How the signs die in a Jurassic Park movie
  • Aries: Tried to shoot a dinosaur; made it angry; got stepped on
  • Taurus: Helicopter got crashed by pterosaurs
  • Gemini: "I'll be right back!" *anguished off-screen screaming & blood splatter*
  • Cancer: Yelling attracted dinosaurs
  • Leo: Used themselves as live bait because they were like 90% sure they could outrun the dinosaur (they were wRONG)
  • Virgo: You just HAD to go back for the damn embryos, didn't you?
  • Libra: Picked up and dropped in water by multiple flying assholes until the mosasaurus finally ends your suffering
  • Scorpio: Tried to team up with velociraptors wtf man
  • Sagittarius: Ignoring the gigantic fucking RESTRICTED AREA signs
  • Capricorn: Nameless mercenary who would be very efficient in any non-dinosaur setting but is in fact in a dinosaur setting so got jumped in tall grass
  • Aquarius: Picked the WORST HIDING PLACE on the ENTIRE ISLAND
  • Pisces: Fell into the water with the damn mosasaurus