different shades of night

The first time I realized the power of Led Zeppelin was when I heard ‘Black Dog.’  It blew me completely away.  I knew all the ‘hits’ like ‘Stairway’ and ‘Whole Lotta Love,’ but hearing ‘Black Dog’s complexity and bizarre riff made me go back and check all the records out.  The seamless way they moved from heavy metal to marrying acoustic and folk sounds with distorted guitars paved the way for every rock band that followed.  They were pulling worlds together and serving it on the most entertaining of plates.  With their live shows, they created so many special moments by following the flow of energy and the community in the room and taught me how important feel and improvisation are when you’re playing a show: it could, and should, be different every night.  They mixed dark and shade in their music and their lives, and in turn created a whole world for people to become a part of with their mysterious symbols and bizarre language and phrasing.  Guitarists want to play and be like Jimmy, singers can only hope of using their voice in the way Robert did, no drummer can hit like Bonzo, and there is no more an accomplished musician than JPJ. They are not part of rock’s cultural fabric; they are the fucking fabric.
—  Simon Neil, lead singer, Biffy Clyro, “Led Zeppelin: Sound and Fury,” by Neal Preston, 2013.
Bend to your will

Here we go, @mizzvengenz6661 :D

Ivar x reader (shieldmaiden)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings/additional tags: Bad BDSM Etiquette, Knifeplay, Blood, Spanking, Choking, Restraints, Human Sacrifice, Oral Sex, Reverse Cowgirl, Vaginal Fingering

Originally posted by alexhoghgifs


Loud gasps start to ripple through the crowd. Someone points to the sky and you look up to see several streaks of light move across the night sky, the different shades of gold stand out clear against the dark background. Everyone stares in awe, certain that this means that the gods have blessed the impending attack on England. Once the lights have disappeared from your sight you look down again and the sacrifice continues as planned but with an even greater air of reverence. Queen Lagertha steps forward, the smooth blade in her hands, and lifts the tip to press against the young earl’s skin. The man keeps his head high; completely fearless in the face of death. The blade sinks into his chest and you can’t stop yourself from looking across the dais to see how the youngest prince is reacting to this. He doesn’t disappoint you; he is leaning forward with his mouth wide open in fascination. An instant wave of heat envelops your body and you know that you have to offer yourself to him tonight, just like you have dreamt of ever since you arrived at Kattegatt. The prince hasn’t noticed you staring yet; he is too busy observing the blood that is being gathered in a large wooden bowl to pay any attention to the outside world. Once the bowl is filled and the people standing closest to altar are starting to receive the anointment he finally seems to snap out of the trance. You are too slow to react and he catches you staring. His mesmerizing eyes are heavy with lust but you can see that he is also suspicious of your intentions. Few of the men and women that you had taken into bed had touched you like you wanted them to. They feared that they would hurt you, not understanding that that was what you wanted. Judging from what you had heard about Ívarr hinn Beinlausi he would have no such qualms and satisfy you exactly the way you craved. Shortly after arriving to join the great army you and your fellow shieldmaidens had heard rumours about the young prince and how he had nearly strangled a slave girl. While your friends gasped in horror and talked about how they pitied the girl you felt an excited thrill run down your spine. You had touched yourself that night to a very vivid image of of Ivar’s hands denying you air.

Finish on AO3  

The Different Shades of You and Me: Starless Night

 Fic Request: Lydia has been aware of her feelings for Stiles for a while now. She’s trying to hide them but each interaction with Stiles only makes them stronger until Stiles gets injured during a supernatural showdown her feelings finally come tumbling out.

A/N: Hello everyone, I’m back with another story to give you the feels. It’s been a while so if yo haven’t already, go check out the other stories in this series there (x) Enjoy and don’t forget to reblog!

Starless Night

It was three o'clock in the morning, and Lydia felt like she couldn’t blink. She sat on Stiles’ bed with her knees up and under her chin. The covers were fixed neat and taut under her and his pillows were fluffed and untouched.

After their argument earlier in the day, Stiles decided against Lydia’s wishes and accompanied Scott on a trip to stop yet another supernatural threat. Scott made it clear to the pack that it was something he had to do alone, but Stiles refused to comply.

“Lydia, Scott is my brother, I’m not letting him go on a suicide mission alone. I have to help him,” Stiles shouted at Lydia across her bedroom.

Lydia stomped on her carpet with her bare feet. “Then I’m going with you.”

“No you’re not. You’re going stay here where I know you’re safe.”

