dinner on the porch

Trashy child, trashy mom, trashy yard!

Okay so buckle up as I unwind a marvelous tale of revenge, lust, betrayal and MURDER! Okay, maybe just some petty revenge. On mobile.

Now look here. I live in a nice residential neighborhood. We are the only college students in a sea of families. Because of this I make a point to be respectful to these families. No raging parties, just the occasional bonfire. Not midnight screaming match with the boyf. No loud sex noises. All in all, best college neighbors ever.

However, there is the one woman who is always just a jerk. About once a calender season, her and her boyfriend have screaming matches in the street between 2-4am. And I don’t mean they fight for 2 hours straight and I could walk out and yell at them. I am the kind of person who would do that. Instead they fight, usually about her cheating??? Then walk a few blocks down, I fall asleep then they come back just as I drift off. But you know what, I don’t know her life. I let it slide.

But this dickfuzz of a woman also has a child. She yells at him a lot but never at night. Again not my problem. Until yesterday. Little heathen is prancing around my yard picking dandelions. Cool little man, do you. But no, I forgot this SOB is a the hell spawn that even Satan didn’t want to own up to making. Out of nowhere kicks the full trash can awaiting pick up into my yard.

This is not a bump oh noooo situation. Little beast flat round house kicked it sent everything flying. I was in clear view on the porch at this point enjoying an after dinner coffee and I rightfully contain any swearing. Instead I say, “what are you doing? Pick that up!”

Not even a sorry as the kid dashes away to his house. I get up to cross the street to knock on his door and Noone answers. I know his mother is home, her car is there and TV was on. But hey, maybe not. I’m not breaking down the door to find out. I pick up my trash and toss it back into the can and continue on with my night.

Little did I know, the boyf threw out the cat food my cat didn’t like. I was unaware it still had food in it, which then scattered into my yard. Cue me waking up the next morning getting ready to rush to class when BAM trash EVERYWHERE!!! Just as the garbage men drive by with a apologetic look.

As I look sadly at the scattered dreams,  a neighbor sitting on her porch calls out. Said she thought she had heard raccoons last night then a bang. This is very likely since there was a trail of cat food leading up to a treasure trove of raccoon snacks. Well, time to skip class to clean up since I’m being watched.

Now my boy and I cook a lot. We always throw out our left overs from the week on garbage night. Last night when I cleaned it up it was still a bit cold. But now, it has been baking in the unseasonably warm can and has festered. Nasty gross uck. Plus it has to go back behind my house until next week. Suddenly the kids mother appears and starts outright whining about how college kids are so inconsiderate, never take care of their yards, litter, ect.

Okay. Losing patience, but maybe she didn’t know. I calmly explain what happened yesterday and how it most likely factored into the events of the morning. (Never had raccoon problems ever) I didn’t even solely blame her kid, even though it only happened because of Deathwing  Jr.

She just goes on a tiraide about how it couldn’t be her flame imp of a child. How my yard always looked like this and I was just trying to blame it on her kid. (Like really? I’ve always had bacon fat crusted boxes hanging out in my yard?) And how she’s glad someone finally made me pick it up but if I don’t stop involving her child she would report me to the HOA. (Uh, we don’t have one? ) She proceeded to complain as crossed the street while unfortunately not being hit by a car.

Alright. Long fuse, big bomb. I silently pick up the rest of the crap and ignore the neighbors comments about what a horrid woman she was. Instead I begin plotting.

You see the trench swan has a baby. And I see her take out the trash at least once a night, with what I am assume are stink bombs of diapers. As soon as night falls I enact my plan. I grab a handful of cat TREATS! Racoon go bonkers for them. And make a small invisible trail to her trash can in the alley. I even prop open the lid with a stick. I’m barely out of sight when I see the first set of reflective eyes.

This morning I was woken up much happier at 7am to her screaming about all raccoons needing to be shot. (Hey now, they’re just trying to eat.) Take a peak and they had not only thrown the dirty diapers and other trash all over the alley but also dragged it all over the right side of her front yard. Took her 2 hours to clean up after the hour of complaining while standing in dirty diaper scent range hoping a neighbor would help her. Eventually made the kid come out to help, (why is he not in school, like it’s a freaking Thursday) now he knew, but there isnt a damn thing he can do about it. Just gave me the evil eye while i sat on the porch. That was a good cup of coffee.

I will continue to do this every few nights until the next trash day. So maybe a solid more times. Plus, raccoons get a nice snack. I just hope I remember to bring snacks next time.

TLDR; Brat knocked over my trash can, I cleaned up but raccoons knocked it over again due to his roundhouse kick. Mom then complained about the trash in my yard as I was cleaning it up. Baited their diaper filled trash for prime racoon attack. It worked. Diapers everywhere. Got to watch them clean up.

Note: if they put out traps I will cancel the plan and disable the traps. No need for our furry scavengers to get hurt.

UPDATE TIME: Tried to do it again last night. Wanted to scope out the area. Diner squall is sitting on the porch in the dark muttering in the dark to her boyfriend? I haven’t seen them throw out any trash yet. No sign of raccoons either. Will update when I see them throw out something and reenact the plan.

LAST UPDATE: So I’m too busy to maintain this thread or my revenge. My petty fire has died. Saw her throw out a diaper genie bag last night. (Ew) called on the coons one last time. Was messy as hell when I went to bed at 1 last night. Cleaned up the morning. For good measure when I saw her come home today after my classes she looked dead tired. I am amused. Goodbye!

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Summary: Adult Henry and Regina have a talk the first time his adoptive daughter tells him that he’s not her father.

