Summary: Heading to Pops after the reoccurring verbal fight between your sibling and Dad, your boyfriend notices how tired you look. Admitting the fighting he takes you to his favourite place to wait for to calm down. Things get heated quick between Jughead and you.
Characters: Jughead x reader, Hermione Lodge, and Archie Andrews (mentioned)
Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the characters. I also want to clarify, in the tv series Jughead is NOT asexual and this is based on the series not the comics.
Warnings: Fluff, mention of fighting, and smut
Tagging: At the bottom
A/N Someone posted wanting Jughead smut because there isn’t. Under the forever tags I’m adding them to a Riverdale taglist. If you want off please let us know.
The night was cold, the type of cold that seeped through the thickest of jackets and clung for hours. The type that made you think that you would die from hypothermia at any point despite compelling evidence that it wasn’t possible. You were trying to get away from the fighting between your sibling and father.
Lately it seemed that the sounds in the house were the screaming match that went down every night when you tried to sleep. You would sneak out half an hour into the fight and you always walked yourself to Pop’s for a milkshake. It was getting around that your home life was terrible.
“I’ll have a strawberry milkshake this time.” You mumbled digging into your pocket for change.
“It’s on the house.” Mrs. Lodge smiled seeing the pain and fatigue clinging on your features.
Normally you would argue that but as of lately you didn’t have the energy to do anything so you nodded before sitting down in a booth. It was late so you were one of the very few people sitting in the diner. You barely noticed the person that sat down in the booth until they spoke.
You looked up to see your boyfriend looking at you concerned, taking in the inky colours underneath your eyes. It wasn’t hard to see that sleep had evaded you for the last little while. It was concerning for Jughead.
“Hey.” You smiled placing your hands back into your lap while Jughead ran his eyes across your features, “Something wrong Jug?”
“Why are you here so late?”
“The truth.” Jughead firmly said.
“I haven’t been sleeping.” You admitted, “I can’t fall asleep in a house where screaming takes place every night. There’s no peace at all.”
Jughead’s heart broke when the tears gathered as your voice broke in synch with his heart. You were normally one of the strongest girls he had ever known. When you learnt about his home situation you had fought him to tell the Andrews, despite Fred being a main reason why Jughead didn’t have a home anymore.
“Oh.” Jughead breathed sliding into your side of the booth instead. He wrapped his long arms around your shaking frame, leaning his chin on the top of your head, “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, “Why are you out so late Jug?”
“Couldn’t write in the house. I’m so used to writing with you by my side or in here. I have words racing in my head but I couldn’t write with Archie playing his songs. He’s an amazing singer but those songs aren’t putting me in the writing mood.”
You chuckled as Jughead pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You were still wired so Jughead gripped your hand and tugged you out of the diner. The milkshake forgotten and if Hermione Lodge was being truthful, she hadn’t started making it when Jughead showed up.
You knew that he could see that you wouldn’t be able to sleep for awhile so he did something he knew you would like. The Twilight Drive-In was still in the process of being demolished but the shack that Jughead had slept in still stood.
“Aren’t we trespassing?” You mumbled walking in while Jughead made sure the coast was clear.
“Probably.” He shrugged, “I know you though.”
You chuckled as the two of you dropped to the bed in silence. Jughead was different when it was just the two of you and not around your peers. You each had an uncanny distaste for public displays of affection to the disappointment of Kevin.
“Do you remember when I invited you here for our first date?” Jughead asked putting his arm around your shoulders.
“Of course I do!” You laughed.
“Movies, and when the second movie started I couldn’t help myself from kissing you.” Jughead whispered leaning his forehead against yours. The atmosphere got charged when he pressed his lips against yours.
“I remember you pulled back and I crashed mine against yours.” You breathed.
“I don’t…” Jughead trailed off before, “Can you refresh my memory?”
Without another word you pushed your body onto his lap and pushed his hat off his head. Your lips moved against each other passionately as you gasped when Jug’s hand came to rest of your thigh.
Jughead pulled away to trail his lips down your neck to suck on your collarbone. You released a breathy moan as you clenched his hair in your hands, arching into his chest. You took pride in knowing you had turned him on.
“Y/N…” Jughead breathed as you rubbed yourself on his hard on. He moaned as his head rested on your chest before gripping your hips in a bruising hold.
He pressed his hands on your hips down as he slowly dragged you up and down his lap. You hissed when your clit dragged across the zipper of his black jeans. He let go to push his jacket and sweater off his arms before returning his hands back to your hips.
You grinded against him harder both of you hissing and panting as you leaned down. You ran your lips slowly up his jaw, teasingly leaving small bites. You bit him at the same time he groaned lowly.
“I also remember what happened a few dates after that” you said as a smirk crossed your face as you began to speed up.
“You talking about the one that Archie walked in on?” Jughead smirked dragging his hands up under your shirt and pulling it off and onto the floor within seconds.
“More like the one after that.” You breathed slowly dragging his shirt up his body, “The one where we-“
You gasped when you turned flipped onto your back with Jughead hovering above you with one hand trailing fire down your chest to the button of your jeans. He slowly kissed the underside of your jaw while his fingers carefully and awkwardly undid the button and pulled back to remove your jeans.
“I’ll never get out of this.” Jughead whispered, his eyes igniting the fire in you to higher temperatures.
“Jug…please.” You whispered pulled him back down onto your body. The start had been intense but it slowed down, possibly because of the awkwardness, to wear you caressed each others skin.
You made quick work of Jughead’s black jeans by shoving them off by your feet along with his boxers. You moaned taking in his size despite it not being the first time you had seen each other naked.
“You’re wearing too many clothes. I’d prefer the soft, supple skin.”
With shaking fingers Jughead couldn’t entirely release your bra clasps with fluid movements but that was okay. With an apology breathed into the crook of your neck you switched positions with Jughead, now you straddled his thighs as you swiftly removed your underwear. Jughead had taken the time to stroke himself.
You took your tall and lean boyfriend splayed out on the cot with his green eyes darkened with desire and his tongue running over his swollen lips. Your heated gaze raked over his form from his ruffled raven hair going everywhere both from his hat and your fingers.
You didn’t even notice that his free hand had moved to the apex of your thighs. It never failed to amaze you how his touch could make you nearly collapse. You felt more than saw him move to lean against the wall and drag you up. In unison Jughead and you hissed as you sank down on him.
Jughead had this thing where he wouldn’t let either of you move as he let the feeling overpower him. A beat later he had you bouncing using his power as you felt boneless before you met him thrust for thrust. Swivelling your hips as you sank down you had Jughead gasping.
“Oh god.” You breathed squeezing your eyes closed as Jughead’s thumb pressed into your clit, “Holy sh-“
“I’m c-lose.” Jughead exclaimed tugging you down with his other hand. You ground your hips gripping his hair tightly. With a harsh brush against your clit you fell into your climax
Jughead got off on the way you came. You’re skin would colour into the most beautiful pink he had ever seen. Your toes and fingers would curl together while your nose crinkled at the strongest crest. Your hair would be a halo around your head and his favourite part was when his name fell from your lips like a raindrop from a flower petal.
Breathing was difficult as you both came down from your highs shaking from the intense love-making. Jughead dragged you down to lay down but the chill in the room caused goosebumps to raise on your body.
“We should probably go home.” Jughead breathed, “Getting caught by the cops in here wouldn’t be fun.”
“Yeah.” You yawned, “Do you want to stay over at my place?”
“What about your-“
“You know my parents love you. They’re fine with you staying if the door isn’t closed all the way.” You whispered.
In a comfortable silence you dressed quickly, only this time Jughead’s sweater was wrapped around you. In typical fashion it was much too big on you but in your rush to get out of your house you had grabbed the thinnest sweater you had by accident. Jug’s hat was back on his head and his arm was around your shoulder.
Jughead had a lot of shades to himself where he was a novelist, student, best friend and boyfriend. He was sarcastic and intelligent with a certain way of words. He was cool and collected with a witty remark to anything but he was different behind closed doors. Sex with Jughead wasn’t the smooth sailing in tv shows and movies but instead it was true with awkwardness that dissipated when you got more and more well versed with each others bodies.
“I love you.” Jughead whispered into your hair when you were asleep in his arms in the safety of your room. He didn’t say it often but he showed it a lot. Jughead loved you even if he didn’t say the words and you returned the same feelings.
- you and stiles are neighbors, but he didn’t really notice you much.
- that is until you hit a puberty stage in the seventh grade, and suddenly he was tripping over his feet crossing the street to your house. you were shocked when he asked if you wanted to ride bikes with him.
- but you said yes anyways cuz how could you turn down the adorable little spazz.
- you and Stiles became best friends easily in the one day, and overtime you him and Scott were a tight little group.
- scott asked you to your first dance in eighth grade, yes, scott. You’d looked between him and Stiles, and when the buzz cut boy said nothing, you said yes to scott
- no, Scott did not have a crush on you, nor you him, but you had a great time that night. though when a slow song came on, Scott made an excuse for punch and asked if you’d rather dance with stiles
- Stiles barely knew how to dance to slow songs, but you taught him. holding your arms around his neck, and his at your waist comfortably. and at one point you’d laid your head on his chest and made him promise you’d be best friends forever. he did without hesitation.
- in freshman year, it was painfully obvious that he was head over heels for Lydia Martin
- (or so you thought. that’s just what stiles wanted you to think)
- but your friendship continued nonetheless, and your growing feelings for the boy continued as well.
- the both of you always made witty remarks. as well as being on the same level of sarcasm. so the banter was great
- except to Scott, who was constantly worn out by it
- seriously. he always took out his inhaler whenever you two got into it
- you’d really pushed yourself to look for nice for homecoming that year. You’d forced Scott to take you to the mall and critique each and every dress you tried on
- he told you nervously that you looked hot in the one you’d ended up picking, and you gave him finger guns
- STILES ASKED YOU TO DANCE
- you went with Scott and Stiles to the woods that fateful night, in hopes of seeing a severed body
- you and Stiles figured out together that Scott was a werewolf
- when he went to confront Scott about it, he made you stay at his house. It turned into a nasty argument, which ended with him yelling that he wasn’t letting you get hurt in the process
- you made up easily. It was you and Stiles. Of course you did
- but you were with Scott and Stiles when Scott was chained up to the radiator, so that he wouldn’t go crazy on the full moon.
- you sat with Stiles in the hallway, both of you trying not to cry to the sound of Scott’s audible agony. You saw your freckled friend close his eyes tight, and leaned your head onto his shoulder. The action provided more comfort than you’d ever know
- the winter formal was a colossal disaster. Scott snuck in, Stiles was with Lydia the whole night, Jackson was a jerk, you were left alone the entire night, and Lydia got attacked by Peter.
- you did comfort Stiles a little bit later that night in the hospital
- and you beat the shit out of Peter Hale with a baseball bat. Which resulted in you getting scratched deep on your arm. Scott Stiles and Allison took you to the hospital the second that Peter’s throat was slashed. Scott taking Stiles’ keys and starting the Jeep, Allison rushing into the passenger’s seat. Stiles was holding your nearly unconscious body in the backseat, letting you lay across his lap. You didn’t really comprehend how hard he was crying
- you didn’t know that he slept in the waiting room for two nights in a row while you were under strict ‘family only’ visiting hours
- but he ran into the room the second Melissa allowed it. You cried upon seeing him, weakly holding your arms out for him to hug you. Your pain washing away as soon as he held you in his arms.
- you had to stay in one more night, and Stiles stayed again much to your protests, and he pulled up a folding chair in the room. Sitting next to your bed and laying his head on the sheets. He accidentally fell asleep before you did, so you spent half an hour just running your fingers over his buzz cut and thinking about the life you had.
- but don’t worry, the cut wasn’t deep enough to turn you into anything
- you and Stiles became messengers for Scott and Allison. A tiring, yet sometimes fun job
- Stiles telling you all of his suspicions about Allison’s grandfather, Gerard
- as well as complaining about how cocky Jackson had become
- standing up for Stiles (and Scott when Jackson dared threaten a werewolf) whenever the little shit poked fun at him.
- he stood up for you too, because Jackson… well he was just a dick
- you became closer with Allison and Lydia, but your friendship with Stiles never faltered
- when Stiles found out that Matt was stalking both you and Allison, he flipped shit, and you were crying because you didn’t want him to know. (because you knew he’d freak out
- Stiles didn’t tell you he punched Matt the next day
- you and Stiles laughed for a long time about how ironic it was that Jackson was the kanima. I mean, come on, a lizard? Of course it was him. Jackson’s a fucking snake.
- it got unfunny real fast at Lydia’s birthday party
- you had refused to drink, knowing someone had to have spiked it. So you saw Stiles lose his mind in the middle of the party, and dragged him outside. He kept mumbling on about disappointing his father, which made you cry.
- you and Stiles accidentally passed out spooning on Lydia’s couch that night
- the night at the train station still freaks you out. First Matt tried to get you to join him, and when you’d told him to fuck off, he had Jackson the kanima paralyze you. Your limp body was tied to a chair for the entire night, and you had to watch him pull a gun on Stiles, and shoot Scott.
- you later caught Gerard drowning him when you’d been heading home. You’d grabbed Stiles’ hand so fast, unsure of what to do. Yes, the boy needed to be punished, you surely didn’t want him to have a happily every after… but he was so afraid and in so much pain.
