did you have to raphael

  • simon: [drinks from a rat]
  • elaine: what the- [calls doctor]
  • also elaine: raphael sweet boy i need you to come here asap and check on your bf, my beautiful angel son, i know you love him and he'll listen to you pls
  • raphael: [drops everything and arrives in 2min flat]
  • elaine: let me just [closes the door]
  • also raphael: i ain't no delivery man amigo
4

Requested by weirdnewbie

“Did you do this all by yourself” you asked Raphael after you two had a great start to Valentine’s Day. Raphael opened his mouth but was quickly interrupted.

“Well he had a little help from yours truly” Magnus said showing up out of nowhere. He had a proud smirk on his face. Raphael however glared at his warlock friend.
“But… I assure you Raphael did majority of the work. I do have a little surprise for you two. How does a trip to Italy sound.

"It sounds fantastic!”.

“Alright let’s get this done quickly so I can return to Alexander. Hope you kids have fun on your trip”.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Raph: Gummy Bears

“can i requests GUMMY BEARS plesaeeee
Raphael please 😄
Thank you 😘” - @jam-jar2

Alright, time for the first #candy game post! Time to find out Raph’s most embarrassing/awkward moment!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Raphael’s most embarrassing moment was also one of the best. It was when you found out that he liked you.

He was in his room with Spike, talking to him about what was on his mind, as per usual. However, rather than one of the common rants or empowerment talks he usually had with the unmutated turtle, that day his mind was elsewhere. It was on you.

“Ugh… what am I gonna do..?!” He asked his companion, kneeling beside his bed as his upper body spread across the dark red sheets. “I don’t know what wrong with me! I just can’t get him/her out of my head! It’s almost like…” He paused, his head slowly rising from where it had been buried in his crossed arms. “No. Nononono I can’t have a crush! Not on (Y/N)! We’re friends, that’s all there is to us! All there ever will be!” Spike looked up at his troubled friend from his own spot on the bed, taking a short break from munching his lettuce, only to almost immediately resume eating.

This is where you came in. You were walking past the red clad turtles room when you heard his loud but muffled voice coming from inside. Curious, you peeked inside through the small gap in his closed-too door.

“Why does this have to be so freaking hard and confusing?!” He groaned. “AUGH! I JUST WISH I NEVER MET HIM/HER!” At those words, the entire world stopped spinning. Was he…? No, he couldn’t possibly be talking about you! Although this would explain why he’d been avoiding you lately… and why he never talked to you anymore. “Goddamn it (Y/N), why did you have to show up and do this to me?!” Your heart shattered.

Raphael hated you.

You were about to leave and make b-line for the exit, before Raph spoke once more, in a slightly softer tone.

“Why did you have to show up like this..? With your stupid, adorable face. Your dumb, soft hair…
Your insanely incredible personality. Your small, gentle hands. Your pretty- No. Beautiful body. And, oh god, those incredible, gorgeous, (Y/E/C) eyes… I can’t count the amount of times I’ve found myself lost in those eyes.” He paused, sighing dreamily as he bought of you. “Damnit, I love him/her.”

Your eyes went wide and a blush crept to your cheeks. He… loved you. As a small smile plastered on your face you decided it was time to make your grand entrance, and opened the door. Letting out a small, surprised shriek, Raph jumped up, his face beet-red. However, he relaxed slightly upon realising it was you.

“(Y/N)? H-How long have you been..?” He stopped, cursing himself for stuttering as you chuckled slightly.

“Long enough.” You said, a crooked smirk forming on your lips. “Long enough to hear what you have to say about me.” Raph’s eyes looked ready to burst from their sockets, and his mask faded into the new colour of his face. You’d heard everything he said, and you both knew there was no way he could deny any of it.

For the first time in Raphael’s life, he could do nothing but stand there like a fool and blush.

You let out another small chuckle, stepping closer to him as he watched you fearfully. Suddenly, without warning, you pecked his cheek and any fear he had, had melted away.

“I love you too.” You whispered, making the goofiest smile spread his face.

“Y-You… you love.. hehe oh… oh god..” He soon found himself laughing like a maniac, collapsing onto his bed and holding his head in his hands.

