didnos

I feel frustrated or scared when I see people say things like: 

Anyone who says they have D.I.D. without trauma/existential dread/dysphoria/losing time is someone id be wary of. (http://phineaslightfoot.tumblr.com/post/90960265714/so-now-that-im-a-bit-more-calm)

basically saying that without those things you probably don't have DID….

I’m not saying I do because again I don’t have a diagnosis! but it’s the only damn thing that makes sense. 

I have no remarkable trauma…emotional abuse yes… but unless I’m completely missing something from my memory there is nothing I would call trauma.

I also don’t have missing time…Any bad memory lapses I blame on my ADHD (which is diagnosed)

Dysphoria? I don’t know how to categorize that in with dissociation. I’m always uncomfortable in my body. It’s just become normal. I’m not sure if that’s even what they mean.

And what’s existential dread..?

I just read things where people are like “if someone doesn’t have X then they are faking” and In my head I’m just b-b-b-but… 

I don’t *want* to have DID I just want a fucking explanation for what’s been going on in my head forever. 

diagnosis only helps if it helps you get better just gotta remember that Autumn… doesn’t matter if other people don’t believe you or whatever. as long as you’re getting better. <3

I have possibly the most understanding, kindest therapist ever. I went in today not sure how I was going to talk about what I knew I needed to talk about, but I opened up anyway and just started talking, and she was fully supportive. She knew right where I was coming from. I hardly had to explain a thing once she got the gist of my position. She gave me a lot of helpful advice and now I just have to try to follow it. Yes, my head is chaos, but yes, there is hope that there can be order. First things first. Set some rules, she said, so I will be setting some rules. For me, myself, and I.

I don’t understand a lot of these terms online. I never knew the term “headmate”. Is that different from an alter? I don’t know, I’ve used terms alter, the term “inner world”, etc. to cover things I’ve experienced since childhood. I keep seeing people talking about how people who call alters headmates are fake? I don’t understand, I thought it was a cutesy term?  

Along with ‘multiple’ I always thought that was a sort of more comforting term for when referring to it? Prior to finding the community online I used the terms in the materials my therapist gave me about DID. “Fronting” was always “Hosting”, that sort of thing. I don’t get it?

How do I even begin to tell my therapist that I feel like there are other people in my head and they can take over my body and control me and I talk with them… I’m so terrified to do that. I brought it up vaguely at out first session but I’m still scared every time I talk about it out loud.

D.I.D. without trauma/with minimal trauma?

This is the biggest problem I have I think… I have had no trauma in my childhood apart from emotional abuse and the divorce of my parents at age 5 but I doubt that’s enough to create the alters I am facing. 

So what the hell is going on? 

Is it entirely possible that I do have a trauma but the memories ARE hidden from me? I don’t like thinking this. It’s too scary for me to think about. But if I had no major trauma then… why the hell do I have a super protective alter from as far back as I can remember… advice??

anonymous asked:

I think I might have DID. But I'm not sure. Is it possible to have a somewhat "weak" DID?

I think perhaps you are asking about DIDNOS, aka Dissociative-Identity Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. DIDNOS is not necessarily a “weaker” form of DID; rather it’s a label for a case in which the person’s symptoms do not meet the specific criteria of DID but have essentially the same function/structure. For more information, look in the DSM, consult a mental health professional, and/or credible internet and library resources! Good luck. xox

ritualabuse.us
The Diagnosis and Assessment of Dissociative Identity Disorder : S.M.A.R.T.'s Ritual Abuse Pages

This paper will describe the methods and criteria used for diagnosing and assessing Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). The symptoms and etiology of DID will be discussed. The use of client histories, different psychological tests and the test results of different test items will be discussed in terms of their applicability to a diagnosis, as well as their validity and reliability.

Great article from 2003 about the diagnostic criteria and process for DID or OSDD/DIDNOS. Obviously a decade old but still valuable and interesting informatoin

Also, mini review on Neurosleep.

I got it at a miscellanious gas station a few days ago and wanted to try it to see if it would help me get to sleep faster.

My dad, who is a paramedic and knows his shit about drugs, said that with what all was in it, it should work as good or better than a regular melatonin tablet, which is great. 

So on the first night I tried it, I drank about a quarter of the way down, because that’s what someone else had taken who seemed my relative body weight (body mass does matter here, guys!!!). I loved how it tasted, so I drank a little more after that, but nothing significant. I was maybe almost halfway down.