——————-

At thirty four years old Henry Mills knew that he’d never fallen in love with anything quicker and harder than he had for his daughter.

He’d never planned to adopt. It hadn’t been a goal or even a thought in his head at the time but the minute he’d laid eyes on her he knew. She would be his and he would be hers forever.

He’d only been twenty-three when he first met her mother. Barely out of college when they’d ran into each other but he easily became enraptured with her warm, honey-colored eyes and melodious laughter. Luisa had been her name and it was only on their third date that she’d first told him about her daughter. Naturally he’d been shocked and a little apprehensive but still undeterred. A few months later she’d finally let him meet her, her little Olivia. Dark chocolate eyes and chubby red cheeks, she’d wrapped her tiny finger around his and he knew there was no going back.

A week being a part of their lives taught him more about love than an entire lifetime of reading and writing about fairy tales.

Twelve years and a wedding later they’d still been blissful. He truly thought that he’d found his happily ever after. But of course he’d forgotten the most cardinal rule of life.

It’s often more tragic than you expect.

A car crash stole Luisa away from them. One irreversible moment and suddenly he found himself standing over her casket, surrounded by family, his hand holding onto his daughter’s.

It would only be the two of them from now on.

A fact that Olivia appeared to struggle with.

She missed her mother, that much was clear. And Henry tried as hard as he could to give her a safe place to grieve, a place with him but she’d pushed him away. They used to be so close but she wasn’t talking to him anymore, she wasn’t talking to anyone. Isolating herself from her friends and family. He made excuses for her and tried to give her space, but things came to a head one afternoon when he’d gotten a call from the school saying she’d never shown up. After hours of searching for her only for her to come home and walk past him as if nothing had ever happened he couldn’t help it. He lost it.

Within seconds they’d enter a screaming match and before he’d even seen it coming she’d yelled the words he knew he’d never forget.

“WHAT DO YOU CARE?! YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY FATHER!!”

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Valentine’s Day Shorts

Hers a list of headcannon type things of what the Sidemen + others would do with their significant other’s on Valentine’s Day. Hope you enjoy!

Originally posted by meowkisu


Miniminter

  • Takes you out to a nice restaurant
  • Triple checked that the reservations were set
  • When you get to the restaurant the person working at the front knows him because he called so many times
  • Pulls your chair out for you and is super gentlemanly

Tbjzl

  • Tells you you’re going out to a restaurant
  • Surprises you and makes a homemade traditional Nigerian dinner
  • The boys have left the flat so it’s just you and him
  • Candle lit
  • Flowers
  • Really nice conversation about several topics

KSI

  • Is really nervous when he first asks you out
  • Takes you to a nice restaurant
  • Takes you back home and you snuggle in comfy clothes
  • Watch some Netflix

Zerkaa

  • Decorated the house for you
  • Hid little sticky notes around the house saying nice things
  • Was really lovey-dovey all day

Behzinga

  • Takes you out on a lunch date
  • Since it was less crowded you could have a better conversation
  • Laughed a lot
  • Was overall just a really nice meal
  • Hung out the rest of the day

Vikkstar

  • Stayed up all night writing down reasons why you love each other
  • Put the strips of paper in a wooden box
  • Put the wooden box in the back of a closet so you can find it some day after you forgot about it

Wroetoshaw

  • Harry made reservations but they ended up being canceled, to his dismay
  • End up settling for takeout
  • Played FIFA and made bets and forfeits
  • It might not have been a “traditional” Valentine’s date but you couldn’t have asked to spend it any other way

Lewis Redman

  • Decorated your bedroom with balloons
  • Brought you breakfast
  • Spent all day in bed watching movies and TV shows
  • The only time either of you got out of bed was to go get more food

ChrisMD

  • You two had a day trip up to the Lake District and had the cabin to yourselves
  • Kicked a football around some on the fields
  • Found a way to get up onto the roof of the cabin at night to look up at the stars

Calfreezy

  • Spent the day out walking around London shopping and eating
  • Bought each other gifts
  • Went to a park to see the sunset and look out at the stars
  • He gave his coat to you when he saw you shivering

Callux

  • You started to teach him how to play piano
  • It was full of him apologizing for getting frustrated
  • He gave up in the end
  • You made a compromise where you would play piano and he would sing
  • Sometimes he would sing horribly on purpose just to make you laugh

FifaManny

  • He invites you over for dinner
  • You get there but Manny isn’t home
  • Instead you find a riddle that starts you on a scavenger hunt
  • You finally catch up to Manny who’s setting up dinner at the start on the back porch 
This Feeling.

A/N: GIF NOT MINE! Now I give you all PART 4 OF WHITE BOY! ENJOY!

WARNING: CURSING YOU KNOW HOW SHAMLESS IS LOL

Part I: White Boy

Part II: Fucking Gallaghers

Part III: Is She Telling The Truth?

You awoke in your bedroom staring at the ceiling trying to find an answer, was she telling the truth? Did her and Carl really hook up again? You turned over to your side trying to close your eyes and get the imagine out of your head but it kept on going like if it was stuck on repeat.

Just the image of Carl and Dominique in bed together, it hurt you and you couldn’t fully understand why and before you could try and make up any reason you heard a soft knock at your door which caused you to turn and then it was wide open revealing a white- your white boy with his hair all in a mess, he combed it back and smiled at you.

Seeing him smile, it warmed your body but you didn’t want to accept the reasons why this white boy did so much to your mind and heart. “Carl, just got out of work?” You asked watching him take off his shoes and lay in your bed “Yeah, I’m exhausted. You know I miss you being in school.” He said placing an arm under your neck laying straight with his face looking at your plain ceiling “I miss doing something with myself, doc says I’ll be good for school next week.” You said looking up at him hoping for him to make eye contact with you, but nothing. “Good, I’m lonely without you (Y/N/N) I need you.” He said pulling you closer to his side.

