ding dong ditched


Bucky Barnes X Barista!Reader

A/N: This is for @just-some-drabbles 4k follower challenge! Congrats, babe!

Thanks to my fake friend @denialanderror for beta’ing.

Words: 1718

Prompt: “I got your message. What the hell was that supposed to mean?”

Warnings: bad fluff again bc im a hoe for soft things but idk how to write soft things rip


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The 58 and 1/2 Minute Gap

I’m a very logical person, and I believe most things can be explained through science, but I’ve had a few experiences that I’ve had trouble explaining to myself–moments my body tells me has happened, but my mind tells me should not have. I guess, according to sixpence, they’re called “glitches”.
As I said, I’ve had a few of these experiences, but most of them have been fractions of seconds long. I’m not superstitious or overtly paranoid, but last summer, on a cruise with two of my cousins around my age, something happened that I haven’t quite been able to shake.
It was our second night on the ship, and we thought it would be funny to run around causing havoc, in a real “Leonardo Decaprio sticking it to the upper class in Titanic” sort of way. We found our way to the richer levels, and laughed our way down elaborate hallways with beautiful lighting. While walking (or rather, stomping) we discovered that each door had a doorbell. These halls were different from the rest of the ship in that they were long and dead-ended. This meant that when we decided to ding-dong-ditch everyone, it required that one person stand at the end of the hall, then sprint to the two waiting at the exit while slamming their hands on each doorbell. After much discussion, we decided that my boy cousin was faster than both of us, and would be less likely to get caught.
After a few seconds of preparation, my cousin and I danced on our feet, watching him speed through the halls, itching to run from our self-inflicted trouble. When he got to the end, a large man stuck his head out of his fancy door, and after watching us giggling and pressing more doorbells, decided to chase us. There aren’t many places to hide if you get caught on a boat, so an unspoken consensus was made that we would need to run fast enough to not be recognized.
We sprinted down levels and levels of stairs, until we reached a landing with no where to go, except for into the endless hallways. Now the hallways were set up so that if you kept running in one direction, you would go in circles, but each landing had an exit to the left and an exit to the right. We knew we had a few seconds to debate which way to go, but for the first time that night, I disagreed with them. I thought it would be more faster to get to our room if we went to the left, and they thought the same of the right. We didn’t have time to debate and agree, because we soon heard yells and stomps from the stairs in front of us. Without thinking, we split up. I pulled out my timer, just to prove without a doubt that my way was faster, and began sprinting, quickly finding my way towards our room. My timer, which I screenshotted, said 1 minute, 34 seconds. I entered the room smugly, convinced I had beat them.
When I saw my cousins talking closely when I entered, I was disappointed. When they saw me, they were shocked. They had been discussing what to say to my grandma about me getting caught by the man. To them I had been gone for over an hour. To me and my phone, I had been gone for 1 minute, 34 seconds.
The next half hour was spent debating how long I was gone, the games with the doorbells before were completely forgotten.
Everything except for my timer and my mind tell me that they were right, but I know what my phone says, and I know I would not have been able to continuously sprint for over an hour.
That night I lay awake, trying to convince myself that they were right, but I knew how long I had run for, and so I kept asking myself: where was I for the other 58 and ½ minutes?

Dates {Avengers Preferences}

Steve Rogers/Captain America

Steve would put loads of effort into the first few dates - flowers, paying for dinner, going nice places - but as things progressed you’d both much rather stay in, watch Netflix and order takeout. It was when you were more comfortable with each other that you would just stay in in your pajamas, not that either of you were complaining.

Tony Stark/Ironman

Tony’s dates could be anything from renting out a theme park, to going to a private island, to ordering in and watching Titanic. You had no warning whether you would be jumping out of planes or just spending the night on the sofa, but either way they were never boring and as long as you were with him, you enjoyed it.

Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Clint would get hella creative with his dates. They’d be really nontraditional, like paint balling or playing ding dong ditch in a super rich neighborhood. They would always be fun and you’d be exhausted by the end of the night, at which point you would pass out together.

Thor Odinson

Thor would like to go loads of places, so you’d go travelling all over the State to random fields and parks to spend the day there or go camping. You’d travel out of state too. It was a good chance to escape the city and just spend time together.

Loki Laufeyson

Loki would put a lot of time into his dates. He would take into consideration what you enjoy and what your interests were, so you always enjoyed it. He seemed selfish from the outset but everything he did for you was always so thoughtful.

