digs hole and stays in it

Mom Adopts a “Dog”

So y’all keep blowing up my notes with the various Family Lore stories I’ve been telling, so I guess I should tell one on my parents now.

My Mother’s Father was part of the United Auto Worker’s Union, and during the 50′s and 60′s, was on strike a lot. My point is, grandpa got himself an entirely deserved reputation for being a sucker who loved animals, so people would dump thier pets on him. Hence, my mother grew up in a house with pets such as Picket the one-eyed tomcat, Tweety the Bald canary, Dummy the cat, Stupid Son of Dummy, Spooky Garbage Dog and Chiquita the Tarantula.  Eventually Grandma put her foot down when Grandpa brought home Gerta the Saint Bernard.

I say all this because it provides some context for how the following occured.

Mom and Dad had just moved in together (my parents dated for six years and were engaged for 13 days, driving everyone on both sides insane), and unfortunately, My mother’s German Shepherd, Cops, has just passed away due to bone cancer.  After mourning for a bit, Mom and Dad decided to get a dog together, as a couple.  

For context, my father had never owned a dog in his life.  His mother had ‘Pretty Bird” the budgie as a child but parrots are alien life forms, not pets.

So they go to the Palo Alto Animal shelter to adopt.  The year was 1987, and at the time, Palo Alto was… not a great place.  Lots of drugs, gangs and poor civic managment.  Mom told me that she learned to identify different types of gunfire while living there. They get there, and mom explains that she’s always had a preference for Big Dogs, and the guy’s face lights up.  Oh Yes, he says, We have a Big Dog.  For expirienced owners, yep, adoptable today, here we’ll give you a discount even-

Somehow my parents were not suspicious about this.

They were shown to the Animal in question, a Gorgeous blue-sable beastie with pretty golden eyes who immediately pressed herself against the fence and gave them the best PUH-LEEEEEEASE TAKE ME HOME puppy eyes 100lbs of canine can do.  Mom and Dad fall in love instantly.  They sign all the paperwork and take her home for $10, and name her “Mazel” as in “Mazel Tov.”

Within the hour, it becomes clear that something is amiss.

Cops had lived with his kibble stored in a plastic garbage can in the garage for six years without incident.  Mazel figured out how to open doors and got the locking lid off the can in six minutes, horking down about four pounds of the stuff before my mother notices that it’s been weirdly quiet.  Most dogs bark at or chase squirrels.  Mazel stalked and caught one the second day, presenting it to my mother like an offering.  Mazel knew all her commands but would clearly stop to consider before obeying, and trained my dad to give her good treats within a week.  The locks on the side-yard gate were undone, and she took a stroll around the neighborhood, but always retuned home for dinner.

After a week of gradually realizing that Mazel was smarter than most of the professors my mom worked with, they took her to the Vet for a routine checkup.

Dr. Hamada walked into the exam room, dropped the clip-board and said “Where the HELL did you get a Wolf?”

After a bit of prodding and a very-angry-dr.hamada-calling-the-pound, they determined Mazel was a high-content hybrid, probably with a husky, but was going to be a lil shit her entire life.  OK, said Hamada, I don’t like destroying animals and you’ve got a lot of expirience with dogs, so I’m okay with letting you keep her, but you should keep her away from small children because her Prey Drive could kick in.

Two years later, mom got pregnant with me.

Mazel noticed instantly, and reacted by digging a large hole in the yard and catching even more squirrels for mom, because she needed the protein or something.  That what you do when the Alpha Bitch is preggers, right?  Dig a den and ply her with food?  On the advice of my grandmother, my mom stayed overnight at the hospital once I was delivered, and dad went home with a shirt that had moms and my scent on it.  Mazel spent the whole night puzzling over it.

The next morning, when mom came home with me, there was the sudden and instantaneous recognition of PUPPY!!!!!! :D:D:D!!!!! PUUUUUUUPPY!!!!!!  and Mazel turned into the most aggressively maternal being I’ve ever met.  Playing with me on the blanket, sitting under my chair at meals (I was a messy eater), sleeping under my crib, teaching me to walk by letting me hang onto her fur and shuffle around.

Dr. Hamada thought mom was a madwoman, until he saw me holding Mazel’s mouth open and sticking my face in so i could look at her teeth.  He gave up when my mom announced she was pregnant with my sister.

I’m making living with a Wolfdog sound awesome, but it did come with some drawbacks:

  • Mazel did have to be muzzled at the vets, because she had Opinions about having things stuck up her butt.
  • HAIR.  One of my chores growing up was to brush her out every week and I’d frequently end up with more hair than animal.
  • the only way we could reliably get her to stay in the yard was with an overhead tether with a STEEL cable, which she chewed through anyway.
  • Do you like waking up by being hit in the face with half a dead animal? No? Wolfdogs may not be for you.
  • More than capable of opening the fridge and eating everything if you’re not watching
  • Will get into everything if not otherwise occupied.  Including eating your tax forms.
  • Howls along with sirens at 4 AM.

PROS of growing up with a wolfdog, as a small child in the 90′s

  • I was afforded a degree of freedom normally associated with a pokemon trianer. It was no big deal for me and my sister to walk three miles through my not-really-good neighborhood to the Froyo if I took Mazel with us. People tended to leave us alone when we had 100lbs of overprotective Apex Predator following us around.
  • WINNING at Pet Day at school.  There wasn’t actually a compettion but Billy’s hamster sucks in comparison to an animal that is perfectly willing to demonstrate how she can snap an oak branch in half on command.
  • PTA moms losing their shit because Mazel would walk down the block by herself to come pick ups up from school.
  • Grew up associating the word “Bitch” with teeth and the willingness to rip an asshole’s face off for being rude.  Never changed the definition.
  • Learned the I-Own-This Strut and Murder-Stare from the absolute best.

When she was 17, Mom and Dad decided to add another room on to the house.  They rigged up the overhead tether so she could be outside but not underfoot for the contruction guys.  One morning, mom came out to notice them all milling in the side yard entrance, muttering worriedly.  When mom asked what was wrong, one of them explained that Carlos forgot to bring the Hamburger.  What do you need a hamburger for?  Asked mom, and they pointed down the side yard to where Mazel was sitting, doing her best Viscious Alpha Bitch Stare.

Apparently they’d never realized that she was on the VERY end of her tether there and couldn’t actually get to them, and had been scamming them for a big mac a day for a month.  Mom had my six-year-old sister pull her away to show she wasn’t dangerous and tired her best not to laugh but kind of failed.

Mazel ended up living to be 19 and a half, and except for some minor arthritis, remarkably hale until the day she passed away in her hole in the back yard while taking a nap.  I maintain that Death had to wait until she was sleeping to get a crack at her, or she would’ve taken his scythe for a chew toy.

When Viktor tells Yuri he’s going to fall in love with Otabek, Yuri kicks him in the shin.

Like hell he’d fall in love with Otabek. They may call him the Russian Fairy, but he didn’t think Viktor would take the nickname so literally.

And Otabek is his friend. His best friend. He’s seen enough movies to know that falling for your best friend can hurt.