This shocked you, it was the first time you and him had done anything physical since your kiss in the hospital but you didn’t object to the contact because you craved his warmth and comfort, for some odd reason this little white boy made you feel safe. “You need me? Or my petty attitude towards certain females?” You asked rolling your eyes and this time Carl looked straight at you cupping your face with his other hand gently “No (Y/N) I need you, you’re my only .. friend and I need someone who’s going to keep it real with me hundred percent.” He said kissing your forehead softly “Well the hair is truly your best asset, and the smile.” You said winking at him laughing causing him to laugh “You don’t know how good it is to laugh with someone.” He said as he began to play with your hair gently lacing his fingers around your hair.

You laid your head on his chest and began to listen to his heartbeat which was bringing you closer and closer to sleep, until you allowed your body to fall into a deep sleep which is exactly what the doctor ordered. Nearly ten minutes had passed until Carl finally realized that you had fallen asleep, he smiled and continued playing with your hair as he heard his phone buzz continuously and when he finally gave it and grabbed it with his other hand being careful not to move he realized it was Dominique who was calling him he declined her call and laid the phone back on the nightstand.

“You like her don’t you?” He heard a voice coming from the door causing him to jump a little, once he realized it was your brother he relaxed and began to stroke your face with his finger “My heart tells me yes but my mind tells me I’ll never be worth it. She’ll only see me as a friend but I appreciate you helping me out.” Carl said to your brother. Him and Carl had made a deal because your brother saw the way Carl looked at you when he would pick you up from school so your brother took it upon himself to approach Carl and make the plan that worked out beautifully in the end.

“Man, you can’t be that blind. She’s got a little something something for you man. She’s a girl who doesn’t take much interest in people but she’s fond of you, so that means something. I mean hey, it’s up to you both but don’t hurt my baby sister man she’s gonna need someone to protect her when I’m not here.” Your brother said leaving the room and making his way downstairs. Carl then looked down at you as you snuggled into his body causing him to wrap both of his arms around you.

“Damn (Y/N) it wasn’t suppose to be this way man. Fuck. Why’d you have to be so fucking smart, talented, kind, sweet, beautiful, caring, awesome. Fuck! I was suppose to get back him Dom for fuck sake but then you came and changed my whole life around and all you did was call me White boy. And now here I am at your side, gaining more feelings for you (Y/N). In school I think of you, at home I think about you, at work I think about you, fuck, you’re right next to me now and I’m thinking about you. What the fuck man.” Carl said softly trying to not wake you up but trying to collect his thoughts “If this is what loves is then I’m completely fucked.” Carl said kissing your forehead one last time before gently sliding his body away from your wrapping you up in blankets and leaving your house while walking to Kevin and V’s place.

He pounded on the door “Kev, I need your help man!” Carl yelled but when the door opened it was V he saw standing in front of him “Kev is busy Carl, you get me. What’s up little man?” She asked gesturing for him to come inside once Carl walked in he didn’t see the twins, he put two and two together and realized Kev was with them “I need help, but you have to promise not to tell Fiona or try and be slick and tell Kev.” Carl said sneering at her because of what she did last time.

“Are you in any trouble?” V asked full of concern “No, for once it’s not about trouble it’s about feelings that I’ve been having.” Carl said fiddling with his hands no feeling comfortable talking about his situation with anyone but he needed to know what he was feeling. “Go on.” V said leaning back into her couch watching Carl’s actions and face she knew what was happening to him before he even told her what was going on but she let him speak.

“There’s this girl (Y/N) who I was using to help me get back with Dominique because I really wanted to be with Dominique again, but I feel differently when I’m with (Y/N) than when I’m with Dominique. This shit is confusing. I love being around (Y/N), I like her smile, her laugh, her hair, her jokes, her intelligence, her caring heart, I like everything about her. When I’m with her I just want to keep her next to me forever, I feel invincible when she’s around me like I could be anything I want to be. Yet with Dominique it’s all about our history, how we started, what we did, what she did, what I did for her but she never appreciated a damn thing I did. Fuck she even cheated on me so why should I want that bitch back.” Carl said crossing his arms.

“You shouldn’t be calling no woman a bitch but I guess that little harlot is a bitch.” V said looking at Carl “Carl, you’re so young but it’s sounds like you’re in love. Everything you just said is exactly how I felt when I started dating Kev, have you told her you like her?” V asked with interest “No because she’s so stuck on the idea that I was only using her which I was but it’s so different than that now.” Carl said sighing running his hands through his hair “Fuck, why does this have to be so hard.” Carl said softly to himself before looking at V and giving her a hug “Thank you.” He said before leaving and walking to his house but when he reached the doorstep there was someone he wasn’t expecting on it.

“Carl, you left your sweater.. but I kinda got cold on the way here so I put it on” (Y/N) said smiling at him and before she could say anything else Carl dove in to kiss her softly on the lips “Looks better on you honestly. Keep it.” He said grabbing her hand helping her up from the porch “Want to stay for dinner? Foods probably going to be shitty but it’s better than nothing.” Carl said in a hopeful tone that she’d say yes. When she nodded he smiled warmly “Great, you get to meet the rest of the gang.” Carl said opening the door allowing her to step in first when he saw her walk in and watch Liam grab her hand he knew she would fit well in this functional dysfunctional family.

“I’m home guys! I brought a good friend of mine!” Carl said before closing the door behind him. If she could survive a night with the Gallaghers maybe she could survive a relationship with one, but only the night would be able to tell.