- you Stiles and Scott picked a lot of classes together over the summer
- Stiles began to grow his hair out, which you supported more the longer it got
- also had a summer road trip to San Diego for a weekend. Big back to school shopping spree
- you were nervous going back to school after the shitty way last year ended, but Stiles constantly assured you that it would all be okay
- you complained to him constantly about the awkwardness of being friends with both Scott and Allison, and how you barely mentioned one around the other.
- “but I’m your best friend, right?” to which you’d eagerly nodded to
- groaning the second Scott told you about the alpha pack.
- “can’t i catch a break!?”
- you and Stiles catching a quick two second flicker in Scott’s eyes, shifting from brown to yellow, to red, then back to yellow. You exchanged a glance that said you’d talk about it after fighting the alpha pack.
- you getting closer with Isaac, and sitting with him on the bus ride to the motel (you didn’t know Stiles was pestering Scott as to why you’d choose to sit next to a boy who wore scarves that looked like scarves that you would buy. But Scott was in too much pain to care about his friend’s love life problems)
- you had known all along Lydia and Allison were trailing the bus, because Lydia was snap chatting you about how Allison was so still in love with Scott. While you were snap chatting her about your Stiles problems
- when you stopped at a rest stop so Allison could stitch up Scott, you were freaking out outside the bathroom, but Lydia and Isaac had no idea how to comfort you
- Stiles had rushed over and held you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest and cooing softly to you.
- “you’re okay, and you know Scott will be okay, don’t worry too much then others will wonder what’s going on in there”
- after that, Isaac sat with Scott the rest of the bus ride to the motel, and you sat with Stiles
- most of the night, Stiles made you stay in his and Scott’s motel room because weird things were happening. He’d told you to stay in there after Ethan tried to cut open his stomach with a saw
- “Stiles you know I can handle myself fine-”
- “I know you can, I do, but this is different, they have no idea what’s going on either so I need you to just stay in here, and stay safe”
- you’d listened, and ended up falling asleep on the bed waiting for someone to return
- you woke up when the door opened, a soaking Scott and exhausted Stiles dragging in. Stiles asked if you were staying with them instead of the girls tonight, and you’d nodded limply.
- after Scott got in the shower, Stiles collapsed onto the mattress next to you, mumbling ‘we’re sharing a bed by the way’ and you’d only nodded
- you restrained from screaming when he told you what had happened that resulted in Scott being drenched in gasoline. The thought of Stiles… him being gone… it killed you. But you didn’t say anything, just snuggled up against him and fell asleep in his arms. It meant more than words could’ve said
- you sat with him on the bus the next morning too. He didn’t wake you up when you left, just carried your sleeping body out to the bus and gave you his flannel to use as a blanket
- you woke up next to him relatively happy upon finding the clothing on you and your head on his shoulder, his head atop yours as he played on his phone
- you were taken with Melissa Chris and Noah, because you’d figured out that Jennifer was the darach, and what her next move was. You were on your way to warn Stiles when she’d caught you
- you were trapped in the nemeton, but you still just had this feeling in you that Scott became an alpha. You’d later learn that it was because in a way, without being a werewolf, you were his beta
- when Stiles got you and his father back, the group hug between you three was so tight you cried harder
- he called you the second he started getting night terrors
- and soon Noah began to just come pick you up and bring to the house in the middle of the night because you were the only one who could get him to stop screaming
“shh Stiles, it’s not real I promise” you laid down next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. When Stiles shakily nodded, laying down with you, Noah left the room.
“It’s not real” He’d repeat over and over.
- you always stayed on your respective sides of the bed
- you helped Allison get her stability back in the woods, and helped Stiles get his ability to read back
- it took you stepping on a bear trap for it to happen, but hey! he did it!
- Stiles told you first about his dementia
- you were as calm as possible, hugging him and telling him it’d be okay, not shedding a tear
- you went straight to Scott’s and screamed and cried and beat up his chest with your fists in anger, eventually falling to the ground in defeat and exhaustion
- you felt as numb as Stiles looked
- you went with him and Scott to the hospital for the MRI, the three of you group hugging when it was all over
- Trying not to cry. A lot those days. Mostly not in front of Stiles, so you ended up crashing on the McCall living room couch and taking over Allison’s bed.
“Maybe you should go talk to Stiles, I think you guys need some closure with each other”
“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling him I love him and there’s enough shit already”
“Stiles, you can’t just sit next to her anymore. You gotta tell her it’s all going to be okay. You’re little game of ‘we don’t need words’ can’t last forever”
“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling her I love her and there’s enough shit already”
- You eventually broke. Like a twig actually. You’d been sitting on his bed, messing around on your phone when he told you that he was going to admit himself to Eichen.
“Are you insane? Did you actually lose your mind?!”
“y/n… maybe they can help…”
“Why can’t we help?!”
“Professional help y/n”
- You cried a lot, too much, you got tears and makeup all over his favorite flannel. But he didn’t care, he was just glad you finally showed some emotion
- You went with him Scott and Noah to the hospital. You stood silently with them as he checked in, holding his hand so tight you wondered if he was in any pain. But he didn’t show any
- You didn’t let go until he hugged Scott and his father goodbye. Noah excused himself to go ‘start the car’ and Scott ‘offered to help’
(they shipped you two hard)
- Stiles giving you the biggest bear hug and lifting you off the ground.
“Just promise not to die in here, this place reeks of depression and I’m not even a werewolf”
“I promise. I’m coming back okay?”
- holding his face between your hands and wiping away the tears (he was trying not to let show) with your thumbs
“I’m holding you to that promise”
- two days later not being able to take it anymore. Lydia had offered a million times to conceal the bags under your eyes, and Allison offered a million times to take you shopping. Kira even invited you over for a sleepover.
- Scott being the only one who wasn’t pushing you to do anything.
- in fact he was the one who drove you to Eichen to give Stiles his pillow
“I’m sorry ma’am, he can’t have visitors yet-”
- Scott being surprised when you pushed past the nurse and waltzed towards Stiles’ room because you were usually so calm and collected in public, and never disrespectful towards your elders
- Swiping a key card off of a passing orderly, and pretty much sneaking into Stiles’ little chamber that was hardly an actual warm
- Your heart broke when you looked at him. His eyes were dark, there were pink bags under them, and his skin was much paler than usual
“y/n? Scott? How’d you guys even get in?”
- being tugged into a hug that made you feel like home wasn’t a place anymore
- he smiled when you showed him that you’d brought his pillow
“Stiles… what did they do to you?”
- your reunion was short lasted, and you were being dragged out by a male nurse named Brunski
“I’m gonna get out soon!”
- hearing him yell those same words over and over as Brunski kicked you and Scott out of the building
- wearing Stiles’ lacrosse hoodie for the next few days, waiting for him to come back
- When Noah picked him up, he brought him straight to your house, again, shattering your heart at his clearly unstable persona
- He told you first that he’d known Void had taken over
- You both sat on your bed for a long time, criss cross in the middle of the mattress just talking over everything that happened
- He was crying by the time he got to the part about Void making him have sex with Malia (which he never really knew if it was Void..or him…) and kill his room mate Oliver
“I’m a killer I’m a killer y/n I belong there I’m a psycho”
“No.. no Stiles that’s not you, that’s the demon it’s not you”
- He broke down a few times that day, and you had him lay his head in your lap so you could softly run your hands through his hair. He fell asleep mumbling something about voices
- You called the pack quickly and had them come over
- BIG pack meeting (while Stiles was asleep in your room) about what you were going to do
“y/n what if he takes over and you- or or- or anyone- what if someone gets hurt?”
“You’re not going to hurt me Stiles”
- having that conversation a lot
- in school just grabbing onto his hand when he’d get quiet, in the halls at lunch, in class
- whenever you were separated, texting him constantly
you: how do you feel? Stiles: idk lonely you: you’re in bio right? stiles: yeah you: I’m on my way over tell the teach you’re goin to the bathroom
- this happened many many times in a single day
- seriously his teacher began to ask if he had some bladder infection
- the day Stiles Void was in Derek’s loft was a hard day for you. Watching Chris pull a gun on the boy made you scream, but before you could go up to the Man, Derek had pinned your arms behind your back
- it hurt more seeing Void smirk upon the action
“oh your little spazz is so pissed right now. he’s quite angry with you Derek” The demon chuckled louder when everyone exchanged confused glances. “Well, you’re hurting y/n”
- you officially became afraid of Void when Allison had attempted to taser him, and it had no effect on him.
- you hid behind Scott while he was tied to the chair
“he’s so upset y/n, he’s upset that he’s the one scaring you”
- you moved further behind Scott, gripping onto the Alpha’s arm and burying your face into his back
“oh this is new… jealousy. he’s not a happy camper”
- you silently thanked Melissa when she put a thick duct tape over his mouth
- watching him pull foot after foot of rope from his throat horrified you in a way that will haunt your nightmares for many years to come
“it’s me guys, I swear it’s me”
- beating Scott to it, and both you and Stiles crashing onto the ground in a hug. You cried into his neck, your body crushing his chest. His arms wound around you and he cried too
- you stuck next to him in the McCall living room while everyone else came up with the plan to get Lydia back from Void
“you’re okay now?”
- he’d responded by putting his head on your shoulder, and taking your hand in his
“I’m here to save my best friend”
“And I’m here to save mine”
- Scott had looked at you, prompting you to say what everyone (minus Stiles) knew you were here for (to save the boy you loved) but you’d only nodded, too afraid in the moment to say anything
- you’d screamed, nearly louder than Lydia upon seeing an Oni pierce a blade through your Argent friend
- Stiles had grabbed onto you so fast, holding your face against his chest as you were still screaming, body convulsing against his.
- he ended up having to pick you up off the ground, while Scott was with Allison. He carried you to the jeep, and you sat in silence with him in the backseat
- Chris took you both with him, Scott, Isaac, and Lydia to the police station to *cough* explain the death of Allison Argent
- Noah let you stay silent, seeing how much deeper it was effecting you
- the man took you with him and Stiles home for the night
- you barely slept, you just laid in bed across from Stiles, who was holding both your hands between his
“It’s my fault, I did it to her-”
“Stop, you didn’t, you know you didn’t”
- you were already out of tears, the entire void experience had drained you, so you were mostly in silence. But here and there Stiles would say something to you
“Do you hate me?”
“Of course not”
- he asked this a few more times that night, until eventually you leaned up, and kissed his cheek, then buried your face into his shirt, whispering a soft ‘no’ before finally falling asleep
- you were pissed when he held the sword to his chest, the stupid boy thinking that it would help everybody
“Stiles don’t, Stiles don’t please, please don’t, drop it Stiles please”
- when he’d dropped it, you’d wrapped both arms around his waist, and didn’t release the entire night
- you freaked when he passed out after void turned to dust
- but when he woke up, you were more relieved than you’d ever been before
- the both of you went together to get clothes for Allison’s funeral
“Is this one okay?” you would ask softly
“I think it’s beautiful”
“Stiles you said that about the last four”
- your hand was wrapped in his throughout the entire ceremony
- and after, you him Scott Lydia and Kira went to the McCall house, just wanting to grieve together
- it took you a few weeks to find actual peace, but Stiles was there with you through all of it
- but the day Stiles came to your doorstep an eager and boyish grin on his face as he told you Malia Tate (a girl who’d quickly become your friend) was his girlfriend, you’d lied to him for the first time
“good for you Stiles, I’m glad you found someone who made you happy”
while on the inside it was more like…
“that’s great Stiles, not like I had my fucking heart on my fucking sleeve for you. glad that you found someone who’s better than me”
- but he was smiling so happily, you couldn’t tell him the truth
- Scott chewed you out for lying, Kira chewed you out for not telling Stiles you loved him, and Lydia chewed you out for not jumping Stiles’ bones when you’d had the chance
- and every time there was some sort of opportunity for you to say something to Stiles, Scott would give you a look, or Lydia would kick you under the table, or Kira would cough. Sometimes all three
- but you were somewhat friends with Malia. and you were friends with Stiles. So you let them have their relationship, and you slowly grew away from Stiles
- you became closer with Liam, a new beta, and his friend Mason
- you loved Mason
“Scott, Scott who’s that kid she’s talking to? Since when did she go for freshmen?”
“Stiles, he’s gay, and you have a girlfriend”
- you didn’t know this, but every time Scott reminded Stiles of his girlfriend, he did it bitterly.
“Is uh… is Stiles and Malia going okay?”
“I dunno why don’t you ask”
- Scott became a very bitter person when either of you brought up the other. But Lydia would back him up with something snarky
- when in Mexico, watching Stiles let Malia dance dirty with him, went right on the list of things that would haunt your dreams. Which sucked, seeing that being stalked, attacked, and your best friend being murdered was on the same list
- you ended up getting yourself strapped to an electric chair, and Scott took most of the blows, but you got one for mouthing off to the Calevera’s henchman
- Stiles had screamed your name when you were released, your spasming body falling to the ground. But Lydia had gotten to you first, and Stiles just stood and watched as she held you and asked if you were alright repeatedly
“I-I-I-I’ll b-b-be al-alright”
- when the spasming ended, she helped you up, and Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes off you
- he’d never been jealous of Lydia before, but her arm around your waist as she walked you back out to the jeep seemed threatening to him
- you sat in the backseat on the ride home (the day was interesting… a young Derek being in the backseat and weird bone men attacking Kira and Malia. Not to mention the Calevera’s torturing you) Scott and Kira were on his bike following the Jeep. Malia in yourthe passengers- seat. And you were wedged between the younger version of Derek Hale, and Lydia on your other side
- young Derek was hitting on you, and you just let it happen. What? you liked the way Stiles would glare at the teen through the rear view mirror
- you’d gone with Scott Malia and Peter to the school for the Hale loft, and ended up getting attacked by Berserkers
- Stiles came to pick you guys up, and yelled at you for going. you’d stayed silent, not wanting to break the friendship you were painfully keeping up.