Natasha Romanoff

Natasha, despite being a smooth talker and generally good at everything, got really nervous about dates because she wasn’t much good at thinking about what other people liked. Because of this, the two of you would just stay in, build a blanket fort and cry over Orange Is The New Black, which all in all was pretty perfect.

Sam Wilson/Falcon

Sam wouldn’t just settle for one thing, you’d end up doing ten things in one night. Sometimes it would be bowling, the cinema, dinner, ice skating and watching a film on the sofa but they were never boring and you always made the most of your time together.

Peter Parker/Spiderman

Honestly, he had no idea what he was doing, so he just kind of went with the flow. He could turn anything into a date. Studying for a test? Date. Going to a football match? Date. Rescuing from some rude ass people who had a vendetta against his other identity? Sure, call it a date.

Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier

Bucky would become more of a homebody, so dates would be at the tower. Luckily, it was a huge tower, so there was a lot to. Your personal favourite was pranking the others - buckets of water on top of doors, getting Thor to put Mjolnir on a toilet seat and locking the doors to the others. Either way, you had tonnes of fun.

Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

Wanda loved the beach, so you would always end up there. Whether it was the Hamptons or the Bahamas or a rainy English seaside where the only food for miles was made of fish and/or chips, she would want to go. 

Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver

Pietro would be down for anything, as long as he was with you. He would enjoy theme parks but also just having lazy days, because if you were by his side during it he would be perfectly happy.

Bruce Banner/Hulk

Bruce hated making a big deal of things so you would always go to really humble places - hole in the wall diners, tiny boutique restaurants, or even just picnics.

anonymous asked:

Love you and your blog ♥️ Your Exo dick analysis was amazing can I ask for a BTS one, thank you so much 😊

~ OKAY back at it with the dick analysis so let’s hop into it btw I am sorry for the cringey names it is late at night/early in the morning and I am hype off an energy drink so excuse my weirdness and I don’t know the size of their dicks this is all fun and guesses


My dude got a long dingaling, girth on 100, he can hmu any day like bish whet

6 ½ Inches



He got a pencil dick but who minds about that we’d all smash I mean look at him, ok his penis is slender and a bit long

5 ½ Inches


Same length as Jimin but this man knows how to use what he’s got to the fullest btw he got a whole lot of girth

5 Inches


Boyy be packin a monster (no pun intended) he got length and girth zamn daddy come fuh me up

6 Inches


Has a small dick but it’s girthy as fuck and when I say girthy I mean girthy like oh mi goddd

5 Inches


He got a ding dong I would never ditch, why am I like this idk but anyways is on the slim side but wazzupp

6 Inches


Maknae got a good ass package , right amount of girth and enough length, swing by this way my man

6 Inches

~ Also size does not matter point blank period and I have no idea what a knackpack or fappie is just some dumbass words i put together that made me die on the floor so yeah

{Let Oppa Teach You.}  Jimin ☽ 0.1

Originally posted by kookmint


Warning: This is quite explicit and graphic so please do not read if that bother you or makes you feel uncomfortable.

Features : Oppa Kink, And After Care

A/N: I hope you enjoy this! Especially all the freaky Army’s out there, if y’know what I mean…

{Description: You tutor bad boy Park Jimin in Trig and he tutors you in sexual health and education *wink* *wink* A.K.A. He start giving you dat work}

“Good job Miss Y/N, you’ve scored the highest again this term.” Your trigonometry teacher smiled as she handed you your graded test, that had a bright red ‘A’ at the top.

You smiled and slightly bowed your head in her direction.

“Everyone, please give a round of applause for Y/N.” Your teacher announced to the class.

You could feel your cheeks begin to turn red as you felt the attention in the room all on you, you averted your gaze to your feet and bowed and whispered thank you under your breath.

Thankfully, the final bell of the day had rung, and everyone quickly ran for the exits, eager to start their weekend.

You as usual had waited for everyone to leave before you so you didn’t have to deal with being pushed and tugged around in a crowd.

You had been taking your time getting to your locker to pick up the books you’d dropped off there last period, you’d need them over the weekend, you walked home so you could take as long as you wanted leaving the school without worry of missing a bus.

And it wasn’t like you had any friends waiting on you. You could call yourself a bit of a loner. People had just never really noticed you and you preferred it that way, high school is already hard enough on its own, you didn’t need to involve yourself in unnecessary petty drama that flooded the halls.

You were content with just being you.

