A secluded beach, a Men’s Health Magazine and a pasty body ;)

Feeling a lot better now, almost got my full appetite back and I’m able to enjoy the nice weather a bit.. As you can see, I haven’t gotten a lot of sun this year ;)

Anyways, still love living by the ocean. It’s 7 o'clock and just headed down for a spontaneous Saturday night swim, walk and reading session. Could be worse :)

Tomorrow I’m working a 24 hour shift and plan on hitting the gym for the first time since the stomach flu.

What are you guys up to this Saturday night??

Weight Update:

Last week :150.4
Today. 148.8

Lost this week: 1.6 pounds
Lost in total: 46.2 pounds

Fuck, I can’t believe I’m in the 140’s now. I can’t really recall ever weighing this before (maybe a small time in my sophomore year?). In high school I was between the 150’s and 160’s. I feel good though, I’ve gotten to a really good point where I can look at my stomach and think it’s adorable and I like the way my thighs touch together. I feel like me but just healthier and more in control, where as before my cravings were.

46 pounds lost now, that’s a crazy number. I didn’t think I’d ever see that number when I started this but it’s here and it’s good. Just 8.8 more pounds until final goal weight.

Day 1 Vegan Transition

I ate vegan all day except for some cake I had at a birthday party. It’s only the first day, so I’m not beating myself up for having a piece of cake. I did feel really proud that all my meals were vegan!

Breakfast:
Organic oatmeal with natural pb and a banana
Watermelon

Lunch:
Amy’s vegan enchiladas

Dinner:
Vegan grilled cheese from Tom and Chee (I have discovered I hate vegan cheese haha)

Dessert:
Non vegan red velvet ice cream cake

Tomorrow will be difficult since it’s a holiday and I’ll be super busy so I didn’t have time to pack my meals the night before. Gonna try my best to eat as vegan as possible tomorrow! I’ll probably go grocery shopping for vegan essentials on Sunday so that’ll be really helpful when I do. Thanks for your support!

Weekly Weigh In

Friday July 3rd: 212.4
Pounds lost since last weigh in : 1.4
Total Pounds lost: 145

YES! I’m so happy! I can’t believe how close I am to being less than 200 pounds! I’ve never weighed this as an adult. The last time I weighed 212, I was in the 8th grade.

I’m feeling a little panicky about the whole thing. I stopped recognizing myself in the mirror about 25 pounds ago and the changes are just happening faster and faster. I feel like I’ll look like an entirely different person at the end… Which is great, but also strangely sad. I didn’t hate myself as a big girl, I was definitely more confident then than I am now. Even still, I was extremely aware of my size and I’ve thought about it all day every day for the past 15 years.

Now, I have to figure out how to change my ENTIRE way of thinking. I’ve been “the big girl” since elementary school. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with it. I don’t know how to think. I guess I’ll figure it out as it happens, because it’s pretty clear it’s definitely happening!

Sigh. I’ve had a tough couple of days MS wise. I’m taking a few off of work and hoping that some rest will be enough. I can’t believe this is happening. But then, this is a story for another post… for tonight, lets just revel in the fact that I can say “Hi, I’m Carolyn, and I’ve lost 145 pounds!”

Eek!

I’ve gotten pretty good at being polite to people’s faces when they suggest things like diets, yoga, meditation, mindfulness, etc. but that’s only because I can come here and have a bit of a rant. Like seriously, do you think anyone with a few years of illness hasn’t already tried that stuff? And especially annoying when the person suggesting the thing hasn’t even tried it themselves. Oh, you heard from a magazine that this diet could “boost energy” and “enhance immunity”… fml