- Scott took you home on the motor bike, and when he dropped you off he asked you how much it was hurting you before you went to the door
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I know when you lie, y/n”
“Then it seems to me you knew the answer when you asked the question”
- and when he heard your voice crack before you walked away, he did know the answer. more certain this time anyways
- you went to Lydia’s party, before it was a party anyways, and the blonde freshman lacrosse player, was hitting on you all. night. At one point he had himself leaning against you, both arms caging you against the wall.
“Alright, really, you’re nice, but you’re too young for me and I’m not interested-”
“Come on babe, age is just a numb-”
“She said she wasn’t interested”
- your has had widened impossibly further when Stiles had pried the boy off of you
“go screw your actual girlfriend Stilinski” was all the boy said
- but thankfully he had left after that
- you’d exchanged a glance with Stiles, and he’d asked quietly if you were alright. You nodded, thanked him, then excused yourself to find Lydia
- you told Lydia everything that happened in the last twenty minutes
- the entire pack spent the night at the lake house, even Liam did, spending most of the time talking with Scott about what being a werewolf meant
- the same blonde boy, Garret, tried to kill you a week later, to which you’d hit him over the head a few times with a bat before sprinting through the almost empty school, finding Scott, who told you the other girl, Violet had tried to kill him for being a werewolf
“I’m on the deadpool”
- the realization meant you weren’t as human as you thought. you’d said this at the pack meeting, and for some reason, your eyes were locked with Stiles’. before Malia pulled his attention back to her
- so you went from researching with Stiles, to researching with Lydia
- you found out that you were a witch. not the broomstick kind, but the kind with telekinesis. You figured that the bite triggered it in you, but never really proved that theory
- so you did some training with Liam, both of you learning about your powers together since he was still trying to get the hang of the werewolf thing
- but you still missed Stiles miserably, and Lydia was the one who seemed to notice the most
“y/n i love you, but you’re miserable. All the time”
- and she was right
- so one night, on a total whim at 10 pm, you drove yourself over the Stilinski house hold to talk to Stiles. Maybe tell him your true feelings, or just talk, because he had to notice the change in your relationship, right?
- but fate was against you that night. your car got a flat tire, which lead to Kate kidnapping you and dragging your sorry lover ass to Mexico
- Stiles lost his freaking mind
- when the pack (+ a shady ass Peter) came to get you, Scott was long turned into a berserker
- and when he broke free from the curse, Peter revealed his true intentions, and knocked you out with one blow
- you woke up to a lot of movement, and barely opened your eyes to see Stiles carrying you, yelling that you were going to be okay over and over again
- you just smiled a little bit, and leaned into him as he brought you to the jeep
- he let you sit in the passenger’s seat on the ride home
- Lydia hugged you tight, and screamed at you for having a death wish
- you her Malia and Kira had a sleepover, where you might have had some drinks and maybe proclaimed your love for Stiles
- but Malia was actually cool with it
- you forgot all about it the next day
- that summer, all of you went to San Diego together, and promised each other to make it a tradition
- senior year was gonna be bad, and it was all Stiles would talk about.
“I mean Theo? he seemed really shady don’t you think y/n? Don’t you think?”
“no, I think you mean to say he seemed dreamy”
- you didn’t know how much more shady that made Theo seem to Stiles
- you opened up with him more though. your friendship was still mending back together, but at least he no longer ignored you
- Theo made his advances on you, and when he asked oyu out, you’d happily said yes
- when you told Stiles, he made a face
“what? I thought it was sweet”
“well I think he has other plans. why else would he ask you out?”
- Stiles immediately realized his mistake
“wow Stiles. so what reason would a guy ask me out if he wasn’t trying to use me?”
- there were tears in your eyes as you stormed out of the house, ignoring Stiles as he yelled after you
- you went on your date with Theo, and he was a real gentleman
- you made big deals about kissing in front of Stiles
“he reeks of jealousy”
“that’s not jealousy Theo, that’s just anger. and that’s what we’re going for”
- after two weeks of this, you were trapped in your room on a school night, reading up on chimeras when there was a knock on your front door. you didn’t expect Stiles to be standing there
“we need to talk”
“if this is about Theo, then go home Stiles because-”
“I don’t care about Theo, I did something bad y/n”
- you’d quickly ushered him in, and upstairs to your room
- he began to cry, and you rubbed his back comfortingly, throwing all your past conflicts out the window, just wanting the boy whom your heart ached for to feel safe here
- you weren’t expecting him t tell you that he’d killed Donovan, but you sure weren’t mad at him like you thought he’d be
“you don’t hate me?”
“no” you answered softly
- you had a movie night together, and for a few hours, it seemed great, pocorn fights, for a whole Star Wars film you’d even slept on his shoulder
- you were woken up by Stiles getting up, and cleaning the area
“you can stay the night if you want, my parents aren’t home”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Malia’s probably already waiting for me at home, and I don’t think your boyfriend would like me staying over night with you”
- surprisingly, his voice wasn’t dripping with sarcasm, or bitterness, but with reget, and a sad undertone. you’d nodded, and followed him to the door as he put on his shoes and jacket
- you told him to get home safe, and he pulled you in for a hug that you hadn’t had in so long that just… replenished your well being
- Theo was a lying, bitchy, manipulative, jerk
- Lydia was admitted into Eichen
- Liam hated Scott
- Kira was with skin-walkers
- Stiles broke up with Malia
- and you were broken
“you were right you were right” you cried to Stiles on his doorstep in the pouring rain. “I should’ve listened you’re always right”
“Shh..shh come inside”
- he wrapped you up in blankets and towels until your body stopped shaking, and you broke down to him, just like you had both done before. You told him how you missed Lydia and Kira, how Malia wasn’t talking to you (to which he said ditto) and how Scott steered clear of everybody
- you fell asleep in his arms
- it was difficult, but the two of you had managed to cinch the pack back together, enough to kidnap Kira, and plan to save Lydia
- Theo’s pack seemed to have plans for her too, and you ended up getting held hostage by Theo in Eichen
- Scott and Stiles found you, his claws to your throat
- and you’d never seen Stiles so furious
- Scott ended up kicking ass, and you were thrown into Stiles’ arms
- YOU SAVED LYDIA!!!
- the pack barely did it but they escaped, and all went to Deaton’s where the emissary and Scott Kira and Malia stayed in the operation room to help Lydia
- you went to sit outside on the curb of the vet, needing frfesh air to clear your mind
- Stiles followed you and sat beside you
“I was really freaked out tonight… when..uh.. when Theo had you”
“Trust me, I was to” You managed a soft laugh, and glanced over at him. His eyes were stuck down on his shoes.
“I didn’t like the thought of… of you being gone… or something” Stiles added in a weak voice. Again, you smiled a little bit at him.
“I’m not going anywhere Stilinski, you’ve got nothing to worry about” You put your hands into the pockets of the hoodie (the red one you’d stolen from Stiles earlier that night)
“yeah but… but what if something did”
“Stiles” You turned to him. “I’m fine, really, I don’t have a single cut, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry so much-”
- Stiles Stilinski had cut you off, leaning forward, cupping your cheeks, and kissing you for the very first time. It was a long, warm, and very passionate kiss
“y/n, I do have to worry… I-I love you-”
- you cut him off, holding his own face in your hands, leaning forward, and kissing him for the very second time in a needy, emotions displayed kiss
“I love you too Stiles”
- you had a few happy tears in your eyes as you two kissed a few more times, only slightly aware of the pack watching you through the windows of the building
- you pretended not to notice Kira giving Scott thirty bucks
- Stiles drove everyone home, dropping you off last and trailing you to your doorstep
- he promised you that when all the Dread Doctor business was over, that he’d take you on a real date, to which you nodded, and kissed him quickly on the tips of your toes, before saying goodnight and heading inside for the night
- you high fived Stiles when Theo was dragged to the pits of hell, and that very night, went out on your first date
- it was a picnic at the overlook in the Beacon Hills Preserve, and it was beautiful.
- lots of kisses
- a really lot
- his hand was wrapped around yours as he drove you home, and as always, he stood with you at your door
“I’m not usually one for taking boys home after a first date, but my parents aren’t home and I don’t wanna wait anymore”
- the infamous Stilinski smirk as you were pressed against the door in a matter of seconds, and familiar warm lips sealed yours
- the sex was nothing less of hot
- neck kisses, you weren’t surprised Stiles loved hickeys
- he let you set the pace, and asked you for consent five too many times
- the look on his face was priceless when you snapped on the sixth time, and you’d told him to shut up and fuck your brains out
- (but hey, he did just that)
- and after you fell asleep together, him on his back and your front pressed into his side, your head on his bare chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in your ear
- lazy morning sex
- then shower sex
- then he made you breakfast, and you giggled half way through eating it
“oh nothing, I’m just surprised you haven’t thrown me onto the table yet”
“well I was waiting for you to finish eating”
- he wasn’t lying. *clears throat and sputters*
- you applied for a lot of colleges together. but here and there you’d come across one that seemed good for you, but would be far from Stiles. You applied, on the off chance you even had the ability to get in, but didn’t tell him about the ones in New York, or Tennessee.
- you told Lydia, because you couldn’t just keep it to yourself. There was a certain hype that came with college applications. Lydia hated keeping secrets nowadays, but promised not to tell. You never questioned her loyalty
- but one day you were telling her and Malia about a university in Maine called Colby. How great it seemed, but how you had other options that would keep you and the pack closer to Beacon Hills. You may have gotten a little vocal about the situation.
“You want to go to school in Maine?” you’d whirled around so fast upon the voice of your boyfriend. Lydia and Malia ran off as soon as you were looking away.
“But you applied there?” Stiles asked, his voice a prime example of broken.
“Yes- but I didn’t- it was more of a wonder really” You felt guilty immediately. “Stiles I didn’t want to.. I wasn’t- it was just-” You stopped trying to talk to take a deep breath.
“Do… do you still want the vision?” He asked, stepping closer. Your hands wrapped around his forearms.
“Of course I do Stiles, I want that with you” You said. “I mean it, I want that” He nodded, eyes flickering to the ground with uncertainty. “Stiles I love you, and the idea of going to college with you… maybe rent an apartment or something, really starting our.. our future? You held onto him tighter, and he looked at you. “That excites me and frightens me at the same time okay?” He nodded.
- dramatic kisses
- all the time.
- sometimes in lunch after a particularly difficult day in class, you’d wrap both arms around one of Stiles’, and lay your head on his shoulder in a half nap.
- but other days he’d have an arm around your waist, or your hands would be intertwined on one of your legs, or on the table.
- pushing him to take his class picture
“y/n, I already took it”
“Uhm, no you didn’t Stiles. There’s no photo here”
- Stiles argued with you for a bit bout, until you ended up dragging him to get his picture taken, again.
- Malia and you became really close friends, like connected at the hip kind of close. It surprised everyone, but it made you happy. Friends were important to keep close in this town
- Stiles called you later that night.
“Baby what’s wrong it’s one am?” You’d mumbled upone answering.
“I-I saw- I saw them” His shaky voice replied.
“Saw who Stiles?” You asked, sitting up in bed now.
“The ghost riders”
- you went to his house to spend the night, and talked for a long time about what it all meant. You fell asleep crying in his arms, and him cooing and hushing you while running his fingers through your hair.
- the next day at school you’d clung to him like crazy
- he was taken that night, you’d been sitting in the jeep with him, holding onto him so tightly you were sure it would be impossible for anyone to get him. He’d repeatedly told you he loved you, anything he could.
“y/n please try-”
“I couldn’t ever forget you Stiles” You said, crying hard as tears blurred your vision. “I love you, I love you so much you’ll never know. I want everything with you, I still do, I want us to go to college together, Stiles I wasnt to spend the rest of my life with you” You sobbed, and he held you tight, and leaving bruising kiss on your lips.
“I want that too y/n, I want that too” Your arms wound around his neck, holding him closer as his head was buried into your neck.
- you still cried in the jeep even after he was pried away from you, and dragged out through the door.
hehehehe this is sooo long I’ve had this in my drafts for months.
anywho here’s somethin a lil extra to just top off my excitement for being back on tumblr again
“You need to stop pining after people you haven’t even spoken to,” Lydia says one day, probably because Derek—er, Mr. Hale, their boss—has just stepped through the front door of the cafe where they’re having lunch, and Stiles has trailed off mid-word to watch him walk up to the counter. In Stiles’ defense, he’s never seen Mr. Hale outside of the office before, let alone Mr. Hale wearing a leather jacket over his dress shirt. God, and Stiles thought the tailored suits were bad enough…
“Uh, I have too spoken to him,” Stiles says indignantly, tearing his eyes away from Derek’s broad back across the room. “One day I was coming out of the break room and I almost walked right into him and he said, ‘Excuse me,’ so then I said, ‘Oops,’ and he smiled at me. Kind of. A little bit. I mean, I interpreted it as a smile. There was some prolonged eye contact.”