“Raph?” You asked nervously. “You okay there buddy?”

“Y-Yeah yeah I’m fine… just… holy cow, you love me…”

“Heh, come on, we should go tell the others the good news!”

“Yeah, of coarse! But could you just give me a sec…?”

“Uh… sure, but why?”

“Cuz I can’t feel my legs anymore and I think I’m gonna faint.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Long story short, embarrassing moments for Raph are a rarity, but when they do happen it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever seen.

Date Night

Request: Could you do an imagine where your Izzy’s Parabati and best friend and in order to help Simon and Clary,you agree to go a date with Raphael since it’s what he wants out of the deal and after the date Izzy makes fun of you because she knows you secretly had a good time as much as you deny it?? 

Pairing: ReaderXRaphael // ReaderXIzzy 

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I had a great time writing this for you and I hope its what you had in mind! Thank you so much for your request I loved the concept and overall idea! Hope you enjoy :D

Originally posted by audreyjensen

*GIF is not mine*

Y/n’s POV

“ I will only co-operate if Y/N….. will go on a date with me…” Raphael said confidently whilst holding Simon at the throat. Clary yelped when he tightened his grip round her best friends neck.

You quickly glanced to the rest of our group, Izzy was smirking to herself obviously enjoying the fact her best friend had basically just been asked out.

“ No way! Just give us Simon!” Jace screamed . The vampire just rolled his eyes at him and carried on staring at me with his coal black eyes, and it was sort of intimidating.

“Look, I will do it” you say calmly, walking towards Simon and keeping eye contact with Raphael. You grabbed Simon’s arm and directed him towards the group and stood near the Downworlder.

“ I will catch you guys up” you say to the group. Eventually, after all of the worried looks the group, they all nodded and headed back to the Institute.

Finally turning to Raphael and give him a bored expression, crossing your arms over my chest.

“ So, what time does this ‘date’ start” you say sarcastically using air quotes on the word date.

He looked nervous, after what seemed like an eternity of looking at the ground he finally looked you in the eye.

“ Well, I was thinking maybe a dinner and a movie? At.. lets say 7 pm ” he says quietly, just loud enough for me to hear.

“ Sounds good, see you then” you smile genuinely. His face light up at your words, he was adorable. You eventually started to head back to the Institute when your phone beeped. Quickly you pull it out of your pocket and check who the text was from.

Izzy ;)

Heyyyy where are you????

You quickly tell her “I’m on my way”, but then realize you were actually here.

As soon as you walk into the hallway you see Clary running towards you, suddenly it was a struggle to breath in her tight hug.

“ Thank you so much for saving Simon! I owe you one!” She rambled at you so quick you almost didn’t understand.

“ Its fine…” You try to catch your breath “ Clary… Please… can you let go now..” You whisper, she suddenly let go and smiles weakly before returning to Simon. Who was currently laying down in the infirmary, poor kid.

Heading straight to Izzy’s room, you needed her expertise on fashion to get ready for this date.

Knocking gently as you open your Parabati’s door. You enter the room only to be greeted with Izzy smirking.

“ Well, well, well its about time you got here!” She states running to her closet, pulling out different items of clothing, which you knew you would never choose to wear.

“ What are you doing?” You ask sitting on her bed with your legs crossed.

“ I’m looking for an outfit for you to wear tonight silly” she giggles shaking her head. You just sigh and pull your phone out. It was 5:45 pm already! You jump up and run to your room. You needed to shower.

After showering you walked back to Izzy’s room in just a towel.

“ Right i have laid out you clothes, so go put them on. Then we can get started on your hair and make up!” She squealed like a child, someone was excited.

“ Thanks Mom ” you laugh, she was treating you like her child that was about to go on their first date.

“ You’re welcome, now go get dressed!” She whined, sitting on her bed.

You headed to her bathroom and pulled the clothes on. You could tell Izzy had really tried to find clothes you would wear and to be perfectly honest you loved the out fit.

When you finished you looked into her long mirror on the far wall of the bathroom. She had chose black skinny jeans, a cream over sized jumper and a pair of black lace up wedge boots. It looked really cute.

You walked back out into the bedroom and smiled at your best friend.

“ I love the outfit Iz!” You beamed.