“You don’t get it, do you? You are human, Stiles! You don’t have healing powers, or superhuman strength. What if you get hurt?”

“No, you aren’t listening. If you keep on insisting you come with me, I’m not going anywhere. Lydia if you keep me from leaving, and Scott dies out there, I will never forgive you,” Stiles fumed.

Lydia gulped. “Please, don’t go,” begged softly.

Stiles walked to the door and opened it. “He’s my best friend,” he said, before slamming Lydia’s door behind him.

Now Lydia was curled up on Stiles’ bed, twirling strands of her own hair between her fingers. She breathed in his scent that filled the room as she fought her drooping eyelids. She was numb and still when she heard a knock on the door.

I’m sorry, Sheriff” she sniffled. “I’ll show myself out,” Lydia sat up on the bed and turned her head to the door.

Standing there, blood on his cheeks and his clothes was none other than Stiles himself. His blue hoodie was zipped up and his hands were in his pockets. Lydia’s heart began to pound in her chest. “Hi,” he mumbled.

Lydia closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. Her breaths faltered as she breathed in and out. Stiles closed the door behind him and walked over to Lydia slowly, making the floor creak under his feet. When he placed his hand on her shoulder, she jerked away from him. “Stiles, don’t.”

Stiles gaze dropped to the floor as he turned and made his way into his bathroom. He entered and shut the door, causing Lydia to shudder in her place.

She didn’t believe it. With all of her being, she thought he was dead. As she sat in his bedroom alone, Lydia was coming to terms with the fact that she may never see the boy that she loved ever again. But when he entered the room, she was so relieved, but so angry at the same time.

From the other side of the door, Lydia could hear the water running in the sink. She frowned and stood from her place on the bed, taking angry strides toward the bathroom. Lydia wrapped her hand around the metal knob and swung the door open.

Stiles was leaning against the sink with a wet towel in his hand. His hair was dripping wet, and his face was clean. The hoodie he wore before was now on the floor and in the sink was a white t-shirt stained with his blood. Lydia stared in horror as her eyes landed on the huge gash across Stiles’ torso. “What the–”

“Lydia, I’m fine, alright? Deaton patched it up at the clinic, I just need to–” He sucked in a sharp breath as he wiped away dry blood from the wound. “I just need to clean it.”

“I knew you shouldn’t have gone. I told you not to go!” Lydia shouted.

Stiles placed the wash cloth in the sink and began to wrap the bandages around his abdomen again. “Lyds, don’t worry about it. This is my punishment for having a werewolf best friend I guess,” he laughed as he secured the end of the bandage by his waist.

Lydia’s eyes widened. “Is this just a joke to you? You could have died, Stiles!”

Stiles rolled his eyes and pushed past her and back into his bedroom. He made his way to his dresser and shuffled through the drawers for a clean shirt. Once he wrapped his hand around one, he turned to face the girl in the door frame of his bathroom. “Just because I don’t have supernatural powers doesn’t mean I should sit back and watch. Scott needed me.” He threw the shirt over his head and pulled it on top of his bandages.

“What about me Stiles? Did it ever cross your mind to think about how I felt?”

“I know how you felt,” he muttered, undoing the buckle of his belt.

“I don’t think you do. Stiles,” Lydia yelled, walking closer to him. She whispered, “When you left, it felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

Stiles stared at the girl. Lydia searched his face for any kind of emotion, but when one began to form, it was one filled with anger. He placed his hands on the drawers slammed them shut, causing the objects resting on the top shelf to shake. Lydia jumped back.

“I was the one out there, face to face with death. Me,” he was almost yelling now. “You go out and fight all the time!”

“I have powers Stiles! You’re—”

“Useless?” he threw his arms up in the air, spinning around to face his door.

“Human!” she shouted back. “I don’t do it for fun Stiles! I do it to protect you, because I love you, you asshole!”


Tears spilled from Lydia’s eyes and rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped them away, but her eyes were already red and her lips trembling. “You heard what I said, I’m not going to say it again,” she muttered, dragging her feet back to sit on his bed. She sat with her hands in her lap.

Stiles’ heart was racing fast, and his face wore an apologetic expression. He slowly lowered himself down next to her as she sniffled quietly. The boy reached and wrapped his large hand over her small ones. “You know I love you, I have for as long as I can remember,” he chuckled, trying to get her to smile.