As you turned the corner down the hallway that your locker was on, you immediately recognized one of your teachers standing near the entrance of their classroom…angrily talking with a student.

You shrugged and crossed the hallway to your locker, quickly you spun in your locker combination and it popped open. You tried to focus on gathering your things but you couldn’t help but listen in on the heated conversation.

“Your behavior today in class was highly inappropriate, and let’s not even talk about your grades. At this rate, I’ll have to fail you.” Your teacher snapped.

You’d never seen him angry, so whoever this student was must’ve done something pretty bad.

“Yah…! You can’t do that, if I fail this class I don’t graduate.” The student hissed.

You stuffed your books in your backpack and slung the straps over your shoulder.

“I can and I will if you don’t make some major behavioral and academic changes, we’re already two quarters of the way into the school year, you’ll need a miracle to fix your grades.” He explained.

“How the fuck do you expect me to do all of that!” The student yelled loudly.

His loud voice echoing throughout the hallway had startled you…and that’s when it happened…

You’d fell and all the papers that had been in your hand at the moment, were now scattered throughout the hallway, making both your teacher and the angered student pause and look over at you for the first time.

Your teacher had quickly rushed over to your aid “Miss Y/N, are you okay?” He asked.

You inspected the small bruise on your knee that had already started turning purple, you smiled and nodded and picked yourself up off the floor, you dusted your neatly pressed skirt off and adjusted your cardigan.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You smiled and bowed.

“You should be more careful.” He chuckled.

You nodded and turned to begin picking up your lost papers only to see the very same student who’d been arguing with your teacher was picking up the last piece of paper.

“Oh! Kamsahabnida, you didn’t need to.” You said politely.

The student had stood up straight finally giving you a perfect view of his face.

Park Jimin.

Resident bad ass at your school. Everyone knew who he was, even you who was a grade below him knew all about him. You never spoke to him personally, but just by the way he carried himself you had developed a pretty good idea of what he was all about.

Regardless of all of that, you had to admit that he was beyond attractive. Everything about him screamed sex, from the glossy Doc Martens he commonly wore on his feet, to his perfectly pouty lips, and his angelic chocolate eyes.

He was a literal piece of art, something that you admired and gazed upon, NOT something you touch.

His voice pulled you from your thoughts, forcing the color in your cheeks to deepen.

“It’s not polite to stare you know…” He hummed, his lips curved up into a smirk.

You parted your lips to answer but your teacher had interjected into the conversation.

“Miss Y/N, could I propose an arrangement?” Your teacher questioned looking deep in thought.

“An arrangement?” You questioned.

“Mr. Park Jimin here is failing quite horrifically to be exact.” He answered, earning a scoff and an eye roll from Jimin.

“He could really use a tutor, and having someone as bright as you are, I think he might just actually have a chance at passing my class this year…” He trailed.

“And…I heard from your homeroom teacher, that your still in need of a letter of recommendation…? Specifically, one for Harvard? I happen to be great friends with the dean up there, I’d love to put in a good word for you personally, as well as provide a letter.” He suggested.

My eyes widened at the mention of Harvard.

“Shouldn’t you being asking me if I even want to do it? Maybe I don’t have the time.” Jimin complained.

“According to your grades, you have plenty of time.” Your teacher said immediately shutting him up.

“So, what do you say Miss?” Your teacher smiled.

This was going to be doing the opposite of all of the rules you’d set for yourself the very moment you set foot in high school.

But this was Harvard we were talking about, your family wouldn’t be able to send you to Harvard alone, and you’d been working your ass off to achieve a scholarship, and a letter of recommendation would at least allow you to have your foot in the door.

“I’d love to.” You smiled.

“Perfect. And as for you Jimin, I hope you appreciate Y/N’s kindness and take advantage of this opportunity. Have a lovely weekend you two.” Your teacher smiled and retreated into his classroom, leaving you and Jimin alone.

“I’d love to.” Jimin said mimicking you in a high pitched girly voice.

And it was at that moment that you knew that this was not going to be as easy as you thought it would be.


It’s been a good two months since you had begun tutoring Jimin. Much to your surprise, Jimin had been making many strides in improving his grades, he had moved up a whole letter grade and you could tell that he was proud of himself, even if he didn’t show it.

Luckily for you, winter break was here and you could finally take a break. Your parents had made plans to visit your grandmother for a day, knowing how much you’ve been working they allowed you to stay back and take your younger siblings with them.