She sighed with relief, and gestured for you to sit down on the bed too. She had all her make up out and her hair curlers were on the nightstand.

“ So what are you doing on the date then?” She asked curiously as she applied some liquid eyeliner, doing a cat eye.

You open one eye and look at her, concentration was plastered all over it. It took all your might not to giggle.

“ Dinner and a movie, I don’t even want to go” you sigh closing your eye again.

“ Of course you do! Raphael is hot” she states. She did have a point, Raphael was completely gorgeous. His dark hair and eyes added fear but mystery to his personality. You had bumped into him a couple of times when vampires were involved in missions. He seemed nice enough, even though he had just kidnapped Simon.

“ Y/N?!” Izzy shouts, snapping you out of your daydream. Opening your eyes, to see Izzy staring at you with an impatient look in her face.

“ Yeah?” You say quietly.

“ I said I’m finished” she sighs “ time to do your hair but first… Here put this on” she says handing you a necklace. You slipped it over your head before she started to do your hair.

15 minuets later and you were ready, and you still had 5 minuets left to spare. You pulled on your black Parka coat, it was freezing outside, and slipped on a cream bobble hat. You were finally ready. Clary, Jace and Alec all waved to you and Izzy as you passed the infirmary.

When you reached the doors of the Institute Izzy pulled you into a hug.

“If he tries any funny business that your not up for just kick him where the sun don’t shine” Izzy whispers

“ You do realize he’s a vampire and he doesn’t have a place on his body where the sun shines ” you giggle, pulling away from the hug.

“ Oh! I totally forgot! I sounded so mean!” She panicked. You just grinned at your best friend’s cuteness.

“ I will see you later” you smiled at her and walked out, only to be greeted with a handsome Raphael holding red roses.

“ Good evening” he says calmly with a slight smirk, handing you the flowers.

“ Good evening Raphael, thank you for the roses” you smiled taking the flowers. You glanced at him and saw he was wearing dark washed jeans, a white shirt and a black blazer.

“ Anything for you, Y/N” he grinned and held his hand out for you to hold. You smiled shyly and breathed “ one moment” and hurried back inside to place the flowers on the passageway table.

You hurry back outside and join Raphael, taking his hand. It was very cold and you internally cursed yourself for not wearing gloves.

“ What do you fancy having for dinner? Italian? Sushi?” He questions as you start to walk down the street hand in hand. Weirdly you were enjoying yourself even though the night had only just began.

“ Italian sounds great” you say giving him a sideways glance with a small smile.

“ I know just the place” he sounded really excited.

You eventually arrived at a small restaurant that was tucked away down a small side street. You and Raphael entered and were surprised by how cozy the place was. A tall gentleman, which was dressed in a suit showed you to a table.

After being handed a menu the waiter scurried off to serve other customers that were arriving.

“ So, what are you thinking about having” Raphael says and you glance over your menu at him, you noticed he didn’t have a menu in front of him, then it hit you what was he going to eat?

“ Emm… I’m not sure, what do you suggest?” You ask politely whilst smiling.

He returned your smile with a grin before telling you that the pepperoni pizza was to die for here.

“ Great, I will get that” you hesitated before asking “ What are you going to have?” You give him a worried glance.

“ Well, luckily this is a downworlder restaurant and they have a special menu for vampires, I’m going to get a pasta dish i think ” he says giving you a slight smile. Before you could reply, the waiter was back.

“ May i take your orders?” He says casually whilst looking at the wall.

“ Can I have the pepperoni pizza please with a diet coke?” You say politely looking at the waiter as he jots down your order.

“ And can I have the vampire pesto pasta please, with a glass of water” he says looking at you.

“ No problem, I will be over with your drinks in a minuet” as he hurried off again.

“ So, Y/N tell me about yourself” Raphael says kindly as he places his hands on the table.

You told him about your interests and hobbies and then he told you about him. You guys joked around and just talked about life, and what you planned to do in the future. Eventually your food arrived.

After you ate you guys headed to the movies. You never really went to the cinema so you had no idea what was showing. When you finally reached the entrance Raphael bought two tickets to Batman Vs Superman.

“ I love Batman” you say happily to Raphael.

