dinner sisters

10

Some time ago, our brother Branwell became involved with a married woman. Somehow that two-bit hussy Jane Austen found out about it.

All For Show

Valentine’s Day Special #2

Pair : Steve Rogers x Reader

8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. Requested by anon. 

Warning : Language

Word Count : 2,434

Three knocks, that’s all it took before Steve opened the door. He stood there, wearing a tank top and sweats, and his hair damped from sweat, which only meant he just came back from the gym.

“Hey, didn’t expect you here today.” He smiled, waving you in.

“I know, but I needed to talk to you.”

You walked in to his apartment, and plopped down onto his couch. His place was like your second home. You were always there, and if you weren’t, then you two were at your place.

“Beer?” He asked, walking to the kitchen.

“Nah, just water.”

Steve tossed you a water bottle, as he started back toward the living room where you waited.

You took a big swig of the water and felt the cold liquid trickle down your throat. Making you feel somewhat at ease.

“So what did you need to talk to me about?” Steve asked, leaning against the wall across from you.

For some reason you were feeling nervous. Which was strange. Steve was your best friend. You two were so close, you were able to talk to him about anything. He’s seen you in sweats with no makeup on. He’s helped you when you were a drunken mess. And yet, you were somehow nervous about this topic.

“Y/N.” he snapped his fingers, catching your attention. “You okay?”

You slowly nodded, running your hand through your hair. Something you did when you were nervous.

“So my sister is throwing a couples party tomorrow night, and when I RSVP’d a month ago, I was dating Jared-”

“The asshole.” He cut you off.

“Woah, language.” You teased.

He dramatically rolled his eyes and huffed. “Anyways, go on.”

“As I was saying, I told her I’d go and now she’s expecting me to be there.”

“So?” He drawled out.

You swallowed hard, meeting your best friends gaze.

“I was wondering if you can go as my fake boyfriend.” You slightly winced as the words finally fell from your lips.

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Got7 2016 Experience

So out of popular demand here’s my meeting got7 experience on the weekend in toronto.

Warning this post will contain lots of swearing and will be long if you love got7, I suggest you read this. this is my complete got7 experience this weekend. Also will contain lots of very hyped up me.

okok so I went to koreatown in toronto to finish my got7 album collection so I just needed to buy identify and just right. I didnt know got7 were in toronto yet either. By the way I didnt go to koreatown assuming they were going to be there either because of that one time jackson was like why would I visit china town???
so me and my family go next door of the kpop store and go eat some korean food, the night before the toronto fanmeet. So we are about a half hour into our dinner when my sister was like oh look at this waiter hes kind of cute, and as I’m looking for the waiter, I see this guy looking around the restaurant for something and as his head turned, I saw his sideburns and high nose bridge and I asked my family like jokingly “is that kim yugyeom?” as everyone laughed I fuckin realized it was him, and I stopped breathing and just sunk into my booth so much I was almost underneath the table.
so as yugs is still looking around, and im still dying, fucking markson walk in together, and decide to sit riGHT FUCKING NEXT TO OUR TABLE.

So as I’m fuckin dying, 5/7 stroll the fuck in and sit their asses down, I’m almost crying at this point, And Im like if I dont talk to them Ill regret this shit.

aND FOR SOME FUCKING TRAGIC DRAMA SHIT THAT WAS THE DAY I FUCKIN DECIDED TO WEAR MY SEVENTEEN SHIRT REMEMBER THIS INFO COMES IN HANDY LATEr.

ok so on with the story, we walk over with our jr albums in hand and we’re like “were so sorry but if you wouldn’t mind could you possibly sign this?” and mark being the ever living sweetheart was like “will you guys be leaving soon?” In my mind I was like bitch I’d stay all fuckin day if you asked me to, so we replied no and he was like okay we promise to after dinner then.
so after we die the whole dinner.

WhICH BY THE FUCKIN WAY LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT HOW GOD DAMN REAL MARKSON IS.
okok so the whole night jackson was showing them all memes an shit and everytime he laughed by the way, a baby is born, and at one point in the night he was like smooshing mark s face with his chest and kept hugging him, and held his hand throughout dinner ok Im emo.
aLSO JINGYEOM ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER JINYOUNG HAD HIS ARM AROUND YUGYEOM THE WHOLE NIGHT WOW

so when they’re done dinner their manager comes over and is like “they can sign them now” and I’m lIKE FUCK I AINT READY.

so as we drag our asses over to their table mark grabs my sisters album and begins to sign it and jackson being the asshat he is finally notices my sweater and was like “seventeen eh?” And my mom next to me is like oh fuck and slams her hand against the logo on my cHEST by the way is lIKE NO. NO SEVENTEEN. I SWEAR YOURE HER UB GROUP.

and then my worst nightmare happens. jackson wang starts roasting me. but in korean. which I dont speak. to my top two biases. yugyeom and jinyoung. and although jinyoung didnt respond. yugyeom did. and he’s my ultimate bias. And I think I almost cried.

but anyways they make up for this shit later.

