the first time Jean allowed himself to enjoy a blue sky
the trojans had dragged him off to a picnic for “team bonding” and it was the first time he’d been allowed to look at the sky without Riko looming over him
the first time Jean felt the grass under his fingers
on that same picnic, while Laila and Alvarez were wrestling playfully nearby, Jean looked at the grass under the blanket and ran his hands over it and was in awe at how smooth it was
the first time Jean went to a party
the Trojans just won a game and wanted to celebrate, so of course they made Jean come along, and at first he’d been apprehensive, but then Jeremy grinned at him and it turned out to be not so bad
the first time Jean genuinely smiled
unsurprisingly, it was because of Jeremy, who made a stupid pun that Jean wanted to groan at, but he found it humorous somehow so he just… couldn’t help it
the first time Jean failed and didn’t beat himself up over it
the Trojans rarely lose a game, but sometimes Jean can’t stop a shot that should have been easy. One day he can’t block a shot and he’s surprised to realize he’s just thought “I’ll do better next time”
the first time Jean lets himself love
it’s not just Jeremy, but also Laila and Alvarez, who show him that love isn’t supposed to be painful or possessive or suffocating and who give him the courage to let the team love him
its 2am and i need to be up in six hours here are some sonny headcanons
-he came over from dr when he was two, and everyone loved sofía, usnavi’s baby cousin -when he was six he cut most of his hair off with scissors, liked the look of it, and kept doing it even though it looked awful -by the time he was eight, a teenage daniela sat him down in the salon chair and told him not to move his ass before she was done -it became a tradition that daniela would cut his hair every month (it grew really quickly) -he was twelve when puberty hit and he realised this body isn’t mine -vanessa walked in on him trying to bind his chest with bandages and didn’t know what to do, so she got nina because nina always knew what to do -nina started researching, using the shitty computers in the library, and found safer ways to diy bind -nina sat down with him and talked to him about pronouns and names and coming out, but so did vanessa -the three of them debated over names for nearly a month -they finally decided on sonny and the girls started using his name and pronouns immediately and he cried -daniela was the first person he came out to after nina and vanessa, and she was confused but not really surprised (she promised not to tell anyone until he was ready) -he wrote usnavi a letter with nina’s help and usnavi freaked and went to find nina because what the hell and have i been a shit cousin for not noticing? -but after talking to nina who explained everything because she’s a literal saint and i love her he went and hugged sonny and told him that he loved him and they both cried -most of the barrio found out pretty quickly after that (sonny gave daniela permission to talk about it and suddenly everyone knew) -kevin rosario some people were dicks at first and most people messed up pronouns and didn’t understand but not so little nina rosario was there to set them straight and vanessa was there for backup -for his fourteenth birthday nina and vanessa (and a few other members of the barrio) saved up to buy him a binder and they all pretended he didn’t cry when he opened it -when he met pete he was cis-passing and struggled with feeling like he was lying to pete but also not wanting pete to look at him differently -he finally came out to pete a few months after they became close friends and pete shrugged and gave him a one-armed hug -when he realised that he was in love with had a crush on pete he swore nina to secrecy before he waxed poetic about pete’s eyes -nina is his best friend they sit on the fire escape and talk about boys -they skype weekly when she’s in california and sonny snapchats her pictures of the barrio so she doesn’t get homesick -he makes the best brownies in new york and camila really wants the recipe but he guards it with his life -”with 96000 i’d get top surgery and go on t finally fix housing” -after they win the lottery he goes on t -he kisses pete for the first time nineteen days after his sixteenth birthday under the fireworks during the blackout -he gets top surgery for his eighteenth birthday -pete looks after him during recovery -he’s a huge shakespeare nerd and regularly fights nina on the merits of mercutio x benvolio vs. mercutio x tybalt -he cries a lot but hates that he’s a “crybaby”
Neither of them even batted an eyelid when Lardo gave Ford her dibs, agreeing that having a manager in the Haus was a great idea.
They were both ready to share the attic, had been making more of an effort with each other when they realised it might happen.
And once Nursey and Dex did, they realised they had so much more in common than they expected. Maybe sharing the attic would even be fun.
But they don’t get the attic dibs together.
Nursey gets them from Ransom and Holster, and he stares at them in disbelief.
“So, the Haus will be me, Ford, Bitty, and Chowder?” he clarifies before accepting.
“Yep.” Ransom says “It gets loud, and hectic, but you’ll love it man”
“Its way more fun than dorms. More like family in a way.” Holster says.