It’s been years since they’ve met. Years since Otabek rode up and saved him from a mob of Yuri’s Angels (He still doesn’t know why they’re called that when they’re anything but angels). Years since Yuri agreed to be his friend. And still nothing. Yuri knew Viktor was wrong.

In fact, Yuri has stayed for prolonged periods of time with Otabek before and doesn’t feel a thing. He’s staying with him right now. For the past month he’s been crashing at Otabek’s apartment, sleeping in his bed, lounging on his couch, sharing meals at his table.

Today Otabek drags him out of the house and straight to the animal shelter. He tells Yuri he wants a pet, something to keep him company when Yuri is gone. Yuri blinks as he follows along, startled by Otabek’s reasoning.

“It’s not like I don’t call you all the fucking time.”

Otabek shakes his head as they stroll down the endless aisles of cages. “It’s not the same.”

Yuri frowns. He doesn’t understand what that means.

Dogs bark at them from all sides. Yuri flinches when one leaps at the door to his cage, rattling the bars. Dogs are… okay. But Yuri enjoys the quiet, self-sufficient, sassy nature of cats.

Otabek, Yuri thinks, must be a dog person.

“Why don’t you just have someone else come and stay with you?” Yuri continues, moving closer to Otabek as a particularly large dog pants heavily at him from the next cage over. “Like your sister?”

“You know she’s busy with school,” Otabek replies, bending forward to tickle under the chin of a small beagle.

“Tch,” Yuri clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. He turns away from Otabek to watch a dog attempt to dig a hole into it’s fluffy little bed. “Who gives a shit about school?”

“Yura…”

Otabek’s reprimanding voice sounds further away. Like he left Yuri there to ponder the nonexistent logic behind a dog trying to turn it’s bed into a rabbit hole. With a heavy sigh, he turns and his heart stutters in his chest at the sight.

A small kitten dangles between Otabek’s hands, his touch gentle as he lifts her off the ground. Even from a distance Yuri can see the small red collar around her neck marking her as female. Otabek brings her up to his face, lightly pressing his nose against hers. He chuckles when her small tongue darts out to kiss his nose and Yuri swears the entire world tilts on its axis.

He doesn’t know if he can walk anymore. But it doesn’t seem like he has to because Otabek brings the kitten over to him. She glances up from her spot, snuggled against the bend of Otabek’s elbow and the side of his chest. Her eyes are the same color as Yuri’s, the same striking teal that Otabek has already admitted he loves so much.

“I think I found who I was looking for,” Otabek says with a smile. He runs a gentle thumb across the kitten’s cheeks and smiles fondly down at her. “Isn’t that right, girl?”

Yuri turns away as color rises to his cheeks. He’s pretty sure his heart is going to beat its way out of his chest and he can’t help but imagine the smug grin Viktor will wear when he tells him…

“Fuck it all…”

anonymous asked:

what about the stairs in the forests!!! and what doc were you watching and would you recommend?

ok so I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE STAIRS IN THE FORESTS! mainly because I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service, and I Have Some Stories to Tell a) is posted on /r/nosleep so it’s definitely made up, b) the op admits to knowing about David Paulides, and lbr knowing about = being influenced by, so it’s definitely made up, and c) if you read all the way through to the end it stops being even vaguely believable and starts reading like a WTNV transcript, and then he plugs his book, so it’s DEFINITELY MADE UP. however, it is an amazing (read: terrifying) thread, some of it is obviously based on truths/insider SAR knowledge which means a lot of it is probably uncomfortably close to actually being true, and it’s a good Gateway Read into MISSING PEOPLE IN NATIONAL PARKS CONSPIRACY THEORIES, which is where I live now. (plus, if you read this before getting into anything else it imbues every single missing persons case with an unsettling sense of Eldritch horror, which is why I had to turn on three overheads and unfocus my eyes all the way to the bathroom last night at 2am.) 

so yeah, after reading that /r/nosleep thing for the first time I drew a line under it and moved on until SOMEONE (ahem@roundtop) sent me a link to an article called How 1,600 People Went Missing from Our Public Lands Without a Trace (on a legit and sensible outdoorsy people website), like ‘haha, stairs in the forest!’ and I SWAN DIVED DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE. thus: the documentary-watching, staying up till 2am and spending all day today trying to find copies of David Paulides’ books for less than $80 inc. postage. 

THIS DUDE DAVID PAULIDES. he was in law enforcement before, for some reason, deciding to become a ~*~cryptozoologist~*~ and certified gung-ho Bigfoot conspiracy theorist, and through that found out about how many people had disappeared without a trace from National Parks in the U.S., did 7,000 hours worth of digging, and wrote a bunch of books about it. his books are called Missing 411 and are about the ridiculous number of people who go missing in National Parks, the usually weird circumstances around their disappearances, the fact that when people are found (dead or alive) it’s often in places miles and miles and sometimes waaaaay higher up mountains than where they disappeared from, and all sorts of creepy crap to boot. like they can’t get bloodhounds to find a scent, or they find tiny children miles away from where they got lost, barefoot, without a scratch on the soles of their feet, human remains being found years later in places that were search dozens and dozens of times. not to mention the National Parks… People (? I really don’t know enough to be making this post) are aware of what’s happening but don’t keep a list of the people who’ve gone missing on their lands. 

(which is all part of why I’m A Search and Rescue Officer for the U.S. Forest Service is so freaky – enough of it (people being found miles away, kids being found up mountains, the people in charge being cagey about it all) sounds real that you can believe it was actually written by a SAR Officer. heebies!) 

it’s all real nightmare fuel, if you’re the sort of person who is absolutely terrified by all this Scary Forest Disappearing People Unexplainable Deaths stuff, i.e. me. luckily I can’t afford to buy any of them! phew! however, I haven’t let that stop me from a) SCARING MYSELF SHITLESS and b) BECOMING A TIN HATTER, and it shouldn’t stop you either: you can read loads of stuff over at /r/missing411, listen to one of his initial interviews (in which he talks about how he was approached by two park employees in plain clothes who were like ‘please investigate this, there’s SOMETHING going on and it’s so goddamn weird’) on Coast to Coast AM (which is, like, a paranormal radio station… I’m sorry), watch a bunch of Paulides’/CanAm Missing Project’s vids about disappearances on youtube, and listen to hours worth of interviews and late night spooky radio/podcast discussions with Paulides. 

the documentary I thought I was watching was Missing 411, which is based on his books and Kickstarted by the public in 2015, but it turns out that they’re apparently shopping it around at festivals so it’s not out yet. what I was actually watching (and quickly abandoned) was a weird supercut of all of David Paulides’ tv interviews and some cryptozoologist chatter about Bigfoot. Paulides, god love him, never ever SAYS Bigfoot in any of his books, and everything he presents is 100% factually accurate and extensively researched, but… I think we can safely say he thinks it’s Bigfoot. tbh, after reading about Jaryd Atadero I think it’s Bigfoot. I mean, goddamn. 

so, yeah. I’ve finished reading every search and rescue story on this blog (Hunt for the Death Valley Germans is LONG but awesome), I’ve got West of Memphis ready to watch after work tomorrow because I remembered how much I love that case and spooky true crime things, if you have any related LINKS or STUFF about This Shit then REBLOG THIS/MSG ME AND TELL ME, or if you have a copy of a Missing 411 book you wouldn’t mind mailing to me then LET ME KNOW, and in conclusion I can’t believe America is so fucking huge and unkind, goodnight.

lokthaire  asked:

What's a day in the life of juju look like? I'm curious about tegus I hope to one day own one but I'm curious what a normal day looks like. Also how did you come by juju and what made you decide you wanted a tegu?