So after jackson continues to roast me he’s like “yah I’m friends with the chinese member.” As in singular so I’m like wait which one, junhui or minghao??? and then he fuckin waits a hundred years and goES “oH hao” like he forgot his name😂

so when my album gets passed around yugyeom stares at me the whole time smiling and I’m like ok I’m dying now and then jinyoung signs it at the end and paSSES IT DIRECTLY TO ME. and goes “here you go” in enGLISH and i’m like “ohmygod thankyou” and thEN HE HALF BOWS and goes “no thank you”

by then I was shook in half™ but then it got worse.

cAUSE AS I LOOKED AT MY ALBUM AND MARK PUT A HEART NEXT TO MY NAME aND YUGYEOM PUT ONE NEXT TO HIS NAME aND DIDNT PUT ONE ON MY SISTERS ONLY MINE
sO I ALMOST SCREAMED.
by the way the fucker jaebum was pissing the whole time so he didnt sign it. love you still.

and yj and bb were at the hotel.

so after I got no sleep that night I was already meeting them tommorow at their fanmeet so I was like ah fuck they’re probably not going to remember me but oh well.

so after we check into our hotel in toronto the clerk was like oh who are you going to see, we’re like oh got7, she was like oh and thEN SMIRKED AT ME. anD I WAS LIKE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

(Turns out we stayed at the same hotel)

so fm time, the performance is over and I’m like I gotta check to see if they know who tf I am.

so as I roll up on stage I’m like “jACKSON” and he looks around real confused and then he sees me makes a even more confused face and I’m like “seventeen eh?” And theN HIS FACE JUST BRIGHTENS UP AND HE YELLS NOT TALK BUT YELLS BACK “SEVENTEEEEEEENNN”

and Im like fuCK SHIT SISMFP1NXmaoxnk1inejJdknzq. he remembers me.

but then I become further shook I dont know if this is gods way of tellin me I belong with yugs in life but my ass got placed in front of yugyeom on the chair, and I look up at this beautiful angel and he looks down and smiles so brightly at me and goes, I shit you not “heeey, I remember you”

AND I STOPPED BREATHING COMPLETELY.

CAUSE MY SHOULDER WAS BARE AND I HAD A HALTER TOP ON AND HIS HAND TOUCHED MY BARE SHOULDER AND CARESSED IT AND I’M GONE.

SOSO GONE

AND AS I GET UP I PASS THE REST OF THE AND BB HI FIVED ME AND MARK WENT LIKE WOAH AND THEN I LIKE STUMBLED DOWN THE STAIRS

so this was my lit got7 experience.
I now have an inside joke with jackson wang.
and I’m besfriends with got7.

also congrats if you read this all.

At Christmas Dinner....
  • My older sister: *drops something* чёрт! (Literal translation of and actual swearword: Devil!)
  • My grandmother: let's not remember the Devil on this beautiful, holy night.
  • Me: *slowly turns off phone* *the last lines of a smut samifer fanfiction blink out of existence*
  • Me: yeah, let's not. *laughs nervously*
2

(Requested by Anon)

You tensed when two cold arms slithered around your waist from behind. “If I was an enemy I would’ve gotten the jump on you.” A familiar voice whispered in your ear.

You relaxed in his hold and tilted your head back to look up at The Major. “Well good thing you aren’t an enemy.” You smiled and pecked his lips. “What are you doing here anyway?” He was supposed to be hunting with Emmett for the weekend and it was only Saturday. You didn’t expect him until Sunday. It was safe to say you were very surprised.

The Major rested his head on your shoulder, rubbing his thumbs along your sides. “I missed you ‘s all. Is that a crime?” He ran his nose over the column of your neck, causing a shiver to run through your body. “Not at all, I just have to make dinner for my sister.”

When you moved for the door, you found yourself held back by his arms. “Jazz?” You looked at him in confusion, earning yourself a grin from him. “Problem?” He asked, drawing the question out teasingly.

“Yeah, why aren’t you letting me go?” You patted his hands in emphasis. He brushed his lips over your cheek and shook his head. “Y/N, I’ll never let you go.” The way he said it sounded so sweet and sincere, so different than how The Major usually sounded. It made you think well maybe my sister can have cereal. Because you didn’t want him to let you go for a second.

There Comes a Train (Part 1)

Title: There Comes a Train

Pairing: Newt Scamander x fem!reader

Other Characters: Leta Lestrange, Tina Goldstein, Queenie Goldstein, Jacob Kowalski

Word Count: 1872

Warnings: (TRIGGERS) angst, death, depression, hallucinations, suicide

Summary: Leta Lestrange surprises you all when she pushes through the door begging Newt to come back home with her. Threats are thrown and you defend your friends. However, you face some consequences.

