didn't even have caffeine


help i cant stop drawin my anime kid aaaAAAA (guess they’re officially an OC now… GDI)


aand here’s part two of that picspam from tonight’s show,with special polaroid guest star from thecrimsoncrash (part 1 is here)

so funny story kinda

I was on the barricade, which was hella close to the stage. like, I could reach out and easily touch the edge of it. which means that whilel  most of us on the barricade were generally keeping our hands down anyway so we wouldn’t block anyone’s view, when he came over and reached out toward everyone, I definitely kept my hands down so I wouldn’t like… get shoved and accidentally tag him in the balls. no thanks.

well apparently Gerard took issue with me not raising my hands or something because at one point during ‘television all the time’ (or 'stop leaving’ according to the setlist) he came over and just like… held his hand out over my head. while making eye contact.


so I put my hand up close to his thinking he wants a high five maybe? idk.


he laces his fingers through mine and holds my hand.


I try to just give his hand a quick squeeze and let go but everyone behind me has realized they can also reach and clamped their hands down over ours. I let go but my hand went nowhere. everyone else was squeezing our hands together so tightly that I couldn’t get loose. so I was trapped with my fingers still entwined with his for like a solid minute. he didn’t seem to care but I kind of wanted to die. or gnaw my arm off.

and that’s how a bunch of strangers forced me to awkwardly hold hands with Gerard Way.

after the show we got to say hi and get hugs (which were thankfully not as awkward). he asked how I’d been and I didn’t want to lie but I also didn’t want to be a downer so I compromised with 'I think I’ll be ok again eventually.’

I didn’t have any art for him this time, so he signed my pill bottle.

it’s funny, we’re both pretty awkward and fucked up but I feel like we just get eachother sometimes.


I have literally 2,5h of sleep left before I will have to wake up and study
I feel dead inside