Lydia abruptly stops stirring her fat-free latte to stare at him—one of those Oh god, it’s worse than I thought kind of looks. “That’s it?”
A/N: Bucky is tired and needy and just wants to cuddle. (who. fuckin’. wouldn’t?!)
If there was ever something more adorable than Bucky being tired or in any way not feeling well, you’d never seen it. Now, the serum made sure he was never not feeling well, but it didn’t help exhaustion after a week long mission with only 2 hours of sleep a day.
This is why he came stumbling into your floor, somehow overriding every security protocol with his left over spy-skills, calling out your name at two in the morning.
It was nearly blinding when the purplish-grey dust flew around you and Dean. Before it could all clear out, and the two of you could actually see, Sam had nailed the witch. One bullet, directly through the back of her head, and you were fine. She collapsed into a heap on the ground, and that was that.
Sam’s nose scrunched up as he approached the two of you. “What the hell did she douse you guys with?”
“Some of her freak weirdo witch juice,” Dean grumbled, practically gagging at the stench that was coming from the dust. “I need to shower, like now.”
“Good thing we’re not far from the motel,” you chimed in. “So what do we do with Bellatrix over there?”
Dean scoffed, “really? Out of all the iconic witches, you pick the one from Harry Potter?”
(Jimin is jealous when his best friend and roommate, Taehyung, has a date with the girl Jimin has a crush on.)
Warning: 8000 words and 75% of this is pure smut. MMF sex. Dirty talking. Disrespectful name calling. The usual.
“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung! FUCK! YOU!” Jimin was livid. “I’ve never said a single thing to you about
all the shit I have to put up with as your roommate! All the times I’ve had to crash at a friend’s
place because you brought some girl back to our dorm room for the night! I can’t remember the last time I spent a
whole week able to sleep in my own bed because of you! And all those times I woke up to find some
chick I don’t know in your bed? Like you
couldn’t just go somewhere else to fuck them?
Did you really have to screw them in our room while I was asleep?” Taehyung opened his mouth to answer, but
Jimin cut him off. “And I wasn’t even
asleep for all of them! What was that
one girls name? The one with the short
hair? Jungin? Jungah? Just because you
took her into our bathroom to have her suck your dick doesn’t mean I didn’t
hear EVERY FUCKING THING that happened in there! You are so fucking vile! The things you said to that girl… the sound
of her choking on your dick while you called her a slut? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Some girls like that shit,” Taehyung replied calmly. “She definitely liked it, that’s for sure.”
Jimin rolled his eyes dismissively. “The point is that I’ve never said anything
to you about how you’ve stuck your dick in half the women on campus. Despite the fact that you are always
inconveniencing me in order to get your rocks off, I’ve kept my mouth
shut. It’s your life and it’s not really
any of my business. But this is TOO
FUCKING MUCH! I thought we were friends? I never thought you would totally screw me
over like this!”
“We are friends! I
didn’t do this to screw you over.”
Taehyung and Jimin had been randomly assigned to be roommates in their
small single room dorm room their freshman year and immediately became the best
of friends. Taehyung was on a
scholarship that paid for his student housing on campus and Jimin couldn’t
imagine living with anyone other than Taehyung, so despite the cramped quarters
and the arguments frequently caused by the lack of privacy, they continued
living together in the dormitory.
I like your hc about Yuuri only wearing shirts and Victor only wearing pants to bed bc 1)they could match every single time (or clash terribly) and 2) together they make a pajama set and i find that weirdly endearing (also, would you be up to sharing more thoughts about sleep talking Victor? Please?)
The full headcanon for the only pants/only shirts thing is basically “Viktor and Yuuri go to the store and jointly decide which pajamas they are going to buy” which means that between the two of them they own only five pajama sets and also they’re all in Viktor’s size because he’s the larger one. This also means that Yuuri sometimes walks into the bedroom wearing a red-black plaid pajama top and Viktor looks down at his own canary-cream (It’s not yellow and white, Yuuri) polkadot bottoms and just says, “No, this can’t happen.”
“But we’re just going to sleep–”
“What if there’s a fire, Yuuri? What will our neighbors think of us, if they see that we can’t even coordinate our sleep clothes? They’ll think we’re dysfunctional. On the brink of divorce.”
“Oh?” Yuuri’s eye twitches. “Is that what they’ll think?”
“Or worse–that I have no fashion sense.”
Yuuri doesn’t know how to tell Viktor that their neighbors have seen Viktor wearing Lululemon yoga pants with a sweatshirt saying DADDY’S COLD and that any misconceptions they may have had about Viktor’s sense of fashion long ago imploded.
Eventually, Yuuri returns to the closet. He can’t find the canary-cream polkadot shirt. Instead, he tosses on an old practice shirt of Viktor’s so worn and old that it’s almost see-through. The fabric has stretched unevenly along the hem and almost hits his knees in places. He returns to the bedroom and crawls under the blankets. Viktor melts on the spot. By the time Yuuri falls asleep that night, he isn’t wearing anything.
On the subject of Viktor sleep talking, it goes like this:
Yuuri walks in the door on a very cold day in mid-January and Viktor has been sick so he’s been sleeping rather fitfully, tossing and turning and having weird dreams. Today his fever broke, and he’s in what seems to be a deep sleep for the first time in days. Yuuri is very quiet as he makes his way into the kitchen and puts the groceries away.
“Yuuri?” comes from the couch, pitifully, and Yuuri feels shame like he has never felt for the sin of waking his poor sick Vitya.
“Oh Vitya, I’m so sorry,” Yuuri coos, creeping closer to the couch. He’s forgotten about the box of kasha he’s clutching. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, love. Go back to sleep. I’m gonna make dinner.”
“I want soup,” Viktor mumbles. His face is still buried in the back of the couch.
“Okay, baby, I’ll make you some soup.” Yuuri abruptly realizes that he’s holding the box of kasha out in front of him like some sort of offering; he sets it down on the coffee table and kneels beside his languishing husband. “Yakov and Yura send their love.” When Yuuri told them that Viktor had taken sick over the weekend, Yakov grunted and let a look of concern cross over his features for exactly six seconds before clearing it and grunting, “Mustard plasters.”
“Mustard. Mix it with flour and water, put it on his back–it clears the system.” Yakov waved vaguely in the direction of his own chest. “Is he coughing? Yes, mustard plasters.”
Yura just rolled his eyes. Yuuri knows enough about him to understand that this is Yura’s reaction to any and all emotions. When Yuuri gathered his things at the end of the day, he found in his bag a recipe for chicken soup featuring intense amounts of garlic, and also a list of five stores in the area where red caviar is available at a reasonable price.
Russian remedies are just as odd as American ones.
“Yakov,” Viktor mumbles presently, and seems to nod. “He’s good?”
“Yeah,” Yuuri coos, tracing his fingers softly up and down Viktor’s back. “He told me to put mustard on your back. I think he was trying to help.”
“No,” Viktor mutters, burrowing his face closer to the couch. “No mustard.”
“Why don’t we try it, baby? You sound so miserable. It could help, he said it clears your lungs.”
“No mustard in the soup,” Viktor grumbles.
Yuuri’s hand stops on his back. “What?”
“Don’t let Yakov put mustard in the soup,” Viktor insists. He rolls over then, and Yuuri sees that his eyes are closed. The flush high on his cheeks says his fever may have returned. “Don’t let him, Yuuri.” He sounds distressed.
“Okay, shh, I won’t. It’s fine.” Yuuri leans down his kisses his head. “You’re fine, Vityusha.”
When he pulls back, Viktor’s eyes are open. Cloudy with sickness, but aware. he roughly murmurs, “Kitten? When did you get home?”
“A few minutes ago.” Yuuri brushes back Viktor’s hair.
“I was having the strangest dream,” Viktor mumbles, blinking hard and clearing sleep from his eyes, “About Yakov…and he was in our kitchen…”
It takes a lot of effort for Yuuri not to laugh.
This isn’t the last time Yuuri hears Viktor talk in his sleep. Viktor’s subconsciousness has some interesting opinions on figure skating politics, and also Yuuri once convinces a sleeping Viktor to tell him where he plans to take them on their third wedding anniversary because He Doesn’t Like Surprises and he needs to know if he should pack a jacket, for God’s sake Vitya.
Sleep-Viktor also likes to lovingly coo into Yuuri’s ear in the middle of the night, “I love you, marry me.”
“We are married,” Yuuri tells him, patting his hip.
“Yes, for about five years now. Remember? I wore white. You wore a blue rose in your lapel. Yakov was there.”
“Oh, yeah,” Viktor mumbles. “That was fun. We should do it again.”
happy birthday @mangothatismelancholy !! i know im a few hours early but i won’t have much time to post it tomorrow morning ahaha. i hope you like this and i hope i remembered correctly that daddy kink was your favorite (?). also i hope you have a great birthday dude!!!
A/N: So this fic is inspired by the song “Adored by Him” by
Dodie Clark. Yeah that’s really it…
Warnings: Swearing but that’s normal.
Word Count: 2, 428
never expected any of this to happen. When I became friends with Dan, I did
think he was handsome and funny. But I didn’t think I would fall for him as
fast as I did. I always pushed away the feelings until they asked if I wanted
to move in with them. Being around him 24/7 made it harder to conceal it so I
just let it happen. No one knew about my feelings, except Phil, who figured out a
year ago. I always expected the feelings to just go away but they didn’t.
But then she
happened. Allison was Dan’s most recent girlfriend. They’ve been dating for
many months now, and he was absolutely smitten (cheeky Dodie reference again)
with her. He never spoke about how he felt about her, but I was able to tell.
The way he looked at her with adoring eyes, and smile at the mere mention of
her name. I don’t blame him though. She was beautiful, with her butterscotch
hair and her smile that could shine brighter than the sun, I bet anybody would
fall her easily. She was literally perfect, and I was just…well me. It was easy
to figure out how she made Dan’s soul practically glow, and it hurt. A lot.
hate you but oh it stings,
it feel to be adored by him?
It was hard
to hate Allison. She was super nice, and had the same sense of humor as Dan.
Plus, she makes him happy. That’s what matters, right?
sitting on the couch, watching my favorite movie with Phil. It was raining
outside so we decided to dedicate the day to watching a bunch of movies. Phil
and I were cuddled up under a blanket, eating popcorn. It was relaxing to say
the least. Dan was out at Allison’s house so, of course, Phil questioned me
about my feelings.
you ever going to tell him, Y/N?” Phil asked, nudging my arm with his
I pulled up
the blanket to my chest, and sighed heavily. “Philly we’ve talked about
this before. I’ll only ruin things so-"
should tell him. It’s best to get it out there.” Phil gave me a
sympathetic look. It’s like he knew Dan wouldn’t return the feelings but he
didn’t want to keep any secrets. To be honest I’m surprised he didn’t tell Dan
Phil and I
jumped off the couch when we heard a loud bang, and stumbling coming from
downstairs. We exchanged confused glances, and hurried to the front door to see
Dan, stumbling around the entrance of our flat.
guys!” Dan said, his speech slurred.
what the hell happened!?” Phil questioned, running up to his best friend’s
side and helping him take his shoes off.
Allison and I got in a fight. Stupid really-” He tripped over his shoes
that he just took off and laughed. He looked up into my eyes and smiled.
“Don’t worry I’m fine.” Dan pushed Phil’s hand off his shoulder, and
walked up the stairs by himself.
do you want to make sure he’s okay?” Phil asked, walking up to my side as
we slowly followed Dan up the stairs.
talk to him."
I let out
another sigh, and took another glance at Dan, who stumbled into his bedroom.
"Okay. I’m not telling drunk Dan anything though.” I pointed my
finger at Phil, and let out a small laugh to lighten the mood. Phil shook his
head, smacking my hand away and smiling.
go.” He laughed.
I walked to
the kitchen, and poured a small glass of water for Dan. I ignored the aching
pain in my chest, and the tears swelling up in my eyes. I put down the glass
for a moment to take a deep breath, and recollect myself. After a few minutes,
I made my way towards Dan’s room where I saw him softly crying. My heart broke
at the sight. It pained me so much to see another girl make Dan hurt. I hated
it. I walked towards Dan’s bed and gave him the glass of water.
you go, sweetie.” I sat at the end of his bed, waiting for his response.
you.” Dan sniffed, taking a sip of the water.
want to talk about what happened?” I moved closer to him. His legs were
hanging over the edge of his bed and he was staring at the cup of water in his
doesn’t trust me.”
do you mean?” I was right by his side after I finished the question. I
tried to make eye contact with him but he was so closed off, I decided to keep
a little distance.
thinks that I’m cheating on her with you.” He lifted his head slowly and
stared into my eyes. My face turned red and I stared at the ground. I felt the
butterflies in my stomach go crazy, and I had to take a deep breath again to calm
myself down. I looked back into his beautiful, chocolate eyes and stared in
silence for a while.
girl there’s no need to fret
it’s midnight, he’s drunk, and you’re the one in his head.
don’t even have to try at all.
can’t say I’m in love with her but I feel something…strong towards her you
know? I’m not even sure if she feels the same. It’s just- It hurts a lot that
she doesn’t even trust me. ” Dan’s eyes got glossy, and he stared down at
his cup again. All I did was nod my head. I understood where he was coming
from. Someone you may be in love with and they might not even return the
feeling. How ironic.
understand, Dan. But you should get some rest, then talk to her in the
morning.” I flashed a fake smile at Dan and stood up from his bed. I stood
in front of him, and he stared into my eyes like he was searching for
you, Y/N. You’re honestly the best.” Dan put his glass down on his bedside
table and got up to give me hug. I accepted it, taking in his warmth for that
short moment I had. I sighed when he pulled away and sat in his bed. “You want
to…stay with me for a bit?” He asked, not making eye contact. I gave him a
weak smile, and nodded, sitting next to him as he got comfortable underneath
track of time, waiting for Dan to fall asleep. I stared at his sleeping figure
for god knows how long, I felt like a complete creep. He looked so peaceful
with his head resting in my lap it was hard not to. I gently stroked his hair
as he slowly fell asleep, his arms wrapped around my body as his head rested on
my leg. I checked the time on his phone, 1:00 am. I noticed his lock
screen, expecting it to be a picture of him and Allison. But instead it was a
picture of him, me, and Phil at VidCon on our day off. I smiled at it, but
quickly my smile faded when a text from Allison popped up. I decided to ignore
it, and finally leave Dan’s side.
towards the kitchen, hoping not to wake Dan or Phil up. However, to my surprise
Phil was standing in the kitchen, drinking some tea while leaning against the
how did it go?” He asked, staring at me.
doesn’t trust him apparently. Allison thinks he’s cheating on her
with…me.” I sighed. All my emotions that I’ve been holding in all night
were surfacing, and I wasn’t going to let it happen. “Um, he’s asleep now.
