digestive-cookies

You're The Worst-Part One


My best friend Maydaygirl forced me into this fandom. This is her fault. 

Prologue:

“Where is he?” Dipper asked.

“He’ll be here, Dip, don’t worry. Oh I hope he remembers to bring him!”  Mabel wiggled with excitement.

“You only reminded him about 100 times. Literally.”

“Look!” She pointed towards their Grunkle Stan’s El Diablo only a few yards away, their Grunkle waving awkwardly at them. Dipper picked up his luggage and made his way towards Grunkle Stan. Before making it three steps, Mabel grabbed on to the back of his shirt. “I don’t see him.”

“I’m sure he brought him, Mabel, don’t worry.” Dipper assured his sister.

The closer they got to their Grunkle Mabel’s shaking became more and more violent. Her head swiveled from side to side in search for him.

“Hey kids-”

“Where is he?” Mabel demanded.

“Nice to see you too.” Grunkle Stan grumbled under his breath opening the back car door. Mabel fell backwards as Waddles ran into her waiting arms.

“I missed you too boy.” Mabel giggled as Waddles licked her face.

“Alright, alright, time to get going, put your stuff in the trunk.” Grunkle Stan groused. Dipper started putting his and Mabel’s belongings into the trunk.

“Aw, don’t worry, Grunkle Stan. I missed you too.” Mabel grinned up at him from the ground.

“Yeah, yeah, get your pig and yourself in the car, kid.” He grumbled but Dipper saw him smile.

“Come on, Waddles.” Mabel opened up the door for him before getting in herself.

Stan got in the front seat, Dipper already in his seat up front.

“Look, kids, I’m sor- I know it’s hard changing schools just before your Freshman year, but don’t think that gives you a reason to slack on your responsibilities at the shack. It’s gonna be just like the past two summers,” Grunkle Stan informed them.

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Yeah, we know.”

“Good.” He started the car and made his way to the Mystery Shack.

They rode in silence with only the sound of Mabel whispering sweet nothings into Waddles ear and his responding snorts. When they got to the shack, Dipper made to open the door but his Grunkle held him back with a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

Dipper turned to look at him with a sad, small smile. “The last time we talked you went on and on about how you were doing us this big favour by taking us in.” Dipper reminded him.

“And don’t you forget it.” Stan said but then his face turned somber once more. “But, if you kids need to, you know, talk…I’m…well I’m here.”

Mabel leaned forward in her seat to press a kiss to his grizzled face. “We know Grunkle Stan. Thank you.”

Stan smiled softly before hardening his face once more. “Now, com’on. Time is money. Let’s get you kids to work.”


Chapter One: Partnered With a Blonde

~Two Weeks Later~

“Do you have your lunches?”

“Yes, Grunkle Stan,” the twins said in unison.

“Your school supplies.”

“Yes, Grunkle Stan,” they said.

“You’re schedules? You know where everything is?”

“Yes, Grunkle Stan,” they confirmed.

“How about-”

“Grunkle Stan, we’re going to be late,” Dipper interrupted.

“Fine. I’ll pick you kids up here at 3:30 sharp. Don’t be late. I have a lot of chores for you both to do.”

Mabel leaned towards him for a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t miss me too much Grunkle Stan.”

He harrumphed. “I’ll miss you two about as much as a canker sore.”

“Just admit you love your adorable, precious, amazing grandniece.”

“Mabel we’re going to be late,” Dipper reiterated. Taking her by the elbow and dragging her towards the school.

“Blink once if you love me!” She called back to Grunkle Stan who tried to keep his eyes open but finally blinked. “Hah! I knew it.”

“That doesn’t count!” he called after them.

“Does too,” Mabel countered. Stan’s response, however, was lost as Dipper finally pulled his sister into the school.

“Look, Mabel, I have Chemistry and Algebra II before break and you have Art and Biology, so we can meet by the science building, okay?”

“I know the plan, Dipping Sauce.” Mabel said affectionately. “We go period two and three, break at the science building. Then periods four and five, we’ll meet by the gym for lunch since we both have PE for fifth. Then sixth through seventh we have together and we’ll go back to the front of the school and wait for Grunkle Stan.” Mabel smiled sweetly at her brother. “You’ve told me 100 times. Literally.”

“Okay. First of all, that’s not how you use literally-”

“Dipper. Don’t be such a worrywart. I’ll see you in 2 hours. If you need me just text the code word. I’ll be right there.”

“There’s no texting in class, Mabel.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a nerd.”

“Thanks for the confidence booster.” Dipper deadpanned.

“You’re welcome! I see Grenda so I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Dipper tried to sound it.

She gave him a worried glance. “Dipp-”

He waved her off. “Don’t worry about it Mabel. I’ll be fine. I need to get to Chem early anyways so I can have a seat in the front.” He gave her, what he hoped, was a reassuring smile.

“Remember. Code word,” she said pointing a finger gun at him. He nodded and then watched as his sister bounded off towards her friend.

He nervously rubbed at the back of his neck as he made his way towards the Science building and room 416.

