didn't want to seem like more of a dork than i actually am

  • I saw someone do this for 17 [I reblogged to the side blog] and decided to do my thoughts then [1st impressions] and now on NCT-
  • Taeil Then: Who? *Inspects 7th Sense MV*
  • Taeil Now: Literally my angel!!! A talent unmatched bitch, that's how he got into Hanyang Uni music program with an odds of 1:400- A kissass who doesn't know kitchen saftety™
  • Hansol Then: ...Does he speak???
  • Hansol Now: Sendin out mixed signals and causing chaos in the fandom :') A cute froggy boi who got hips like no other tho-
  • Johnny Then: Who 2.0????? This basement boy from Chicago with a damn shoelace around his arm in Hide & Freak- ...He fine tho-
  • Johnny Now: A fuckin meme, the type to use gross pick-up lines. He's a dork, but I love him! Y'all heard his soft singin voice?!?!!?!?! A GENTLE GIANT with the best predebut pics.
  • Taeyong Then: Yas, my eyes be open as fuck, you so damn fine boi! And that edgy ass voice... You're going to be the one to send me to the grave-
  • Taeyong Now: A whiny otaku marshmallow who "just wants to be loved"- I don't think there is a sweeter man alive who can transform into TY Darkness™ so damn quick
  • Yuta Then: I don't really know him... *5 months later* OMF DAFUQ HAPPENED TO HIS HAIR?! ...He still pretty hot tho-
  • Yuta Now: My man™ GOD DAMN💦🔞💯 Yas, high-five my Slytherin boiii! Knockin bitches dead left and right
  • Doyoung Then: Ohhh I love that guy! He's handsome... I want him to be my older brother... That thing he does with his voice in the "Oooh yeah" part is my fav-
  • Doyoung Now: A mom. He's annoying- No, I love him actually, such talent and everything~ People be sleeping on his visuals tho...
  • Ten Then: Am I the only one who liked his 7th Sense hair??? I have mixed feelings, he seems thug-
  • Ten Now: A fluffy boi!!! The softest™ Bit of a nasty kiddo who don't wash his hands tho- BFF goals
  • Jaehyun Then: Can't tell if he tol or not... Cool hair tho^^ Knocked over his mic :')
  • Jaehyun Now: Half fuckboi [named Jeffrey] sendin out smirks and winks and half shy boy [Named Jaehyun/Yoonoh] who covers his face in embarrassment after dancing... A real husband, so lovable~
  • Win Then: ...This guy with the fucked up hair? Um? I don't think he had any lines in the song... but he did a flip!
  • Win Now: A pure boi everyone loves! He's so sweet and kind, but has been bewitched by Yuta and is heading down a mysterious path, calling people kissasses... Deserves to be spoiled.
  • Mark Then: OMF HE'S YOUNGER THAN ME!!! LONG ASS RIDE™ MY FELLOW NORTH AMERICAN HOMIE! YOU COOL~
  • Mark Now: The fucking sweetest and kindest, most thoughtful boy who has done more with his life thus far than I will in 20 years... A busy boi who I want to take care of :')
  • Haechan Then: ...He's so young... I didn't know people were born after 2000...
  • Haechan Now: I didn't know people were born after 2000... Got one of those high range voices and is having a fucking Jungkook glow-up- It's happening too fast! Highkey a snake tho, but I'd still spoil him-
Remember me (Pt.1)
  • <p> <b>Requests:</b> Open!<p/><b><p></b> <b>A/N:</b> English is not my maternal language, sorry if this has any grammatical errors.<p/><b><p></b> <b>Summary:</b> Bucky and Y/N have a very close friendship. Both are part of the Avengers. He has a girlfriend and is going to take the big step. She instead, suffers a serious accident that changes everything.<p/><b>Characters:</b> Avengers, Bucky, Fem!Reader, OFC (Reader parents, brother...)<p/><b>Genre:</b> Drama, family, angst, romance, hurt/comfort.<p/><b>Warnings:</b> Curse/Swearing, car accident.<p/><b></b> •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°<p/><b></b> "Two pairs of ACEs, I've won you all!" I exclaimed excited.<p/><b></b> "Oh, come on!" Clint complained after his defeat.<p/><b></b> "For once that I could win!" Nat said frustrated.<p/><b></b> "For once that Tony doesn't play and I have a chance of winning, Y/N makes us to bite the dust! Great!" Bucky said passing his peanuts to me.<p/><b></b> "Thanks, Buck! I'll enjoy your peanuts!"<p/><b></b> "How is it possible that you've won? If you supposedly are bad playing at this?" Clint asked quirking an eyebrow while passing me his nuts.<p/><b></b> "Oh, well... Let's say that I have learned from the best!" I answered to Clint as I winked at Tony.<p/><b></b> "Anyone could win this game." the Stark genius said.<p/><b></b> "It also have to do with the thing that you usually visit Las Vegas?" Nat questioned to Tony, I laughed<p/><b></b> "Maybe." Tony shrugged while he laughed.<p/><b></b> I looked at all my friends who seemed to enjoy the moment.<p/><b></b> "Anybody wants some coffee?" I asked while getting up from the couch of the common room<p/><b></b> "I would like to" Steve and Clint said at the same time.