“ I love Superman” he says with a smirk, which made you roll your eyes playfully. You had noticed back at the restaurant that Raphael was actually really funny and caring, he had told you about how much he missed his family but joked about how bad it was to be a vampire. You were having a great time with him.

You both found a seat next to each other, before siting down you took your coat off. And placed it on your lap. You were genuinely excited to see the film.

As the opening credits start you feel Raphael touch your hand which makes you quickly glance at him. And without thinking about it you grabbed , and held his hand. You glanced at him again only to see the biggest smile ever plastered across his face, smiling to yourself you put your focus back to the screen to enjoy the film.

As the rolling credits appeared on the screen, everyone started to head out of the large room. You stood up and grabbed your coat, your hand still intertwined with Raphael’s. You guys made it to the doorway, when you stopped to put you coat and hat on.

After a long, great walk back to Institute you finally made it back. You and Raphael had talk about the movie on the way and got into a heated debate on who was better Batman or Superman which just ended up in laughter.

“ I had an amazing time” you say shyly as you look to the ground and then back up to the boy stood in front of you.

“ I had an amazing time too” he says with a boyish smile.

“ We should do this again” you say with a smile “ Only if you want to” you rushed the last part, making him laugh.

“ Of course, I would love to. I totally forgot to tell you how beautiful you look tonight” he says looking at our intertwined hands.

“ Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself” you say jokingly. He grinned at your words, looking to the ground.

“ It was a pleasure Y/N” he says bringing your hand up to his mouth. His cool lips softly kiss your hand, which makes you blush but it was hidden under the rosiness of your cheeks from the bitterly cold weather.

You smile as you make your way up the steps of the Institute, turning and waving as you reach the door.

You sigh with a grin on your face as you lean against the door, after entering.

“ I’m guessing you had a good time?” Izzy said with a sly smirk on her face.

“ It was terrible” you lie.

“ Yeah, yeah so… When’s the wedding?” She teased.

“ What?! We’ve only been on one date!” You stutter out, taking your coat and hat off, as well as your shoes.

“ So there’s going to be a second date ?!” She squealed, clapping her hands happily.

“ No!” You say quickly.

“ You are lying to me, I can tell! You have totally fallen for him!” She says bringing you into a hug. Maybe she was right you had an amazing time with Raphael, he was sweet and charming but also really funny.

“ Okay…. Maybe there will be a second date…” You mutter just loud enough for your best friend to hear.

“ I cant wait… I gave him your number by the way ” she says, pulling out the hug saying she was going to bed, quickly running off before you could say anything. Shaking your your head at how strange your best friend was you head back to your own room and get ready for bed.

After putting your pajamas on and taking the make up Izzy had applied off, you headed over to your bed. Diving under the covers, and grabbing your phone. You unlock it to see you have a text message from an unknown number.

Unknown: Goodnight beautiful xx - Raphael

You smiled at the message and sent one saying goodnight. You lock your phone and placed it on the nightstand before turning your light off. You smiled yourself to sleep, dreaming of the perfect night you had just had.

satanslilslut  asked:

Raphael flirting with simon: u make me feel less dead inside

This is comedy and fluff enjoy you sinner

___________________________

Honestly Raphael did not have the time or the warddrobe choice to go fishing for fledglings in the Hudson river. And yet here he was. Wading in dirty river water while wearing a, now, completely ruined personally tailored  Michael Kors Suit. All thanks to Simon.

When Raphael pulls him safely to shore he punches him square in the jaw.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”

Simon gives him a sort of dazed glassy look. He resembled a puppy that just had it’s first bath.  

“Well  I thought if I could run fast enough I might be able to, theoretically, run across water”

Raphael blinks. Then he blinks again because holy shit that’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

“Are you telling me..”

“don’t”

“That I ruined a perfectly good suit..”

“look..”

“BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO BE JESUS!”

Simon coils back from the leader, very afraid that he may actually throw him back into the Hudson.

Raphael considers it but figures he’d probably go in after him again and the suit has been through enough today.

He has certainly been through enough today.

………………..

He says goodbye to the suit in the proper way.

By burning it.

It’s somewhat because he cant stand the thought of it going in the trash.