He asked me to stay with him for a little while and I lost track of time
because he was…uh-"
with you?” Phil flashed me a smile, but it faded when he looked into my
eyes and noticed the tears coming up. He gave me a sympathetic look and walked
closer to me. “You should just tell him so he knows. So you don’t have to
keep hurting. He will understand, Y/N."
know Phil. It’s just- it hurts seeing them together so much. And of course I
want him to be happy! But that selfish part of me wants him to be happy with
me. God, it fucking hurts.” I felt a warm streak roll down my cheek, and I
quickly wiped it away, looking away from Phil.
I knew he was trying to make me look at him, but I hated being this vulnerable.
“Y/N.” I gave in and stared into Phil’s icy blue eyes. It was full of
sympathy, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
don’t look at me like that please. It’s only making me feel worse.” I felt
more tears surfacing and let out a heavy sigh. I heard Phil mumble a small
apology and he embraced me in a warm, loving hug. At that point I finally
broke. I started sobbing into his shirt, with every sob he would hold me
tighter, and tell me everything was going to be okay. He gently ran his hands
through my hair. I pulled away from Phil, and sniffed, gently rubbing my nose.
I know it hurts but-” Phil paused in the middle of his sentence and stared
behind me. I looked up to Phil, then turned around to see what he was looking
at. There was Dan, his hair curly and disheveled, and his empty glass in his
wrong?” Dan asked, noticing my red, puffy eyes and the tear stains on
Phil’s shirt. He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was concerned.
there’s something wrong, Y/N, tell me.” Dan walked over to the counter and
placed his cup on the surface. I looked up to Phil, and nodded, signaling for
him to give us some alone time. When Phil left the room, Dan pulled me into a
tight hug, and for the second time that night I broke down. “Want to talk
to me about what happened?”
away from Dan and stared at the floor. “It’s not really about w-what
happened. It’s more…what’s happening.” I let out a fake chuckle. Dan shot
me a confused look, and backed up to lean against the counter.
me what’s going on or so help me god Y/N I will-”
Um. I guess.”
it out, please.” Dan tilted his head, giving me a worried look. God I can’t
handle this anymore.
you don’t even have to respond to this…but I really need it out in the
open.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and I took deep
unsteady breath. “I just need you to know that…that” I stared into
Dan’s eyes and I could feel my heart aching all over again. I felt tears
pouring out of my eyes and saw Dan’s tall figure making his way over to comfort
me again but I pulled away.
don’t. You’re just going to make this harder.”
“Y/N tell me. Please, you’re making me worried.” I realized that Dan
and I were standing really close, closer than we usually are. I looked into his
beautiful eyes like it was the last time then stared at the floor.
think I’m in love with you.” I mumbled.
Speak up, love.” Dan said softly.
I ran my fingers through my hair and avoided eye contact at all costs. “I
think I’m in love with you and it fucking stings so much to see you and Allison
together. I mean I don’t blame you, or her. Allison is like the definition of
perfect. I mean she makes me look blind with how adventurous she is and you
look at her like the world is fucking perfect. It’s so stupid to think that I
could compare to her. But god, do I wish it was me in your arms instead of her.
Don’t even get me started about how I feel about you because there is too much
history to even go over.” I shook my head, staring at the ground, watching
my tears hit the white kitchen tiles.
can you look at me please?” Dan was still speaking softly.
told you, you don’t have to even say anything. You could just simply ignore it
and leave, I’ll get the point."
at me, Y/N.” Dan said, more stern but still full of care. I rolled my eyes
and stared into his eyes. Even though my vision was blurred I could still see
the small glimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry for-”
told you, you don’t have to do this."
we need to talk about this. We can’t just ignore it.”
I’ve been ignoring it for 3 years now, so I think I’m good. I know the speech
you’re about to give me and I just…” I let out a muffled sob into my hand,
and looked back up to him. “Please I can’t take this right now."
let me just-"
I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I really need fresh air…I’ll be back
in a bit."
over to the clock on the oven, and slowly moved towards the door. "It’s
1:20, Y/N you can’t go outside alone."
I am, so please move.” Dan was blocking the doorway. I made eye contact
with him and got lost in his eyes again. I felt like time slowed down when we
stared into each other’s eyes, but I broke the contact because I felt more
tears coming. Dan reluctantly walked up to me, opening his arms to give me a
hug. But instead, I pulled away from him.
so sorry.” I mumbled, and ran down the stairs to the front door, putting
on my shoes and coat.
before I could hear anymore. I let the cold London air enter my lungs, as I
tried to relax from what happened, and trying to decide if I should go back and
face Dan, or go to a friend’s house. I ultimately decided on staying outside
for a while. Sitting on a park bench staring at the trees in the park as I
replayed what happened through my head.
A/N: I didn’t read this over, please point out any mistakes.
Steve had ushered you, Natasha and Wanda up to your room, telling you to “bond” and “relax” he was literally like the scolding parent. You all agreed that it would be nice to have a girls night and as most sleepovers go, you ended up drunk talking about your love lives and your impossible crushes.
Wanda was going on about Vis and how certain things would work, while you and Natasha were talking about Steve and Bucky, the dynamic duo.
“So, Natasha, if could sleep with either Steve or Bucky, who would you pick?” Natasha had to think, but she ended up picking Steve as you thought she would. Both your heads turned to Wanda, who blushed profusely.
“I’m spoken for.” She said, her light accent slipping towards the end of her sentence. Natasha wasn’t fazed, but you were momentarily shocked.
“I knew you and Vision had suppressed feelings, but you’re together now?!” She laughed and nodded and you smacked her arm.
“Tell me sooner next time, yeah?”
“What about you Y/N?” You had to think.
“Steve.” You answered after much thought.
“I feel like he’d be better. Bucky has been through… too much, he’d be … nervous.” You finished.
There was a pause and then Nat spoke up.
“I feel like Bucky has a Daddy kink.”
You nearly spit out your drink at the thought.
“Now, I really wanna call him Daddy, but what if he freaks out.” You said, recovering.
Both Wanda and Nat were laughing at the idea of the Winter Soldier freaking out over a silly nickname, but it was a serious concern. What if you called him Daddy as a joke and he got mad.
Why should you care? You decided you would do it.
“Alright alright, Y/N, truth or dare?” Wanda asked. You smirked, feeling brave.
“Dare.” The two girl exchanged looks and you knew you’d made a bad decision
“I dare you to ask Steve out.” You sighed in relief.
“Oh that’s not so bad.”
“With Bucky there, and you have to be flirty about it.”
“Well that’s a little bit worse, but I’ll do it.” They both watched you expectantly.
“N-not right now! Guys it’s two am!” You scolded. It was time to sleep, you’d all be nursing light hangovers in the morning, or afternoon, depending on when you woke.
None of you had hangovers as bad as you’d expected, except Wanda, who woke suddenly and rushed to the bathroom. After Wanda cleaned up and took some Advil she looked at you with pleading eyes.
“You should ask Steve out to dinner tonight, it’s Saturday and neither of you have any plans.” You agreed seeing as it was the only way to get the girls to leave you alone.
Your little trio took the lift down to the kitchen and you immediately spotted Steve and Bucky talking. You plastered a flirtatious smile on your face and walked over to the two soldiers.
“Hey Steve, can I talk to you for a moment?”
Both boys glanced at you for a moment before Steve answered.
“Of course Y/N. What’s up?”
“Are you free tonight, I was hoping you’d accompany me to dinner?” The intimidating super soldier was momentarily flustered.
“Y-you mean like a date?” Your smile brightened.
“Yeah, like a date.” He nodded.
“I’d love to. Uhm, I’ll come pick you up at 6?”
“That’s perfect.” You turned to the girls who were pretending not to listen. You sat at the table and they both pryed you for details. You answered all of their questions until eventually, they left you alone. You took the stairs this time, taking your time going back to your room. It was almost six and you needed at LEAST 15 minutes to get ready for your date. You didn’t bother showering, you had done that this morning, but you did put on makeup. You threw on the dress Nat had laid out for you and admired the finished product. You looked stunning.
Steve was on time, as you’d expected. What you didn’t expect was for him to be the perfect gentleman, he even brought you flowers. He held the door to your car after insisting that he drive because he already picked a restaurant.
When you arrived, Steve ran around the car to let you out, against your protests. He even linked your arm with his.
“For someone with no experience with girls, you’re surprisingly good at this.” His face flushed red and he thanked you, obviously pleased that you approved.
The date went smoothly, since you were already friends you discussed missions (wow what a great date topic) and your lives. You honestly had a great time and you were pretty sure Steve did too.
Since you didn’t have an apartment for him to drop you at, he walked you to the door to your room. You both stopped and turned to look at each other.
“I had a great time tonight Y/N, thank you for taking me out.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, I had fun too.”
He looked down at you and stepped forward, taking your hip and pulling youa bit closer, he leaned down and captured your lips in a soft kiss. You kissed back a bit harder, telling him it was okay. When you realized what was happening, you pushed him away.
“I’m sorry Steve, I-I can’t. I have to go.” You hung your head and retreated into your room. You stripped from your dress and put on shorts and a sweater.
You couldn’t sleep, you were tossing and turning, but you felt really bad. You tossed your blankets off and walked to your desk, taking parchment and a pen. You couldn’t just leave Steve hanging, so you wrote him a note.
Hey Steve, I had a great time last night and that kiss was great, but I don’t like you as anything more than a friend. I’m sorry that I lead you on like that and I hope we can stay friends.
You walked the hall, following the familiar path to Steve’s room. You slipped the paper under his door and made your way downstairs, maybe some tea would help you sleep.
You were relieved that no one was in the kitchen, otherwise you’d have to explain what had happened on your date. You grabbed a tea bag out of the box on the counter and put some water in the kettle. As high tech as Tony’s kitchen was, you preferred to do things the old fashioned way.
You were fiddling with the tea bag and almost jumped out of your skin when you looked up. Bucky was standing in the door frame. You cocked your eyebrow at him.
“What are you doing up?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He said quietly. You moved out of his way so he could grab an apple from the fruit bowl behind you.
“How was your date?” He questioned, eyeing you out of the corner of his eye.
“I don’t know, I had a great time, but I don’t think I like Steve like that. I think I have feelings for someone else” Bucky halted his actions.
“But you kissed him?” Your face flushed red.
“You saw?” His jaw clenched.
“Yeah. You don’t like Steve because you have feelings for someone else, who would that be?” Your eyes widened a fraction and you flushed red, stuttering to find an answer. You couldn’t outright say it was him, that’d be too embarrassing. So instead you stuttered to find and answer.
Bucky smirked and you flushed even harder because it was evident that he knew.
“Oh c'mon, it’s just me, doll, nothing to be nervous about.” He took a step closer and your heart stopped.
“You can tell me.” He said, stepping closer and placing a hand on your waist. You back into the counter, your face was the color of flame and you couldn’t find the words to speak.
The kettle broke into a whistle and the air rushed back to you, you ducked out of Bucky’s constricting grasp and spun to grab your cup. You had your back turned to him, pouring the boiling water over the tea bag, you couldn’t believe how much you were shaking and you nearly dropped the cup when Bucky’s hand was placed over yours to help steady you. You placed the pot back on the stove and leaned on the counter, facing the man with the metal arm.
The smirk he gave you spoke volumes and you tried to smile back.
“I’ll just be going then, back to bed.” He said, turning on his heel. You debated whether or not to call after him, you wanted company, especially if it was his.
“Wait.” You called at his retreating figure.
“Stay.” You said, barely suppressing a whimper.
“Now that’s what I wanted to hear.” He said, his voice deep and gravely. He turned back around and walked towards you, he took the mug gently from your hand, placing it on the table a few feet away.
“Hey! I was drinking that!” I scolded.
“You’re not anymore.” He stated with finality. The dominance in his voice had the heat pooling between your legs and you knew you were done for.