“So,” Ransom says, holding out his left hand for Nursey to shake, “Do you accept these dibs?”
Nureey nods and shakes his hand. As he does, he can’t help wondering how Dex is going to take this news, and where he’s going to stay next year.
Dex hears about it an hour later, when he comes back from class. Chowder is excitedly telling Nursey about how great it’ll be being Hausmates. But he shuts up when he sees Dex is there, and he and Nursey look almost guilty.
It takes a moment but he puts two and two together and realises whats happened while he was retaking a class he did last semester.
“So you got dibs?” Dex asks Nursey casually “Nice one man.”
Nursey nods, and Dex goes to see if Bitty had baked any cherry pie.
Nursey finishes moving his stuff into the attic, and looks around. The room is huge, and he can’t imagine having all that space after 2 years sharing a dorm.
He’s glad to be out of the dorms, but he wishes it was with Dex. He’d been looking forward to late night conversations in the attic, waking up for practice together, integrating each other’s morning routines into their own. Sharing a desk, and wardrobe, and the bunk beds for 2 years.
Instead, here he was. In a big empty room. Alone.
Just like at home.
Dex had left the job of looking for a dorm room later than usual, he’d been so sure he would be sharing the attic with Nursey. And now he was in a room far from the centre of campus, living next to some freshmen who spent all their time arguing. Loudly.
He’d been so sure he was going to he sharing the attic with Nursey. He’d started looking forward to seeing him almost all the time, helping him stay organized, while he helped Dex stay calm. Walking to and from practice and classes together, randomly running to the Murder stop n shop at 11pm for a junk food run, chirping each other’s music taste.
But now he was in a small bed, under a cheap blanket, listening to people arguing over everything.
Just like home.
“So, how are you liking the attic?” Dex asked Nursey as they walked to Annies. They were tired after their first practice of the season, and decided coffee would help.
“Good. Its good.” Nursey lied. It was not good at all. It was cold, and quiet, and lonely. “How’s the dorm?”
“Yeah, good” Dex lied. It was too dark, too empty, and too noisy for him to sleep much so far. “Better than expected.” he continued, as they joined the queue for coffee.
“Yeah.” Dex said, not able to look at Nursey as he lied again.
They were silent as they decided on orders, and when they sat down, conversation moved to discussing their summers.
It wasn’t until they were leaving Nursey said what he’d been planning to say all morning:
“You know….you could always sleep over in the attic sometime. If you wanted.”
“I could?” Dex asked in surprise. The idea hadn’t occurred to him
“Well yeah. I mean, there is an extra bed so. You could if you wanted.” Nursey explained.
“Yeah. I think that might be nice.” Dex said, and Nursey smiled at him.
“Cool. But if you are, you have to take the bottom bunk.” Nursey said.
“And let your clumsy ass on the top? You’ll fall off in ten seconds flat!” Dex chirped with a grin.
“My room, my rules!” Nursey laughed, and Dex laughed with him.
Maybe they weren’t living together, but this was a good second best.
Dex ends up sleeping at the attic more than he expected. Not that he or Nursey mind that. They have fun together, and don’t argue about room because most of Dex’s stuff is in his dorm. Dex sleeps over once a week if he can, and they talk about anything and everything, before stealing the last of the pie at 2am, and sharing it quietly.
Its fun, and once they start dating, Dex stays over more, so they can have cheap dates, by watching movies in the attic, getting food delivered, or even working on their own projects in companionable silence.
Jimin comes back to the dorms completely worn. He feels kind of noodle-y with his limbs stretched and shaking and over-exerted while also feeling tense, like he can’t unbunch his shoulders. His drooping eyes are screaming at him to go to sleep, and mentally, he feels like a deflated balloon that’s sunk to the floor as the helium slowly leaks out of it.
Basically, he’s tired, he’s cranky, he hasn’t rested all year day, and he would really like a shower and a 12 year long nap.
He comes in the door as quietly as possible, seeing as it’s almost four in the morning, and drops his work out bag by the door. He toes his shoes off and lets both his jacket and his snap back drop to the floor, since he’s not sure he’d be able to remember where the hat and coat rack are if he even cared to try.
Jimin drags his feet toward the kitchen where the light over the sink remains on. He’s focused entirely on the fridge and thinking about downing one of his chocolate protein shakes when he spots Jungkook slumped over the kitchen table, his head resting on his arms and a blanket over his shoulders.