ding a lings

RICK  &  MORTY  SENTENCE  STARTERS.  

  • ❝Right now, we’re gonna go pick up your little friend.❞ 
  • ❝Y'know, I want you to have somebody.❞
  • ❝ I’m taking charge of the situation, buddy!❞
  • ❝If you love her/him so much, why don’t you… marry her/him?!❞ 
  • ❝I’m starting to work up some anxiety about this whole thing!❞ 
  • ❝ Big tough guy all of a sudden.❞ 
  • ❝Alright, alright, calm down. Listen to me.❞ 
  • ❝I know that new situations can be intimidating.❞  
  • ❝I’m no stranger to scary situations, I deal with them all the time.❞  
  • ❝Y'know, we did something great today.❞  
  • ❝I didn’t know hanging out with you was making me smarter!❞ 
  • ❝In reality, you’re as dumb as they come.❞ 
  • ❝I have to give ‘em up just to get your parents off my back!❞  
  • ❝Boy, you’re really gonna flip your lid over this one.❞ 
  • ❝It’s just like that movie you keep crowing about!❞ 
  • ❝You don’t have to try and impress me, _____!❞ 
  • ❝Hey! I said nobody move, buddy!❞ 
  • ❝Just do the same thing here and we’ll be fine!❞ 
  • ❝They were removed. Where have they gone?❞ 
  • ❝You will walk when it is time to walk.❞ 
  • ❝You can run but you can’t hide, bitch!❞ 
  • ❝Well, at least I didn’t really crap my pants.❞ 
  • ❝You’re sleeping in your crap right now.❞ 
  • ❝Are these pills supposed to wake me up or something?❞ 
  • ❝Who are you?! Answer me!❞ 
  • ❝Okay, well, I can’t cure death.❞   
  • ❝Where’s the anger coming from, man?❞ 
  • ❝Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing, ______. ❞  
  • ❝Well, make yourself comfortable because I suck.❞ 
  • ❝What’re you lookin’ at, motherfucker?!❞
  • ❝Let’s go make ourselves at home, huh?❞ 
  • ❝I’ll do you a favor. I’ll throw in a fart.❞ 
  • ❝Oh, it looks cool, huh? That’s why you want it?❞ 
  • ❝You speak when you’re spoken to, ding-a-ling!❞  
  • ❝This place is the worst! I wanna go home!!❞
  • ❝What are you gonna do, ground me?!❞  
  • ❝I don’t wanna masturbate! I wanna conquer the planet!❞ 
  • ❝What about weapons?! What about domination of the enemy?!❞ 
  • ❝I’d rather breath poison than live another minute with you!❞ 
  • ❝We’re not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.❞ 
  • ❝Oh, now they’re resting comfortably in my stomach.❞  
  • ❝I really could go for some enchiladas!❞ 
  • ❝Can I show you something?❞ 
  • ❝I basically destroyed the whole world.❞ 
  • ❝I’m proud of you two for working together.❞  
  • ❝Do I need to call the police?❞ 
  • ❝I don’t care what anyone says.❞  
  • ❝I promise never to make that your problem again.❞ 
  • ❝I got a computer in here, you know?❞ 
  • ❝And also, knock next time, you know?❞
  • ❝Also, every ten seconds, it stabs your balls.❞ 
  • ❝This place is a real who’s who of who’s you and me.❞ 
  • ❝Dude, are you..? Wait, you’re being a dick, right?❞ 
  • ❝So… I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?!❞ 
  • ❝I haven’t quite captured your beautiful eyes.❞  
  • ❝This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me!❞  
  • ❝Eventually, everything either is or isn’t.❞ 
  • ❝Whatever you’re asking, the answer is I’m amazing.❞  
  • ❝I’m glad that was painful! You deserve it!❞ 
  • ❝Your relationship with your father is psychotic!❞ 
  • ❝Pay for it with money. You know, like how every store in the world works?❞ 
  • ❝You’re not the cause of your parents’ misery, you’re just a symptom of it.❞
  • ❝What people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.❞ 
Other Ways (M)

Masterlist

This is my first request and I was actually really excited to write it! Thank you so much for reading! I hope I got what you requested right, I tired my best!