He positioned himself between your legs and brought his hand to your waist, pulling you flush against him. You gasped at the sudden contact, almost loosing your footing. He brought his other hand up to steady you and slowly leaned down. He stopped when his lips brushed yours, asking for permission. You leaned up into him, giving him all the permission he needed. The second your lips touched he trailed his hands down your back until they were resting on the backs of your legs. A sign for you to jump. You did as he asked and he hoisted you up, hooking your legs around his hips. A soft moan escaped your lips when he attached his lips to the sensitive spot on your neck.
“We can’t do this here, sugar, let’s take this to my room.” He suggested. Words failed you, so you nodded, detatching yourself from him and taking his hand instead.
You abandoned your tea and walked hand in hand with Bucky down the corridor in complete silence, you didn’t need words. He was rubbing comforting circles over your knuckles.
He opened his door gently, making sure not to wake the whole tower. You smirked to yourself and slamed the door behind you, pushing him up against the door and capturing his lips with his own.
He gasped at your sudden dominance, grabbing your hips and pulling you flush against him.
He slid his hand up under your sweater and you raised your arms for him. He threw it across the room and then followed it with his own shirt.
He only let you marvel at his body for a moment before he brought himself back to you, picking you up. He carried you to the bed and dropped you, taking a step back to admire you.
“You look so good laying there for me, doll. Take your shorts off.”
You did as you were told, stripping yourself of the constricting garment. He watched your every movement with lust-filled eyes. He dropped his pants in one fluid movement, stepping out of them.
Your eyes dropped to the massive bulge in his pants and you heard him laugh. He straddled your hips, trailing kisses from your neck down. You tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled his face back you yours, kissing him passionately.
One hand dropped from his hair to his boxers as you palmed him through the fabric, he groaned and you could feel him twitching beneath your touch.
“Fuck doll, you gotta stop” you did as you were told, instead, pulling down his boxers and wrapping your small hand around his cock. He inhaled sharply, tensing under your touch. He pulled your hand away and for a moment you were discouraged.
He laid a chaste kiss on your cheek and whispered in your ear.
“You first.” The bed shifted as he got off, kneeling next to the end. He adjusted you so that your legs were around his neck.
“I like this view.” He added and you blushed at the comment, choosing not to answer. He placed a kiss on your clothed core, causing you to buck your hips upwards. He laughed and removed your panties, placing another kiss, but this time he held your hips in place. He licked his way from your entrance to your clit, nibbling on the bundle of nerves.
His eyes never once left your face, when you moaned his name he stopped, you groaned at the loss of contact and opened your eyes. Bucky had a stern look on his face.
“What’d wrong Buck?’ You questioned.
“That’s not my name tonight. You call me ‘Daddy’, understand?” The combination of his deep voice and the dominance had you shell shocked.
“Y-yes Daddy.” You ignored the embarrassment of him obviously overhearing you and instead enjoyed his praise. He went to work on your chest, massaging your hardened nipples with both hands.
“Do you like that doll?”
“Yes, Daddy, please, more.” You begged.
“Oh don’t worry, I’m not done yet.”
He lined himself up with your entrance and slid himself into you. You gasped, adjusting to his size. He paused a moment, letting you adjust before he pulled out, slamming back into you not a second later. He transitioned between soft and hard, looking for your g spot, when he hit it you moaned his name, loudly.
“Tell Daddy how much you love to feel him slamming into you”
“I love it Daddy, please, harder." He groaned and slammed into you at an alarming rate, both of you were chasing your high. The sound of your moans and the slapping of skin resonated through the empty room. The bubble that had been building in your stomach popped and you bucked your hips upward, screaming Bucky’s name. Not long after you felt the warmth if his seed on your stomach and his body collapsing next to you. You both sat, catching your breath.
Incognito;bts reaction to your drunken confession (possibly actually sticking with ur confession the night after???)
Note: UGH, I posted this very late last night & it made my phone glitchy. Lets hope it works this time. *cries*
*credit to gif owners*
A week had passed since you had drunkenly confessed to Seokjin, and the man had a distinct feeling that you were too drunk to notice who he was at the time; blatantly telling your feelings to the wrong person but boy, was he proven wrong.
He was admiring you from afar, taking in everything that is you when you spoke up. “I do love you, you know.” You whispered under your breath and the man blinked, wondering if he had heard you correctly since you two were walking down the busy streets. You then looked up to him with a smirk, your cheeks completely flushed and he couldn’t help but laugh at your shy expression. You were indeed cute.
He remembered the smell of alcohol roaming around your body, he remembered the way he carried you on his back to your home because you were way too drunk to walk, and what he would definitely remember for a fact..
Is your confession.
It was the day after when Yoongi wondered if what you told him was true, and when his eyes locked onto yours from inside the studio, you looking away with flushed cheeks — he smiled so big and wanted to do nothing more than to scream to the whole world that your feelings were reciprocated.
The bar was filled with bustling humans, and Hoseok tried his best to rip you away from the stool where multiple empty glasses laid before you. “You’re supposed to be m-my hope, my angel~!” You slurred, gripping to the edge of the table while the man had his arms encircled around your waist — ready to pull hard. You’ve been saying those words all night and he had no clue why, but still, he found your drunken self cute.
He finally yanked you off the stool, throwing you over his shoulder as you whined in distaste. It was when he stepped out of the bar and into the cool night, when you mumbled “I love you, Hoseok.” He froze, hearing your breathing steady as you fell asleep and he wanted to laugh into the night in glee; hoping to anything you would tell him again when you were sober.
He had found you drunk at his friend’s party, finding you falling asleep on Taehyung’s side when he decided you had enough fun. He helped you up, guiding you out the home with his arm around your shoulder when you mumbled something incoherent. He was confused at first, his eyebrows furrowing and knowing you would never say those three words to him at all, but he was proven otherwise when he slid you into the passenger seat of his car before he got in himself.
“I love you, Nam..joon.” You mumbled, eyes closed as you breathed deeply. His heart fluttered as he stared towards your toxic form when a smile began to play along your lips. “So, so much.”
He had his arm around your waist when he was helping you off the pier, you having drank too much in the restaurant and becoming hazy in seconds. You were quiet the whole time as he dragged you off the wooden tiles and onto the sand before you decided to confess, which caught him off guard. “You’re kidding,” he laughed nervously, “you’re just drunk-”
He lost his footing, falling into the sand and taking you with him as you landed on top of him. He expected you to scream or puke, anything, but what you did instead was hum in delight as you lay on his chest. “Let’s stay like this forever.”
He flushed scarlet, staring at the stars when his heart began to beat faster as his arms wrapped around your small form. “..okay.”
It was too good to be true, you confessing to him in the midst of your intoxication. He was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of holding onto those drunken words that he didn’t even realize it himself when he was stalking towards your way in the studio. You both were alone, and when you looked to him with a smile, the words, “do you really love me?” slipped past his lips before it could register in his brain.
“Yes.” You stated with confidence before your skin tinted into an infuriating red color, quickly making yourself look stupid as you began to dance the uneasiness away. “I mean, no, and-”
Taehyung could only laugh at your nervous state, suddenly feeling a rush of happiness go through him.
You were both sitting on the grass in the backyard, trying to escape the crazy get-together that was happening inside the house with the guys. You were way too drunk, eyes closed as your head laid against Jungkook’s chest while he stared at the stars when your delusional self bravely told him you loved him. He blinked, “you what?”
“I love you,” you said a little annoyed at having to repeat yourself. He suddenly became shy, his whole body turning fifty shades of red at your confession. “I always have, and I always w-will..” It was quiet then, and he was trying his best not to ruin your sleep, that was, until you let out an obnoxious sneeze. He tried desperately to hold back a smile.
1. I should’ve bought more flowers for you, now I buy flowers even if today isn’t Valentine’s Day or a day with a specific meaning, in a way, every petal is imbued with an apology and every time someone leans in to smell it they can feel the parts of me that you’ve forgiven far long before I could
2. I didn’t start to feel better until I started to take better care of myself, a constant whisper of you saying “i was just worried about you”
3. You can’t let someone be your only source of happiness because once they’re gone, you’re all alone again and there’s nothing worse than starting all the way back over with yourself: square one of a broken heart multiplied by the intensity of she’s not coming back, let her go
4. Music will never betray me
5. Poetry is thinking that you’ve got it figured out and a metaphor is just your way of saying I don’t
6. Art rules the world and I am a masterpiece in progress; how can I love myself like how you did if I can’t see that little bit?
7. Lust isn’t conducive for growth, it’s like an addict trying to get his fix– some day, he’s going to break and not even the drug can help him
8. I buy myself nice things, but I can’t fill this emptiness inside of my heart– I guess some nights, I just miss being next to you
9. I still can’t get used to sleeping alone
10. Sometimes I wish I would’ve picked up your phone calls during the first few months, I broke my promise and you know something? I regret it
11. I threw away our love letters and memories two months ago, I cried the whole time– yeah, still a fool for you, but baby, we’ve changed so much, I’m happy with my unhappy
12. You once told me to go on many adventures without you, did you account for my depression? You know, I don’t blame you for any of this. In reality it was always an us thing, a too young thing, a stupid, mad love thing– as always, I still love you, I just don’t know what love is anymore
13. They were right, soulmates touch you and they change you forever– the moment a colorful paint filled brush hits the water and the figments of colors flow into the cup, you left my soul with so many seasons, I’m still raking up the leaves from last fall
14. The last time I saw you we shouldn’t have had sex, I think that night really broke you– I think that night really broke me too
15. I should’ve laid my head onto your chest and counted your heartbeats more often, I’m sorry
16. Sometimes when I talk to people and tell them random facts that you’ve filled my head up, I swear I can hear your voice echo in the back of my head– “baby, check this out, you’re gonna love it”
17. I always do
18. I still remember your favorite Harry Potter line
19. After all of this time? …Always.
20. I smoke cigarettes to think about how to think less, the fucking irony
21. I take painkillers and my excuse is that my right hand still hurts, in truth, I’m just another addict that believes if I take another maybe my heart might just start to sound like it belongs to me
22. I didn’t cut myself because I wanted to die, I cut myself open because I wanted to feel how often I made your heart break, each scar on my shoulders is a time when I’ve made you cry
23. And each night that I can’t sleep, I stay up wishing that you’re doing okay
24. I don’t pray often, but when I do, I always prayed for your mom, although she hated me, I’m so glad that she put you on this earth to allow us to meet– I have changed so much since I’ve met you
25. The crazy part? You still change me everyday
26. You know the renaissance era? Falling in love with you was like that
27. My favorite photo of us were those two kids eating a banana split at the New Orleans mall, I miss those two innocent kids, oh, how we’ve changed
28. We are destined to have this eternal flame kind of distance– the brighter I burn, the more you’ll read, the only thing that keeps me writing some days is knowing that somewhere, somehow you’re always reading, no matter who you’re with or if you’re laughing or crying or smiling
29. My number one fan was always you first
30. I’ve made so many bad decisions, you were never one of them
31. I’ve written so many bad poems, you were in every single one
32. I’ve written some pretty great ones too tho…!
You were also in those
33. I miss cleaning your eyes for you
34. I have met some amazing people because of what happened to us
35. I can’t get you by Fallbrooke the acoustic version is no longer on the internet, the funny part? The very last day that it was on the web, I downloaded it right before they removed it. It’s still my favorite song of all time, our song
36. Hold your tears by Clazziquai too
37. Sometimes when I get off from work, I sit in the car and cry, some tears don’t have meaning, they just need to come out
38. I claim to write poetry, but I feel like they’re just love letters sent to no one in particular
39. It’s not that I’m not over you, I’m just trying to get used to not needed you
40. It’s not that it hurts to the point where I can’t breathe, I’m just trying to light my own path to self-love and healing
41. The fact that your favorite color is orange, it makes the fruit taste some type of way
42. Sometimes I want to call you, but I don’t
42. Sometimes I want to text you and I do
43. Sometimes I want you to answer, I’m glad you don’t
43. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and call, I’m glad that I don’t
44. You stopped writing when we first met, in some way, the girl that waits by the shore has left a million pens near my desk and to this day– I wait by the shore too, just in case inspiration hits, right?
45. Our little codes of love finally decoded enough for me to not be blinded by you
46. We were both messed up people, I think we knew that about each other and maybe that’s why I always know when you’re not feeling okay
47. I still don’t have love figured out, but damn I’ll open every fucking door in my heart even if I have to go down the sewer to find every key
48. Someone says that she’s falling for me, I’m legit afraid to hurt people now– like it’s a real fear, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore
49. I should’ve given you the stars, but instead I left your heart scattered across the universe
50. It’s been almost two year and I’m still writing about you, but at least it’s less often, right?
51. You’ve always been kinda self-centered, I think you enjoy it when I write about you. Like if I write about you in some way, maybe I’m still yours
52. We were just too damn young to realize how destructive passion, love, romance, stagnation, betrayal and pain is when mixed together
53. Sometimes I go to the places that we used to go just to create new memories without you
54. Sometimes it works
55. Most of the time, it just flicks me off
56. My brain is constantly telling me that I’m a fuck up and the more I try to get it right, the more I keep getting it wrong
57. I am trying to master the art of letting go
58. And this list is a step towards better things
59. And this life is going to be alright
60. Without you, I am still me
61. Without you, I can still breathe
62. Without you, I am still alive
63. Without you, I am still poetry
64. I can barely remember your face, I guess being around a lot of different people at work helps out plenty
65. This world is filled with pain, I hope you look back and smile about us some day
66. Maybe when you’re old and grey– you’ll remember those two young kids who slow danced in the dark
67. If we were made from the same star, I want to return home some day
68. I want to shine bright enough for the two of us
69. You’re still my best friend even if we no longer talk
70. You’ll always be my best friend
71. I still care about you
72. A whole fucking lot
73. The world is full of mysteries, I’m glad that we’re in the known, I’m glad that we’ve met
74. I hope you never regret me, you wanna know why? I could never, ever, ever, ever regret you
75. I don’t know how to open up to people anymore and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or yours– maybe this one time, it’s our fault… are you like this too?
