but there’s this burn in my stomach
and there’s this pain in my side
and when i kneel at the toilet
and the morning’s clean light
pours in through the window,
sometimes i pray i don’t die.
i’m a goddamn hypocrite
Tre’r Ceiri Iron Age Hill fort, Llyn Peninsula, North Wales, 29.4.17. This has to be one of the most impressive prehistoric sites of the UK given its scale and location. The Iron Age hill fort sits atop a peak and features more than 150 hut foundations and two perimeter walls, in places just under 3 metres in height. The peak of the fort also features a Bronze Age cairn. The entrances to the fort are still visible are as the different shapes of the huts, shelters and roundhouses that emerged over generations. The earlier huts are to a circular, wheel shape with room compartments under one roof whilst later structures are smaller and more oblong with one or two room spaces. At its height, it was thought to be the home for over 400 people. Excavations have found large traces of Roman pottery and it is thought that the Celtic tribes that occupied the site may have traded with the Romans and used the fort as a refuge from Irish invaders.
One of the big themes of the Digital Ash record is the fear of death and how it infects every part of my life. It’s not even so much fear, as it is sorrow that you have to say goodbye to this stuff. I think that you can use that knowledge to defeat yourself or to push yourself forward and keep yourself going. The fact that there is—and here’s M. Ward again on his new album, “What are you gonna do? Where you gonna go when you don’t got space to fill? What are you gonna do with your time, now that you don’t got time to kill?” That’s it. You better fucking make a move while you got a chance. Because it’s not going to wait around for you to get comfortable with the idea of your mortality. You better just bust out the machete and start chopping through this shit and heading in some direction.
Here’s the artwork I did for the Bright Eyes side of the 2006 split 7” with Super Furry Animals. I wanted to incorporate the early Every Day and Every Night vibe with the Digital Ash era. The numbers are of course from the great artwork that Jadon Ulrich made for Digital Ash. I printed it out on cardstock and added vellum layers for the cloud effect. The lettering is hand cut. When you die, your rotting corpse data gets downloaded into a little plant, which I guess is nice.
after the party - the menzingers separation sunday - the hold steady make the clocks move - kevin devine whip smart - liz phair people who can eat people - AJJ split the country, split the street - kevin devine all get out - all get out fight off your deams/leaked demos 2006 - Brand New we shall all be healed - the mountain goats no good for no one now - owen put your ghost to rest - kevin devine romance is boring - los campesinos! dog problems - the format sick scenes - los campesinos! good news for people who love bad news - modest mouse beat the champ - the mountain goats killer parties - the hold steady louder now - taking back sunday almost here - the academy is.. straylight run - straylight run the king is dead - the decemberists chase this light - jimmy eat world rented world - the menzingers keep you - pianos become the teeth kiss - carly rae jepsen new best friends - mansions exile in guyville - liz phair kauai - childish gambino pink moon - nick drake we were dead before the ship even sank - modest mouse curse your branches - david bazan album of the year - the good life heaven is whenever - the hold steady the crane wife - the decemberists sam’s town - the killers danger days - my chemical romance the front bottoms - the front bottoms i’m like a virgin losing a child - manchester orchestra folie a deux - fall out boy pale horse - mewithoutyou 52 weeks - into it. over it hope - manchester orchestra