Originally posted by nakamotens

Okay but like how does he make sweating look hot asdfghjkl;

Pairing: Yuta/Reader (Female)

Warnings: Sexual Content/cursing/thigh riding/dry humping

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can you draw Princess Bubblegum dressed in a pig costume as a pig with a fake pig nose?

you ding-a-ling. You sent me this exact same thing the last time I drew princess bubblegum a while ago and I ignored it, in hopes that you would not return, and yet here you are.

Subtle, they are not...

Firstly, let me just say that I am in mourning a bit. I am sad for the death of Dicksa - the ship that could have been.Sigh.. so Dickon and his hot bod/dick is out of the game. Ugh. A great ship - destroyed by daughter of Aerys. Bringer of death and mother of ugly ass dragons.

BUT.. BUT .. BUT I THINK -  this all the more points to Jonsa endgame. Currently, there stands only Jon who seems to be the most eligible match for Lady Sansa Stark who definitely has to marry one day, now that he’s a legit Targaryen and not a bastard (via unacceptable means). I mean if this knowledge is made public in the last season somehow and Ding a Ling Tinkerbell dies - both of which I think will happen because Dumber and Dumber have gone all out to show how R + L= Jon and her vision from the HoU won’t just disappear.

Seeing it might be too late to introduce a major new character as her match, or even if they appear, they stand to be burnt or choked by Jon; and all other eligible male characters are either:

Keep reading

6

**Disclaimer: Gifs not ours, will credit the source if provided**

Who Are You?

“Who sent you?” Jon yelled as he pointed the revolver at her. Sansa rolled her eyes at him and scoffed.

Someone who wants you dead, obviously, you butthead. I’m just the messenger. Ding-a-ling.

“Perhaps I should ask you the same thing then, Jon. Or is that even your name?” Sansa mocked him as she clasped the semi automatic firmly in her hands, its barrel directed at only one target.

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flyy0ufools  asked:

Hi darling Sera :) So I noticed you mentioned that Jared and Jensen ping your gaydar and I was just wondering if you had a few (hundred) examples? They do occasionally ping my gaydar now that I'm a tinhat but they didn't really before (but that means absolutely nothing because mine is like permanently broken). I just want lots of uber-gay J2 pics and gifs, okay? You caught me.

Hello, sweetheart!

Oh my. I should probably start by telling you that the first time I watched a con, I was very shocked with Jared in particular. I thought “This guy is straight?! Huh?” Jensen pings for me too, but in a different way - I think it’s more in connection to his behaviour around Jared and not as much when he’s alone. I think I started picking up the signals from Jensen when I realized that he and Jared are an item. But let’s begin!

Originally posted by jaredbottoms

Ping..?!

Originally posted by jaredbottoms

Ping!

Originally posted by bilosan

PING!

Originally posted by bilosan

Ping-a-fucking-ding!

JFC, ding-a-ling-a-ping!

Originally posted by nothingidputbeforeyou

I mean.. *taps the meter gently* Don’t go breaking on me right now.

Originally posted by berezneva12

Oh hell. *shakes the meter*

Look, if you fall down a stair because your “bestie” is so gorgeous, I’m gonna count it as a massive PING.

Staaaahhhppp! *fiddles with the meter, trying to fix it* *shouts “PING!”*

RUN! My meter is about to explode! *ducks under the table*

No but really. He just… rides that chair and gives Jensen that look. Yes yes, a very fun joke (especially if you’re wearing a buttplug), thank you Jared.

I hope this is gay enough for you! There’s more where these came from, but I’m rather useless without my meter. The electronic “Ping!”-sound is so much nicer to listen to than my voice manually shouting it. I hope your week starts out great, sweetheart!

