dignity

Tu non sei l'eccezione, tu sei la regola.
E la regola dice che se un uomo non ti chiama, è perché non vuole chiamarti.
Se ti tratta come se non gliene fregasse un cazzo, è perché non gliene frega un cazzo.
Se ti tradisce, è perché non gli piaci abbastanza.
Non esistono uomini spaventati, confusi, disillusi, non esistono uomini tragicamente segnati dalle passate esperienze, bisognosi d'aiuto, bisognosi di tempo, gli uomini si dividono in due categorie soltanto: quelli che ti vogliono e quelli che non ti vogliono, tutto il resto è una scusa.
E Tu, tu, donna, di mestiere fai l'avvocato, la commessa, la cameriera, l'insegnante, la casalinga, la commercialista, la modella, la ragioniera, l'attrice, la studentessa, non la crocerossina, quindi aspetta che sia lui a chiederti di uscire, perché va bene la parità dei sessi, le quote rosa, e l'eguaglianza dei diritti, ma i tempi non sono poi così cambiati.
Gli uomini restano pur sempre dei cavernicoli sia pure incravattati e come tali adorano il sapore della conquista.
Tieniti lontana dagli uomini sposati, non lasceranno la moglie per te, meno che mai lasceranno i figli per te.
E non credere alla storia dell'amica della sorella di tua cugina, appena convolata a nozze con quello divorziato, tu non sei l'eccezione, tu sei la regola.
Al bando quelli che ti costringono ad aspettare ore accanto ad un telefono che non suona, non hanno perso il tuo numero, non hanno investito un cane, non hanno appena scoperto di avere un tumore alla prostata.
Probabilmente sono al telefono con un'altra. Oppure sono gay. Fanculo quelli che non declinano i verbi al futuro, non sono analfabeti, semplicemente non vogliono impegnarsi perché non gli piaci abbastanza. Li riconosci facilmente, girano con un cartello appeso al collo e la scritta: “Ci stiamo frequentando”.
Quando la senti, scappa, non consumare le tue belle scarpe nuove (e neppure quelle vecchie) per correre dietro un uomo che non ti vuole. Usale, piuttosto, per prenderlo a calci in culo.
Impara l'arte dell'essere donna.
Impara l'arte di ottenere dagli uomini quello che desideri, non sbattendo i piedini, ma facendogli credere che siano stati loro a decidere.
Impara a scegliere, invece che essere scelta
—  La verità è che non gli piaci abbastanza.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect

Even if they’re cisgender
Even if they’re heterosexual
Even if they’re gay
Even if they’re transgender
Even if they’re white
Even if they’re black
Even if they’re Mexican
Even if they’re Asian
Even if they’re male
Even if they’re female
Even if they’re progressive
Even if they’re conservative
Even if they’re old
Even if they’re young
Even if they’re smart
Even if they’re dumb
Even if they have mental illnesses
Even if they don’t have mental illnesses
Even if they have physical disabilities
Even if they are perfectly healthy
Even if they’re a single mom
Even if they’re a single dad
Even if they’ve had an abortion
Even if they’re against abortion
Even if they’ve contemplated suicide
Even if they love animals
Even if they hate animals
Even if they’re vegan
Even if they’re vegetarian
Even if they love meat
Even if they’re fat
Even if they’re thin
Even if they’re in shape
Even if they aren’t in shape
Even if they’ve had an eating disorder
Even if they’ve never struggled with weight
Even if they’re religious
Even if they’re atheist
Even if they’re cultured
Even if they’re very sheltered.


Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

Humans Are Weird (Pride)

Another « humans are weird » thing! So, what if humans are known throughout the universe for being extremely prideful and stubborn. Of course, all aliens have some self-esteem, dignity and will defend their opinion, but humans just bring it to another level. Like, imagine something broke on the spaceship, but the mechanic is really busy and they can’t fix it before a good hour. One of the humans aboard just goes “Don’t worry, I’ll fix it!”, tries to repair the broken part and will not accept ANY help because he can “do it by himself”.
After 3 hours of work
Alien: hum…Human-Thomas, you can get out of here now. The mechanic finished his previous job 2 hours ago, he’ll take care of it.
Human: Then tell him *pulling on something* urg…to work on something else! *trying to grab the hammer* I can totally handle this alone*stands up and hits his head on a pipe* ow!
Alien: Human-Thomas I think I would be wiser to let the mec-
Human: I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

Learn to love the fool in you, the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes, loses often, lacks self control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects you against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom you also harbour and who would rob you of human aliveness, humility and dignity but for your fool.
—  Theodore Issac Rubin

The signs are more stagnant, passive planes of energy whereas the planets are more active vehicles of it. The planets operate through the signs, but something that is frequently disregarded (on Tumblr) is the fact that the signs also operate through the planets – they have to, or else they would solely be, and in quite a bland, distant sense. Following this concept, dignity & debility should be understood as affecting both the planet and the sign involved.

