a quick retraction

i’d like to apologize for my recent post where i made fun of known tumblr user courtney ‘egberts’ most by referencing her interest in the popular homestuck pairing of john x dave. 

despite this, courtney has also been a long time pioneer and supporter of a cause i myself am very fond of (dirkjohn) and deserves all of the respect that being a dirkjohn shipper entitles one to (very, very little)

things homestucks in 2017 will understand

- this cat is GAY and there’s nothing you can do about it
- dirkjohn is CANON
- vriskan is VRISKANON
- vriskanrezi is also canon??????
- your ad here: $700.20
- classpecting
- askblogs. so many askblogs.
- HIVESWAP
- admageddon
- oh hey look bloodswaps are popular now
- all the discourse is on dirkjake and vrisrezi
- HIVESWAP
- 6/12
- “HUSSIE ITS BEEN 4 YEARS GIVE US THE GAME”
- but really when is hiveswap coming out
- “knights are an active class”
- “pages are a passive class”
- kanaya is a furry
- *any character* is a furry

ive seen a few “dirkjohn but johns an asshole ghost who haunts dirk” but none of the reverse which is wild bc theres so much potential

imagine john moves into what used to be dirks old apartment bc its ridiculously cheap for some reason (hint: dirks dumb ass forgot he left a sword in the fridge. several swords. just an avalanche of fucking swords okay.)

its all on the up and up for john until he starts seein weird shit out of the corner of his eye, just quick motions he cant process

he chalks it up to rats or something and tries checking the vents for evidence of a pest problem, but all he finds is this creepy blue-eyed puppet with a big ass chain round its neck. he throws it out the window like a reasonable human being

“guess it was nothing!” he tells himself and maybe he believes it

dirk was tryin to do his ghastly biz before, but throwin cal out? that felt personal. he retrieves it and places it next to john when he sleeps. he tries to make his soft muppet-like hands flip john the bird but he cant figure out how to make it stick so he resolves to just hold him like that

so john wakes to a spectral shadow hovering over a nasty puppet flipping him off. at first hes screaming, then hes slinging the thing across the room while screaming, then he realuzes theres a ghost here and hes still screaming, and finally he realizes theres a fuckin ghost in his apartment and he goes silent

then he screams again and scrambles for a ouija board he keeps under the bed in case of ghosts

he busts that shit out and goes for the hard hitting questions straight away, “is ectoplasm real? can you slime me?”

dirk can only answer one way really, “F…u…c…k…y…e…s.”