Lydia broke their hands and lied down on her side, clutching one of his pillows under her head. “That’s what scares me the most,” she said. “What kind of life can we have if both of us are constantly putting ourselves in danger for the sake of the other?”

Stiles crawled up next to the girl, allowing her to rest her head on his chest. He noticed his body was getting sore, and the numbing agent on his abdomen was wearing off. A wince of pain escaped his lips as he moved, catching Lydia’s attention. She immediately realized what was happening, and she moved away from him abruptly. “It’s okay, come here,” he beckoned. Lydia then rested her head on his shoulder, and she felt the crook of his neck was made especially for her.

The pair lied with their legs side by side, and hands intertwined under a beam of moonlight on the starless night. Lydia stared blankly into the darkness of the room that began to envelope them. “What are we going to do,” she mumbled into the fabric of Stiles’ t-shirt.

Stiles took a deep breath and laid this head back onto the headboard of his bed. He closed his eyes and squeezed Lydia’s hand firmly. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow.”

stxxphi  asked:

Tangled omg. I dont have a line but my favorite scene is when he's holding the flowers for her to leave in the river and then the lanterns came up? Is there anything that could inspire you from that scene? I know it's hella vague? But it gives you like free reign to write how you please?



Remus used the paddles to urge the small row boat out into the center of the lake. For the first time in your life, you were going to see the lights up close. No more watching from your tower. Instead, you would be in the midst of it. A part of something special. With a boy you quite possibly could be falling in love with. 

While you waited, you toyed with the small bouquet of flowers Remus had provided. One by one, you set them afloat in the blue water. Each petal dancing gracefully in the small ripples.

Remus was perfectly content to watch you. Well, until you nearly capsized the small boat in your haste to get a closer view of the lights. 

“Easy,” Remus murmured with a chuckle as the boat stilled.

“Oops,” you blushed, though you didn’t dwell on it long, as your eyes took in the growing sight before you. 

Lanterns of all shapes and sizes lifting themselves into the air. Their different shades illuminating the night skies as they drifted higher and higher. 

Your mouth had fallen open slightly and as you turned to see if Remus was enjoying the view as much as you, you were shocked to find him holding two lanterns of his own. 

He held one out to you, a small smile gracing his lips. 

You eagerly joined him and took the lantern into your hands. For once you were going to be a part of something magical. 

“On three?” he asked.

You nodded anxiously, an excited grin on your face. 

“1, 2,” he paused, “3.”

The two of you guided the lanterns into the air, where they quickly joined the rest of the embers of a fire built of hope. 

“Thank you, Remus,” you whispered dreamily, your eyes still glued to the sky, as he rowed back toward the shore. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he responded simply, a smile in his voice and the sound of the paddles slicing through the water providing the background music. 

Originally posted by followingthewotters

Blurb Weekend!

Of Honor and Reputations  by @oh–you–pretty–things 

I JUST… folks go read that story it is amazing reply and reblog with comments send @oh–you–pretty–things nice messages this the shit man this is the good stuff I’m already obsessed goodness gracious me good heavens sweet holy moly guacamole served with a five bean dip

ANyway, drew this last night cause. More fanart to follow. I imagine this is the exact moment Astrid registers the handsome face before her ;) (but I always get a weird fish face gobsmacked look on my face whenever I bump into someone so that too haha) (also ignore the fact that as she’s on a step above him she’d actually be a few inches taller than she is depicted here… I wanted a height difference hahaha ha…)

GO read the chapter. 

The Different Shades of You and Me: Blue Aura

Fic Request: One night Lydia sleep walks her and when she wakes up she’s right next to Stiles. Stiles doesn’t seem too upset about it since this is the third time this has happened.

Blue Aura

Late nights were common for Stiles. He was never a bookworm, but there was something about supernatural folklore that he could never get enough of. The boy would flip through old books and strained his eyes on different websites until his eyelids fell.

Once the clock struck 2 a.m., Stiles shut the books and piled them on his desk before standing from his chair and walking over to his bed. He sat on the edge and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He then pulled up his comforter before tucking himself underneath and calling it a night.

Falling asleep was a chore for him too. No matter how exhausted he was, his brain refused to shut down when he wanted. Stiles closed his eyes in an attempt to silence his thoughts when he heard the front door open.

He opened his eyes once again, listening to the sound of footsteps. From his bed he heard a set of car keys clatter onto the dining table. Stiles let out a breath and settled back into his pillow. As the son of Sheriff, Stiles expected his father to return home in the middle of the night. This time, however, it was a bit later than usual.