A/N: Hello Fantastic Beasts/Harry Potter fandom! This gets a bit dark so read the warnings… But enjoy!

~~~

She came back for him that night.

You remembered the way her name rolled off his lips; in surprise and want.

Leta barged into the Goldsteins’ apartment after dinner with the sisters and Jacob. She begged your Newt to leave with her immediately, to go back to England and catch up there. She hadn’t had any regard to his new friends, waving them off when Newt had tried to introduce them.

You were flooded with relief when your boyfriend refused, unable to leave you and his friends behind so quickly.

But Leta couldn’t accept that. It was when she pulled out her wand and threatened you all that your blood really began to boil. You were already seething beneath your cool visage, but to put your new family at danger… well, now you were just a force to be reckon with.

Your wand slipped from inside your sleeve and was then obscurely grasped in your clammy hand.

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why aren’t there any hance fake dating AUs like… it would work so well?

one day at the dinner table, lance’s sister starts teasing him about how he has no lover and lance just blurts out “I AM DATING SOMEONE” and everyone just goes silent and when lance realizes what he has done it’s already too late. “who?” “… hunk.” they all just gasp and like “I KNEW IT” “DIDN’T YOU CALL HIM BABE ONCE” “IS THAT WHY HE SLEPT OVER SO MUCH IN THE PAST FEW WEEKS”… no they were just buds chilling but now he has to introduce hunk to his family as his boyfriend and lance thinks that he ruined a beautiful friendship… except that he didn’t, he just initiated a cheesy love story between him and hunk. 

Sunday Dinner with the Family
  • Sister: are you sleeping with Marek?
  • Other sister: he's obviously sleeping with Josh
  • Dad: the three of them clearly take turns with each other

little team voltron headcanons

  • lance tries to bond with shiro over the fact that they both instinctively snap their fingers when jamming to a song with a good beat even though lance isn’t embarrassing like shiro when he does it. shiro takes offense that lance calls him embarrassing. the bonding opportunity is lost
  • keith can’t clap to the beat to save his life
  • he also can’t whistle
  • lance and pidge take great joy in this
  • however pidge has the worst rhythm out of everyone
  • “wow, you’re almost as bad as keith!” – lance, moments before getting slapped upside the head
  • hunk is really good at keeping rhythm because repetitive beats help him stay focused.. they allow him to get lost in his work as opposed to lost in his own head
  • pidge, shiro, coran and allura can all do the two-finger whistle. allura learned from coran; shiro learned from pidge
  • hunk is the only one who can whistle tunes accurately. lance constantly begs him to whistle the beat to that one flo rida song. hunk prefers the disney robin hood intro theme
  • lance wolf whistles at everyone on the team but only when he catches them in the middle of doing something supremely unattractive
  • he once caught keith picking his nose and whistled. lance hasn’t told anyone about it but he also refuses to let keith live it down
  • allura compulsively taps and flexes her fingers when she listens to music
  • she also bops her head, not always to the beat, it’s distracting but cute
  • coran is an expert at ballroom dancing
10

Patriot’s Platter - Roasted Turkey Breast, Pot Roast, and Sliced Tavern Ham with Mashed Potatoes, Seasonal Vegetables, and Herb Stuffing; with Johnny Appleseed’s tart for dessert, from Liberty Tree Tavern located in Disney’s Magic Kingdom.

All that matters (Peter Parker x Reader) (Part II)

Part 1: http://imaginingspiderman.tumblr.com/post/145750740393/you-deserved-it-peter-parker-x-reader

You had just made it home, ignoring your mother’s voice calling you for dinner, ignoring your little sister asking you what was wrong. Everything was wrong. Peter was stupid. He was going to get himself killed one day, and he didn’t even care. Did he not realize that you were scared for his safety? How would Aunt May react if she ever found out that her little boy was dead because he had been fighting crime?
You rushed into your bedroom, wanting to just lay on your bed and sleep all day. But when you got there, you saw Peter sitting there, still wearing his Spiderman suit.
‘Look, I’m sorry. What I said was wrong. I-I realize I haven’t been spending time with you anymore, and that makes me a horrible friend. I know. It’s just that I have been so busy lately. I know that’s no excuse -I wasn’t there when you needed me, and I regret it. I wish I had. I understand that you are worried, but you have to understand that I do it for a reason. I-I can’t risk having what happened to Uncle Ben happen to somebody else. I still feel guilty about knowing it was my fault. I could have stopped it, and I didn’t.’ Peter said. He sounded so genuinely hurt that it pained you to see him like that.