76. I’ve been told that I’m too hard on myself, I firmly believe that one of the reason as to why we split was because I wasn’t hard enough on myself– I got too fucking comfortable with your promises and I took you for granted
77. Life waits for no one
78. I let an ex of mine break my red and black ring– she said that if I was over you, I’d let her break. I let her break it, but jokes on me, it didn’t change a thing about how I still feel about you
79. I keep writing and writing and writing because one of these days– it’ll stop being about you
80. Sometimes it works, but deep down, I know in some way, you’ll always find a way to sneak back out
81. I can’t get you out of my head sometimes
82. It’s even harder because you’re still inside of my heart
83. I saw this cool picture on Tumblr with someone cutting a piece of herself off that resembled two lovers splitting up, that shit looked like it hurt
84. Love hurts because even eating cotton candy ice cream really fast will give you a brain freeze
85. You didn’t like my rat tail idea, I grew one out just to fuck with you. Jokes on me, I love it now.
86. You never really supported the idea of me being anything, tbh, it’s not your fault. None of it is. I should’ve been my own motivation. I guess by supporting you through nursing school, I wanted to hear you say that I could do it even when I was at my lowest point.
87. I realized a few thing about loving you.
88. When you hit rock bottom, few will be loyal enough to stick it out with you
89. Money rules the world, since I’m not wealthy in any way– one day when I am, I can laugh a little about all of this
90. I think you loved our memories more than you loved me, in truth, I did too
91. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get close to people
92. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let you go
93. Maybe that’s why you still read
94. We had something raw and experimental, young and dumb, mistakes on top of mistakes
95. It was a perfect compass to point us to our future selves
96. I know a great many things now– although I am depressed, with or without you
97. I am great, I am strong
98. I am my own happy before anyone else’s
99. I can love myself enough to let you go
100. I had to hurt you to really, really grow–
I think to this day, that’s the thing that hurts me the most. That I had to hurt my best friend in this whole wide world, to make you crumble, to make you cry, to make you hate me– I had to do all of that in order to love myself. And it’s sad because here I am, still trying to figure it all out.
Hi, dollface! I’m your CSSV and had so much fun writing this for you. I’ve enjoyed our little chats over the last few weeks and I hope you enjoy the story. I tried to put as many little touches of you in it as I could.
The knock came at 2:05. It was tentative, barely pulling Killian
out of a dreamless sleep and for a moment, he thought he’d imagined it.
Fuzzy-brained, he was a second away from chalking it up to a rattling pipe or
noise from the street when another knock came, this one more insistent.
Tossing the covers off and cursing as he kicked his feet
free from the tangled sheet, he padded through the living room, throwing the
deadbolt and dramatically pulling the door open, ready to give his untimely
visitor hell while wearing nothing more than a pair of boxer briefs and a
The piss and vinegar was short-lived when his eyes fell onto
the figure standing in the hallway.
Her face was red and blotchy with strands of blonde hair
sticking to tear tracks. A cheap diaper bag, stretched to the limits and
overflowing, was slung over her shoulder, one of those infant car seats
designed for carrying at her feet, the baby inside asleep.
Chin lifting just enough to convey some measure of pride, her eyes wouldn’t rise enough meet his. When she spoke it was to the dog
tags resting on his chest.
•pairing: min yoongi x reader • genre/warnings: smut,
masturbation with a twist, non-penetrative sex toy usage • words: 4,851 → summary: in which you’re
unsure if you’ve ever received an orgasm and when you finally pluck up the
courage to use the vibrator you bought that one day on a whim, Yoongi barges
through the door… • note. sometimes I should
never be left alone with my thoughts…
This is the conclusion to the series! I hope you all have enjoyed it and that this lives up to your expectations. Thanks for all of the love and support I have received for this imagine. Means the world to me.
“How long does it take to get the results of this test?” You wonder out loud to Harry later that evening. The two of you were headed for LAX, going to pick up Anne, whose flight was to be landing at any minute. Harry had gone early that morning and gotten his blood drawn, as did the mother. Harry told you the two of them didn’t see or speak to each other though, which was good.
“They said a couple of days but would rush it because of the circumstances.” Harry explains, keeping his eyes forward and both hands tight on the steering wheel.
“You mean because of who you are.” You clarified for him. “If you aren’t the father, they’ll want to know as soon as possible so they can make sure no one starts rumors you’re having a child, and if they do they have proof that you aren’t.”
“Can we jus’ not talk abou’ this? ’m nervous, ’m scared, I don’ need you over here sayin’ stuff like tha’ to make me feel worse.” This was the first time he had snapped at you in awhile, especially since all of this had happened. It showed you just how much this was taking a toll on him.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, reaching over to rest your hand on his bicep. “I was just thinking out loud, I guess.” You tell him, removing your hand. He sighs, instantly regretting the tone of voice he had taken with you. He glances over at you but you weren’t looking at him and instead were focused on the buildings and cars flying past outside your window.
Harry had felt a sense of hope last night and this morning that things would be okay with the two of you. You had kissed him, you had said you loved him, you’d laughed and joked with him this morning when he got home from the doctors office. Things felt normal and okay again. And he knew the results of the paternity test would most likely determine if you would return back to London as his girlfriend or his ex to never see him again.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about all of this anymore. Of course, he didn’t particularly want this baby, but if it was his he knew he would love it completely and raise him or her to the best of his ability, even if that meant he would lose you. He would be a parent and he would have to do what he had to for his child. For the fear of losing you alone was the only reason he was praying the baby turned out not to be his. He hadn’t let himself feel that emotional connection yet. He hadn’t seen an ultrasound, he hadn’t heard a heartbeat, right now it was an abstract idea, a phantom consuming his thoughts until all of this was resolved.
“Hey,” Harry breaks from his thoughts and looks over at you for a second, seeing that you were looking at him with concern riddled across that beautiful face. You reach over, resting a hand on his leg. “You alright?”
“Jus’ thinkin’.” Harry answers, turning back to the road. They were almost at the airport. He couldn’t wait to see his mother. He needed the comfort of his mothers arms around him as he figured this all out. You were also excited to see her. Anne had always been such a comfort to you and it was going to be nice to have her around to help.
“What about?” You wonder, your hand still resting on his leg. You see him bite at his lower lip, clearly unsure if he wanted to tell you what was on his mind or not. “You don’t have to tell me.” You assure him but he shakes his head.
“’m jus’ thinkin’ abou’ how I’ll feel if the baby isn’ mine and how I’ll feel if it is mine.” He explains quietly, giving a small shrug of his muscular shoulders. “I don’ feel a connection yet and I know the only way there would be chance of you forgiving me would be if I wasn’ the father so I prefer tha’ instead of a child with someone else righ’ now.”
“Whether you’re the father or not, you still cheated and then lied to me, Harry. I’m not going to just forgive you because you might not be the father.” Though admittedly, you would be more so open to resolving all of this if he wasn’t going to be tied down to a child.
“Yeah, bu’ if ‘m no’ then I have more time to spend on gettin’ you back.” He grins over at you then and takes your hand from his leg to bring the back of your hand up to his lips. He glances over at you as his soft lips kiss your skin before he puts your hand back on his leg and focuses back on the road. You’re heart raced at his touch, your mind going a mile a minute.
You didn’t speak for the remainder of the trip, which was thankfully not much, but you did keep your hand on his leg. Once you saw Anne and you both got out of the car, heading to greet her, she pulled you both into a hug one at a time, holding you both close against her as you hug her just as tightly back.
“Oh, Harry,” She comments, resting a hand on her son’s cheek as she looks into his tired and clearly stressed face but he gives her a smile, not wanting to upset her more than he already had. He hugs her again before he takes her bags and heads to put them in the back of his car while the two of you hug again.
The drive home was thankfully not awkward. Baby talk didn’t happen, instead Anne shared stories of what was going on at home, what her and Robin had been up to, as well as Harry’s sister Gemma. It was nice to talk about something other than the baby and cheating and just pretend that everything was okay again.
“So, am I taking the guest room or is it pre-occupied?” Anne questioned when Harry was close to pulling into the driveway. That’s when you glance over at Harry, realizing the two of you clearly hadn’t thought about that. You’d been sleeping in the guest room still while he was in your old bedroom. Now with Anne needing the guest room where would you go.
“I’ll just… I’ll take the couch. It will only be for a few days anyway.” You answer, giving a shrug. The couch was plenty big enough and decently comfortable so it shouldn’t be too bad.
“I’ll take the couch.” Harry argues. “Or, you could stay with me. We have a huge bed, or well… I have a huge bed.. we won’ have to sleep close together or anythin’.” You bite your lip but decide he was right. You wouldn’t have to be close to him as the bed was in fact huge with plenty of space but you had to admit it would still be a little bit weird and hard to be so close in a bed that the two of you had once been intimate in but it would have to do for the next few days until all of this was finished and you returned home.
It was so nice to have Anne there. She helped fill that awkward silence that sometimes fell between you and Harry. She also made it easy to not talk about the current situation, the two of you were escaping all of it finally and it felt so nice to have laughs and comfort instead of arguing and tears.
“Jus’ kick me if I ge’ too close.” Harry comments to you after the two of you had gotten ready for bed. You were pulling all the extra pillows off the bed that Harry had always been annoyed by. He always claimed that you didn’t need more than what you used to sleep so why overload the bed with smaller decorative ones? You said it made the room complete and they were staying, so he put up with it but you had to admit, the task of taking them off every night did get kind of annoying, as did having to put them all back on in the morning. “You know I like a cuddle.”
“And you know I have no problem kicking you.” You respond with an innocent smile to which his response was to grab a pillow and toss it at you. You laugh as it bounces off your arm that you held up to shield yourself. “You can kick me if I get too close too. Not that I will but ya know, just in case.”
“Yeah, I will.” He smirks at you as the two of you pull back the blankets and slide into bed. You sigh as you collapse back into the pillows, pulling the thick blanket up to your chin as you sink into the mattress. You had missed this comfortable bed.
Surprisingly, the two of you did keep your distance from one another throughout the night. He stayed on his side, and you on yours. He woke before you and couldn’t help but smile over at your sleeping form, needing to resist the urge to pull you close against him like he used to. He knew you wouldn’t like that though so instead he just leaned in, pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, careful not to wake up, before sliding out of bed.
“Mornin’, sunshine.” He greeted you when you entered the kitchen a little while later. He lifts his forkful of eggs in a greeting before sliding the plate over to you when you sit beside him. “Eggs?” He asks, his mouth full. You laugh and shove him with your elbow before grabbing his fork.
“You’re disgusting.” You comment before shoving your own forkful of eggs into your mouth. You realize then that maybe sharing a plate of breakfast wasn’t a normal and just friends kind of thing to do but it’s what the two of you had done for so long, it happened so naturally just as holding hands after the meeting with the lawyers had been. You push the thoughts from your head though as Anne walks into the room, freshly showered and grinning at her son and you, happy to see that things were clearly getting better with the two of you.
“Morning everyone!” She greets, going about making herself a cup of coffee. Harry watched you through the rest of breakfast, the two of you passing the fork back and forth until the eggs were gone. He kept thinking about how nice all of this had been and how easily it could go back to this but that damn test was looming over everything. It could ruin all of this but then he kept thinking how he already had ruined all of this but these moments gave him hope that just maybe it wasn’t over, that you and him still had a chance as a couple.
It had now been three days since he took the paternity test and still hadn’t gotten an answer but everyday he woke up with his hands shaking, a nervous sweat building on his skin as he thought about how today could be the day. This morning you had picked up on it as you awoke and knew instantly what he was thinking, so against your better judgement you pulled him close and allowed him to curl against you and cry.
“I don’ know what I’m goin’ to do.” He cried into your neck, holding you tight against him. “I can’ be the father, I can’t.”
“We’ll get through this, Harry,” You realized as you said it how that sounded and Harry clearly did too as he gave a small hiccup and lifted his head to frown down at you. “I mean… I.. we’ll get through finding out the results. I… we’ll figure out the rest when we get there.” You were so confused as to how you were feeling lately, about him, about the cheating, about the baby.
You loved Harry, you loved him so much, and he had been showing you how much he loved you these last few days. He was being caring, affectionate as best he could without letting it go too far and make you uncomfortable, he was being his old self and you had missed that. You missed Harry, and you missed being in a relationship with him. Maybe forgiving him wouldn’t be such a bad thing. He had been your life for so long, you could perhaps try at least.
It was later that afternoon, the two of you and Anne had been watching a movie when Harry’s phone rang. You looked over at him beside you and saw that his face had grown pale. You glance down at his phone and see it was his lawyer calling him. The results were in.