<p/><b></b> "Thank you, Y/N." said Steve with a smile.<p/><b></b> "You are welcome, Cap!" I smiled at him.<p/><b></b> "I'll be back with your coffee, gentlemen." I said while I went to the kitchen.<p/><b></b> "Smells good." Bucky said as he approached me.<p/><b></b> "I know, my coffee is the best"<p/><b></b> "No doubt about it, doll"<p/><b></b> "Hey, how are things with Molly?" I ask to my dear friend.<p/><b></b> "Great, actually, everything is going well. The other day we went out and... well, I proposed marriage. She accepted"<p/><b></b> "Hold on... seriously?" I asked unbelieving, he nodded proudly. " Oh my god, congratulations, Buck!" I hugged him. "You deserve it! Oh, my... God..."<p/><b></b> A strange feeling woke up inside me after think and think again about what he said. I ignored it.<p/><b></b> "Sush, low your voice, Y/N!". He said in a whisper. "Nobody knows anything, you're the first person to know it."<p/><b></b> "Oh! Really? Why?"<p/><b></b> "Why will it be, Y/N?"<p/><b></b> "I do not know..." I shrunk my shoulders.<p/><b></b> "Because you're my best friend, why else?"<p/><b></b> Ouch.<p/><b></b> I laughed "Maybe because you love me?"<p/><b></b> "Well, maybe. Yeah. And you and Jeff? How are you doing?" He changed the subject.<p/><b></b> "We are doing... well." I lied.<p/><b></b> "Are you sure?"<p/><b></b> "No." I admitted "We broke up."<p/><b></b> "Why?" He asked "You were going to live together."<p/><b></b> "I know, but according to him..." I talked "I'm in love with someone else and you know, jealousy kills a relationship."<p/><b></b> "And that's true." he supported his hand on my shoulder and went to hug me "And how you feel about it? Did you talk again?"<p/><b></b> "Sincerely, I'm feeling better than I thought, we broke up the other day and... I don't feel sad or depressed, and that... makes me think that I am insensitive, I don't know, Bucky... We didn't talk since he left my house."<p/><b></b> "Don't say that! Perhaps now you maybe don't feel the need to cry and feel bad, it need not to be just after the break up, you know? It can be when you least expect it or just when you're ready to let you feel that."<p/><b></b> "You are right, Barnes, thank you." I hugged him again.<p/><b></b> "Hey... you know that you can count on me, right? Always"<p/><b></b> "I know. I know." I whispered "Thank you, Sergeant."<p/><b></b> "It is nothing. Come on, let's bring them the coffee." He said while the returned to the living room.<p/><b></b> "Yes, sir"<p/><b></b> [...]<p/><b></b> "So you will come, Y/N?"<p/><b></b> "Huh? Sorry, I was with the paper work... What's up?" I raised the view.<p/><b></b> "I was wondering if tomorrow you will come to the cinema with us, and with Laura and the kids?" Clint asked with a smile.<p/><b></b> "Yes of course!"<p/><b></b> "That's great!" Nat exclaimed "I won't be the only single while these two spend the film flirting!<p/><b></b> I laughed. That also make me it to my.<p/><b></b> My phone rang, it was my father.<p/><b></b> "Excuse me, I'll be right back, guys." It took me a bit to answer the call. "Dad?"<p/><b></b> "Hello sweetheart, how is everything going with the Avengers?" my father asked<p/><b></b> "Dad! It is been so long without knowing about you!" I said as I looked around "Everything is going really well. And you? Who are you doing?" I questioned happy.<p/><b></b> "Well, hey, bubble..."<p/><b></b> "Dad... how many times I said do not call me that... Tell me, what happen?"<p/><b></b> "Listen, I'm coming home"<p/><b></b> "Really? If so, when?" I asked excited, since it would be the first time that I would see my father in 18 months.<p/><b></b> "In two days I'll get to New York."<p/><b></b> "This Sunday, I..." I whispered "Then I'll pick you up at the airport, yes?"<p/><b></b> "Y/N, you don't need to take the trouble." he said calmly.<p/><b></b> "Dad, like it or not, I'll do it. And then we're going to enjoy the best lunch ever, alright?" I smiled.<p/><b></b> "You're just as stubborn as your mother." he said nostalgically.<p/><b></b> "So? What we can do now about that?" I said funny. "How long is going to be your permission?"<p/><b></b> "About that is what I wanted to talk to you. Honey, I've retired, I've left the army."<p/><b></b> "What!? When!"<p/><b></b> "Bubble, I have to go, this weekend I'll explain you everything."<p/><b></b> "Okay, bye dad. I love you."<p/><b></b> "I love you too, Y/N, bye." I smiled, finally I would see my father.<p/><b></b> Once finished the brief conversation with my father, I finished the paperwork that I had, then I cooped up my things, I said goodbye to everyone and went to my apartment. I was accompanied by Bucky, who had been waiting for a while. We were heading to the garage.