Seeing as you were alone all day, you had settled to just lounging around in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a hoody. You took up residence on the long comfortable couch in your living room and binge watch your favorite dramas and variety shows.

It was a couple of hours into your day just as your eyes had closed, and your body relaxed itself for a mid-day nap. That was until your obnoxiously loud ass doorbell rang making you jolt out of your sleep. You grumpily stomped off to the front door, grumbling under your breath.

You opened the door expecting it to be a package or those same little snotty kids who lived nearby and kept ding dong ditching your house, but what you didn’t expect was to see Park Jimin, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and a smile on his face.

“What are you doing here Jimin?” You questioned.

“Sheesh..what is wrong with your generation today, I’m your elder making me your Oppa.” He smirked pushing his way inside.

You rolled your eyes and folded your arms over your chest “How did you even find my house?”

“Magic.” He answered as he inspected the family pictures that covered the walls.

Not having the energy to argue with him today you just ignored it and made your way back to the couch to finish your show.

Jimin followed you and even made a point of diving in front of you to steal the spot he saw you going for. You narrowed your eyes at him and snatched a pillow off the couch and raised it to begin your assault.

Jimin flashed his trademark smirk before pulling you down on to the couch with him by your wrist.

You flicked him on the forehead and attempted to push him off the couch, but he wouldn’t budge.

“You’re so tiny and cute.” He smiled raising a hand to squish your cheeks together.

“Look who’s talking Mr. 186cm.” You bit back, making Jimin only smile wider.

Swiftly, Jimin rolled the two of you over until he was on top, he trapped you by placing his hands beside your head. You froze at the sudden change of the tone of the conversation.

“I like you.” Jimin stated bluntly, his eyes not leaving yours.

“What are you talk-

Jimin rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time slightly making you wish they got stuck back there, before he smashed his lips against yours, pulling you in.

His hands ran up and down your sides, as he explored his mouth with your tongue. You hesitated for a moment until you melted into his touch and kissed back. You both pulled away as the need for air became present.

His lips had moved to your neck littering your collarbone with love bites. Your hands that had naturally moved to his hair and began tugging at his newly dyed pink locks, had elicited a deep groan from Jimin.

He pulled away to finally look up at you, gauging your reactions to his advances.

“We can stop, you know that right?” He said with serious expression on his face.

You weren’t sure what to think of Jimin’s “confession” but you were sure that you didn’t want to stop.

“I don’t want to stop.” You admitted.

 A/N: SIKE…no smut this part. Lol I’m sorry.

Some people like to play “Ding Dong Ditch”, but I have my own variation of it.

I ring the doorbell, and when they answer, I throw an empty barrel at ‘em. 

I call it “Ding Dong Donkey Kong”.

The Sims 1 : Grim Reaper
Happy Halloween everybody!! My Sims tumblr: http://inujadesims.tumblr.com/

FUN SIMS 1 FACT (click to watch the video on YouTube):

If you place 6 Jack O’ Lanterns on your property, at midnight the Grim Reaper will play Ding-Dong-Ditch at your Sims house! 😂💀🎃

Unfortunately I don’t have time today to make a video from my game of him doing it to my creepy Sims house, so here’s a video of it on YouTube! 

what your favorite grunge musician says about you
  • kurt cobain: the world just doesn't understand you. also your favorite book is the catcher in the rye.
  • eddie vedder: you spend a lot of time alone in your room crying over sappy movies, but you'd never admit this.
  • chris cornell: your hobbies include not wearing a shirt and screaming.
  • layne staley: people fear you but actually you give the best hugs.
  • courtney love: you're constantly prepared to beat a man up with a pair of high heels.
  • dave grohl: you're a Cool Dad.
  • andy wood: you tell everyone you're a slut when really you've kissed like 3 people.
  • stone gossard: you ding dong ditched people a lot in elementary school.
  • matt cameron: someday you'll be a hot suburban mom who frequently cheats on her rich husband with her 20-something fitness instructor.
  • jerry cantrell: no one appreciates you but it's ok, you're just here for the beer.
  • ben shepherd: you enjoy setting things on fire.


This pillowcase pictured here is my smol large child, Miss Mew. Adopted over a year ago and is a bunny soft, very vocal girl. Favourite activities include sleeping between the hours of 9 am to 2 pm, yelling for more wet food, mad sprints from the basements stairs into my room and jumping onto the window sill, and playing ding-dong-ditch (yelling outside our bedroom doors and running away when we open them)

We’re not sure what breed of cat, her papers just say “Domestic” and she’s kinda in between short and long hair coat. My sister and I speculate that she might be some sort of Angora/Maine Coon/Norwegian Forest Cat mix somewhere down her line.