The floorboards outside of Stiles’ bedroom began to creak and the door knob turned. Stiles sat up slowly in his bed and rubbed his eyes. “Dad, what’s up?” he groaned. When he opened his eyes at the figure in his doorframe, his arms collapsed to his side. “Again, Lyds?” he chuckled tiredly to himself.

Lydia stood in her pajamas with her hair in a ponytail and mint green slippers on her feet. She had a blank expression on as she stepped out of her shoes and walked closer to the bed. Stiles moved over to the far side of the mattress and lifted the covers. Without a word, Lydia crawled underneath them and brought them under her chin. She moved in closer to Stiles and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer into his chest. He pulled her hair from the black hair band and let it cascade over his pillow.

Stiles breathed in the scent of her strawberry conditioner as his gaze wandered around the room. The moon shined through the window and a blue aura flowed through the room as Stiles held Lydia close. She clutched onto his arm and brought her knees to her chin. Finally, he closed his eyes and his mind went blank at 2:30 a.m.


“No, no, no, please! Stop!” Lydia screamed, kicking her legs and swatting her arms. “Let me go!”

“Lydia, Lydia!” Stiles called, trying to get her to calm down. He grabbed her arms and forced them to her side.

She opened her eyes and lowered her hands. Her face was red and a thin layer of sweat covered her forehead. Stiles was sitting opposite of her on the bed as she gasped for air.

He looked to the clock on his nightstand behind her that read 4:27 a.m. “Are you alright,” he whispered, trying to hold her still.

Lydia looked around the room, panicked. Suddenly, she stopped and her eyes widened. “I did it again, didn’t I?” She groaned.

“If by ‘it’ you mean sleepwalked here past midnight, then yes,” Stiles said as he fixed loose strands of hair from her face.

“Why doesn’t this bother you,” Lydia questioned him as she wiped the sweat off of her face and straightened her posture on the headboard.

“It’s the third time this week Lyds, its fine. Do you want to talk about it?” Stiles said, searching her eyes for a shred of light.

“No, I’d rather not.” Lydia threw her head in her hands. “I’m sorry, another nightmare got me on my feet I guess,” she looked down at her lap. She felt bad for Stiles; she knew he barely got enough sleep, and the last thing he needed was to be woken up in the middle of the night. Lydia tied her hair back again and flipped the covers from her legs. “I guess I should go, I’m sorry again.” She stood from the bed and slid her feet back into her slippers.

“Lyds,” Stiles called. Lydia stopped on her way out the door. “Get back over here,” he chuckled. Lydia smiled softly and climbed back under the sheets excitedly. She curled closer into Stiles and wrapped her leg around his waist.

“Do you think we’re going to be okay?” Lydia asked, looking deep into his dark brown eyes. He frowned back in confusion. “That’s what I was dreaming about again. The Wild Hunt,” Lydia gulped.

“Uh-huh, I see,” Stiles sighed and twirled a strand of her hair between his fingers. “I think we’ll make it. After all those years I spent crushing on you, I could never forget you,” he chuckled. Lydia tapped the tip of his nose with her finger.

She settled back into herself and looked deep into the boy’s eyes. A wave of emotion overcame her. “Stiles, I don’t want to lose you,” Lydia said, her voice breaking.

Stiles hand came up to stroke her cheek with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere, Lyds.” Stiles said.

“Stiles Stilinski, what did I do to deserve you in my life,” she whispered.

He smiled back at her and placed a warm kiss on her forehead. “Have I told you I loved you?” Stiles asked as he rested his chin atop Lydia’s head.

“Several times before,” Lydia grinned up at him and nestled back into his chest.

“Goodnight, Lydia,” Stiles said, before closing his eyes and letting go of his thoughts.

Although it had been the third day that the pair were awake before dawn, they both came to realize that neither of them ever slept quite as well as when they were by each other’s side.

