dinner with sydney

The obligatory dinner Sydney had to attend was boring. Uneventful, full of people who’s personalities were as complex as a plastic bag. Everything about that evening was fake: the ambiance, the laughter, the smiles, the relationships. Thankfully, glasses of champagne were served throughout the entire night and Drew was absent. He had an emergency at work and Sydney was glad to urge him to go. As the blonde was indulging in what seemed to be her sixth drink, Melanie showed up. She wore a dress, which was definitely unusual but nonetheless, she looked beautiful. While people wore accessories and designer gowns, Melanie wore a simple black dress that made Sydney run to her to hug her. “You look beautiful.” She spoke, kissing the other’s cheek, as close to her lips as possible.

The escape from the evil retirement village!

More from the old people’s campaign documenting our escape from the formal dinner.

  • Sydney is the retired professor of theology and dabbler in the arcane arts.
  • Paul is our retired pastor and brawler.
  • Bill, retired mechanic and boat enthusiast
  • Rick Sanchez as Rick Sanchez :|
  • Daisy as the sneaky forgetful old granny with a Zimmer frame.
  • Timothy Jenkins ancient adorable man in a wheelchair we helped escape/kidnapped (NPC)
  • Jericho our mad tinfoil wearing conspiracy theorist guide (NPC)

We were having a formal dinner with the head of the retirement home giving a speech.

Head: Thank you all for being here today, etc (speech things, we weren’t listening IC or OOC)

Sydney: Does this man know who I am? I have tenure!

Paul: Does he have tenure?

Sydney: *rolls dice* This man doesn’t have tenure!

“Loud bird call from Jericho”

Paul: The signal, we must ready the distraction!

Both Paul and Rick roll their dice.

Rick throws Timothy, a wheelchair bound frail old man with a heart of gold <3

Paul tries to throw the table and fails.

Paul: What, it’s not my fault it’s bolted to the floor! Rolls bluff and fails.

DM: Everyone watching knows that it isn’t.

Sydney: Down with the bourgeoisie scum!

Paul: Fuck the commie bastards!

Bill: Excuse me gentlemen, I’ll catch up with you later. *Stealthily leaves during the chaos.*

Bill then goes to the computer room and with some amazing rolls manages to get to google after typing “www.how do i get to google? .com” in the Bing search bar. He’s looking for krankstarter, that site where people give you money. He eventually makes it to kickstarter and somehow sets up a page to fund the escape. He sets the goal as 7-1 against Brazil.

Meanwhile Paul and Sydney have left the dining room to make their escape. Daisy and Rick are leaving with Timothy slightly behind them.

Paul and Sydney get into a fight with an orderly, but brass knuckles and a few magic missiles sort that out quickly.

Sydney: I have tenure bitch!

We all meet up outside by the storage shed to salvage equipment (find lawn mowers and and leaf blowers)

Bill: If we use these we can try make a vehicle to escape. We’ll use Timmy’s wheelchair too!

Jericho: Do it quickly the orderlies are coming!

Rick: I’ll help!

We build the contraption and realize we can’t get it through the door.

Bill: Be free my device!

We set it free, into the wild. In the direction of the orderlies and escape through the door to freedom.

Sydney: I have tenure!

I may continue this at a later stage, the rest of the escape was amazing. I’ll definitely do the helicopter fight.


Stuffed bison with minced tomatoes. Simmer for 19 hours on broil for a simple but delicious dinner.