It’s mostly because he needs something to take his frustration out on.

………………..

“I wish I was Bella Swan” The fledgling exclaims. He’s lying on his back in the training room, staring up at the ceiling. Raphael takes a moment to appreciate him in all his post-training glory. His hair is a sinful mess and a small bit of his shirt has ridden up showing a nice bit of flesh. Raphael pushes down the thoughts of pressing kisses to that bit of skin and trailing them all the way up if he’s feeling sweet.  If he’s feeling something else he’ll trail them down until..

“She totally got off easy! I mean her vampire training included a lot of sex if I remember it right. How much sex have I had. None. Nought. Nada!” Simon complains, throwing his hands in the air.

“Oh the injustice” Raphael quips back and totally doesn’t think about vampire training sex. Simon throws him a withering look before he slowly moves into a sitting position.

“Help me up, I think I’m ready to start again”

Raphael helps him up and if he held on to Simon’s hand longer than really necessary well that was no ones business.

………………

“Hey Raph?”

“My name is..”

“JOHN CENA” Simon yells and Raphael is horrified to hear Stan enthusiastically kazoo-ing  the ridiculous theme.

This was the sixth time this month. The fledgling is smarter than he looks because he waits for Raphael to forget the joke before doing it again.

And now he’s corrupted poor Stan.

“I loathe you” Raphael says, shoving past a laughing Simon.

“LOVE YOU TOO!” He yells it loud enough that almost everyone in the hotel can hear it.

Raphael regrets a lot of things in his life in that moment.

……………..

The sun was rising and the hotel was slowly getting quieter. Raphael’s favourite part of the day was always this. When everyone makes it in safely and the hotel slowly loses it’s bustle until there isn’t a soul out of their coffin but him.

He makes his way through the empty corridors, walking the familiar path to his room. He hears the occasional rustling from someone not yet asleep but tonight there’s no one in need of a soothing word. It’s a blessing really.

He nears his room but stops before he enters. His next door neighbour was the annoying fledgling. Raphael put him there so he  could keep an eye on him as he seemed to have a knack for getting himself into trouble. When he comes to think of it he hasn’t seen the little pain in his ass all night.

Just to make sure he didn’t run off back to the institute again Raphael decided to check on him. That was his first mistake.

His second mistake was asking Simon what he was up to.

“Movie marathon. Since I finally got internet installed here I’ve been binge watching but I ran out of tv shows days ago. You can get so much done when you don’t have to stop for pee breaks”

“Right..” He said intending to leave before Simon went on one of his pop culture spiels.

“Hey Raph?”

He caught himself just in time. “Yes Simon” He smiles back smugly.  The fledgling looks briefly disappointed and Raphael enjoys the fleeting feeling of success. SImon must pick up on how pleased with himself he’s feeling because of course he wants to ruins Raphael’s good mood.

“Why don’t you watch with me?” It’s said in such a sweet tone, complete with a batting of eyelashes and big puppy eyes.

The douchebag knew how to get under his skin.

“No really I cant”

“Really you can”

His third mistake was not having any form of backbone when met with those pouting lips.

He agrees to watch one movie with Simon.

They end up marathoning the entire Harry Potter series.

His fourth mistake was getting attached to Dobby.

…………….

“Fledgling I swear to god if you die I’ll kill you” Raphael threatens as he scoops a bleeding Simon off of the ground. He tries not to panic too much but it’s kind of hard when holy shit Simon might die.

“Y'know your logic would be unsound in the human world” SImon croaks out. Raphael ignores him and tries to think. Where should he go? Who can make this better? Then it hits him.

“We’re going to Magnus Bane” Raphael says taking off towards his apartment.

“He’ll fix me with glitter” The fledgling mumbles before ungraciously passing out.

“quedarse conmigo un poco más largo” Raphael whispers.  "Dios, you better stay"

………….

The fledgling awakes a day after the demon attack. Raphael drops what he’s doing instantly and rushes to Magnus’s apartment.

“He carried you here in his arms. Princess style. I’ve never seen him more concerned over something that wasn’t clothes..” He hears Magnus say and hell no, he needs to stop that right now.

