all i can say is…. wow. its incredible to finally have this done, i never imagined i would be working on it for this long. but even then it’s been a ton of fun, from writing the script to laying out the panels to deciding which red paint splatters should go where. thank you so much for bearing with me all this time. and now that this is finished, there will be more au stuff to come!
“No Free Candy! The money raised from the $0.25 per piece of candy sold goes to help us fund a charity that helps find missing/abducted children. Please, ‘NO’ FREE SAMPLES!”
Was typed on the bright colored sticker on the lucite clear box that had tabs on the very top to hold the charity organization’s card (rescuing missing/abducted kids, for ours), a lockable money hopper with a coin slot on top and “$0.25” on the lid with the slot (my boss even photocopied a quarter, cut out the image, and taped it next to the coin slot), and on the bottom was an open compartment stocked with Jolly Ranchers, Peppermint/Spearmint wheels, individually wrapped Starburst squares (taken from larger wrapper), individually wrapped Now & Laters, individually wrapped spherical candies that are either sour, very spicy hot, or change colors and shrink as you suck on them. We had Tootsie Rolls but nobody wanted those as much, so we quit stocking them.
I worked at a business and the candy box was up front, where I worked. I would politely remind anyone dipping into the candy for free that those cost $0.25 a piece, whenever I had the opportunity (i.e. not busy helping customers and other primary duties). My coworkers did the same thing, and so did my boss. Even a couple of customers called out these cheapskates, though they weren’t as polite about it, and made no bones about shaming these cheap thieving jerks.
But people still kept taking free candy from the honor box, without paying! How low can you get taking money away from an organization that helps kids!? My boss definitely gives the money from the sales to the organization (less the cost of candy). However, more and more people just took free candy or they underpaid by putting pennies, nickels, or dimes in there. One guy, God Bless him, put a $20 bill in there yet only took a couple of pieces of candy. But for every guy like him or even a person who put in $0.25 for a piece of candy, there were two dozen assholes who either took a freebie or simply underpaid.
The assholes who took freebies or underpaid drove really expensive cars, dressed really lavishly, didn’t spend much money in the business, were VERY rude and demanding, and yet take candy without paying from a charitable cause.
My boss had had enough and said “The 'Honors System’ doesn’t work when too many people have no honor!” So he paid, out of his own pocket, to replace the little “Honors System” candy box with a good quality gumball machine like, coin operated dispenser. He got it from a website from a company that has been making and selling these since the 1980s, in America.
The coin operated gumball machine is capable of being bolted down to the counter (my boss did that), it has barrel locking mechanisms on the top clear plexiglass compartment for the candy, a well designed hopper and dispense mechanism to effectively distribute one piece of candy per quarter (works brilliantly), and is set to take quarters only, and the money compartment is safely behind a locking metal door behind the coin drop and turn mechanism, easy to empty out. My boss taped the organization’s cars to the top part (square “globe” where the candy is filled), and the machine cannot be fooled by slugs, coins on strings, or lower denomination coins. You can’t even fool it with foreign currency (one jerk tried to use an Albanian coin to try to steal a piece of candy).
After that, the candy theft stopped, and my boss was able to properly raise the funds to aid this charity.
But seriously, fuck cheapskate customers who think it’s okay to take a piece of candy for free despite the fact it says you have to give $0.25 for each piece of candy in order to fund an organization meant to help kids (or anyone, for that matter), especially when they are driving high end cars and dressed to the nines. If you can afford fancy clothes and expensive cars you can spare $0.25 for a piece of candy.
fact: blaise zabini’s mother is an icon, a quintessential femme fatale. emerald colored liquid satin dresses stretching tight across her hips, black birdcage veils, tinted nylons, and poisoned hollywood red lipstick have become her standard attire for funeral parlors, collection of life insurance payouts, and sunday service. her musky scent intoxicates every suitor when she leans close. her head tilts sideways with interest as she traces her nails delicately along the pulse points of a flushed neck, and her signature bee sting kisses leave mouths swollen and trembling. she has perfected the craft of making admirers feel loved without the asphyxiating word ever dripping from her lips.
every authority that questions the tragedies surrounding her, promptly falls victim to her seduction. they are left drowsy and speechless upon hearing her purr in a silky, lightly accented voice that she is merely a grieving widow.
evenings are spent reclining on a divan beneath a swarovski crystal chandelier, velvet robe open just enough to reveal the curve of a heaving bosom and the swell of a soft thigh. her deep rich skin glows in the candlelight and dark curls tumble over a sharp shoulder. she dips candied cherries into a glass of champagne and hums along sweetly to the record player’s smoky crooning. vengeance and sadness glint in her eye as she plots how she will dispose of the handsome businessman slumped near her freshly polished toenails.