‘Peter, I understand. But you have to understand that I worry about you. I can’t help it. You are my best friend. You are everything I have. If I lost you… God, if I lost you, I would die. You… You are the reason I want to go on everyday. No matter if I have a rough day, you are always there to brighten it up with your smile and corny jokes. I can’t help but worry about you. Last year, you were just a scruffy little boy that didn’t know how to punch. And now you are fighting crime, swinging off of buildings and expecting me not to worry. It wasn’t your fault, Peter. The fact that bad people exist isn’t your fault. Yes, maybe you could have stopped it. But that doesn’t mean it was your fault. I could have stopped my dog from being run over by a car if I hadn’t let him out. But that doesn’t make it my fault. What happened to Uncle Ben was horrendous, but it was the man’s fault, not yours. You have to realize that. You are an amazing person, Peter, and that’s the reason-that’s the reason I love you.’ You said, tears in your eyes. Knowing your best friend still felt guilty hurt you.
You hadn’t even realized you had confessed your love to him until you felt his breath so close to your lips. His hand on your cheek, eyes looking directly at your lips. Looking up at your eyes, he softly said ‘can I?’, and didn’t even give you the chance to nod before softly kissing you, making the butterflies your stomach had been holding for so long fly free.
He was there, with you, and that was all that mattered.

The theme “revelation” made me think of Angelica’s line so have this uh… adaptation.


[POE]
The police asked about Agatha Christie

[LENORE]
The police don’t need to know

[SHELLEY]
If I die here, my readers will miss me

[ANNABEL]
Like he said, you’re free to go

[LENORE]
But — look around, look around, the
Dinner Party’s happening at Poe’s house

[EMILY DICKINSON]
It’s bad enough someone wants to kill us

[CHARLOTTE]
Authors dropping like they’re flies

[ANNABEL]
It’s bad enough there’s been violence in this house

[LENORE]
Time to say our last goodbyes

[ALL]
Look around, look around—

[LENORE]
I’m lookin’ for a mind at work
I’m lookin’ for a mind at work!
I’m lookin’ for a mind at work!

[HEMINGWAY]
Whoo! There’s nothin’ like dinner at a party
Someone in a dress next to someone feelin’ arty
Excuse me, miss, I know it’s not funny
But your perfume smells like your daddy’s got money
Why you at that loser Poe’s house in your ghostly getup?
You hot for some new author who can write a good setup?

[LENORE]
Ernest, you disgust me

[HEMINGWAY]
Ah, so you’ve discussed me!

[LENORE]
I’ve been reading War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
So you can say I’m just a girl or a creature from hell
You want a revolution? I want a revelation
So listen to my new oration:

[LENORE/DOSTOEVSKY]
“All unhappy families are different;
All happy families are equal…”*

[LENORE]
And when I meet Leo Tolstoy
I'mma compel him to include GHOSTS in the sequel!

[GEORGE ELIOT]
Look around, look around at how
Lucky we are to be alive right now!

[POE/ANNABEL]
Look around, look around at how
Lucky we are to be alive right now!

[ALL]
Murder mystery is happening at Poe’s house and we just happen to be
In the greatest dinner party in the world!
The greatest dinner party in the world!


*okay that is a VERY loose paraphrase of the opening of Anna Karenina, but I’m working with what I’ve got here!

I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since Buffy the Vampire Slayer was released. That show meant so much to me growing up, and it still does. Time to do a bit of rewatching, I think.

Today, I fucked up... by using a bath bomb

A recent return to the gym after surgery had me really sore and I decided to take a bath and soak my muscles. My wife buys bath bombs that you put in the water and they fizz and usually release something like aloe, peppermint, etc….

I’m soaking in the hot bathtub and decide to try one of the 5 bath bombs in a container next to the tub. I settle on a peppermint one called “cooling peppermint”. What can go wrong?

Well, this thing is fizzing away rapidly and I start to notice little flakes in the water. The damn inside is filled with red and gold glitter. I got out, the dang glitter is so fine, it’s all over me from the neck down. And we’re supposed to go out to dinner with my sister. It’s 91 degrees and my arms are covered in glitter and we tried like hell to scrub it off, but I end up wearing long sleeves and jeans and burning up. I look like I went to a failed academy for strippers.

TL/DR: used a bath bomb filled with glitter. My hairy ass is covered in fine glitter.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

I made a very delicious cake for my daughter Marcela’s commitment dinner. But unfortunately my younger children are very gluttonous, so they ate almost the entire cake. But luckily—and forgive me God!—my daughter’s fiancé got measles, which he caught from his little sister. The dinner was canceled. And I’m immensely grateful to the Virgin of San Juan because the parents of the fiancé are very stiff and haughty and I didn’t know how to deal with such an embarrassing situation.