I’ve tried to write this letter to you so many times that you think I would have already figured out what it is that I want to say to you. I’ve tried to write this letter to you so many times that I even put them in envelopes but then I realize that you aren’t in my life anymore. You aren’t here anymore. To love me or to make the bad dreams go away. I never liked being with other people, never really was one for company. But you.. you. Your presence and well being was enough for me even if you only stayed for 5 minutes. My point is, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed having you around which is scary for me cause I never really enjoy anything anymore. I guess that’s why I broke your heart before you got the chance to break mine. I guess I didn’t like that you had the power to destroy me so I destroyed you.. Sicking, I know. You loved me so well and I didn’t know what to do with that love. I didn’t know where to put it. I don’t know how to be loved or to accept love and I think that’s my problem. I was never loved right so it made me cold and for that I made you cold and I want you to know how sorry I am. I am sorry that I ended things between us with no warning or signs or hints, as if you’re suppose to give hints. God, I am so sorry. I hope one day you can look back and understand why I did what I do even if I don’t understand it myself. I loved you. I still love you but that doesn’t matter because you’re not here. You’re not here to hear me say that I love you. You’re not here to wipe the tears away when the world gets to hard for me. I guess what I wanted to say is thank you. Thank you for choosing to love me when you could of loved anyone else. Thank you for loving me. All of me. You’re going to live forever in me.
— This is Goodbye//pt. 1// Deeply Feeling Series