Jealous

Inspired by the first verse of the song “Jealous” by Labyrinth. 

@inunanna @grapefruitwannabe @mustardyellowsunshine @keichanz @dreamer-of-the-wandering-suns 

for you guys.

Set during the three year separation.


Thunder rolled in the distance as the married couple settled in for the night. “It’s fixing to storm..” Sango muttered, looking worried at the noren as she tucked the twins into bed, their identical faces completely at piece for once. Sitting back on her heels, she her right hand was drawn to her pregnant belly as if my a magnet, mindlessly caressing the mound. 

Miroku sighed, setting the cast iron pot on its hook to dry. “You know how he has gotten with the rain recently.” he smiled reassuringly, trying to mask his own worry and calm his wifes. He always worried about his silver haired companion. Especially when it rained. 

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4

10 Youtubers You Need to Watch

By Alayna Zevallos.

1. The Fashion Citizen

Steph and Mel, or smell and punk as they call each other, are Scottsdale, Arizona based twins. Their videos range from fashion based lookbooks and awesome thrift finds. They have such a witty sense of humor, and they post what they call, “semi daily-ish vlogs” which consists of their day to day work life and Starbucks trips that last four hours for editing, and more. These vlogs may showcase the same routine, but they are very amusing. 

 2. Moon Clique

This channel that was once a duo, is now run by Elena Taber. Most of her videos consist of killer look books ranging from groovy 70s style to 90s fashion. The setting of her videos is right outside her West coast University that gives all the great California vibes. My personal favorite of hers is her Groovy 70s Lookbook-the song and outfits together are unbeatable!

3. Exploring with Josh

Now, Josh has his own channel, but is apart of a friend exploring team whom have all their own channels as well. Josh has such an upbeat and energetic personality, not to mention his adventures are amazing to watch. From places across the world like abandoned drug dealers mansion or an abandoned Japanese theme park, to the beautiful terrains of Bali. Trust me, the minute I found his channel, I became obsessed.

4. The Lineup

Best friends and roomies Julia and Maya, I LOVE these two girls from Stockholm. They have killer fashion sense, and their videos have great editing that I wish I could accomplish myself. You can get outfit tips and ideas from styling puffer jackets, to what to wear on a night out. Their monthly favorites videos are my go to’s to watch.

5. i-D

When I first heard about i-D, I was intrigued. It is not a typical comedy youtube channel, nor fashion or beauty youtube channel. On this channel you can find a heap full of videos interviewing different people and subjects from all walks of life, and you learn so much from. Whether you’re meeting girl skaters, learning about Lil Yachty to Vivienne Westwood, or getting emerged into Icelandic hip hop, this channel has a ton to offer.

6. TOMBOYISH

Ari Fitz is the creative mastermind behind this channel that is different from the fashion norms you see on youtube. Ari Fitz’s channel is dedicated to tomboy fashion, and it is phenomenal. The diversity in style is amazing. The prom fashion videos she has done are so different and so cutting edge on tomboy fashion, and she gives such a different perspective from the typical “tomboy.”

7. Conan Gray

I cannot praise this boy enough. If you haven’t seen or heard about him and his channel, you are not living. Conan has to be one of the most creative souls I’ve ever heard about. From singing songs in a tree to his thrifting tips to chatting while painting or drawing, (which he is so beyond talented at), he gives off such a wonderful aesthetic and you feel like you are in the room with him. Also, do yourself a favor, and listen to his original song and music video, “Idle Town,” you are going to fall in love.

8. Anthony Quintal

Formerly known as Lohanthony with his “Lohanthony’s videos of the wee-ee-eek,” is now grown up and changed, and I like it. Ever since the new year his styles of videos are different than what they use to be. He now, only posts once a month, and those videos are vlogs. But they aren’t your typical vlogs or daily life videos. They are creative masterpieces of compilations of footage from his life mixed with shots from movies, shows, etc. I am loving the innovative feel his channel is giving off, go check out his latest stuff!

9. Sweet Potato Soul

I am so glad I found this vegan channel! Jenne Claiborne is a professional vegan chef and now youtuber. She has some of the greatest soul food vegan recipes to offer. I love the way she films how she makes the food, it makes you want to go to your local grocery store and whip up some tasty vegan treats. She has such a warm manner, you feel like she’s your neighbor inviting you over for a calm Sunday evening dinner on the front porch. Check her out, she will convince anyone to go vegan!

10. Erik Conover

This male model serves some great traveling vlogs. Whether it is about his life in New York City, or traveling to Bangkok, he makes any place a video worth watching. His thumbnails alone attract you to watch his videos, whether its the back splash of a Songkran Festival or a thumbnail of scuba diving alongside a turtle, you won’t want to miss any of his traveling videos. Also, he has really nice looking hair.

Hope you all enjoyed reading and check out these great youtubers and their channels!

x’s and o’s,

Alayna

How to Listen to Jonghyun's Story Op. 2
  • *Press play on album*
  • Lonely: make a really nice dinner. cry while eating it by yourself.
  • 1000: swing on a porch swing while studying the intricate delicateness of a tiny flower. look at the sky every 3 minutes. ideally by a river.
  • Just Chill: wait till it rains, then open the window. bop around your house w a glass of wine and groove casually. refill wine as necessary.
  • Love Is So Nice: lean on your porch railing and sigh a lot while watching your hot neighbor do yard work
  • Blinking Game: dress in your fanciest clothes and lounge near a piano while remembering your past lovers fondly. sway along w that sweet smooth bass.
  • Elevator: open a bottle of wine. drink it all and imagine you're flying. or in the middle of the oceans. or space.
  • Let Me Out: turn the lights off and the music loud. sink your teeth into that sick beat and *feel* it. let that high note drop you.
  • Fireplace: light some candles. or a um, fireplace. pour yourself something strong and just lay on the floor. tap your toes to the high percussion. 1, 2, 3, 4.
  • Our Season: take a walk through your neighborhood w your headphones in. smile pleasantly at people and think about how your life choices have been pretty ok actually. pause atop the hill that overlooks your town and reminisce a little while the wind blows your hair.
2

A Thousand Silhouettes - Part Three

Summary: The last thing Brandon Stark remembered was darkness, and it was darkness he woke to.