Domicile means “home.”
Planets in their ruling sign are at home, in their natural habitat; they can exist freely, organically, without intrinsic nor extrinsic tension/resistance. Signs that possess their ruling planet are granted the perfect opportunity to present themselves in us & in the world – their planet provides a safe, comfortable platform for manifestation, and they are fountains of energy in the chart, free-flowing due to being built on something they understand and own and are.

Detriment means “harm” or “impairment.”
Planets in the opposite of their ruling sign are lost, damaged by the strain of trying to express themselves through the lack of ease, acceptance, or stability. There’s a disadvantage, a struggle due to discomfort. Signs that possess the ruling planet of their opposites are not equipped with the proper capacity or space they need to function well, or even normally. The planet doesn’t get along with them, so there can be a bit of chaos or lack of direction involved in their manifestation. There is no secure path; they have to draw their own, and it will only work if they learn to cooperate & genuinely converge with the planet.

Exaltation means “honor.”
Exalted planets & signs are raised to their highest possible power, ennobled, given the space and dynamism to stand proudly as the best versions of themselves. They are both optimized and elevated, in an energetic and archetypal sense; there is no holding them back because they have everything they need to be everything they are in the strongest, most effective, most influential, and most engaged way they can manage. They’ve been “charged” so to speak, and they’re ready to manifest to the fullest.

Fall means “defeat.”
Fallen planets & signs are devastated, shrunken and belittled, exhausted; they are weak and small, with the life sucked out of them by the challenges they face. They’re crushed because they have been thrust into struggles they were not prepared for. They aren’t allowed to rest; it’s perpetual strife, constant effort poured into a seemingly futile cause. Existence drains them because they’re pitifully unready and poorly poised; they lack the force to pull through to the other side on their own, so they will end up being dragged.

You can’t live the life you have & the life you want at the same time. You have to choose one. You have to change your habits completely.

Decide who it is you want to be, life is going to demand something entirely different for each decision.

Alot of people want to be successful but aren’t willing to give up the good for the great. They don’t want to live average lives, but maintain average habits. They want to work 40 hours a week, but not 80 to live their dreams.

Chasing your dreams isn’t a part time hustle. It’s more like 2 full time jobs. Living a few years, how others won’t- to spend the rest of your life how others dream.

Don’t let people fool you with their words and intentions. Don’t guide yourself by the habits of those who aren’t where you want to be. The road to success is a lonely one. We all have different obstacles to over come, and you need as little distractions in your life as possible.

Disabled presenters tend to face really intense ableism. One way this plays out is that audiences laugh at us when we talk about serious things.

This happens particularly frequently when:

  • Nondisabled professionals or our parents are also on the panel, or presenting right before or after us.
  • The audience is primarily parents of disabled children/adults.
  • The audience is primarily professionals who work with people with intellectual disabilities.
  • We talk about a desire to be taken seriously.
  • We discuss our objections to being treated like children.
  • We describe being proud of a personal accomplishment.
  • We describe being treated inappropriately by a professional.
  • We describe how we felt as disabled children.

When audiences do this, it’s not nice laughter. It’s a way of asserting power. That laughter means “I don’t have to take you seriously”.

As a disabled presenter, it’s often possible to insist on respect. It’s easier said than done. It gets easier with practice, but the practice often hurts. Here are some things I’ve found helpful:

It can help to remind yourself that you know what you’re talking about, and the things you’re saying are important:

  • You’re presenting because you know what you’re talking about.
  • People should take your expertise seriously. When you talk about the things you know, they shouldn’t laugh at you.
  • Your accomplishments are not a joke. People should not laugh or be condescending about them.
  • People who treat you like a baby are doing something wrong. Your desire to be treated in an age-appropriate way is not a joke. People shouldn’t laugh at you for talking about it.

