digging for trash

Ice cream in fall?!  But how?

SLIMES.

See that slime just north of the ice cream stand?  If you finagle that thing so that it’s at the entrance of the ice cream stand, which is WAY easier said than done, you can buy ice cream.  It’s the same type of trick that allows you to buy ice cream from your horse, only harder.  And funnier.  And exactly 50% of the reason why I raise slimes in town.

(The other 50% is because they shame me when I dig in the trash and it’s freaking hilarious.)

Person A is a barista at a nearby coffee shop. They have grown fond of Person B, who they have a crush on. One day, when B orders their coffee, A writes their number on the cup.

Bonus: B sees the number and keeps the cup so they won’t lose it.

2nd Bonus: B has had a crush on A the entire time.

anonymous asked:

ANDREW ACCIDENTALLY CALLING NEIL CUTE IN FRONT OF THE FOXES P L E A S E

IT IS OFFICIALLY MY SEMESTER BREAK!!!!!! ajfhdajkhfdajh this is the best prompt EVER let me have this self-indulgent headcanon

  • the foxes, because they like a.) challenges and b.) making money out of these challenges, get the idea to play Andreil Trope Bingo
  • nicky starts it, purely out of boredom, as well as out of the desire to spite kevin for being too exy-focused even if the season’s over
  • he creates a card with things like “andrew buying food for neil” “neil smiling behind andrew’s back” “one talking about the other when the other is not there” “andrew hurting someone for neil” “rooftop date” “andreil going late to practice together”
  • after the whole team making edits to the bingo card, a copy is given to everyone
  • word gets around, but as andrew and neil are two of the most oblivious people in the world, they don’t catch wind of it
  • eventually, everybody (including wymack and bee) gets in on it, because the pot rises to be two grand (can you guys believe? two fucking grand for a couple’s trope bingo)
  • they make it a race of sorts - as andrew and neil aren’t normally affectionate in public (neil being the more touchy of the two, but still severely lacking in comparison to the stereotype of Normal Couples), they all have to be there at certain times of the day
  • dan clearly established the “no fishing rule” at the start but some of them can’t help themselves - they’re just really lucky sometimes
  • renee is the first to check “andrew wearing one of neil’s shirts” after she notices at their weekly sparring session
  • aaron (unluckily enough) gets the first shot at “andreil making out by the lockers” after his shift to tidy up the court
  • nicky is first witness at “one being lowkey possessive over the other” when he catches a glimpse of andrew frowning down someone at the bar for checking out neil
  • at the end of it all, they’re all left with one box blank
  • “andrew calling neil cute”
  • and everybody is just ??????
  • because andrew would never do that. not in a million years
  • only neil seems like the type to do so - but even neil hasn’t said anything of the sort
  • everybody’s panicking because they’re all so close yet so far away
  • fast forward; it’s been a little over a month since everyone’s only got that last box blank, and they’ve all been fishing
  • matt has asked, on multiple occasions, what andrew thought of neil when he smiled
  • allison has pointed out how good neil looked when she gave him her last haircut
  • bee even got ahold of neil’s baby pictures and showed them to andrew on a visit of his
  • wymack, at some point, tried asking if “cute” was really the specific word they all needed to hear (”What if he says ‘adorable’? You know Minyard gets all wordy at some point.”)
  • they all flail around for another week until the foxes’ weekly movie night
  • it happens on a thursday at neil and andrew’s room, because it was their turn
  • everyone is seated around the television, either on armchairs, the sofa, or on beanbags
  • neil coughs and pounds his chest
  • andrew gets up from the sofa so fast and gets neil a glass of water
  • upon getting the glass, neil goes “Ah.That was just a test. Thanks for putting in the effort.”
  • neil is smirking and all, thinking he’s so clever, the cheeky bastard
  • and no one is prepared for andrew’s “Mmm. That’s cute. Move over.”
  • everybody is suddenly scrambling for their cards in their pockets
  • IT’S LIFE OR DEATH AT THIS POINT, PEOPLE
  • THAT LAST BOX IS ALL THAT M A T T E R S
  • nicky is like “Shit shit shit shit shit shit–”
  • kevin frustratingly goes “Where the fuck is my pen–”
  • bee is like “That’s unfair, I didn’t bring my card!”
  • it’s dan-the-legend-wilds that gets to cross out the box first and she yells (half-drunkenly) “BingobingobingobingoBINGO MOTHERFUCKERS!!”
  • matt’s like “Babe we’re going halfsies on that right–” while allison yells “THAT”S GOING INTO OUR NAIL POLISH FUND!”
  • wymack is in the moment and is like “Dan, you’re sharing with me, or you’re out of the fucking team.”
  • renee is groaning and shaking her head while aaron is just shrugging and texting katelyn he lost
  • in the midst of the chaos and debating-who-got-it-first is andrew and neil, clueless as fuck, staring at them all and at one another
  • neil is blinking in confusion while andrew is stony-faced
  • they go out of the room and leave the madness that is the foxes coming up with another bet and searching for money in their wallets
the signs as ppl i saw at the airport at 4 am
  • Aries: the pilot that had a bottle of pepsi and a bottle of coke in his hands and looked at both for a long while before buying them both, mixing them into the same cup, and downing the whole cup in one swing.
  • Taurus: the old guy who accidentally threw his phone in the trash and got his two year old granddaughter to dig it out of the trash
  • Gemini: the guy across the waiting area from me that bought a whole bag of black licorice and poured it in his mouth
  • Cancer: the lady that has spider earrings in February
  • Leo: the obvious just-married couple that started making out aggressively in starbucks
  • Virgo: the guy trimming his nose hairs in the bathroom
  • Libra: the guy whose flight got delayed by and hour and he just kinda. collapsed into a chair and he looked like he was about to sob.
  • Scorpio: the very nice lady that asked me how old i was and how highschool was and offered me a cookie from her purse. it was stale and had a bite taken out of it.
  • Sagittarius: this 5 year old girl that was wearing five jackets while her parents wore shorts
  • Capricorn: that guy in gate 69 who would dab every time someone said "69" over the intercom
  • Aquarius: this girl talking on the phone to her husband and trying to explain how to make a perfect eyeliner wing
  • Pisces: the guy who obviously lost his luggage and was wearing a too-small powderpuff girl shirt and bags under his eyes.
Leaving is Hard to Do - Jim Kirk