A typical day for Kaiju goes like this!

8:00 AM: The cage lights come on. I’ve got them on a timer- I am rarely awake at 8 AM. I usually start to get up around 9. I am lazy.

Around 9:30, I finally drag my ass out of bed. By that time, Juju’s dug herself up and is basking. She usually basks and gets nice and warm. I go clean up and then by the time I’m done with that, I usually have about an hour before I have to leave. That’s when I go back and get her and put her in the bathtub. I run the shower for a little bit- she’ll usually go to the bathroom then. I’ll pull her out of there, towel her off, and let her hang out with me until I have to leave. Usually she likes to sit on the rug in the sunbeam. I’ll make breakfast and if I’m having scrambled eggs that day, I might make her one, too.

Then I go put her back in her cage and go to school. She does regular lizard stuff during the day- digs holes, soaks in her tub, climbs on her log- and then I get home and I go in and say hi to her. Usually she rears up on her hind legs and flicks her tongue at me and I’ll get her out of the cage. Sometimes she’ll be napping, so I’ll reach in, give her a good scratch, and come check on her later. Sometimes she’ll be buried and then I leave her alone. This part of the day is always Kaiju-directed; if she wants to stay home, I never force interaction.

But if she wants to come out, she gets some playtime. She likes to roam around the apartment and I’ll usually work with her a little. Right now I’m working on target training, but sometimes it’ll be harness training/acclimation or a feeder puzzle or just a “do what you want” day, depending on how cooperative she’s being. I also usually offer her a little snack around then, too- a small whole prey item, like a fuzzy or pinkie, or a little bit of fruit or fish. Nothing too big, just something little. She doesn’t get a meal every single day- adult tegus shouldn’t have a meal every single day. But on days where she does get a meal, I usually her either f/t whole prey or reptilinks. Sometimes I’ll offer fish or shrimp or scrambled eggs- I vary it a lot. I’ll also offer veggies and greens and sometimes a little bit more fruit- she gets these every time she’s offered food. 

After that, she goes back in the cage while I get work done. It’s important that she’s warm while digesting! It’s also important that she’s in the cage for most of the day- it’s nice and humid in there. She’ll be in there for a while and she’ll usually take a nap in her basking spot. Afterwards, I’ll go in and check on her- sometimes she’s down for the night by then, but other times she’ll be up and about. If I’m gonna watch a movie or something, I’ll just pull her out and we’ll go snuggle. Or I might put her in the bathtub to have a shower or swim. Then I’ll put her away for the night, she tucks herself in, her lights go out, and that’s her day!

As for “why a tegu,” that’s a long story- I wrote it up here!

an introduction to hq!!rarepairadise
  • haikyuu!! rarepairadise: where everything goes
  • [Announcer Voice]: WE EVEN SHIP THE SIDE CHARACTERS.
  • [Tour Guide Voice]: And here, in the corner, we can see those in rarepair hell, who only can wait until others join them and help them out.
  • [Resigned Voice]: Unfortunately, as you can see here, most well-meaning people, in trying to understand the situation and help those in the holes, end up falling in as well. And when they try to dig their way out, they stumble upon new rarepairs. It's a never-ending cycle.
  • *pointing to a vaguely pile-shaped object in the distance*: That there is the canon pile, where we can see fans scavenging for any sign of their ships interacting. Just a fleeting glance is enough!
  • *gleefully*: Isn't this an interesting place? Welcome to Haikyuu!! rarepairadise, and we hope you enjoy your stay here!
Vineyard Vines or Boyfriend Finds?

You are here: Part 1, Part 2

DON’T YOU TELL ME YUURI HASN’T BEEN TO THE OLYMPICS MY BOY IS JAPAN’S ACE OF COURSE HE HAS

2008 olympics babes

Based off of @indiansummersunset and @iverindes preppy trust fund college kid Viktor.   Yuuri is going to be a lot more skilled than when we first saw him in the series so basically. Super good skater + Trust fund Kid Viktor

(I sincerely apologize) 

————————–

Yuuri stared down at the campus map on his phone, despite his glasses he still squinted to try to make sense of the many paths that overlapped each other. He looked up from his phone to see if there were any actual street signs then ruffled his hair and pushed his glasses further up his nose. “What’s the rink called anyways?” His muttered question was answered by a small group of girls all focused on someone out in the field. “It’s Nikiforov Rink.” They answered without even looking in Yuuri’s direction.

He stared down at the phone in his hands again, trying to find Nikiforov Rink, only to let out a frustrated sigh and adjust his glasses. “Nikiforov Rink? Where’s that? I’m going to be late to practice!” None of the girls answered his question but the figure they were focused on turned to look at him. Yuuri swore he could see literal sparkles surrounding the VIneyard Vines clothed man. Everything about him screamed preppy as he jogged across the large field, a frisbee in one hand and a smirk on his face. “Hey you!”

Yuuri looked both ways to see who the guy was shouting at then pointed to himself. “Who, me?”

“Yeah you!” The man jogged over with a bright smile while Yuuri could only think ‘Oh shit’ in his head. “Hey I heard you were lost, Nikiforov Rink right? I can find it on the campus app for you.” He smiled brightly as he held his hand out.

Yuuri looked down at his phone with an uncertain expression then smiled back and handed it to him. “Alright, thank you!”

After the silver-haired man typed for a few seconds he handed the phone back. “Here you go, good luck!” He winked at Yuuri then jogged back over to his friend to resume playing ultimate frisbee.

Yuuri smiled slightly and followed the map to the rink, he did however get sidetracked by a new message on his phone with a new contact.

From: Vik Nikiforov:

Hi Yuuri

My parents build Nikiforov rink

But they built me better

The texts were followed with an obscene number of emojis. Yuuri blushed a bright red then slid his phone into his pocket.

Once Yuuri had made it to the rink he stashed his phone away in his bag and pulled his skates out. He laced them up then pulled his sweatshirt off and walked to the rink side. “Um, Mr. Cialdini?” A tall dark-haired man with a pony tail turned then flashed a bright smile. “Ah Yuuri!”

Yuuri smiled nervously then nodded and bowed. “Thank you for coaching me Mr. Cialdini!”

Celestino smiled as he waved his hands. “No need for that, you can call me Celestino or Ciao Ciao.” Yuuri smiled at that then nodded and gestured to the ice. “Ah, um. May I?”

Ciao Ciao nodded then gestured to the ice excitedly. Yuuri smiled as he took his skate guards off and set them on the barrier next to his glasses. After pushing his hair back he glided out and looked at the other skaters who were there. Since it wasn’t a “Scheduled” practice everyone was free to use the rink however they wanted. As he watched the groups fumble on the ice he practically winced at the way they were digging into the ice and creating holes.