Brandon Stark survives King’s Landing with scars both physical and emotional. The world as he knew it has changed, and at the center of it all is a bastard boy with his mother’s eyes.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Gen
Fandoms: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Relationships: Brandon Stark & Lyanna Stark, Brandon Stark & Ned Stark, Jon Snow & Brandon Stark
Tags: Brandon Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, (just in case), Platonic Relationships, Family Dynamics
Chapters: ¾

Read at AO3, or read here:

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Tattoo

Part of a new AU series -  Keep Calm and Love

Negan x reader (y/n - your name)

You need a job. He needs a new artist. You both need each other. But will it work?

2600 words

Warnings- Sexy aesthetic, Negan language, unprotected sex, hopefully not too tame for Negan Smut Week!

Want on or off my taglist? Just let me know!

@mypapawinchester @kijilinn @may85  @mamapeterson @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @negandarylsatisfaction @rapsity @strangersangel9 @wickednerdery @hannibalssweaters @ladylorelitany @angelak72081 @scarygoodfanfics @superpinkkcat @gageef @ericas-negan77 @miss-nori85 @ali-pennell @smuttwd @purplejellybean @concertxjunkie @magical-spit  @jotilpip @thedeadwalks @negantrashlucille23 @johnthackerys @pandainfinitely @xdaddy-neganx @almostinwonderland @myheart4ever47-blog @lauryphelps1d @texasgal2222  @rizflo-blog @catleesi-xo @negans-network @negansmutweek   @melodicdolls @ohmyneganimagination-twd  @kitcat44

I apologize if I forgot to tag you, Just let me know with a slap aside the head! And @#% Tumblr won’t tag everyone, I’m sorry!

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Nick Carraway would listen to heavy metal and rock and that sort of music. He wouldn’t address it, ever, but if someone mentioned it he would nod along and offer up some titles and band names. Sometimes, when Gatsby would look down at Nick’s house, he would see Nick. He’d be sat there his sweater vest and tie, on his porch, happily eating dinner and nodding along happily as some hardcore electric guitar solo blared out of his speakers.

I’m like 100% positive that when Jack visited Georgia for the 4th of July both Mama Bittle and MooMaw fell in love with him, and not because of the charming accent or his slammin’ hockey bod but because of his ability to just inhale food.

Like after Jack finishes his first generous helpings of potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans, and burger complete with all of the fixings, Mama Bittle and MooMaw plop themselves across from Jack in the shade. They both fuss over him, telling him that there’s plenty of food for seconds and thirds and to help himself.

So Jack stands up with his festive red, white, and blue paper plate and disappears for a few minutes before returning with an extra plate in his hand. Both women look over his plates with a wide smile; one plate was piled high with all of the different sides, and the other plate was holding three burgers and two hot dogs.

The two women chatted eagerly as they fanned themselves and sipped at their sweet tea, watching Jack with lovestruck eyes as he tucked into his plate quietly.

When dessert time comes around everyone serves themselves but Mama Bittle fixed up a plate especially for Jack with extra helpings of everything, which he absolutely demolishes in minutes.

After Bitty finished helping clean up dinner stuff he found Jack rocking on the front porch swing, his head tilted backwards, and his eyes closed.

“Mama get to you?” He asked with a small smile, sitting down next to him.

All he got in response was a soft, “Mhm”.

Of Swordplay and Horse Riding

CHAPTER 1
Katakura Kojuro/MC
NC17 Smutty Fic

CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 2.5



He looked at her, “I might hurt you. No, I know I will hurt you.”

“Kojuro-sama, you taught me swordplay and horse riding, I have known pain from you and I survived.”

“This,” he ground himself against her, making sure she felt the full extent of his raging arousal, “is an entirely different kind of swordplay and horse riding.”


A smutty Kojuro Fic. Kojuro/MC. Takes place after the Echoes of True Love story event in the game.I might be planning a second part, explicitly PWP smut to follow, wish me the luck and the courage to write it!


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Fresh Start - Moving Day

A/N: This is the second part in my new AU series with Mechanic!Dean and single mom!Reader. It will be mostly fluffy with a side of angst. I will use mostly characters from the show.  I will try and post two chapters each week, but will let you know if something comes up that prevents me from doing that. Hope y’all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. And a huge thank you to my beautiful beta @thorne93

Summary: The moving truck arrives and Dean lends a helping hand.

Charachters: Dean, Jess, Reader, Benny

Warnings: None I think.

Wordcount: 1272

MASTERLIST

*GIF not mine*

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Leaving Beth alone at the preschool wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be, at least not for her. She ran right into her classroom and you had to remind her to give you a hug goodbye before you left. As you walked through the parking lot towards your car, the phone buzzed with a text, you had just put it back in your pocket when you heard someone call your name. Jess was jogging towards you with that bright white smile of hers, and you wondered how she could possibly look that cheery and energetic in the morning. That normally took you at least three cups of coffee and you only had time for two this morning.