Our junior English teacher hated when people would knock on his door. This resulted in people basically doing ding-dong ditch but more like knock knock run because as soon as the person would knock he would go flying out after you to find you. I never did it but it was always fun watching it play out.

dyegu’s writing masterpost

ao3 link | tumblr tag

~~ sorted by newest –> oldest ~~


Kid-Proof Scissors - jikook, rated t, teacher au [ao3, tumblr]
MMA: Mixed Mutual Attraction - jikook, rated t, mma au [ao3, tumblr]
A Hint of Magick - jikook, rated t, fantasy au [ao3, tumblr]
Toothbrush - jikook, rated t, college au [ao3, tumblr]
3 x 3 = 9, please be mine? - jikook, rated t, college au [ao3, tumblr]
The Devil Isn’t the Sinner - jikook, rated t, canon compliant [ao3]
Lie - jikook, rated m, cafe au [ao3, tumblr]
Coping - sugakookie, rated g, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
Moving - jikook, rated m, apartment au [ao3, tumblr]
Chocolate Milk - jikook, rated t, high school au [ao3, tumblr]
Inconvenient - jikook, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
You Read Me Like a Book - jikook, rated t, college au [ao3, tumblr]
Hold Me, Hold Me Tight - jikook, rated g, idol au [ao3, tumblr]
Emergency Shower - jikook, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
You’re Pretty - minjoon, rated g, high school au [ao3, tumblr]
Better Together - yoonmin, rated g, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
The Mitochondria is the Powerhouse of the Cell - jikook, rated t, college au [ao3, tumblr]
He’s Mine - vminkook, rated t, cafe au [ao3, tumblr]
Pickles - taekook, rated g, apartment au [ao3, tumblr]
Smol - jikook, rated g, maknae!jimin au [ao3, tumblr]
A Hearty Breakfast - taegi, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
Laundry Day - jikook, rated m, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
Ding Dong Ditch - vminkook, rated m, college au [ao3, tumblr]
The Reveal - vmin, rated g, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
Could You Stop Being So High Up? - jikook, rated g, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
Guide Me, Fly With Me - jikook, rated g, idol au [ao3, tumblr]
Sketches of You - taekook, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
Matching - jikook, rated t, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]
Stairing Contest - vmin, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
Please Don’t Let Me Fall, Fall - jikook, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
My Light - taekook, rated g, college au [ao3, tumblr]
Shut Up - taegi, rated t, high school au [ao3, tumblr]
Mine - jikook, rated t, canon compliant [ao3, tumblr]


The Room of Unrequited Love - ongoing, jikook, rated t, hp au [ao3, tumblr]
Tainted - hiatus, vminkook, rated t, fantasy au [ao3, tumblr]
Rainbows - abandoned, jikook, rated t, college au [ao3, tumblr]

headcanons / drabbles

send me ship and i’ll tell you - jikook, ask meme [tumblr]
it’s okay - jikook, drabble, canon compliant [tumblr]
jikook x kids - jikook, headcanon, parents au [tumblr]
How to Make Jeon Jungkook an Incoherent Mess - jikook, drabble, canon compliant [tumblr]
telekinesis - yoonminkook, drabble, college au [tumblr]
i miss you - sugakookie, drabble, apartment au [tumblr]
warm me up - jikook, drabble, maknae!jimin au [tumblr]
just do it - jikook, drabble, mafia au [tumblr]
man of the hour - jikook, drabble, ceo au [tumblr]
transformation - jikook, drabble, high school au [tumblr]
jimin protection squad - jikook, drabble, canon compliant [tumblr]
grease pt. 2 - jikook, drabble, grease au [tumblr]
music to my ears - yoonminkook, drabble, apartment au [tumblr]
i need u - jikook, drabble, i need u au [tumblr]
grease pt. 1 - jikook, drabble, grease au [tumblr]
haunted house - jikook, group write, halloween au [tumblr]
the maknae - jikook, headcanon, maknae!jimin au [tumblr]
movie star pt. 2 - jikook, headcanon, actor au [tumblr]
movie star pt. 1 - jikook, headcanon, actor au [tumblr]
21st century romance - jikook, headcanon, canon compliant [tumblr]