When an audience laughs at you, it can help to make it uncomfortable for them:

  • Don’t smile, and don’t laugh yourself.
  • Wait for the audience to stop laughing. 
  • Wait a second before going on to make it feel awkward. 
  • One option: Ask the audience “Why is that funny?” then continue.
  • Another option: Repeat what you said before people started laughing.

Try to avoid nervous laughter and nervous smiles:

  • It’s taboo for disabled people to talk about disability.
  • Talking about taboo topics can be embarrassing.
  • When we’re talking about embarrassing things, it can be natural to smile or laugh nervously.
  • If you seem embarrassed, the audience is more likely to feel like the topic is embarrassing and laugh to get rid of the embarrassment.
  • If you laugh, the audience is more likely to feel like it’s ok for them to laugh.

Making jokes on purpose:

  • Making jokes can be a way to control what people are laughing about.
  • This can be easier than getting them to not laugh in the first place. 
  • In these contexts, it can be better to avoid self-deprecating humor. 
  • It’s usually better to make jokes about ableism.
  • (This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule though, do what works for you.)

For instance, say you’re giving a talk about educational discrimination:

  • This is self-deprecating: 
  • “I was this ridiculous little kid in third grade. I was so enthusiastic, but I couldn’t even read. I’d hold up the books and pretend. My imaginary friend may have stolen the cookies, but she sure didn’t read for me.”
  • This is making fun of ableism:
  • “My teachers kept assigning me worksheets that I couldn’t do. They kept making me read in front of the class, even though I could never do it. They kept telling me to just do it. And they say we’re the ones who lack empathy and theory of mind.”

Don’t beat yourself up when things go wrong:

  • Presenters/panelists with disabilities face intense ableism.
  • It’s going to hurt sometimes.
  • The problem isn’t that your skin is too thin; the problem is that people are hurting you.
  • A thick skin is still worth developing.
  • If an audience laughs at you, it’s their fault, not yours. They shouldn’t act like that.
  • It’s messed up that we have to develop skills at deflecting ableism and insisting on respect. 
  • It’s also worth knowing that these skills exist and can be learned.
  • It gets much easier with practice, but no one succeeds all the time.
  • When a talk goes bad, don’t beat yourself up, and don’t blame yourself for the audience’s ableism.
  • You’re ok, they’re ableist, and the things you have to say are still valuable when they’re not valued.

These are some of the methods I’ve used to deal with audience ableism. There are others. What are yours?

Tl;dr Disabled presenters face a lot of intense ableism. In particular, audiences often laugh at us. Scroll up for some methods for insisting on respect.

The Signs’ Responses to Being Threatened

Low-key impressed that the person knows how to get under their skin: Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius

Does their best to do whatever it is with as much grace and dignity as they can: Leo, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius

Is angry and does their best to turn the threat around, or will refuse to do whatever it is, even if there’s a consequence: Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Pisces

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Paul Ryan once argued that “liberal government programs give people comfort, but not dignity.

And to justify cutting Welfare and defunding food programs, Republicans disingenuously equate having the basic necessities needed to live — like food — to dignity. Following that logic, are we to believe that wealthy people somehow have more dignity than poor people, because they have more access to more resources like housing, food and clean drinking water? Do the mostly white residents of Bismarck North Dakota have more dignity than the Native Americans at Standing Rock? Do Donald Trump’s children somehow have more “dignity” than does Little Miss Flint? Because Trump’s children don’t need to depend on free lunch programs?

Wealth dignity.

Access to resources dignity.

People living in or born into poverty do not have less dignity. They have less wealth and less political power.

Providing free school lunches to children living in poverty doesn’t “give kids an empty soul” it simply feeds hungry children. Feeding a hungry child is not “giving them undue comfort” or making them lazy, it’s simply feeding a hungry child. How did feeding hungry children become a controversial act for “Christian” conservatives?

Intentionally starving children to teach them the “dignity” of hunger is inhumane.

Stop stigmatizing poverty. Stop equating poverty with a lack of dignity. Stop reinforcing the notion that poor people have no dignity just because they’re poor. There is no nobility in starvation, and there is no benevolence in allowing children or anyone else to go hungry when you possess the power to prevent it.