dirkzombie!jake

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J. Cole - Everybody Gotta Die

J.Cole is going to go down as one of the greatest hip-hop legends in history. How do I know? If he died right now, that’s exactly what he’d be remembered as. Mark my words.

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J. Cole - False Prophets (Be Like This)

This is much more intelligent and thought out than a mere diss, this is an extremely honest, factual, and prevalent commentary about Drake and the legend Kanye West and their respective failures as artists and icons.

Things I love about B99

- Jake Peralta
- Jake Peralta’s tiny bits of chub in season 1
- Jake Peralta’s fluffy hair in season 1
- Johnny and Dora
- Rosa’s smiles
- Amy being a dork
- The faces people make in the background
- All of Holt’s gay/rainbow paraphernalia on his desk
- Kevin and Ray
- Cheddar
- Jake Peralta
- Gina
- Terry and yoghurt
- More Jake Peralta
- When Holt makes a joke and no one laughs
- BINGPOT
- When Holt shouts something out of context
- Ginas dancing
- Jakes roleplaying and undercover stuff
- Peraltiago
- The ‘Jake Peralta is Bisexual’ Theory
- Holt not understanding modern things
- Terry and his kids
- Jake and random children
- Charles shipping Peraltiago
- Jake in general

SOMEONE NEEDS TO SLAP ME AND TELL ME TO CALM THE FUDGE DOWN.

BECAUSE ALL I CAN SEE HERE IS JAKE AND CASSIE GOING TO A HOTEL TO INVESTIGATE THEN HAVING TO GO UNDERCOVER AND GET A ROOM. 

AND CASSIE REALIZES THEY HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE A COUPLE TO KEEP THEIR COVER. BUT HE’S TOO EMBARRASSED TO SELL THE LIE. SO CASSIE HAS TO JUMP IN WITH A KISS ON THE CHEEK AND, “JAKEY, HONEY. THERE’S NO NEED TO BE SHY. WE’RE HERE ON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY… SORRY, HE’S NOT QUITE USED TO HAVING A GIRLFRIEND, YOU KNOW?” *PATS HIM SOMEWHERE (HEAD? ARM? SHOULDER? CHEST?!?!????? *sorry I blacked out for a second what was I talking about?*) 

AND HE JUST STANDS THERE TURNING DEEP RED, AND SHE HAS TO LOOK AWAY AND HIDE HER EMBARRASSED LITTLE SMIRK AS SHE DRAGS HIM AWAY BY THE HAND. 

And he just stares at her with a dead expression before flapping his hands about and asking, “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?” 

Of course, she’d apologize and explain that she thought she had to sell it bc he was obviously uncomfortable having to pretend to be dating her.

“NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I– THAT’S NOT! –I MEANT THE pART ABOUT ME…” *lowers voice, but still emphatic* “not being…used to having a girlfriend.” (yeah sure. that’s totally what you meant, Jake)

“Well I mean, are you? You never really talked about dating anyone.”

“That’s not the point.”

Cassie just rolls her eyes with a smile. And they carry on with the mission.

AND I WOULD LOVE A SCENE WHERE THEY GET TO THEIR ROOM anD IT’S LIKE “PLEASE LET THERE BE TWO BEDS” THEN THEY OPEN THE DOOR AND “OH GREAT.” IT’S ONE BED. AND HAHAHAHAHA I’M OKAY.

JAKe STONE ON THE FLOOR GRUMBLING THAT THE FLOOR IS AS HARD as a ROCK. AND JUST GRUMPY JAKE STONE NOT DEALING WITH HIS REPRESSED EMOTIONS AND HAVING TO FACE THEM. pLEASE TV WRITERS PLEaSE. BONUS POINTS IF THEY STARTED THE EPISODE WITH A TIFF BEFORE BEING FORCED TOGETHER.

LIKE BRING ME THE FAKE COUPLE TROPE. MARRIED. DATING. I DON’T CARE. GIVE ME AWKWARD FAKE COUPLE.

SIGN ME UP. I WANT IT SO BAD IT HURTS.

8

And the Reunion of Evil (3x03)  A routine artifact retrieval is anything but when the artifact grafts itself to Cassandra. Meanwhile a blizzard forces Stone and Cassandra to take shelter at a mysterious hotel that is hosting a demon convention, who want the artifact for themselves.

And the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (3x04)  After seeing a vision of her own death at the hands of a supernatural assassin, Baird tries to cheat fate and stop the deadly prophecy from coming true.

And the Tears of a Clown (3x05)  The Librarians investigate a mysterious traveling carnival where they discover the sinister secret of a magician corrupted by the use of real magic.

And the Trial of the Triangle (3x06)  In order to stop the spread of Pure Evil, the team must find the Eye of Ra and unravel the mystery of The Bermuda Triangle. Flynn must also pass a series of tests that will help him find the eye and reveal a great deal about himself.

And the Curse of Cindy (3x07)  The obnoxious Cindy Kroger has suddenly become super-popular thanks to a magical love potion. The Librarians must stop her before she launches a love missile that would force the whole world to become her fan base.

And the Eternal Question (3x08)  A rash of people spontaneously combusting leads the Librarians to a holistic spa run by vampires, who have discovered the secret to walking in the sun.

And the Fatal Separation (3x09)  When the Monkey King’s sacred homeland of Shangri-La is taken over by a ruthless collector of magical artifacts, the balance of the Universe is put in jeopardy, forcing all the Librarians to come together to help save the imperiled land at what could be a terrible cost.

And the Wrath of Chaos (3x10) The Librarians’ two-front battle comes to a head when the Library is simultaneously infiltrated by DOSA and Apep. Flynn, Baird, Stone, Cassandra, Ezekiel and Jenkins must all put aside their differences in an attempt to save the Library, the world and themselves.