I know a boy whose eyes light up when they land on the girl he loves. I know a man whose stone cold face turns soft when his boyfriend smiles at him. I know a woman who laughs like she has never smiled before when a certain girl tells a joke. I know a mother whose eyes glisten with tears when her child says, “I love you.” I know a girl who can come to her best friend’s house in tears and walk back down the porch steps smiling. I know a boy who can call his friend at 2 a.m. and she’ll talk to him about whatever he needs until his breathing is steady. I know a little girl who gives her big sister her favorite toy when she hears her crying at night. Love comes in a million different shades of a million different colors, each with its own beauty. And who are we to try to destroy any of them?
—  Shades of Colors of Love
her favorite color is purple because of the many different shades, her favorite food is undecided but late nights she’s always craving pizza, her eyes change color depending on the sky during the day they are so genuinely beautiful, her go to show when you’re sad or scared is either the office or any schumer, when she eats she tilts her hand back for some odd reason, she kisses so softly when you’re feeling weak and tells you that you’re worth it and makes your insides flutter, she likes her mimosas just as strong as she is, her smile lights up the room around her while her eyes crinkle and sparkle and that’s when the world is okay, she has the most beautiful freckles some speckling her nose whereas others surround her collarbone and back, she’s the kindest to anyone and treats everyone the way she wants to be treated, she has a soft spot for animals and squeals when she’s excited,, god i love that, her hair fades from dark to super light and changes when she’s been in the sun for long periods of time, she always knows when something is wrong and just the right way to cheer you up, she’s an amazing dancer she makes you just want to hold on forever because you never want to lose her, her art is almost as beautiful as she is … she’s so talented, she’s a sucker for older movies and she’s the best cuddler ever… you just want to hold her all the time and tell her that everything is gonna be okay and just pretend that evil doesn’t exist, her lips are precious and curve in just the right places and same as to her curves and her booty… seriously just breathtaking, she has such a genuine heart and the funniest sense of humor and always makes you laugh, oh and her eyes i could get lost into them forever, her favorite disney movie is treasure planet (i think) which is so odd because it’s not one of the princesses but then again she’s the only princess in this world, when she’s in the hallway she’s the only girl you’ll see because she’s so extravagant and gorgeous… in any place she’ll always be the girl i look for, her favorite places are seattle and vancouver she’ll point out her favorite places so make sure you listen because they’re important, she remembers all the interesting statistics in videos that catch her eye and it’s truely adorable, she’s wanderlust so make sure you take her everywhere especially china she mentions that one a lot. she is the most wonderful person i’ve ever met. she’s genuinely the kindest and whoever gets to love her next is the luckiest person in the world. don’t ever stop loving her and hold her on her bad days because god over everyone in this world she’s the one who deserves it. spoil her with gifts, give her kisses everyday and hold her hand everywhere, show her the world and show her all the beautiful places but tell her that none of them compare to how breathtaking she is. don’t ever stop loving her because in the end you’ll regret it because she’s wonderful and the best person you’ll have ever met.
—  to whoever loves her next (don’t ever let her go)

anonymous asked:

Evie headcannons?

Okeedokee! sorry this took a while!

She eventually becomes cheer team co-captain with Audrey, and they end up being friends

Her mother thought it was princess-like to play an instrument, so she can play a bunch, including piano and flute and saxophone

She makes really good apple flavored baked goods

No matter how bad her bed head is when she wakes up, she never lets Mal magic it

She’s in the drama club and her favorite part is making costumes and doing makeup.

She can embroider and cross-stitch, etc

Lonnie teaches her how to make friendship bracelets with cross stitch floss, something her mother never would have let her do back on the Isle because of their limited resources

Every night, she re-paints her nails a different shade of blue

She rarely gets sick, but when she does, it’s really bad

She loves oversized sweaters

She’s really good at drawing clothes

She puts her homework off until the latest she possibly can, and still maintains solid grades

She reads a lot. Her bag is full of books, which weigh far too much, but she’s happy.

“I can’t live without you.” Strange, I had always seen this sentence in the extremes of a life and death situation, but I have found death has nothing to do with it. The quietude of a perpetual end isn’t offered. Far more it is sleep without dreaming; oxygen flowing through lungs without breathing; eyes absorbing light without seeing. It is the shapeless mouth of a lost soul screaming from the depths of purgatory, “I can’t live without you!” No one answers. No one hears it and you know it. It is being engulfed by an endless  meaninglessness; reassembling pieces only to break again and again into the infinite. Yet death offers no release, only a greater distance than this plane of existence. No, death has nothing to do with it. “I can’t live without you” is about different shades of life turned colourless.
—  Late night thoughts, by M.A. Tempels © 2016

Okay, the longer response to @czarrish’s prompt. Now with fewer ridiculous run-on sentences and more feelings! Turns out I could do it in a hundred sentences, but the five hundred option is still open, I suppose. If there’s one thing I’m never gonna shut up about it’s Adam Parrish being bi and totally fine with it. That kid is my moon and stars, I swear.

“Adam, how did you know that you were interested in men?”