“He has a thing fo–” “Simon, you'rw awake. Good. Lets get going” Raphael interrupts their conversation before it can go any further.

“Ah ah ah, where’s my payment?” Magnus asks holding out his hand. Raphael sighs and hands over the package that was filled with a bunch of Camille’s old jewellery. At least there was something the evil wench was good for.

“C'mon Raph, I missed an episode of gossip girl while I was passed out” Simon says and he leads Raphael out of Magnus’s apartment by the hand.

He doesn’t let go of Raphael’s hand until they near the Dumort.

………..

It takes a while for Raphael to get any alone time with Simon as it seems everyone in the hotel and they’re uncle were coming to see if he was okay.
The final person leaves the fledglings room and Raphael stands outside the door. Contemplating whether or not he should do this.

“Are you going to come in or just stand there all night?” Simon asks. Raphael inhales, fixes his hair and straightens his shirt before he pushes the door open. Inside Simon is messing with the cd player he had put in his room.

He waves a distracted greeting at Raphael.

“I think we should talk Simon” Raphael starts, because they do. He nearly saw him die …. again. But for real this time. Bury the casket kind. A pleasant crooning comes out from the player and Simon turns his attention to the clan leader.

“Nah” Simon says, making his way over to Raphael. “I can think of better things we could do” He pulls Raphael flush against him.  The fledgling hesitates for a moment before he starts swaying back and forth. Raphael sways with him, arms circling around his shoulders.

“Honestly I though you were going to punch me at first” Simon murmers. It’s not the most romantic thing you can whisper in someones ear but Raphael will take it.

“I still might” Raphael teases back but he’s trying desperately to hide his smile in Simon’s shirt. Simon chuckles and Raphael can feel it.

They sway a bit longer in silence. Letting the music do all the talking for them.
“I have no idea why you like me” Simon admits, burying his head between the junction of Raphael’s neck and shoulder.

Rapheal ponders the statement for a moment. Why does he like Simon? There’s the base level of he’s handsome. He’s got a great ass but thats the least of it. Simon’s smart, he’s tough and brave. He endures and endures and always has a joke or a smile to crack for whoever needs it. Raphael sometimes thinks he’s a foreign creature, sent by god to test his already limited patiends. He sometimes thinks Simon and him are so alike it’s suffocating.  Simon makes him feel things he’s never felt for anyone before. He drives him crazy and he loves every second of insanity.

“You make me feel …  less … dead inside” He replies lamely. He’s never been good with words but this is truely the worst thing he could say to try and articulate how Simon makes him feel. But by the love of the maker Simon gets it.

“You make me okay with being dead” He says  with a soft little smile. Raphael wants to kiss him so bad.  So he does.

He stands on his tiptoes and presses the lightest of kisses on the fledglings lips. With a tilt of his head Simon deepens the kiss, turns it into something more.

Simon always had a knack for making something in place where nothing was before.

………

Raphael awakes to Simon poking him repeatedly.

“Y'know most lovers kiss each other awake” He complains, blinking sleep from his eyes.

“Oh. I didn’t even think of that” Simon says,  a sappy look on his face. Raphael kisses the look right off.

He wont mind being poked awake by insufferable fledglings if it meant he got to kiss them afterwards.

………..

“Hey Raph?”

“That’s not my name”

“Then what’s your name?”

“My na– wait. I will break up with you I swe-”

“JOHN CENA”

Raphael doesn’t break up with Simon. He does break the kazoo

anonymous asked:

Saphael 7 :)

Saphael + Wrong number


When the phone was answered with a very miserable sounding, ‘Hotel Dumont, Raphael speaking, how can I help you?’ Simon was completely thrown.

‘Er…’ was all he managed to say.

‘Sir, can I help you at all?’ the voice on the other end asked. He sounded young and spoke with a Spanish accent.

‘No…sorry…’ Simon said. ‘I think I called the wrong number. Where did you say this was?’

‘Hotel Dumont.’

Simon vaguely remembered passing the Hotel Dumont a couple of times, an old run down place that had once had raving reviews but had since fallen into a state of slight disrepair. Eric’s cousin had stayed there once when she came to New York to visit and she reported that the staff had been unhelpful and rude and the rooms, although nice enough, could do with a good cleaning.