all hail west texas - the mountain goats born to run - bruce springsteen goodness - the hotelier carrie and lowell - sufjan stevens tallahassee - the mountain goats we have the facts and we’re voting yes - death cab for cutie on the impossible past - the menzingers emotion - carly rae jepsen i’m wide awake it’s morning - bright eyes hot fuss - the killers ghost town - owen new again - taking back sunday Happy hollow - cursive brother’s blood - kevin devine to pimp a butterfly - kendrick lamar digital ash in a digital urn - bright eyes Mama, I’m Swollen - Cursive figure 8 - elliott smith talon of the hawk - the front bottoms real ghosts caught on tape - fake problems we cool? - jeff rosenstock salutations - conor oberst stay positive - the hold steady taking back sunday - taking back sunday santi - the academy is… goths - the mountain goats mean everything to nothing - manchester orchestra dig up the dead - mansions west - lucinda williams born in the USA - bruce springsteen high violet - the national hazards of love - the decemberists I do perceive - owen new wave - against me! fast times at ridgemont high - the academy is . .. reverie lagoon - seahaven heretic pride - the mountain goats back on top - the front bottoms the king of whys - owen never hungover again - joyce manor full force galesburg - the mountain goats bad books - bad books daisy - brand new somewhere at the bottom - la dispute the greatest generation - the wonder years zopilote machine - the mountain goats the mother the mechanic the path - the early november joyce manor - joyce manor
stage four - touche amore for flotsam - los campesinos! integrity blues - jimmy eat world all eternals deck - the mountain goats lifted - bright eyes knife man - AJJ hail and farewell, gothenburg - the mountain goats the devil and god are raging inside me - brand new nobody likes a quitter - all get out worry - jeff rosenstock three cheers for sweet revenge - my chemical romance bleed american - jimmy eat world in the aeroplane over the sea - neutral milk hotel new leaves - owen the rising - bruce springsteen I am Gemini - Cursive king of the delta blues - robert johnson boys and girls of america - the hold steady fevers and mirrors - bright eyes we don’t have each other - aaron west cardinal - pinegrove damage - jimmy eat world I brought you my bullets - my chemical romance from under the cork tree - fall out boy The bible II - AJJ cody - joyce manor suburbia - the wonder years the ugly organ - cursive teeth dreams - the hold steady it’s all crazy! it’s all true! - mewithoutyou at home with owen - owen control - pedro the lion cassadaga - bright eyes The glow pt 2 - the microphones hospice - the antlers intersections - into it. over it the bitter end - right away, great captain! either/or - elliott smith proper - into it. over it
reconstruction site - the weakerthans sprained ankle - julien baker darkness on the edge of town - bruce springsteen sweden - the mountain goats christmas island - AJJ Get lonely - the mountain goats ten stories - mewithoutyou the church of the good thief - right away, great captain! wildlife - la dispute good kid maad city - kendrick lamar doom loop - mansions simple math -manchester orchestra the season - all get out the black parade - my chemical romance the moon & antarctica - modest mouse rooms of the house - la dispute left and leaving - the weakethans the eventually home - right away, great captain! brother, sister - mewithoutyou something to write home about - the get up kids hello sadness - los campesinos! illuminate - lydia letting off the happiness - bright eyes deja entendu - brand new the needles the space - straylight run winter wheat - john k samson pretty years - cymbals eat guitars day and age - the killers clarity - jimmy eat world catch us for the foxes - mewithoutyou nebraska - bruce springsteen infinity on high - fall out boy transcendetal youth - the mountain goats the lack long after - pianos become the teeth where you want to be - taking back sunday domestica - cursive invented - jimmy eat world futures - jimmy eat world cope - manchester orchestra awaken, my love! - childish gambino the life of the world to come - the mountain goats elliott smith - elliott smith western teleport - emperor x between the concrete and the clouds - kevin devine monogamy sessions - tim kasher tunnel of love - bruce springsteen reunion tour - the weakerthans LOSE - cymbals eat guitars because the internet - childish gambino ruminations - conor oberst the upsdes - the wonder years care - david bazan new moon - elliott smith
”Sooo, I’ve thought about this a lot and I came to a decision. I’m going to list the 15 saddest song Conor has ever written with Bright Eyes. And I’m not mentioning the “ended love” ones, I mean those about life and everything. Of course is my opinion, but I would like to know if you agree or not with me. So, here we go:
1. Lime tree -Cassadaga.
“So pleased with a daydream, that now living is no good”.