He entered the room ten minutes till the bell rang choosing a lab station near the front of the classroom. More students trickled in and by the time the bell rang everyone was in their seats.

Their teacher, Mr. Crawford, stood in front of the room at the whiteboard with a bland smile on his lips. He took roll quickly, Dipper stopping him from saying his name before he could announce it to the whole class.

“Welcome to Chemistry. Chemistry is considered to be the central science. The science all other sciences are built around. It is the study of the air you breathe, food you digest, cookies you bake, and the clothes you wear. Chemistry is literally everywhere and everything. It’s the study of matter; it’s properties, it’s composition, it’s structure. In this class you will be handling chemicals, flames, pointy objects, and very breakable class. Which is why we’ll start off with this safety video.” Mr. Crawford turned out half the lights and the short film began.

Dipper watched the video intently. Writing down some notes he thought might be useful. The class groaned as one when Mr. Crawford turned the lights back on.

“Now. I want everyone to take a look at who is sitting next to them. I want you to get each other’s names, year, an interesting fact, and why you chose to take chemistry ” ‘

Dipper turned to face his lab partner.

The brunette looked at Dipper with a sure smile.  “I’m Jonathan, Sophomore. You’re Dipper Pines, Freshman,  right?”

“How do you-”

“Word gets around in a town as small as Gravity Falls. New kids, even incoming Freshman, are going to be at the top of the gossip list,” Jonathan explained.

“That’s just great. That’ll make the transition to a new school easier.” Dipper grumbled.

“Yeah, that’s rough. But, hey, at least you’re a Freshman, right?” Dipper gave him an odd look. “That means that every one in your year is in the same boat as you. You’re all new to this school.” He explained.

“Yeah. I hadn’t thought of it that way.” Dipper smiled at Jonathan.

“I’ve been told I’m an optimist. Sometimes overly so.” He grins back. “And I guess I’ll use that as my interesting fact.”

“Yeah, my sister is like that too. I guess I’ll use her as my fact. I have a twin sister. But you probably already knew that.”

“I’ll let it slide.” Jonathan joked.

“Thanks for that. So why’re you taking Chemistry?”

“Because I took Bio last year and you need two lab sciences to get into college. I feel like that’s going to be the reason for most of the class though.”

“Probably,“ he said with a small chuckle.

“How about you? I don’t think many Freshman take Chemistry.”

“Yeah, well, I already took Biology at my old school, so I have to take this and Physics.”

“That’s rough, man.” Jonathan grimaced in consolidation.

Dipper opened his mouth to reply but Mr. Crawford called their attention back to him at the front of the class. “Good. Now that we’ve broken the ice, I want everyone to stand up single file against the wall.” When everyone was in position Mr. Crawford continued. “As most of you already know, I do not allow my students to choose their own lab partners.” There were a few groans from the students but the teacher continued as if he hadn’t heard them. “I have done so for you with a randomizer. When I call your name take the next available empty seat snaking around the benches. The person you share that bench with will be your lab partner for the rest of the year. If, for whatever reason, you do not like your lab partner, just remember one very important rule. I do not allow people to change their partners. I’ve heard every excuse you could ever think of, and probably even some you couldn’t possibly fathom,  in my twenty years of teaching and I have not changed one single pair, even once. Understood.” There was a murmur of miserable yeses.

Dipper tuned out most of the names until he heard his own. He glanced at the next available seat and saw, to his utter horror, that it was next to a very familiar blonde haired girl. Dipper took his seat next to Pacifica Northwest.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Pacifica said her lip curling at the sight of Dipper pushing her chair as far away from his as she could get. “I can’t be paired to you the entire year.”

“That’s my line, Bottled Blonde Barbie.” Dipper accused.

“Excuse me-”

“Look, Pacifica, I’m not going to do all the work for you, okay? I don’t care if all you do is write down the results-”

“What makes you think I’d let you do all of the work.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious.”

Pacifica glared. “You think just because I’m blonde that I’m stupid.”

“Of course not. As I said before, your blonde hair comes from a bottle so-”

“It’s natural.” She snarled.

He lifted a doubting brow in response.

“And just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” She continued. “I think you’re forgetting who my family is, Dipper. I’ve had private tutors from before I could talk. All  Northwest’s earn straight A’s.” She flipped her long blonde hair at him.

“Don’t you mean buy?”

“To quote a weird little boy I had the misfortune of knowing, ‘you’re the worst.’” She scowled.

“We have to figure out a way to get Mr. Crawford to let us change partners.”

“Didn’t you hear him? Mr. Crawford is notorious for being unreasonable. No form of begging, bribery, or coercion ever works. The man’s a hardass.” Pacifica explained.

“There has got to be some way-”

“Dipper, this isn’t some mystery you can solve. This is way scarier than anything in your journal. It’s high school.”

Dipper sighed in defeat. “As long as you promise not to saddle me with all the lab work.”

Pacifica rolled her eyes but nodded her head before looking back up at Mr. Crawford, effectively ignoring him throughout the rest of the class.


 Part Two | Part Three