Yuuri took a deep breath then put his wireless headphones in his ears, his phone already playing music that connected to them. Once he found out that the groups basically stayed at the edges of the rink to grip onto the barrier he glided to the center and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath then began to do warm-ups, a few simple laps around the rink and then basic jumps.

After he had warmed up he began to skate, testing out the choreography he had in his head. He sighed as he tried to figure out how to fit everything together into his new program. He spent almost an hour trying to work on choreography before huffing and pushing his hair away from his face.

Ciao Ciao spent the first hour observing and giving comments from the boards before having to leave to go to a meeting on the other side of the campus. Yuuri watched him leave with a sigh then went back to skating, the music changed to his most recent skate that he performed, making him smile and begin to skate as if he was at a competition again.

Yuuri didn’t get the chance to notice that the ice was completely empty, most of the students in the stands watching him. Thanks to another student who began to live record it to the rest of the campus, most of the students who weren’t in classes began to file in.

He had his eyes closed as he glided across the ice with a bright smile going from his step sequence into a quad flip, triple toe loop combination. By the time he finished that combination jump Viktor Nikiforov and his entourage had entered to see the newest skating scholarship winner.

It had almost become a show at the point with how many people came to see him skate, when he transitioned into his biellmann spin more than half of the students gasped as Yuuri did it then began dizzying spins.

Yuuri finished in a few minutes then slid his earbuds out for the first time in about two hours, he almost fell over when he heard cheers coming from the stands. Once he noticed that he was the only one on the ice he had never been so happy for his near blindness after he had his glasses off.

He was a blushing mess as he quickly skated off the ice and put his skate guards on, only to then shove everything in his duffel and quickly rush out of the building.

Chris hummed at Viktor’s side once the newest scholarship kid rushed out of the rink, he turned to talk to Viktor when he noticed that he was still staring at the ice. “Hey Viktor, what do you think of our newest student?”

“Kruto! Did you see how he moved on the ice Chris, we need to bring him on the yacht. Yuri make sure he get’s invited to the next yacht party!” Viktor was interrupted by Yuri Plisetsky yanking his shirt and glaring. “I’m not your secretary old man.”

Viktor simply smiled as he took his sweater off then swung it over his shoulder, keeping it in place with his pointer finger acting as a hook. “So everyone, should we make him part of the group?”

Yuri muttered a dark ‘no’, Chris smirked and said ‘yes’, Georgie was still crying from ‘the beauty of the way he glided across the ice’, and Mila grinned with a ‘yes’. “Okay so we have two for yes one for no and I think a yes from Georgie but I’m not sure. Let’s invite him to frisbee tomorrow too, Yuri, make sure he gets invited to frisbee!”

“I told you I’m not your secretary old man!” Yuri was fuming as he stomped off to his dorm, leaving the four to walk back to their own dorms together.

“So you like Yuuri huh?” Chris saddled up to Viktor side then smirked. “Oh mon ami you should see the way he dances too~!”

Viktor nearly pounced on Chris as he grinned, “He dances too?! Chris he’s so perfect we have to go to his next performance or his next skate. Maybe Mama will let me hold an emergency skating event! We can have some roses there for him and then we can give him other flowers too not just roses right? He might not like roses though so we can give him maybe some lilies? Oh! Wait maybe he’d want a more expensive thing for that! Let’s get him a faberge then right? Any questions? No? Okay we’re going shopping soon then!”

Mila put her finger to her lips as she thought then looked around the campus ground. “Why don’t you just ask him Viktor?”

“But how can I ask him Mila?” Viktor whined while leaning on the redhead then pouted. “Viktor…Viktor he’s right there getting his dorm keys okay?” Viktor perked up at that, his eyes scanning the quad before they landed on the Japanese man walking out of the administrative building.

Viktor rushed over to the Japanese man then flipped his bangs and grinned. “Hey there Yuuri, wanna go on a trip on my daddy’s yacht?” He finished with a hand on his hip and a wink.

Yuuri stammered a few words in Japanese, too flustered to changed to English before shaking his head, his cheeks varying colors of red that spread from his ears.  Viktor’s grin faded slightly as he observed Yuuri before a loud bark could be heard, followed by Yuri’s angry yelling. “Oi! Old man get your dog! Why was he in my room anyways!?”

Viktor turned just in time for his dog, Makkachin, to fly past him and knock Yuuri down. Yuuri let out a loud ‘oof’ then began to giggle as Makkachin licked his face. “V-Vicchan what are you doing- Wait. You’re not Vicchan?” Makkachin let out a bark then went back to licking Yuuri.

“Makka get off of him!” Viktor quickly grabbed Makkachin and dragged him off of Yuuri before holding his hand out. “Sorry about Makkachin, she doesn’t normally do that.”

Yuuri laughed as he sat up then scratched Makkachin behind her ears. “It’s okay, she’s cute.” He played with the poodles large ears before standing up fully and looked down at the packet in his hands. “Well, uh. I going to go find my dorm? Did I say that right?” Yuuri mumbled to himself before shaking his head and quickly rushing off. Shouting a ‘Bye Viktor’ over his shoulder.

“Chris?” Viktor asked his friend without looking at him, his eyes glued on Yuuri as he made his way through the quad.

“Yes, Viktor?” Chris saddled up to his side then smiled.

“I’m gonna date that boy.”

When Yuuri made his way into his dorm he was immediately blinded by balloons flying at his face and then a flash disorienting his vision. “Welcome new roomie!” Yuuri blinked before his vision cleared to see a thai man with hamsters on his shoulders and a phone in his hand.  

“A-Ah, I’m Yuuri!” Yuuri smiled then held his hand out. Phichit grinned as he finished typing then pulled Yuuri into a hug. “I know,I’m Phichit. You know you really should update your insta more often. I need to see pics of my new roomie’s adventures!”

Yuuri laughed slightly then ruffled his hair and maneuvered around the balloons to set his duffel down. “Um, I have all of my stuff in the car if you can help me?”

Phichit grinned as he nodded then practically skipped down the hallway with Yuuri in tow. “We’re going to have so much fun this year Yuuri, sorry I could be at the rink to welcome you but I had a class then.”

“Oh it’s okay I got here late so I left all of my things sitting in the car and just ran down to the rink.” Yuuri laughed slightly then skidded to a stop next to the car with Phicht. “You get to meet Vicchan!”

As soon as the door opened Vicchan bounded out and into Yuuri’s arms, Phichit took a picture of that with a grin then slid his phone into his pocket and went to pet Vicchan before the two turned when they heard a squeal.

“Yuuri that was so cute!” Yuuri turned to see Viktor with a frisbee in his hand and a bright smile on his face. “I didn’t know you had a poodle!”

“I-Uh, yeah?” Yuuri blushed to the tips of his ears as he slightly hid his face behind Vicchan. Viktor jogged over then grinned at Phichit before turning his attention to Yuuri. “He’s cute, what’s his name?”

“Oh. Uh Vicchan!” Yuuri continued to blush in different colors before setting the small poodle on the ground.

Viktor smiled and went to say something before Chris shouted from the field. “Hey Vik throw the frisbee!” He pouted slightly before winking at Yuuri and jogging back across the field. “You’re no fun Chris!”