“Good morning,” you greeted with a smile as she caught up to you.

“Morning. I just wanted to thank you for tagging along with us yesterday, John had a really great time with Beth.”

“Thank you for inviting us, we both had a great time” you said honestly.

“Listen, I’m about as new to this town as you are, and I was wondering if you had any plans today? Maybe we could grab lunch or coffee or something?”  You really hoped that you and Jess could become friends, you had such a great time talking to her yesterday and now you felt bad that you had to turn her down.

“I would love to, but I just got a text saying the moving truck will be at my house in about an hour,” you answered.

“You need any help?”

“Thank you! I don’t know if I need any help, but I wouldn’t say no to some company though?”

“Great. I just have an errand to run and I’ll be there.” She gave you a quick hug goodbye and she took off in the direction if her car.

Keep reading

what I learned today: you’re not really
living unless you eat dinner at 8pm outside on your very cold porch, blasting trees on repeat.
also what I learned today: keep a spare key outside at all times or you will be locked outside on your very cold porch eating dinner, and listening to trees on repeat.

Rumor Has It

Originally posted by beeeellss

Author’s Note: This is a Happy Lowman Imagine based on Born this Way by Lady Gaga as requested by @thejulietfarciertlove. as well as imagine number 6 for MM6, and the last for day. I didn’t really know where to take this story and then it just kind of turned into this. I want to preface this by saying I know most everyone has been bullied about something at one time or another in their life, for me it’s always been my weight, so I wrote what is a real struggle for me and what helps me stay my most authentic self.


Rumor Has It

-XX-

It doesn’t matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
‘cause you were born this way, baby
My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir
“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”
She said, “'Cause he made you perfect, babe”
“So hold your head up girl and you’ll go far,
Listen to me when I say”

I’m beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Oh there ain’t no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain’t no other way
Baby I was born this way
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don’t be a drag ‒ just be a queen
Don’t be!

-XX-

She knew she was different. She always has been. Always will be, and until she met Happy, she embraced her differences. She’s rounder in places that society told her she should be thinner, she has no thigh gap to speak of, and when it comes down to it, she’s about as far from beautiful as you can get.

Yet she is unapologetically happy. She lives with a spirit so on fire that it’s contagious.

Or so she thought.

She stares at the women who fawn over Happy; women in impeccable shape walking on sky high heels that if she ever dared to wear would surely end in her breaking her ass, or neck, and for the first time since she was in high school she feels acutely aware of just how much she doesn’t fit in.

She feels herself shrinking, her usually outgoing personality dimming and when she’s certain no attention will be called to her she slips outside.

The air is uncharacteristically cool as she takes a breath. She’ll be fine, she knows that much, she just has to find her center again, that’s all. She rests against the wall of TM, fishing in her purse for a cigarette when she hears a group of girls giggling around the corner.

“Did you see what she was wearing?” one demands her voice dripping with disgust.

“Seriously, what does Happy want with two tons of fun anyway?” another asks resulting in a cackle of laughter that makes her stomach flip with shame.

“Rumor is he made a bet with some of the guys,” their voices drop to a whisper, “hundred bucks if he can get Miss Piggy into bed, double if he manages to get her squealing on tape…”

She fears she’s going to be sick, and because she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to keep quiet she presses a hand to her mouth as if she can hold the sobs that threaten and bubble at bay with her fingers. The group of girls pass eventually, of course not without taking a few more shots at her, and when she’s certain she’s alone she pulls the keys from her purse. She knows she should tell him that she’s leaving, but at the moment being anywhere near Happy makes her want to cry, and she refuses to give any of them the satisfaction of seeing her tears.

::

Candles flicker, casting shadows around her room, and with blurred eyes she watches the way the flames dance. She’s managed to leave the house only a handful of times since the party, and because just the thought of it makes her head and chest ache she closes her eyes.

It’s always amazed her how deep words can cut a person, and having been on the receiving end of harmful words for most of her life she would think she’d be used to it by now; but how does someone get used to be hating for simply existing? What do you do when the mere fact that you draw breath draws ire from just about everyone you meet?

So her thoughts turn dark; and she wonders what would happen if she didn’t exist anymore, if she just, disappeared…

“Liv, sweetie, open up,” the panicked voice of Venus, one of her nearest and dearest friends calls through the door, but she can’t bring herself to get up. “Sweet heart, we’re all real worried about you, especially Happy, why he’s just a mess over you darlin’.”

Her eyes close tight as against the tears that threaten. He’s been by almost every day since the party, rotating between pounding on the door and demanding she let him in, to begging for her to at least answer so he knows she’s okay, both requests going unanswered.

“Liv, I’m going to use my key,” Venus calls again, but she just doesn’t have it in her to care. She listens as the front door opens and closes, the familiar sound of Venus’ high heels beating a staccato rhythm on her floor, and then her vision is filled with Venus’ beautiful face.

Their friendship was quick, kindred and wild spirits recognizing each other upon introduction and because of that there weren’t many days that went by without at the very least a text or two exchanged between the two.

“Oh my little love,” Venus coos joining her on the bed, “I’ve been worried sick…”

“I was a bet V…” Liv’s voice breaks as she speaks, a tear rolling hot down her cheek. She thought she was all cried out.

She was wrong.

“What are you talking about sugar?” Venus asks at length as she brushes at the hair on Liv’s forehead.

“Girls at the party, said Happy had a bet going with some of the guys, hundred dollars if he got me in bed…” the words hitch as she speaks, “double if he got it on tape…”

“And you believed them?” Venus asks pointedly.

