to ya…” His gaze takes your breath away so it takes a moment for you to respond.

“I guess that’s a good thing then…cause I feel the same way about you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah” you laugh and you feel like you’re flying because all the baggage, all the pain is starting to unload. “And if you hadn’t been so dumb and listened to Bucky you would have known a long time ago.”

Steve smiles widely and wraps an arm around you, the other hand caressing your face.

“So. You wanna go on a date with me?”

“Yeah” You pretend to consider it, and then lay your head on his shoulder “Sounds a lot better then just hanging out.”


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