“Yuuri?” Phichit continued to stare at Viktor as he ran, his pink Vineyard Vines shirt drawing attention to himself.

“Yeah?” Yuuri turned his head to look at Phichit while petting Vicchan who had his head tilted to the side.

“Why did Viktor Nikiforov come talk to you? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Phichit let out a series of incoherent screeching noises while Yuuri blushed and attempted to get his new roommate to stop.


You can find my Ao3 and trash fics here

i. tear yourself apart; watch the pieces fall like confetti. somewhere inside the screams is you, longing to be more.

ii. you dig pieces of yourself out from under your fingernails and flick them away like they’re not who you are. bury them like pieces of saturday-night-party trash, before people start asking questions.

iii. mix champagne and punch and drink it like blood – if your mouth is busy it can’t call for help. you always wanted it this way: fire and wind and gone without a trace.

iv. only i will know where to find you – in a hole in your backyard, buried under too many apologies. but my mouth will stay shut, so you will always be my secret.

—  skeleton boy // abby, day 212
Payback

Here you go, first one of the year! Hope you guys enjoy it, let me know what you think xx

***

Originally posted by ohmygoshharrystyles

There’s a quietness in the room that’s disturbing after all the noise and movement from the night before - you and Harry had come back from Cheshire after spending two weeks with his family for the holidays.

There was chatter and noise all around during those festive days and even though you had skipped a trip to the pub with his hometown friends, allowing him some time for himself and his pals, you had spent the best part of the night in a fierce game of Scrabble with Gemma and Anne, while Robin observed the three of you screaming your heads off about points and game rules you knew nothing about.

Now, back in London post an agitated New Year’s Eve night and after spending the night in your own bed, in the silence of yours and Harry’s place, you realize how much you’ve missed the silence and the calm of your home. Not that you didn’t have fun, you had plenty of that, but being able to snuggle into your boyfriend’s body and not worry about his mother barging in on the two of you is, in fact, a relief.

Your skin is sensitive from the cold and sleep is slipping away, the slightest brush of the covers is enough to make you stir, so, when Harry’s hands brush against your back and your bottom, to fit one of his legs between yours, that’s enough to bring you to consciousness.

“Harr- let me sleep!” You mumble, tucking your face into the crook of his neck and locking your leg around his hip, cuddling in as close as you can manage in your sleep induced stupor.

“Jus’ want a morning cuddle, ’s that so bad?” He croaks, voice rough and scratchy from sleep, his warm hand pressing to your lower back to bring you closer, if that was even possible.

“It is when you didn’t let me sleep with all your snoring…” You gripe, arm lifting up to wrap around his neck, your fingers burying into his soft hair.

“Oi! ‘S not nice!” He prostests, fingers digging into your skin to pull you closer.

It’s early and the room is chilly, the light from the morning slipping through the cracks of your bedroom window, letting you know there’s a new day. You and Harry are both on your sides, clinging to each other as if your life depends on it and you sigh contently – you’re both home at last and you’re ready to spend the next few days between the sheets, but for now, you just want to get back to sleep.

Even though your body is asking for it, it seems your brain is not ready to go back to resting just yet. It’s been minutes of silence and just feeling each other close, but you’ve become painfully aware of the smell of Harry’s skin, the soap and sweat mixed with his perfume enough to make you burrow closer and inhale deeply against his neck.

“What’s that, love?” He asks and you can hear the smile on his voice when you kiss the spot right under his ear.

“You smell good…” Sighing, you squeeze him, nails digging into his scalp when you try and pull yourself closer to him in a painfully tight embrace. Your hips roll forward, your core rubbing softly against his thigh that’s tucked tight against your center. Your breath gets caught in your throat at the sensation. You know it’s ridiculous to feel so much from such a small rub, but it’s been so long… just over two weeks, actually, since the both of you had ben intimate.

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Desperate Times Part 2

I have gotten a million requests to do a part 2 to Desperate Times so here it is finally! Considering the way I left it i may or may not make it a mini series of sorts solely based on the reaction I get from part two! Feedback is GREATLY appreciated and I really hope you guys like this one! 

—————————————————————————————–

Three weeks, four days, 10 hours, and 48 minutes. That’s how long it had been since your lovely father had traded you for drugs. Things were the same with Mr. J. You mostly kept to yourself and only spoke when necessary. No apology came from him in regards to the slap but you weren’t too torn up about it. 

“Y/N, you’re coming to the club with me tonight,” he said, breaking you from your thoughts. 

“No I’m not,” you answered. 

“Oh yes you are,” he retorted. “you don’t really have a choice. You rolled your eyes and nodded turning back to the crossword you were doing. 

“Why?” you inquired, curious as to why he was so set on you coming. 

“You haven’t left the house since you’ve been here, plus there’s someone I want you to see,” he said with a silver smile. “The dress you’re going to wear is on your bed. Also, stop rolling your eyes at me doll.” 

After a nice nap you looked at the clock and found that it was time to start getting ready. The dress he had given you was more of a t-shirt than anything. You couldn’t deny that it was a pretty dress though. Simple black, long sleeves, and a cutout that let you see a good amount of your cleavage. Bless for pushup bras, you though to yourself. Your look for the night was simple, a smokey eye matched with dark red lips. 

You stumbled down the stairs in the heels that were entirely too high for your liking. 

“Mmm kitten don’t you look sexy.” His voice sounded behind you. You turned and noticed that his burgundy dress shirt that adorned his torso matched the same deep red as your lips. He looked good, you had to admit. You mentally kicked yourself for being attracted to a psychopath. 

“Thank you. We going?” You wanted to get this night over with as soon as possible. You hated him, you hated this, you hated your dad, you just hated everything. You just wanted to runaway but you were smarter than that, you knew that if you tried then you might as well start digging your grave. He nodded and pulled you towards his signature purple lamborghini. 

“I can’t wait for you to see your surprise,” he said giddily. You stayed silent, obviously nervous of your “surprise”. You quickly pulled up to his club and he pulled you out of the passenger side, dragging you in to the thumping music. “Ooh he’s here Y/N. Your surprise is here!” You stared at him confused. You scanned the room searching for anyone that you might recognize. He led you to his private section and you plopped down on the couches as some of his goons strode in. 

“He’s here boss. Want us to bring him in?” his deep voice spoke. 

“Yes. Oh gosh I can’t wait doll.” You winced at the pet name he had chosen. A man was pushed in to the room. A man you knew all too well. 

“Dad?” Your eyes widened. 

“Y/N? Oh god Y/N. What have I done.” He stepped forwards to hug you before he was pulled back roughly. “Give her back Joker,” he begged. 

“Hmm let me think about that. No. We made a deal John. Your addiction for your lovely daughter,” he declined. 

“Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything, any-” 

“Do you actually think I want to go with you? You fucking sold me to a notorious psychopath murderer for drugs,” you interrupted. 

“Please Y/N.” You saw the tears forming in his pathetic eyes. 