“You can’t look at me V and tell me you wouldn’t believe it…”

-XX-

Give yourself prudence
And love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice your truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth
A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)
I love my life I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)

I’m beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Don’t hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you’re set
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way
Oh there ain’t no other way
Baby I was born this way
Baby I was born this way
Oh there ain’t no other way
Baby I was born this way
I’m on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don’t be a drag ‒ just be a queen
Don’t be!

-XX-

She takes it one day at a time, fully aware that not every day is going to be great, and as weird as it sounds she revels in the small victories. Like making it to the grocery store again, or running to post office for stamps.

Venus stops by almost daily and while part of her wonders if she visits simply to make sure she’s still here, another part of her is thankful. She needs a friendly face and you don’t get much friendlier than Venus.

Her arms are full with bags of ingredients for the small dinner party she’s having, and when she steps onto her porch and finds Happy sitting, back braced to the wall, chewing at a toothpick it takes everything inside of her not to drop the bags in surprise.

She’s not ready to see him yet.

He gets to his feet, towering over her and when he reaches out she very nearly takes a step back until his hands clasp one of the paper bags in her arms, taking it so it will free up one of her hands.

“Thanks,” she murmurs sliding the key into the front door, and when it’s unlocked she turns to take her bag back only to find Happy standing uncomfortably close.

“I’ll bring this in for you.” He waits for no invitation as he brushes past her into her house, and taking a deep breath she calls on what little emotional energy she has, she’s going to need it if she’s going to survive seeing Happy again.

::

She’s aware that he stares at her back as she takes her time unpacking her groceries.

“You haven’t been around in a while,” his voice is a delicious rasp that sends a chill up her spine.

“Yeah uh, I’ve been busy,” she says offering a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Busy, hmm,” Happy murmurs as she carefully sets apples into the bowl on the counter. “Too busy to return a call, but not too busy to see Venus.”

“She’s my best friend,” her response is knee-jerk and she knows her voice gives away more than she intended.

“When are you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?” he asks and because she doesn’t know how to answer, or where to even begin she just goes silent. The quiet stretches between them until finally the sound of the chair Happy was sitting in scraping against the floor fills the air. “I don’t have time for this.”

Fear fills her. Only it’s a different type of fear; one born from the idea that he’s going to simply walk away for good, and she’s never going to have the chance to find out if what they have-or had was real.

“They said I was a bet,” the words fall from her lips and turning she finds Happy frozen in the doorway of her kitchen, and with her eyes trained to him she watches him turn to her. His eyes narrow, jaw clenching tight.

“Who?”

“Some girls, at the party. They said you had a bet going with some of the guys, about getting me into bed. I’ll spare the actual words used to describe me…”

“And you believed them?” he asks disbelief ringing loud and clear.

“Look at me,” she says motioning to herself.

“I am looking, I have been from the moment I saw you,” he says closing the distance between them. “How are you going to let some gossipy bitches tear you down?”

“I’m not like them Happy,” she says shaking her head. “I will never be those girls. I don’t fit that world.”

“Says who, a few crow eaters? Fuck ‘em. You fit my world, and that’s all that matters,” he says hands coming to rest on her hips. “If I wanted someone like them, I’d have them. I want you Liv. I have from the moment I laid my eyes on you.”

“Happy…” her words are cut short by his mouth covering hers, and she feels the final broken pieces start shifting back into place.

-XX-

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you’re broke or evergreen
You’re black, white, beige, chola descent
You’re Lebanese, you’re orient
Whether life’s disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'cause baby you were born this way
No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
I’m on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I’m on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.

I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I was born this way hey!
I’m on the right track baby
I was born this way hey!
Same DNA, but born this way.
Same DNA, but born this way.

-XX-

Chris&Eva #8 (Skam)

This was requested. I am incredibly sorry that it took me so long to write. And I am not sure if Eva’s mom’s name was mentioned, so I came up with random one.

Hopefully, you (bunch of lovely people) will enjoy it.

-B

***

Last time Chris was this nervous was probably the first time he got to third base with a girl. Since then he  has come a long way. It’s no secret that he has been with many girls, but only one girl had managed to catch his attention and keep it. And she has kept it for almost four months now.  In four short months, Eva Mohn has changed his life more than anyone ever had or ever will. So, it came as no surprise that Eva’s mother wanted to meet him. When Eva broke down the news his initial reaction was panic. He wasn’t very good when it came to talking to parental figures. His parents communicated with him through post it notes attached to the fridge and money being transferred to his bank account. Williams parents weren’t too involved in his life either. Both boys were family to each other. He knew that Eva’s mother wasn’t around  a lot, because of her work, but form Eva’s stories they were definitely closer than Chris and his parents. After initial panic wore off, Chris reluctantly agreed to have dinner with Eva and her mother.

And now, standing one Eva’s porch and waiting for her to open the door, he was starting to internally panic. Chris wasn’t the one to care about what other people thought about him. He knew girls wanted to be with him and that  guys wanted to be him, he also knew that every teacher let out a relieved breath after he graduated from Nissen, his parents saw him more as an money sucking inconvenience than a son. Only two people in his life who’s opinion about him mattered were William and Eva, and now Eva’s mom. He was determined to prove worthy of her daughters heart.