Bang PD x Yoongi smut scenario

pairing: Yoongi x Bang PD

word count: 657

genre: sMutty smUt  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A/N: This is something I wrote before I started using this blog, and I thought I would share it with y’all, as proof that I always was as stupid as now lmfao now - enjoy this (pls) k bai


Ahhh fuck" Yoongi moaned as Shin Hyuk fingered him in the anus “You have been a very bad boy you slut. How dare I come into the practice room seeing you wearing a tutu with nothing underneath while dancing to Save Me? You have made my dick go from a tic tac to a double sized Eiffel Tower. You better be apologizing to daddy” Pdaddy continued to finger him hard and deep while waiting for an apology “Daddy I’m so so- wait I have to fart” Pdaddy didn’t listen, and let Yoongi fart rainbows. “Good boy, now tell me you will not tease daddy like this again” Pdaddy said while massaging Yoongi’s non-existent bubs “yes daddy I promise! Omg I have to come!” Daddy took his finger out and got his phone out of his pubes  -somehow- and placed his phone on Yoongi’s asshole while playing 2!3!. After a while of the song playing, they both started to cry while Yoongi started grinding to the song. After that, the next song came in and Daddy started singing on Yoongi’s puh “OH YOU TOUCH MY TRALALA MMMM MY DING DING DONG” and Yoongi came Fast and Furious after that. Daddy placed Yoongi on all fours and daddy stripped himself out of his small sized donut boxers. Daddy started grinding his anus on Yoongi’s anus - and Yoongi having a rosebud from all the fingering creates a much nicer friction “ahhh you fucking slut you have such an amazing asshole” after a while of grinding Shin Hyuk told Yoongi their special word, and they both started farting on each other’s asshole for like 10 to 20 minutes. Yoongi moaned to Hong Kong while Bang PDaddy made non-human sounds. “OMG OPPA” “you little bitch, what did you just call me?” Pdaddy turned Yoongi around and placed him on the door knob “that’s right, oppa will make you stay on this doorknob while it’s touching your anus and I will make a show in front of you, so you better not move just a bit on that thing and let me show you how to seduce daddy the right way” Pdaddy finally says while going to the closet. Yoongi could already feel his anus burning with passion as he sees his oppa trying to find something. Daddy picked out a housemaid costume with a blonde wig, and a fake microphone. Oppa got dressed and Yoongi could have exploded at any minute - his oppa looked so dreamy. Daddy took his freshly baked donut and started singing “Best of both worlds” by Hannah Rapmontana while he’s stroking himself with it. “YOU GET THE BEEEST OF BOTH WORLDS, CHILL IT OUT TAKE IT SLOW, THEN YOU ROCK OUT THE SHOW” Yoongi could feel himself getting inpatient by the erotic show in front of him. Daddy started pooping out unicorns as he feels himself growing wet inside his anus.At that moment, Yoongi felt something inside his body (not Bang Pdaddy’s ding a ling). He felt love. He felt like he wanted to spend his life (and sexy nights ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))with him. The music changed to Everyday bro and Daddy got the chair from his desk and placed it on his penis tip. He moaned as he stuck it inside of him. He started screaming the lyrics and Yoongi started screaming for dear lord bc he was being teased so much by his oppa - But he couldn’t care less - Shin Hyuk is really a hot son of a bitch. After a couple more shows and a couple times of Yoongi begging Hoseok for help (inside his mind), daddy slowly approached Yoongi and Yoonie felt like dying - his oppa is so beautiful. Daddy placed his little slut on his belly - while still having the wig and costume on “grind on my belly baby boy – let’s make this night last” Daddy said, enjoying his view, while Cypher part 23 started playing.


now it’s time for me to log out before my mother finds out about this blog

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Stefflon Don FT Skepta - Ding-A-Ling (New)

*the group has disguised a young girl as a boy so she can learn magic in a land where it is forbidden for women to practice magic*

Teacher: Well… if the boy can’t show me a display of his magic, I cannot teach him.

Ranger: I promise she-

Cleric: *cough* HE *cough*

Rangerc -HE has potential, HE just can’t show you any magic right now…

Teacher: Well…. in that case… Boy, strip. Let’s see if there are any health issues.

Monk: What? What is with all the old magic people here with little boys?

Cleric to DM: How well does her disguising ring work? Does Ping have a ding-a-ling?

DM: …Yes. It’s a ping-a-ling.

Ranger: Well… go ahead and strip Ping!

Bowser: Aw, Junior. I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there’s a word for what you are and that word is, uh… now let’s see uh…

Roy: Dork?

Bowser: No, wait! That’s not right. Not a dork. Um…

Wendy: A goofball?

Bowser: Closer, but no no no…

Lemmy: A ding-a-ling!

Iggy: Wingnut!

Kammy: A KnuckleHead McSpazatron!

Bowser: Okay, that’s enough!