“It was your choice John.She’s mine now. And oh how I love having her, if you know what I mean.” He dropped his left eye in to a dramatic wink. Next thing you knew there was a gun aimed at your captor. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you John, don’t be stupid,” Mr. J warned. The bang of a gun sounded before you heard the sharp intake of breath from the man beside you. “I gave you a chance John but you were stupid.” A second shot rang and you saw your fathers body collapse. You shot up from the couch and ran towards the nearly deceased man on the ground. 

“No dad, no. No, no, no, this can’t be happening.” You turned you head and looked at the Joker. “What did you do? What did you do!” you yelled. Your attention was turned back to your father. His empty brown eyes were fluttering as he desperately held on to his life. 

“I’m sorry Y/N,” he mumbled before his eyes drifted closed. Your tears dripped on to his bloody chest as you let out a sob, staring at the dead body of the man you once knew as your father. 

“Well that was lame. Time to go princess,” he interrupted your moment. 

“Fuck you. Fuck you, you heartless bastard…” He deserved it. He was barely a father. He always picked the drugs over you. Fuck him, fuck everyone. As if he read you mind he snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“He deserved it Y/N. You know that.” His voice had softened as his eyes bore in to yours. 

“I know. He deserved everything that came to him,” you admitted quietly. You looked over at him fully. “You’re hurt,” you observed. His left shoulder was bleeding making his already dark red shirt even darker. “Lets get home, I’ll clean it up.” 

                           ——————————————–

“Jesus. Will you stay still? You’re making it worse,” you said as you carefully searched for the bullet. 

“Oh sorry Y/N, let me just shoot you then dig through your bullet hole to see how still you’ll stay,” he retorted sarcastically. 

“Well it wouldn’t hurt as much if you would just stop moving.” You yanked the bullet out making him wince. 

“Ow.” You chuckled and reached for the gauze and tape. 

“I’m just gonna patch it up and you’ll be as good as new.” You smiled at him. He grunted in acknowledgement. 

A while later he sat in his bed shirtless staring at his phone. You stood in the door way admiring his muscular tattooed chest. He really was quite good looking if you looked past all the psycho he eluded. 

“It’s rude to stare doll,” he said, grabbing your attention. 

“Oh, uhm sorry. I just came to see how your shoulder’s doing. I’m going to re-wrap it.” He nodded and you walked over to the side of his bed, taking a cautious seat beside him. 

“You can come closer doll. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to.” He winked at you causing a blush to creep over your cheeks. You scooted closer to him, carefully removing the bloodied bandages. His eyes squeezed shut as you dabbed disinfectant on the bullet hole. 

“He’s dead. I can’t believe he’s dead,” you said quietly while wrapping the new gauze around his shoulder. A tear slid down your cheek. “I mean I know he deserved it but I can’t believe he’s actually dead. You focused on his shoulder as a distraction. 

“Don’t cry doll. He sold you to a psychopath.” He grinned at his words. You let out a half-hearted chuckle, a tear falling on to your lap. You shook your head in an attempt to rid him from your thoughts. You taped the last of the gauze and gave him a light pat on the back. 

“Alrighty, good to go, I’ll replace it again in the morning.” You made a move to stand up but he grabbed your hand and encouraged you to take your seat beside him. 

“Where’d you learn to do all this?” he inquired. 

“Well I’ve had to patch my dad up so much that I kinda had to learn. Gotta say, I’ve practically saved his life a couple times. I should be a nurse,” you chuckled, “I’ve actually always wanted to be a nurse but college is expensive and I wouldn’t even be able to get in anyway but a girl can dream right?” He stared at you in silence and the room grew uncomfortably quiet. You stood up again only to be pulled back down to his side. 

“I’m sure you would get in. You probably got great grades. You’re a smart girl Y/N.” 

“Well I didn’t even graduate. Was always too busy taking care of my dad that I could never go to school. I missed so much school that I ended up just dropping out when I was 15. I couldn’t leave him alone.” He looked furious, such a drastic change from his gentle behaviour previously. 

“What a bastard. You had to grow up too fast Y/N because or your jack ass, douche bag, addict of a father. I’m fucking glad I killed his sorry, pathetic ass. You deserved better Y/N.” He surprised you when he pulled you in to his side and placed a wet kiss to your temple. His kinda gesture sent a strange feeling throughout your body, unsure of how to react. You decided to take advantage of his good mood and leaned in to his uninjured shoulder. 

“Well I should head to bed. See you in the morning J,” you said as you slid off the plush bed. 

“No, stay in here with me tonight. Y’know, for health reasons.” You stared at him with a confused expression. “In case anything happens to my shoulder.” His quick cover up made you giggle. 

“Yea. Sure. Okay. Y’know, for your shoulder.” You smiled as you slid back in next to him. He pulled you in tightly to his side. 

“Goodnight Y/N.” 

“Goodnight J.” 

Creatures | Prologue

Prologue.

Muses: Jeon Jungkook ft. Kim Taehyung & Park Jimin x Reader.
Genre: Fluff.
Words: 2.1k
Type: Hybrid AU / Watashi no Ookami-kun AU.

Description: In hopes of an invigorating change of scenery, you set out for a three hour drive to the small town outside of the city where your grandmother lives, thinking this is your escape from the ever evolving globalization and capitalism but little do you know what awaits within these forest bounds.


The universe must really hate you. 

First, the inconsistent reception in the area that hangs on a thin thread since you stepped out the yellow cab. Second is the arduous journey that is almost humanly impossible to accomplish ─ in heels. Third is said reception dying out from one bar to a big obese no service staring back at you in a face-rubbing mockery, you’re on your own, loser! as you ascend further away from civilization and into the ominous green and matted brown that lies ahead. And last, the scorching hot summer heat should be far cooler than away from the hustle and bustle of the city life and towering skyscraper, but no, it’s still 34567887654 degree out here. You’re basically melting.

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shout the lyrics out, spit them out and stomp them into the ground, mash them into the dirt under your steel toed boots, mash and mash and mash, until your ankles hurt
run and run away, run away, until the town recedes into the horizon behind you, until you hear that train whistle in the distance, until you know you’re allowed to scream because the only living things that’ll hear you are the trees
run and run away, run away, until your ankles hurt
—  i tell these things to myself but i never listen to anything i say // i whisper the lyrics, caress them gently, and i stay in the same place, in this hole i’m digging for myself
6

UNSPKN part 15

Where Papyrus flares up again.

Set after the events of “Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach” fanfiction, comic will focus on beloved skelebros and their great need of psychotherapy after all that happened.

Also it’s not a spoiler, it’s just my version of (another) epilogue. Heh.

Prev - Next

First

Original fanfic - here

Misunderstanding

Castiel x Reader

A/N: Sorry it’s so short, I wasn’t quite sure on what to write for this one.

Request: Hi! I was gonna ask if you could write an imagine where Castiel finds the readers bras and thinks they are some kind of weapon and asks her why she has weapons in her dresser and she gets all flustered and awkwardly explains to him what they are and how it’s not used as a weapon.

Warnings: Season 5 Cas, fluff

Word count: 425

Originally posted by magneticcas

You said your goodnight’s to Sam, Dean, and your Uncle Bobby before heading upstairs to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You could have sworn you heard something rustling as you passed your bedroom, but ignored it and continued to the next room.