‘Sorry,’ Simon said. ‘Definitely the wrong number.’

‘Don’t apologise,’ the boy sighed. ‘It kills time.’

‘You’re that bored?’

‘You try working in a hotel that’s one more broken window away from falling in on itself.’

Simon giggled. ‘It can’t be that bad.’

‘It is,’ the boy said. ‘There was a leak in one of the guest bathrooms last week and the ceiling almost caved in.’

Simon snorted. ‘How is it even still open?’

‘I think my boss sold her soul to the devil. Either that or she is the devil. That would make an awful lot of sense. Shit, hold on.’ There was a clunk that Simon thought was the phone being placed on a countertop and then the boy speaking in the background. He heard a girl replying.

He waited a few minutes and wondered why he was waiting for some guy he had never met who worked in a hotel he had not meant to call to come back to the phone.

The phone was picked up again. ‘Sorry about that. Lily thinks she’s found a rat in the kitchen.’

‘Are you sure you’re supposed to be telling people that?’

‘Nope,’ he said, sounding rather proud of himself. ‘But anything that fucks up my boss’ day is fine by me, even if it gets me fired.’

‘You hate her that much, huh?’

‘You have no idea.’

‘What did you say your name was again?’

‘Raphael,’ he said. ‘And yours?’

‘Simon. I should probably go figure out where I went wrong with the phone number.’

‘You do that.’ He suddenly sounded miserable again. It wasn’t until then that Simon realised Raphael’s voice had steadily brightened throughout their short conversation.

‘Maybe I should come round sometime and we can make sure Lily really did see a rat in the kitchen.’

‘I’d like that,’ Raphael said.

Simon smiled as he hung up.

Instead of figuring how he had misdialled the phone number, he noted down the Hotel Dumont’s number on a little notepad. Just in case.

Texts and annoyance

The image on his phone just kept staring up at him and he could have sworn there was judgment in those beady eyes. Raphael frowned as he debated just deleting the text message, but his finger just hovered over trashcan icon. Dios, why couldn’t he just ignore the stupid text message? The messages had started out fine and then quickly had gone sideways. Which was why he was staring at the image with a look of mild annoyance. 

A few words escaped him before he finally started to type a reply to the most annoying person in his life.

Raphael: I don’t look like that.

Dulce De Leche: You do. Honest. 

Raphael: I am insulted.

Dulce De Leche: I can even picture you laughing like that…

Raphael: I will literally bleed you dry, idiota.

Dulce De Leche: While counting!

A faint growl escaped his lips as he tossed the phone down onto the leather cushion of the couch. Why did he even bother? Simon was just going to continue on that train of thought until he threatened real pain. The younger vampire just didn’t seem to know when to shut up! Rafe was starting to keep a list in his head of all the things Simon did to annoy him. This text was right up there with the destruction of his favorite jackets. Somehow the younger vampire just knew how to do things that annoyed him to no end. 

He did not look like Count von Count! 

His dark gaze was drawn to the blinking light on his phone. He was not going to answer, no, he was not going to give that idiota the delight of getting under his skin! Raphael had lived a long time and he had learned to build walls. A stupid picture wasn’t going to bother him. Well, that was what he told himself even as he picked up the phone and typed a reply. His fingers moved quickly on the screen as he narrowed his eyes. 

Raphael: Ah hah hah.

Dulce De Leche: I KNEW IT! YOU DID WATCH SESAME STREET! RAPHAEL! MY DAY IS MADE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. 

Raphael: …this is why I hate texting you.

Dulce De Leche: Whaaaaaaaaaaat? You love texting me. 

Dulce De Leche: Raphael?

Ducle De Leche: Rafe? Hey? 

Dulce De Leche: Hello? Did you die?

Raphael: Dios. You are annoying.

Dulce De Leche: Love you too.

A faint smiled appeared on Rafe’s face and he quickly hid it behind his hand. It was amazingly hard to stay annoyed at Simon for some reason. Plus, if he thought about it, Count von Count wasn’t that bad. There were worse fake vampires he could have been compared to after all, like that glittery stalker one. 

Raphael: Si. Now leave me alone, I have some business I am supposed to be focusing on.