<p/><b></b> "Do you want me to take you home?" I asked him.<p/><b></b> "No- well, Yes." he said awkwardly.<p/><b></b> "Yes or not, Barnes?" I laughed.<p/><b></b> "Not or Yes? What?"<p/><b></b> "Oh, god! This is been the weirdest conversation ever!"<p/><b></b> "Yeah, actually" he smiled at me.<p/><b></b> I loved his smile.<p/><b></b> "Y/N, can you take me to the Italian restaurant?" He asked nervously.<p/><b></b> "Sure! Will you be dining there with Molly?"<p/><b></b> "Exactly, doll. Why?"<p/><b></b> "Nah, for nothing, I wanted to congratulate her."<p/><b></b> "Congratulate her? Why?"<p/><b></b> What a dork.<p/><b></b> "Of course, aren't you going to marry her?"<p/><b></b> "Oh, yeah!" He laughed.<p/><b></b> After that and the short trip to the restaurant, I congratulated Molly for agreeing to marry Sergeant Barnes, because thankfully, I would not be the only one next to Steve that we would have to worry about him.<p/><b></b> But it saddens me in some way, although I do not know why I feel this, that there are things that are going to change.<p/><b></b> [...]<p/><b></b> I snorted.<p/><b></b> "I hate traffic! Damn traffic!" I said taking my hands to my head. "I should have gone through the other way ... But no! I had to go down the main street... Great! Just great!"<p/><b></b> I turned the radio on. The music they played rumbled in my head, but at least it made something more enjoyable the wait.<p/><b></b> Again. Damn traffic.<p/><b></b> It waited 15 minutes, when the thing finally seemed to move on and I was able to follow the road without more problems, but the traffic light turned red, so I had to stop, again.<p/><b></b> My phone started ringing. I could not find it, it had to be on the seat next to me. I looked for it and it appeared under the passenger seat, I bent to take it.<p/><b></b> It was for an instant that all around me was illuminated, a blinding light prevented me from seeing well and a sound like the horn of a truck. It came from the same direction as the light.<p/><b></b> A strong impact, hit my car and caused several dangerous turns. I saw the crystals break and I heard a loud metallic noise before everything darkened.<p/><b></b> Everything happened very fast.<p/><b></b> I saw nothing. Everything was dark, it was like if the world had disappeared. As if there was nothing.<p/><b></b> "Miss? Help! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! We need help!" I heard a distant voice shouting for help, I suddenly opened my eyes and saw that I was face down, inside the car yet.<p/><b></b> I shook my head a little, I looked around, everything was backwards. I saw everything double and each time the voices were more distant. I tried to stay awake, but I felt my eyes close. I really tried not to lose consciousnes.<p/><b></b> "Now I understand that... What Jeff told me..." I thought. "Funny. It was true."<p/><b></b> Shit.<p/><b></b> "I'm in love with him. I'm ... in love with Bucky," I whispered before being embraced by the darkness.<p/><b></b> And well, then, everything just changed.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
Character And Conundrum

by Rory Kinnear

When I was very little I didn’t want to be an actor. I wanted to be a butcher. Or a goalkeeper. Early in my adolescent years I took the risk of appearing as Sir Epicure Mammon in The Alchemist and Pandarus in Troilus and Cressida and then, finding to my young astonishment that I was getting attention and some praise for my performances, I began to think that acting might be a better fit. My father had been an actor, but he had died when I was ten, and so in lots of ways I had to discover it for myself.

One of the things that I discovered, and which became clear especially when I was at university and working on Buckingham in Richard III and Petruchio in The Taming Of The Shrew, was that what I got most excited by was the rehearsal process. It seemed to require identifying the particular conundrums that a play and character threw up, the various forks in the road ahead, examining them thoroughly, and then making a decision. There wasn’t necessarily a right decision – especially, as I discovered to my delight, with Shakespeare – but there had to be a decision. I tend to approach parts initially just by thinking about them, and then afterwards I try to figure out what works well in the doing – they’re two different disciplines really, for me – and then I try to marry them up to get a wholly successful and coherent performance, which then needs to fit in with the design, direction, other actors, and all the other aspects of a production which must combine so that everything is working together and everyone is trying to tell the same story.

Rest of the essay under the cut. Beware: a long damned read.

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