Picking up your toothbrush, you ran it underneath the tap to wet the bristles before placing a touch of toothpaste on and running it under the water once more. “Y/n?” Castiel’s gruff voice nearly scared you to death. “Why do you have an abundance of weapons hidden in your bedroom?” You rose an eyebrow, ready to explain you only had a silver knife and a gun but you froze in shock as you saw what he was holding in the mirror.

“Cas!” You shrieked, quickly stealing the undergarment from his hands. He looked up at you with confused eyes, wondering what he might’ve done wrong. “T-that’s not a weapon, you dork.”

His eyebrows furrowed in even more confusion, his head tilted to the right. “What are they used for then?”

Cheeks reddening in embarrassment, you wanted to dig a hole and hide away. If Sam or Dean could hear this conversation they’d never let you live this down. “T-they’re used to support my…c-chest.” You murmured, your eyes falling down to the tiled floor. You were definitely going to lock your bedroom door next time.

You looked back up at the angel, your eyes narrowing at him. “Hey! Eyes are up here.” You waved your hand in front of his face, watching his bright blue eyes snap from your chest back to your own eyes. “Just…stay away from my stuff, alright?”

“I don’t understand how they can supp-” 

“Castiel!” You said, louder. “I am not having this conversation with you.” You murmured, completely embarrassed by now.

“I just want to know how they can manage to support your chest, Y/n.” 

Giving up on brushing your teeth, you fled back to your bedroom and locked the door before Castiel came in again. You had no idea why he was in your room to begin with, but you weren’t going to let him get his hands on your bras again. Hiding them underneath a bunch of other clothing, you threw yourself under your blankets and tried to ignore the laughter coming from downstairs followed by Castiel’s confused voice. “She wouldn’t tell me, did I do something wrong?” The heat rose back up to your cheeks and you nervously bit your lip, praying that nobody would bring it up tomorrow morning, but that was false hope.

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Iris (Matt Murdock x Reader)

Originally posted by tallyiaboo

Love is a simple four letter word, but that didn’t stop it from being so damn complex. The entire prospect of love wound you up until your eyes formed hearts and your stomach resembled butterflies. Love made your cheeks stain red and heart beat twice as fast. Love pained deep down to your gut when you knew it wasn’t mutual.

You happened to fall in love with the most complex of men, Matthew Murdock. He withheld such a difficult beauty that trapped him in four walls that he kept up to most people. Except you. He opened up to you so calmly. In fact, you were one of the first to know about his vigilante alias. He trusted you to accept this second persona, as crazy and dangerous as it is.

And you did, you accepted the fact that he couldn’t just sit back and let his city be ripped apart. To be honest, if you had the same abilities that he possessed, you would do the same thing. Matt was as blind as grass was green, but that didn’t stop him from doing good in the world. The world needed some good.

With loving him, came many consequences that kept you in disarray. Undeniably, there was always a bubble of threat around your life. There as always something to protect you from. You were also the only one he trusted to cater for his injuries despite the fact that you were just a pianist.

So, when Matt showed up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, full to the brim of bruises and blood, you knew what you needed to do.

You shuffled towards your front door, clad in your sweats, tank top and fluffy socks, preparing yourself for the sight. It all got a lot worse when you actually saw him. His suit had a small tear in the lower torso, hinting that he was shot.

“I need your help,” He groaned, his hand pushing pressure on his badly wounded torso.

“I think these are a bit out of my reach, do you want me to call Claire? Or even Foggy?”

Matt winced as he shook his head, attempting to stand up straight from leaning on your wooden door frame, “Claire means hospitals, hospitals mean a revelation. I just need your help and a steady pair of hands.“

He hooked his arm around your shoulder and you slowly led him over to the bed in your stylish studio apartment. When he finally lowered down onto the white sheets, you quickly reached up and pulled your hair into a messy ponytail before shoving as many towels as you could find onto the bed, to minimise the bleeding.

“I can’t do this, Matt. Please, let me call Claire,” You protested, rushing off to grab a first aid kit.

“(Y/N), you can do this, okay? I will talk you through it, but please get this goddamn bullet out of me,” He begged, hand finding yours and giving it a squeeze. Sweat was merging with blood on his forehead, pooling in the creases of his furrowed forehead. As your gaze quickly shifted to his, you noticed his eyes beginning to droop closed.

“No no no no, stay with me for this. You’ve gotta stay awake, Matty.”

He just nodded weakly, lacing his bruised fingers in the fabric of your white bedsheets, “Tweezers, (Y/N). You need tweezers to- ah!- dig into the wound and get the bullet out.”

You grabbed the long tweezers, lowering them to hover over his wound, your once shaking hands now somewhat still despite being as nervous as hell, "Right.”

Matt took your free hand, pressing a kiss to your knuckles as you took a deep breath, pushing the tweezers into his bullet-hole. First he let out a low hiss, squinting in pain. Then, he began screaming. His hands clung to the sheets, his bruised face crumpled up in agony. His screaming drew to an end when you had successfully retrieved the bullet and all metal had been removed from his body. Sewing up and cleaning the wound was no problem to either of you.

That was three hours ago.  The pair of you were on the sofa- the only sound being the washing machine that was washing your bloody sheets and the clock, ticking four-am. You sat, criss-crossing your legs and running your hand through his dark head of hair, which was in your lap.

You wanted to sleep, but had too much adrenaline to do so. Matt wanted, and needed, to stay awake, but his energy failed him.

You had placed your mug of tea on the coffee table and sat back on your sofa when he had risen from his spot in the bed, shuffling over to you.

In the process of moving to curl up on the couch with the potential love of his life, he hit his shin on the glass coffee table in your open plan lounge. “Shit!”

“Jeez, that tables been there for years.” You spoke through a quiet chuckle, standing up to help him.

Matt laughed weakly, allowing you to lead him onto the couch where he (slowly) collapsed into your lap, “(Y/N), i’m blind.”

“Woah, no way! Really?” You teased, “How many fingers am i holding up?” You didn’t bother to actually hold your hand up, just trailed your fingertips over Matts forehead and hairline.

“Did you seriously just ask a blind guy how many fingers you were holding up?”

“Yeah. Deal with it,” You smiled softly, hands moving to push through his hair, nails barely scraping on his scalp. The strands of his brown hair weaved around your fingertips and you fiddled with it softly, bringing the conversation to a close. The silence remained lingering for a few minutes, but not at any point did it become awkward. It was comforting to hear your heartbeat, and soft breathing.

Matt was the one who broke it, “Will you sing to me?” He asked.

“Sing?” You murmured, running your thumb over his cheekbone, “What’d you want me to sing?”

He just shrugged gently, his hands folded on his stomach, over where his bullet wound was. You took a quiet breath, your voice clear and warm through the cold room and late of the night.

And I’d give up forever to touch you, cause I know that you feel me somehow,” You started tentatively, pulling the sleeves of your cardigan down to cover your hands before carrying on, “You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and I don’t want to go home right now.”

