Five months ago today, Poe Party chapter 1 was posted. Now it’s less than 700 views shy of 100k, which is still WAY fewer than it deserves, but it’s a cool milestone, so let’s help it get there! If you haven’t watched it yet, this would be an excellent time to find out what I’ve been posting about all these months. And if you, like me, have already seen it several times, you know that there’s never a bad time for a re-watch.
I first did one of these for the Harry Potter characters, and almost immediately after that post’s inception, I thought of this. So now, without further or any ado, here is a comprehensive look at how necessary the deaths in Poe Party were.
Let’s get right to it!
Eddie Dantes: Firstly, he is too pretty to stay I mean look at this man. Nextly, gotta have some kind of plot what with the neck touch murder plan in motion. Thirdly, to hell with this guy in general for being terrible. And furtherly also stop Oscar Wilde from repeating history. 10/10 necessary.
Louisa May Alcott: stop the coughing. stop it at all costs (at all coughs? i’m sorry) and also we can’t have her going to the police because that is just it makes too much sense. 6/10 necessary.
Mary Shelley: Can’t have too many fabulous queens in the vicinity. Somebody had to go and it couldn’t be Lenore. Gotta say though, her death came as a bit of a shock if you catch me, drift-wise. 5/10 necessary.
Fyodor Dostoevsky: This poor cinnamon roll has had a horrible life let him live also that accent is so on point and I have never gotten over Clayton Synder being in this can’t i have nice things please ugh His death was only good for showing how freakin terrible Charlotte Bronte is and sowing doubt about her innocence. Petty. 4/10 necessary.
George Eliot: Literally wasn’t even supposed to happen. Just a glitch in the weird neck touchy murder plan. Think of the puns about sports and masculinity we’ve missed out on. I named my car Karen in her honor. 2/10 necessary.
Krishanti: Had to die, cause she knew about the murderer. Not sure why she didn’t just tell everybody who the murderer was, but we never said she was bright. Just that she could speak to dead people. Weird but cool flower power lady. 8/10 necessary.
Emily Dickinson: Who is this? Was this the cat? 0/10 necessary if it did indeed happen.
H.G. Wells: HOW DARE YOU.LITERALLY WHY. i mean i get why cause of the camera but also I AM SO UPSET WITH THIS IN GENERAL i mean i’m happy he and lenore are time traveling ghosts together that’s cute but I WAS SAD FOR DAYS THIS CINNAMON ROLL SUNSHINE INCARNATE IS HUMAN JOY HOW DARE YOU. -100/10 necessary.
no joke i have no fewer than 20 gifs of HG Wells on my laptop
Constables: aw COME ON seriously?? Right after HG??? Low blow. Cheap trick. Also I need more Jim O’Heir in my life immediately. 0/10 necessary
Annabel Lee: Literal Spanish sunset incarnate beautiful and innocent angel let me just ask you this, why can’t Edgar Allen Poe have one nice thing????? ONE NICE THING I ASK YOU. Okay sure like Annabel kinda knew about Eddie but how could she have known?? She was betrayed! Reminds me of Snape, which makes me sad as heckle. 0/10 necessary.
Lenore the Lady Ghost: Only the good die young. 10/10 necessary to meet HG and fall in ghosty time traveling pure sunshine love
Naomie Harris attends the IWC Schaffhausen ‘Decoding the Beauty of Time’ Gala Dinner during the launch of the Da Vinci Novelties from the Swiss luxury watch manufacturer IWC Schaffhausen at the Salon International de la Haute Horlogerie (SIHH) on January 17, 2017 in Geneva.
Because Kara’s neck was way too defined and her shoulders were
broad even though she always hunched her back. Plus that time Kara wore a
backless dress to one of the galas Lena invited her to. Lena would be lying if
she said she didn’t tripped over her own feet when she saw the rippling muscles.
But when she was picked up and placed on
her desk in her office… Lena was sure she just died a little bit inside. Then she
practically torn the shirt off of Kara, hungrily devouring the blonde’s body
before her. She shuddered, watching taught and defined abdominal muscles shift
and flex with every labored breath Kara took.
Guessing that your girlfriend worked out
was one thing. Knowing, seeing and feeling
it was a completely new experience. (Lena would be lying if she said she wasn’t
a little jealous of Kara’s metabolism. Because she could eat whatever she
wanted and however much she wanted. And Lena silently cursed all the galas and
dinners for her soft stomach and thick thighs.)
She watched the muscles roll as Kara shrugged
the shirt off, tearing Lena’s blouse in return, buttons flying everywhere;
hiking the pencil skirt, bunching it around the brunette’s hips, before pushing
Lena back to lie on the table.
She looked up at Kara, eyes heavy, chest
heaving with deep breaths. The blonde was looking down at her, dark blue eyes
and panting, hands sprawled on Lena’s thighs.
“I really hope that your office is soundproofed.”
Kara rasped before bending down and placing wet open-mouthed kisses all over Lena’s
The CEO gasped, fingers tangling in thick
blonde hair, before biting her lip and arching into the touch.
She couldn’t, for the life of her,
remember if her office was indeed soundproof.