The question catches Adam off guard. Gansey is sitting next to him, hunched over on the porch step with his chin on his knees. They’re both watching Ronan and Blue do donuts across Ronan’s mud slick in an old Jeep Adam had helped him rebuild. Henry, who had been watching with them, has just gone inside for water and left them alone. Adam wonders how long Gansey’s been waiting to ask someone this, if it’s his general curiosity at work or if it’s more specific. If he needs to figure this out before this short break is over and he gets back on the road where he’s once again pressed between Henry and Blue with the whole of the world at their feet.

Adam realizes quite suddenly that he does not envy them the world. In a couple weeks he too will have the whole world at his feet, in his own way.

Several hundred yards away the Jeep makes a sharp turn and rocks up onto two wheels. He can just hear Blue’s shouts and whoops over the sound of the engine and mud splatter. “I don’t guess I am,” he says, “but he’ll get there.”

Gansey rolls his eyes and grins, but he doesn’t look at Adam. He’s very tightly wound, like he is sometimes before tests, eyes straight ahead because the only way through is forward, no room for deviation. This is not a deviation, Adam wants to say, but he knows that’s not what he was asked.  

Keep reading

How much does it hurt to know we spoke? 

How much will it kill you to taste your burning tongue as you forget words you spilled into me? 

Maybe we have voices that are simply too loud to love, we cannot defuse these ignitions of flames with simple words

I am screaming at you from the other side of the tracks, steel and stone pass within inches of me and i so desperately want to jump and be carried away to somewhere else, where I don’t have to hear your tortured thoughts echoing in static and stasis.

But you are whispering from the other side of the cosmos, you simply drip your words into this star filled ocean and expect every ear to ring to your sound. 

We are pitches that will never match, voices too soft for one yet too coarse for two.

We cannot share this speech, one will overrule the other, it’s how love is designed to break down, hearts are not designed for forever. 

If I turn away I cannot see you, and that makes it easier, it means I don’t have to see how each intricate shadow of your bones peeks through your skin. 

I don’t have to see the drop in your smile, a place where light and life itself lived, a home I made on your lips with mine and no stranger was ever let in.

If I turn away, I think. 

I cannot stop my mind from replaying these trials we’ve shared; I am the black and white man in the full color screen, a lost one standing alone.

Alone amongst thousands of others, we reach out and share with invisible hands this concrete weight of uncertainty.

We forget, regret, remember all too much all at once. It’s our way of trying to find something to hold on to.

I don’t want to lose you. i don’t want to forget the times we stayed alongside the moon and never stopped for anyone.

I don’t want to forget the laughter the sun shined into you, how your eyes plummeted to new depths as the stalked their way through my very conscience.

You brought me to life over and over again, I hadn’t known days like it since, and I’ve never known nights so lonely from them.

I can find solace in darkness, in simple shadows falling across the land.

And it’s these shadows that start to rebuild me, to take my mind back to wherever it was before I knew of your ungodly smile, and how you pierced my veil without even saying a word.

I became uncovered, you turned me exposed and made me show what colors fuel my insides.

I became your perfect muse, I want nothing more than you.

You, and every single undefined detail that made you. I wanted your smile, your touch, your taste, your everlasting scent to churn and toil inside me.

I needed to know every hilltop curve of your skin, I wanted to feel it shatter as you became this other part of me, to never let me go or breathe again.

We had futures, we had these plans that we would take on the world with nothing but our hands to touch between us, and our hearts to beat out this rhythm of revolution.

But then, the day broke differently, and the sun shone three shades deeper and the night made you five times quieter.

You didn’t want to be me, you didn’t want to want me, and that was what cut me most.

I looked to you as someone who would change me, to turn me inside out and let my insides pour, a water to your soul’s color, and god how the would have mixed together perfectly.

But now I look to the stars, I struggle to see the constellations that made my heart flutter, and my eyes heavier.

I want back the nights where I feel asleep to nothing but the thought of you.

I want the days where the sun shone through me and into you to bring yourself to life.

I’m looking through you now while you search through my bones, sorting every femur and follicle I am constructed of.

What I am now is broken, I’m finding scraps of myself I never knew you tore from me, and showed me how much I withered away when you left.

I am paper thin with parchment veins, I will not last beyond the rains that fall from me, and I know that you will never drown underneath them too.

Life is such a dangerously unbalanced game of possibilities, and chancing your faith to throw you forward enough.

But all I want is someone to hold my hand.

I don’t want to fall off again.