The songs maybe refers to an abortion, or something like that. The crushing moment it’s when Conor quotes his friend at the phone “It’s done.”
2. Ladder Song-The people’s key.
“No one knows where the ladder goes, you’re gonna lose what you love the most.”
A song about self acceptance, relieve and the mysteries of what life can lead us too.
3. The center of the world - Fevers and mirrors.
“Into the endlessness of blue, into the horror of the truth”
Despite “Fevers and Mirrors” is one of his saddest album, I find this song centered on the topic of loss and death, especially in the part of the carving tombs for remembering all the love we lost and we gained.
4. Approximate Sunlight - The people’s key
“Now you are how you were, when you were real”.
The whole song seems to talk about the world, the wars and how they ended up. The crushing of simple dreams because of mankind’s rage.
5.No lies, just love - Don’t be frighted of turning the page.
So please forgive what I have done,no you can’t stay mad at the setting sun”.
I’ve never understood if Conor really tried to take his life but this song is so powerful, with his promise and everything, that clarifies most doubts about suicide and what implies to those who try.
6. Poison Oak - I’m wide awake, it’s morning
And I don’t think that I ever loved you more
His cousin got his life and he’d never accepted his own sexuality. A clear scream in the dark, the song reflects all his doubts about the sexuality and how everyone lives it.
7. Padraic my prince - Letting off the happiness.
“In a coma you don’t dream, you just hope someone sits with you”
As “No lies, just love”, his analysis of the suicide and what led to.
The lyric refers to a personal experience, since we still aren’t certain about the mental state of a person in a coma.
8. Down to the rabbit hole - Digital Ash in a Digital urn.
If your thoughts should turn to death,gotta stomp them out like a cigarette”
A song about drugs abuse and how they change your life’s perception. The last part may refers to some suicidals thoughts.
9. A spindless, a darkness, a fever and a necklace - Fevers and Mirrors.
“ Don’t destroy yourself like those cowards do”.
Adolescence was hard for everyone and since the start of the song, with the book read aloud by the child, we learn that we can’t be forever those we love. The first time I’ve heard the song, I was 15 and totally wasted with my sadness. Don’t wanna say he saved me but was a good big brother with this album.
10. Amy in the white coat - Noise Floor
You look like your mother, in that thin disguise. Your parting mouth, your shining eyes”
Ah, this one. I always liked this one for the mood, ‘til I found out it was about child abuse and rape. The sweetness of his voice strikes again the heaviness of the lyric.
11. Motion Sickness - Noise Floor
So I want to get myself attached to something bolted down, so that these winds of circumstance won’t keep blowing me around”.
The uncertainty of a life around the world could hit everyone, especially when you have to go far from home and settle down again. Tried for myself, this song is dedicated to everyone who struggles against the nostalgia.
12. Landlocked blues
“I’ve found a liquid cure, for my landlocked blues.”
As the previous song, this one speaks about leavings and missing. He’s dumping Laura and tells her to choose another path, he’s got too much from this relationship and his life and wants to move on.
13. Laura Laurent -Lifted
“But you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living. Because it’s the ones with the sorest throats, Laura, who have done the most singing”
It’s not sad because of the lyrics but because it describes a real person, his friend Laura, who passed through tough times and she’s tired of living. If you are 16, this song is like an anchor.
14. Tourist Trap- Four winds EP
“’Cause I’m not sure if I live here anymore”.
Facing that your city has changed is always hard. You go away and after six months all has changed. It’s hard to accept that, even if you’ve got the habit.
15. No one would riot for less- Cassadaga
“ Little soldier, little insect, you know war it has no heart"
Conor explained this song like “the end of the fuels.” It’s set like a dystopic novel (not so right now) and how people tries to live or survive that. Just with their love.
Ok, I know, there were other songs sadder than those, or maybe not, but, I’ve told you, it’s a personal list. If you like, reblog, quote or answer me with your sad list.