Dulce De Leche: Of course. I’ll see you later! Keep on counting! 

Dios, he was going to be stuck with Simon for a very long time. Life was going to be very interesting from now on and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that idea. Raphael closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to figure out his own feelings. 

3 Times Elliott Adopted A Fledgling (+1 Time A Fledgling Adopted Elliott)

Elliott

Prompted by my wife @protectraphaelsantiago

This is a weird mix of book and show canon. Also, just so you know, Jacob is the vampire who appeared in the book series like twice (even less than Elliott) and is just described as being blonde with an earring. Me and @protectraphaelsantiago headcanon him as a former Shadowhunter.


1– Raphael Santiago (1953)

Elliott had not spoken to Raphael yet, but not for lack of trying. Everyone was curious about the new fledgling. The one who had killed his own sire immediately after being Turned. The one who wore a cross and went home to his family every Sunday. The one who intentionally kept himself at a distance from the rest of the clan.      

So it was a surprise when Elliott entered the kitchen one day while the rest of the clan slept and found Raphael leaning against a counter, a glass of blood in his hand, his hair tangled from sleep. He looked exhausted.

‘Hey!’ Elliott said.

Raphael raised an eyebrow.

Elliott retrieved his own blood pack and emptied it into a glass. ‘I didn’t expect anyone else to be awake.’

‘Neither did I.’

‘I have insomnia,’ Elliott shrugged. He spoke as if it wasn’t important, something he had adjusted to a long time ago.

‘That can’t be nice.’

Elliott sipped from his glass. ‘Why are you still up?’

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TMNT Regency AU: Dashing and Demure

Prequel Story

Winter, 1795: Comes Winter, And All Is Grey And Cold

Author: Adoradork

Artist: JBadgr

Master Post

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Yorkton Estate, Sussex

Winter, 1795

Leonardo had just returned to the house from seeing the doctor off, when he heard the thunder of hooves. He hurried to the door and back out into the cold, knowing who would be riding home through the night.

Raphael rode into view, the yellow lamplight shining on the buckles of his lieutenant’s coat. Mud coated his boots and the legs of his horse. He flung his reins to the stableman and slid out of the saddle into the slushy mire of the drive. “Was that the doctor’s carriage I passed?” he said, striding over to Leonardo.

“It was.” Leonardo gripped his brother’s hand in greeting. “He will not be returning. There is no point.”

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fail-writer  asked:

What are your feelings about accidental baby acquisition?? Because I keep thinking about a supernatural child being left at Hotel Dumort but it's not a vamp so Raph's like 'that could cause a war' and Simon's like 'BABY!!' and just-

(cont) BUT SIMON’S REALLY BAD WITH KIDS?? What do they eat? Why do they cry? Why is it biting me? Holy shit RAPH THE BABY NYMPH BIT ME. Then Simon goes to the store and comes back to the sight of Raphael singing a lullaby softly

I’m so !!!!!!!!!!!!!! raphael singin lullabyes to the baby and simon walks in and stares at him, hoping that raphael wont see him because wow raphael is actually a really good singer? and it’s really calming? 

also imagine that they have to take shifts taking care of the baby. like. simon takes care of it while raphael is doing Important Vamp Business Stuff™ and then raphael comes back to not only the baby crying, but simon in tears muttering something like “it won’t listen…”

and raphael is like “simon it’s a fucking baby. give it to me.”

the baby falls asleep in raphael’s arms instantly.

“how did you–”

“you have a lot to learn about being a dad,” raphael winks, and holy shit? this is actually happening? he and raphael have a chiild that they have to take care of????? 

and it slowly grows because they have to take care of it together so they’re with each other more often and shit?? raphael is really kind and loving apparently??? and simon’s not annoying as raphael initially thought and he’s making an actual effort to take care of the child?? and he’s actually getting better??? and shit, they both think: i could get used to the two of us like this and im emo

anonymous asked:

Can you post a little sneak peek of your 50s AU pleaaaseee? I'm dying here!!

Nothing in this sneak peek is 100% permanent since it’s still just a draft and maybe I’ll change something, maybe I won’t, maybe I’ll delete this part all together!!

Saphael 50s AU sneak peek under the cut!

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