He contemplated whether  he should knock again, but then he heard quick footsteps and  door opened revealing Eva’s mother. Eva’s mother noted the surprised look on his face and gave him a warm smile, Eva had the same one.
“You must be Christoffer. I’m Eva’s mother, Sebill, “ she said, stepping back to let him come in. “Come in, dinner will be ready in 5 minutes, dining room is down the hall on your left. Eva’s setting table there, you can go and help her. “
“Sure thing, Mrs. Mohn,” he said and started to head in direction of dining room, but quickly remembering the bouquet of flowers in his hands. “I almost forgot, these are for you,” he said giving her a bouquet of scarlet Zinnias. He read that they symbolised constancy. Yes, he googled language of flowers. That’s how much he wanted Eva’s mother to approve of him. He heard footsteps and felt two arms wrap around his torso,  enveloping him in a hug.

“If you think you can get out of table setting duty by charming the pants off my mother, boy are you mistaken,” she says planting a kiss on his cheek, one hand giving his bum a little squeeze,he hoped her mother didn’t notice that.
“Christoffer was just heading to help you, but then he remembered that he wanted to give me this beautiful bouquet,” Mrs.Monh said waving the bouquet  at Eva.
“Mom, nobody calls him Christoffer. Just Chris,” Eva said, already pulling him towards dining room.
“Sure, if you don’t mind,” Eva’s mother said, looking him at him for a sign of approval.
“Truly, Mrs.Monh, I prefer it,” Chris replied, giving her one of his signature smiles.

“And I would prefer if you called me Sebill, “ Eva’s mother replied, placing bouquet in a nearby vase next to bouquet  of white roses. 

“Sure thing, Sebill,” he said trying to sound more relaxed than he felt. Somehow, Eva’s mothers relaxed attitude made him feel more on edge than before. He wasn’t used to grown ups being so kind to him.
“For God’s sake, Chris, get your ass over here,” he hears Eva yell.
Mohn’ s dining room is quite similar to theirs, all white with few maroon colored items here and there.
Eva’s back was to him and he took it as an opportunity to come up behind her, placing both of his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him. Eva drew in a shaky breath that made him smirk. He loved how confident she was, but what Chris loved even more was, how simple touch from him could undo her. He loved it, because it worked both ways, it wasn’t just Eva who had invisible hold over him.

“I’m pretty sure your mother already adores me,” he whispered, nibbling at her earlobe.

“You wish,” Eva responded with a laugh, removing his hands from her hips and handing him silverware.
“So, what if I do? She’s your mother, of course it’s important that she approves of us dating,” he replied shooting her a cheeky wink.
“And why is that?” Eva asked, so concentrated  on  lighting the candles, that she didn’t even notice his wink.
“Because if she likes me, she might let me stay over, so I can… keep you warm at night.”
“ She would never allow that,” Eva said with chuckle.
“True, but if she liked me,she wouldn’t be as angry if she found us in bed.”

“Oh, really? What makes you think that?” Eva’s mother said, entering the room with a plate of brussels sprouts in her hands.
Eva look mortified, her cheeks getting redder by a second. Shit, not even 5 minutes into dinner and he has already made a fool of himself. Think dude, think. What would William do?
“Mrs.Mohn, I mean, Sebill… I was just joking around, I would never do anything to  disrespect you,” Chris said trying to sound full of humility as possible. There was no way he was going to screw up his one shot at making good impression on his girls mother.
“Sure you wouldn’t. Eva would, though, “ she said, flipping a lock of hair out of her face.
“Mother!”
“You see, disrespectful, “  Eva’s mother said, giving her daughter a playful shove. “Come, disrespectful daughter, we have more food to bring. You  too, Chris.”

After they finished setting the table, they had a lovely dinner filled with lots of cute and embarrassing  stories about Eva as a child, Sebill sharing some stories about her teenage years who were just as hilarious as Eva’s  reaction to them. And , of course, incredible food.

Only after they had finished dinner and Chris offered to help with the dishes, did he realize how much he had longed for this…this feeling of closeness.
“Chris? Are you alright?” Eva whispered next to him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“What? Yeah, of course. I was just thinking about how much I enjoyed this evening,” he replied. “Our dining room barely gets used. It’s very rare that we can all find time for a family dinner…So, yeah, I had a great time,” he tried to sound nonchalant telling her this, but somehow it came out even more miserable than he expected.

“You are always welcome back, you know, “ Eva’s mother said entering the kitchen with more empty dishes in her hands. “For dinner, of course. I will make sure to buy Eva a cozy duvet to keep her warm at night,” she said with a wink.
“Mother fo-“
“Shush, again with the disrespect. How do you manage to put up with her?” Sebill asked, looking at Chris with a grin on her face. He could easily see where Eva got her looks from.
“Same way you do, by loving her,” Chris answered pulling Eva into a bear hug.
“You’re both so annoying. I love you,” Eva said, laughing and trying to wriggle out of Chris’s arms.
Rest of the evening was spent doing the dishes, talking, laughing and singing along to songs on the radio.
And all Chris could think about was, that if he could spend all of his life like this, he would die a happy man.

Southern California gothic

  • You drive to In n Out for lunch and order a double double with animal style fries. But what does the animal style mean. Why are there animals? 
  • You get stuck in traffic on your way to work. You never get to work. You stay on the 101 forever. 
  • You turn on the sink to fill your cup with water but nothing comes out. The Arrowhead water bottles in your fridge are completely empty. Nothing exists in your pool except your pool cleaner, driving in circles around the dust. The drought has finally hit. 
  • Someone posts on Facebook, “going to Cali for spring break!” They never leave their home state. No one calls California “Cali” 
  • The fires are never ending. The exist forever in the hills, burning away the dead brush that is always growing back. 
  • Your neighbor is walking their dog down the street. But is it really a dog? It is very small with white fur and red eyes. It might be a rat. 
  • You eat fish for dinner on your back porch. A seagull lands on a tree a few feet away and stares at you, unmoving, until you have almost finished your dinner. That’s when it attacks.