Summary: drinkin’ while you’re in love with jim but are too scared to tell him lest it destroy your friendship. 

Word count: 2,361

Warnings: language, alcohol

A/N: isn’t the title funny? it’s a play on “breaking up is hard to do” fjgkdjfhg i love myself. this is slightly sad but i love it for some reason. i think i just love jim so i keep writing him and literally no one else. ENJOY IT AND LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!


You didn’t understand Jim’s flirting technique at all but, on the contrary, you greatly understood how he managed the success rate he did. You attributed it to the “love is blind” cliche— only edited.

“Lust is deaf,” you called it.

He would put his foot in his mouth repeatedly as he spoke to anyone he was attracted to— he would rattle off ridiculous inquiries you could recall being the audience to during your years at the Academy.

Of course, those questions came from eighteen year-old boys with inexplicably high confidence levels that verged on total narcissism and inexplicably low sensitivity levels that verged on sociopathy.

In Jim’s case, however, the questions would be asked with such little interest it was as if he was reading the same tired script printed onto the walls of his scotch glass.

It didn’t matter what Jim said, though. After all, who could resist his unbelievably electric blue eyes and unnecessarily bright smile that appeared to be illuminated by starlight?

He stood with his side leant against the edge of the bar counter, his elbow resting atop the presumably sticky surface— it made you feel bad for his worn grey leather jacket that was probably bearing the brunt of the stickiness. His eyes were narrowed by the magnitude of his close-lipped smile. He brought the rim of his glass to his lips and glanced at you from the corner of his eye.

You just snorted and sat back against the booth you occupied.

Your fingertip swirled patterns against the table as you heard the leather bench across from you squeak with newly added weight. Without looking up, you shook your head. “Not interested.”

“Neither am I, darlin’.”

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ok listen

jiang wen and donnie yen right

for some reason i felt the need to let u know how they are both very attractive but in subtly different ways and i

my,, hand slipped

i cannot be held responsible

( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

In other news, I’m still Ryan Ross trash and intend to stay that way for the time being. 

“I’m gonna be a dad!”

All these pics of Harry and the toddler made me think about how he would react if he found out he’s going to be a dad.

Pairing: Y/N and Harry

Word Count: 677

Harry had seen the news before he heard it from her. She was going to tell him, she really was. She had it all planned out, when they finished having dinner with his family and they drove home, Y/N was going to let him know. But a fan had caught her buying the test and the picture blew up in seconds, Harry very rarely went on social media, but today he was bored. Y/N had been chatting away with his family, leaving him sitting alone on the couch.

He froze seeing the picture set, Y/N buying the test, then walking in the bathroom, and next was a small video of the insane fan digging through the trash to show the positive stick. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t upset, he was happy. There were five things Harry loved in the world, his family, Y/N, his music, his crew members, and kids. He had always wanted a family and he wanted one with Y/N, there was nothing more he wanted in life.

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