Matt had closed his eyes, yet he didn’t fall asleep. He was listening to your voice, admiring it, indulging in it. “And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life, and sooner or later it’s over. I just don’t wanna miss you-”

You looked down at him, the bags beneath his eyes that were barely recognisable under all of the cuts and bruises that scattered his face like constellation. You looked down at him, the adams-apple in his throat bobbing as he swallowed, mind drowning in thoughts of you. You looked down at him, realising something. Something pivotal, something beautiful. You were in love.

“-tonight.”

Matt was in love too. In love with the undeniable care you held for him. In love with the voice, with the laughing and the crying. In love with the beauty inside you that even a blind man could see clearly. He was in love with. He was in love with you.

And I don’t want the world to see me, cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.

So maybe right then on that day, in that very moment, it would have been the perfect time to kiss. She would blush and he would smile and then they’d fall asleep until eleven am, wrapped up in each others arms. That’s not what happened, not then anyway. It was four thirty fell asleep shortly after her song, in her freshly made bed. It was five thirty when she finally fell asleep, tucked under a blanket on her sofa. It was eleven am when they woke, but their kiss never came until another week and a half of events.

That’s a different story.

Girl Meets The Jellyfish Pact
  • This scene is inspired by another episode of friends.
  • Location: Minkus Family Beach House.
  • The gang just arrived at Farkle's family beach house for the weekend. Everyone takes their suitcases to their rooms except Maya who crashes on the couch and falls asleep. Everyone arrives back to the living room.
  • Riley: What's everybody's plan today?
  • Farkle: I'm going to the beach.
  • Zay: Me too.
  • Riley: Can I come?
  • Farkle: Of course.
  • Riley: (looks at Lucas, Smackle, and Maya) How about you guys?
  • Smackle: I'm going to stay here and read.
  • Lucas: I'll just walk around.
  • Riley: Maya?
  • Maya is snoring loudly.
  • Farkle: See you guys later.
  • Everyone leaves.
  • Location: Beach.
  • Riley is laying on a towel. Farkle is sitting in a beach chair while Zay is digging a hole in the sand.
  • Farkle: There's a Zombie Apocalypse, I'm the only man left, would you date me?
  • Riley: If you were the only man left, maybe.
  • Zay: Hey, guys look at my hole.
  • Farkle: Wow, what a waste of time.
  • Riley: Don't listen to him Zay, it's a nice hole.
  • Zay: Thank you Riley.
  • Zay sticks his tongue out at Farkle.
  • Farkle: You know the Tide's just going to fill it up with water.
  • Zay: That's not going to happen. I made sure that we were far enough away from the ocean before I started digging.
  • The tide brings the water to the beach filling up the hole Zay made.
  • Zay: Damn.
  • Riley jumps up.
  • Riley: Ow! Ow! Ow!
  • Zay: Are you in pain?
  • Riley: No, I always say ow for no reason.
  • Farkle: What happened?
  • Riley: I think I got stung by a jellyfish.
  • Farkle: We should get you back to the house.
  • Riley: It hurts too much to walk.
  • Zay: And I'm tired from digging that hole.
  • Farkle: Then what should we do?
  • Zay: I was watching Discovery channel and-
  • Farkle: Wait, you watch the Discovery channel?
  • Zay: It was by accident.
  • Riley: Is there a point to the story? I'm going to pass out from the pain.
  • Zay: The point, before I was rudely interrupted, was you have to pee on the jellyfish sting.
  • Riley: What?
  • Farkle: He's right. The ammonia is supposed to kill the pain.
  • Riley: I'm not peeing on myself. I rather just deal with the pain.
  • Riley starts walking back to the house and stops.
  • Riley: Ow! Ow!
  • Riley turns around to face Farkle and Zay.
  • Riley: Fine. I'll do it. But you can't watch.
  • Farkle holds up a blanket to cover Riley. Riley tries multiple positions so she can pee on the sting.
  • Riley: Um, guys, I can't do it. I can't bend that way.
  • Farkle: What are we going to do?
  • Riley: One of you have to do it.
  • Farkle: Not it.
  • Zay looks at Riley and Farkle.
  • Zay: Aw man.
  • Location: Beach House.
  • Maya, Lucas, and Smackle are playing cards. Riley, Farkle and Zay rushed in.
  • Riley: I'm going to take a shower and stay in there forever.
  • Riley leaves.
  • Maya: What happened?
  • Farkle: (talking fast) Nothing happened. Why would you asked that? Who told you stuff happened? Stop giving me the third degree.
  • Farkle leaves.
  • Maya looks at Zay.
  • Zay: I got nothing.
  • Zay walks away.
  • The next day.
  • Riley, Farkle, and Zay are eating breakfast. They won't look each other in the eyes.
  • Maya, Lucas and Smackle walk in.
  • Maya: This is ridiculous. You guys won't even look at each other. Something happened on that beach and we demand to know what it is now.
  • Farkle: We made a pact to never talk about it.
  • Riley: It stays in the past.
  • Zay: It's buried in the hole I digged.
  • They get up and try to leave but Maya, Lucas, and Smackle blocks the doors.
  • Lucas: No one is leaving until you tell us what happened.
  • Riley looks at Farkle and Zay. They nod.
  • Riley: Fine, we'll tell you.
  • Maya: Start from the beginning.
  • Zay: It started on a stormy Sunday afternoon.
  • Maya: What?
  • Zay: You said start from the beginning. I'm telling you about the day I was born.
  • Maya: I meant about what happened on the beach, you maroon.
  • Zay: Oh.
  • Riley: We were on the beach.
  • Zay: I was digging a hole. It was the biggest hole I ever dug.
  • Farkle: He was so proud of himself.
  • Zay: (smiling) I was.
  • Riley: Then the tide came.
  • Zay: And it destroyed my hole.
  • Riley: And a jellyfish stung me.
  • Farkle: Riley was in too much pain to walk. So Zay remembered something he watched on tv.
  • Zay: I was watching the Discovery channel-
  • Lucas: You were watching the Discovery channel? Were you watching channels by accident again?
  • Zay: Yeah.
  • Smackle: I saw the same show. They said...
  • Smackle pauses and looks at Riley.
  • Smackle: Ewww!!!
  • Maya and Lucas: What?
  • Smackle: She peed on herself.
  • Maya and Lucas: Ewww!!!!
  • Riley: I tried and failed. I couldn't bend that way. So I asked Farkle and Zay to pee on me.
  • Farkle: And I said no.
  • Maya, Lucas, and Smackle looks at Zay.
  • Zay: That's right. I stepped up to the plate. I took one for the team. I peed on Riley. I would peed on everybody.
  • Riley: How did you take one for the team? I was the one being peed on. And you didn't even peed on me.
  • Smackle: You didn't?
  • Zay: (looks down) No, I'm a fraud. It was too much pressure. Performance anxiety.
  • Maya: Then who peed on Riley?
  • Farkle raises his hand.
  • Farkle: I did. I kept aiming everywhere but the foot.
  • Everyone laughs.
  • Riley: It wasn't funny. Starting now, we'll never speak of this again. We're taking this to our grave.
  • Everyone: Agreed.
  • The next day.
  • Location: Topanga's.
  • Farkle: About that Zombie Apocalypse.
  • Riley: Dude, never going to happen. You will always be the idiot that peed on me.
  • Farkle: Fair enough.
  • The end.