I didn’t get to sleep any faster than usual, and was actually feeling ridiculously drowsy the next morning. I ended up going in-and-out of three levels of coherentness until late in the afternoon. (So if you’re gonna take it, take it before you plan to go to bed, not after hours of unrest.) 

Unimpressed but not wanting to diss it too soon, I tried it again the next night. I drank another two quarters of the bottle, leaving the last quarter for in case that’s what would work after I’ve been introduced to the drugs.

The results were both pleasing and displeasing. Pleasing because I felt almost immediatly drowsy and out-of-focus. Displeasing because despite the numbness of my mind and body, I couldn’t get to sleep. I ended up blacking out after 15 minutes of nightblogger-ish dissociation (no, ‘blacking out’ in this sense did not equal physical sleep). Needless to say, I went to bed at sometime, and woke up at 10 the next morning not feeling that bad. I was happy with what that dosage had done, but was not eager to have to buy a bottle after every 2 doses. I think I’ll try melatonin next.

I just finished it off a few minutes ago because why the heck not, and am starting to feel partially drowsy, but nothing near my other two experiences. 

SUMMARY:

  • Please remember that Neurosleep IS FOR ALL PURPOSES A DRUG and should be treated as such, noting that things such as body mass to dosage and reactions to certain ingredients should be taken into consideration when trying.
  • It works great for some people, but might not work as well for others.
  • I personally wouldn’t recommend it if you have any schizo or dissociative disorders, as the possible muddleness may bring about unwanted symptoms.
  • DON’T DRINK IT ALL IN ONE SITTING UNLESS YOU HAVE TO!!! Again, the entire Neuro line is based around drugs, and it’s important to know what you need when you need it. Drinking it all in one sitting has consequences unbeknowngst to me, though I’m sure we can all take a wild guess.
  • Don’t take it at 1 in the morning if you can help it. Take it when you would get at least a solid 8 hours.

Heyo, anyone with DID/DIDnos where the host/primary/main fronting alter is transgender and seeking medical transitioning? If so can you message me privately? Not here to harass anyone just want to see if there’s any other transgender ppl with did that can relate and talk with me.

And to clarify I do mean people with trauma based did, not otherkin, people with headmates or alters not based on trauma, or anything else.

I feel really stressed out reading about things from other people with DID or talking to other people with it. Obviously, I don’t have an official diagnosis. My psychiatrist never really addressed it because I’ve never properly explained it to her, but I’m also very scared to do so…

But I hear about all these other people. Lost memories. Missing time. Alters taking complete control… 

Osiris never takes over fully (as far back as I can remember) he just is either present in my head or we switch back and forth fighting with each other/talking with each other. He never takes over… maybe he did when I was a child, when I don’t remember things. I’m sure he has memories I don’t know about. 

The mother (I don’t know her name, but this is what I’m calling her) also never took over, just switched back and forth with me to take care of me.

The only one who has taken over entirely is Reed and I’m always co-conscious with him, I’m in the background and he takes the wheel for me… he’s not very “developed” he’s just a shield to protect myself from my emotions. 

I know there is obviously *something* going on here. I only care about diagnosis in as far as they provide me treatment. And what I read does help me. But I’m still afraid I’m making so many things up and that I’m not really having any of this… because I’m nothing like so many others. But then, there is did-nos and very well I could just have that. I just… feel so insecure sometimes about whether I’m being real and honest to myself about this or if I’m just pretending. 

All I know is what I feel and what I feel seems real… 

So not that the internet is a diagnostic tool or anything but you know since I don’t have therapy I just sort of roll with the internet. 

But I’ve started doing a ton of research ever since idlnmclean mentioned dissociative disorders in regards to the voices I hear and the fact that I used to refer to myself as “we”.

And the more I’m learning the more I’m starting to realize it’s highly likely that I don’t suffer from psychosis but instead from dissociation. I’ve heard of it before of course but never really jumped at it because I’ve never had a chance to look over all my symptoms when I’m clear headed (thanks, prozac) and holy shit it’s kinda weird how much I fit into a DIDNOS profile. 

Again the internet is not a diagnostic tool but umm just took this test and I’m in range so yeeeah.

I won’t go around saying “I am didnos” or some shit cuz it really isn’t an identity for me I just like to know more about myself and so know that I don’t fucking hallucinate demons is a really cool, reassuring thought, even if the alternative are those demons are actually parts of me that I had difficulty incorporating with my own self.

tl;dr: I might have a dissociative disorder and not psychosis