“Answer it, Harry.” You hiss at him, elbowing him. He looks over at you, his eyes wide and a crease formed between his brows. “I can do it.” You reach for the phone but he seems to snap out of it and stands up, accepting the call.
He walks across the room, his back to both of you as he talks low, his voice quiet. You and Anne look over at each other and she reaches over to take your hand as she picks up on the way your heart rate had increases and your breathing had become shallow as you focused on Harry, trying to hear what was happening but you couldn’t hear him.
And then the phone fell from his hand as he ended the call and your heart sank. That gave you the answer of what the news he had just received was and you felt your heart shattering all over again. Harry was to be a father, you just knew it.
“Harry?” Anne questions after a few moments of silence, Harry still with his back to the two of you. “What did he say?” But Harry still didn’t answer.
“Harry? Talk to us, please.” You stand then, releasing Anne to walk towards him. “Please.” Maybe it was the fact that you had come closer, or maybe it was just the fact that you had a quiet plea to your voice and he sensed you were close to tears, but he finally turned. His face was dry but his eyes were wide and he had an emotion hidden in his eyes that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What did he say?”
“It’s…” He takes a deep breath and then to your astonishment, he began to smile. “It’s not mine.” His breath was just a whisper but you heard it loud and clear. “They said there wasn’ a match at all and there’s no way it’s mine.” Your head was buzzing, unable to form a coherent thought as you look up into those green eyes.
“Oh, Harry,” You both turn as Anne stands and rushes over to hug him tightly but you still just stood there. “I’ll… I’ll give you two some time to talk this through.” She kisses Harry’s cheek, then yours after giving you a quick hug, and leaves the room. Harry turns to you, silently questioning your thoughts.
“It’s over, love, it’s all over. We don’ have to worry abou’ this anymore.” All he wanted to hear now after hearing those amazing words was to hear you say you still loved him and were willing to give him another chance. “Okay, look,” He steps forward and takes your hands in his, gripping at you tightly. You look up into his eyes, still wanting your thoughts to straighten themselves out but your head was still buzzing so instead you allowed him to talk. “I know I still messed up, I cheated, and tha’ will forever be my bigges’ regret bu’ if you le’ me, I will spend the rest of my life tryin’ to make up for this. I love you, I love you so much, Y/N. Please… give me jus’ one more chance, tha’s all ‘m askin for.”
“Harry,” You whisper, releasing one of his hands to instead bring your hand up to rest on his slightly stubble covered cheek. He hadn’t shaved that morning but you liked the feel of it under your fingertips. “It’s going to take a lot for me to fully forgive you.” He sighs, closing his eyes as he willed the tears not to come. He knew this was it. He had made it to the other side of this whole pregnancy ordeal so now you were going to say since he didn’t need you anymore you were going to leave. “But I’m willing to try.” His eyes pop open and he sees you giving him a soft smile.
“Really?” He whispers, unable to believe that you were willing to give him another chance, and give him another shot at being a better boyfriend this time. You still wanted him, you still wanted to be with him, and he was stunned that somehow, after all this shit you were willing to try again. He didn’t deserve you, he really didn’t.
“I love you so much, Harry,” You say. “And even after all of this, through all of this, if I can still love you, then just maybe we really can make this work.”
“Oh my god.” He whispers it like a prayer and then pulls you into his arms, his face burying in your neck as he holds you close. Your arms wrap tightly around his shoulders, both of you with grins you couldn’t control. “I love you, I love you so much.” He pulls back to say and then his lips were on yours. “I don’ deserve you-”
“Just shut up and kiss me again, Harry. I’m done talking.” You cut him off, a grin on your face. His face broke out into his adorable boyish grin that you had missed so much. You tangle your fingers in his hair as his lips join with yours again.
Well, this is kinda angsty, but can I request a scenario where zen & mc are together and in the last rfa party zen slept with jaehee and after a few days jaehee couldn't deal with the blame and told mc in front of all rfa but MC pretended not to believe her (andthenrfa*cof*saeran*cof*tryingtocomforther). This is ridiculously specific, i know lolol but feel free if you don't want to do it, it's okay, or if you want to change anything just do it 😅 I love love love your blog and your writing ❤❤❤❤❤
Ok so this post actually ended up being realllly long and I don’t know how to do the ‘read more’ thing so I’m really sorry to anyone trying to scroll by Oops
And I’m so glad you like my writing, and I’m also really glad I got this request because at first I wasn’t sure how to write it (I basically ended up writing a fanfiction using bullet points haha oops) but I had a lot of fun doing it.
Disclaimer: I don’t think Zen would ever cheat and I actually don’t think Jaehee has any romantic feelings for him, just admiring adoration.
And I know you said I could change things but it’s rlly angsty and I’m an angst monster and I kinda love it sooo i’m gonna keep it exactly how you wrote it
let’s do it
Zen had always been flirty with you
And at some point..you had started flirting back
And soon it was more than flirting and you found yourself head over heels for each other
Constant phone calls too each other where you’d gush over how you wished you could see each other
Good morning and Goodnight texts
The occasional shameless flirt in the public chat
Once you two met at the first RFA party it was like a scene from a Disney movie, you two all but ran to each other and he swung you around once he snagged you in a tight embrace
Looking into his eyes you swore this could be love
He did too.
He really did swear he was in love with you
You were everything he had hoped and more
You were the person that woke him up everyday and put a smile on his face, you were the person that he thought of when love songs came on the radio, when he was on stage you were his muse, when he lay down to sleep at night you were the final thought in his head, and the first one in his dreams.
The next RFA party was a few months after you two had first met in person, only a couple months into your very happy relationship
You two had spent the first half of the night joined at the hip, happily enjoying each other’s company.
But somewhere throughout the nights timeline you both got distracted by separate guests and acquaintances and wandered away from each other.
Zen started drinking. Whoever he was talking to kept egging him on and the two of them were having a good ole time, which is rare for Zen in these occasions because the guests are usually upper class aristocrats like Jumin or if they are there for Zen, it’s as fans instead of friends
So he thought he’d treat himself
It got to be a bit much
The other guests were starting to notice and Jumin was not going to have the press covering Zen’s drunken gusto at an RFA event
“Assistant Kang,” Jumin sauntered over to Jaehee while keeping his eyes on Zen. “please escort Hyun to the back where he can cool down, out of the cameras’ lines of sight.”
“Of course, Mr. Han” And Jaehee was off. She was relieved that she had an excuse to get Zen out of the room, she too recognized the bad press that could follow this event but felt she hadn’t had the authority to tell Zen otherwise
But under the guise of Jumin’s will, she was able to convince Zen to head to the back so ‘Jumin wouldn’t bitch’ (in the words of the actor).
Soon it was just the two of them in the back room, Jaehee giving Zen water as he yanked at his shirt collar, complaining it was hot.
In his drunken shenanigens he managed to undo all his buttons at some point while Jaehee was getting more water, so she came back to shirtless Zen.
Zen knew those eyes.
As the assistant stared at his pectorals with a slight blush on her cheeks, he looked into her eyes and saw something
Adoration. Admiration. Want.
She wanted him.
Somewhere, deep in his psyche, behind the pseudo narcissist wall, 10 year old Hyun Ryu craved the attention. The positive attention his mom said he’d never get
He had you
But in that moment he had Jaehee too, and he couldn’t turn that down
Jaehee doesn’t even know how it initiated, she just recalls Zen pressing her against the wall and kissing her with a passion she’s never felt before.
His hands undoing the buttons of her shirt
His lips whispering praises of how she was not only successful, but also beautiful. And so sweet. And smart. And-
She almost cried. Someone as talented as Zen saw something so great in someone as plain as her? Impossible.
But he kept assuring her, and touching her, and loving her
Loving her the way he should have been loving you
The guilt hit her, but she watched it disappear as ecstasy took over
Zen passed out once they were both finished, pants undone and shirt wide open, but eyes closed and soft breaths flying in and out of his lips
Jaehee was wide awake though.
She was leaning against the wall, clothes messily pulled back on and tears threatening her eyes
The guilt was back and it felt like the weight of the world’s biggest mistake was sitting on her shoulders
She put her hands over her mouth as she stared at Zen, and she started crying when she thought of you.
“What have I done?”
After every party, the RFA gets together a few days later to go over logistics. What worked, what didn’t, who came, how to convince more people to come, etc
Jaehee’s heart dropped as you and Zen walked in together, a bright smile on your face, a blank slate on his.
No not blank
When Jaehee met his crimson eyes she saw it, the same thing he probably saw in her eyes: Guilt. Remorse. Regret.
She could barely stomach the feel as you greeted her and hugged her
“Jaehee! Good to see you! I feel like we didn’t get to talk much at the party thanks to someone making a little scene” As you pulled away you playfully rolled your eyes towards Zen.
He just gave a nervous chuckle
Jaehee opened her mouth, ready to spill her guts, only to find it was dry as cotton.
You gave her a quizzical look, ready to ask what was wrong, but Jumin’s voice interrupted with “Shall we begin?” looking pointedly at the three of you.
“Yahoo~” Seven cheered as he plopped down next to Saeran, who had recently been getting dragged along to all the RFA meetings, given he tended to just sit in the corner and pout.
Much like right now. He did little more than look at you and nod, which was as courteous a greeting as you were going to get with him.
Yoosung nodded, signaling everyone was ready, and the discussion began
You all were about 30 minutes into the conversation
Except for Jaehee
She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the night of the party
She couldn’t stop looking at you and feeling guilty
She couldn’t stop thinking about telling you
“I need water” She stood up abruptly, startling everyone a bit
Jumin had a bit of an annoyed look on his face but conceded with “Fine. Quick 5 minute break for everyone”
Jaehee booked it to the kitchen
“Uh…I’m thirsty too.” Cue Zen bee-lining after her.
“Are you Okay??” He asked in a harsh whisper
“No I’m not okay!” Jaehee hissed back “We…we have to tell her.”
“No!” Zen’s eyes widened “No. You and I both know it was a mistake that will never happen again. She doesn’t need to know.”
“Zen if you love her-”
“I do love her!” He snapped back “I love her which is why I can’t lose her Jaehee. I know we messed up, I do. But..I can’t lose her over my mistakes” His eyes were pleading even more than his voice
Jaehee just stared into the crimson orbs, feeling the knot in her stomach grow. She just weakly nodded.
There was a moment of silence before she chugged her glass of water and turned to head back towards the living room where everyone was seated
She took a strong stride in
She bit her tongue
She was not going to-
You were the first face she met walking back in
Your smile welcoming her back to the circle
Your eyes cheery
Your heart open to her as it had been since the first day even when she treated you coldly.
Zen was right behind Jaehee and nearly bumped into her when she stopped dead in her tracks
“Jaehee?” You and he called at the same time, him due to her abrupt stop, and you because of the tears suddenly pouring from her eyes.
“Jaehee what’s wrong?” You rushed to her, attracting everyone’s attention
You caught Zen’s face from over her shoulder, his eyes wide. Knowing.
“M-MC” Jaehee choked out
“W-What is it?” You asked worriedly taking her trembling hands in yours
“MC” Her voice fell. There was just a moment of silence. Everyone in the room was looking, the outburst had even taken a hold of Saeran’s full attention.
“Zen and I…we’ve done something awful”
You knew what she was suggesting but..no. No you didn’t. No way that’s what she meant you’re just confusing things.
“…What did you do?” You asked cautiously
Sniffling. Endless sniffling. You looked to Zen, who was pale and looked like he was also ready to cry.
“I’m so sorry” He managed to get out before the lump in his throat clogged his vocal cords.
“At the party MC we- we had….” Jaehee couldn’t get the filthy three letter word out of her mouth
You dropped her hands and looked to Zen
“MC I’m so sorry” Zen repeated, his voice shaking even more
Everyone was quiet, waiting for your response
You had none. Just an empty stare and mouth slightly agape, waiting for words to come out of their own accord
Finally they did
“This is a really cruel joke to play” You feigned a very obvious forced smile as your eyes blinked back tears “I never thought you guys would do such a thing..haha” You wiped a way a small drop ready to roll down your cheek
“MC!” Jaehee exclaimed “This isn’t-”
“Jaehee.” Your voice dropped. “I really don’t find this funny.”
“Neither do I!” The brown haired girl went to take your hand again but you pulled away
“And Zen” You turned to him “I don’t- I don’t know..how…” You couldn’t finish the sentence
They were everywhere. Pouring down your face, flooding your eyes, gathering in a small pool at your chin. It was an onslaught of tears rolling down your cheeks, choking your words, your thoughts, your everything.
“MC” Zen reached out to you, only to have his hand swatted away by yours.
You just stared at him and cried, forcing him to look you in the eyes as your faux smile fell to pieces.
You felt a hand softly fall upon your shoulder, and you turned to see Seven looking at you, apologetic pity in his eyes. Saeran stood behind him, wearing an angrier version of his twin’s sentiment.
“Let’s go for a ride, get some fresh air, huh MC?” The red head’s voice was soft
You softly nodded and let him guide you towards the door, not even able to muster up to energy to look back at Jaehee and Zen.
Saeran did however, and he looked back towards the two with a face full of disgust, up until the moment he slammed the door
“what a good meeting” Jumin grumbled under his breath as he turned a disdainful eye towards Zen
You drove for a couple hours probably. Most of it in silence, but a comfortable one. You were in the passenger seat and Saeran was in the back, Seven at the wheel finding desolate roads and flying down them, giving the wind of your open window some sort of purifying feeling. It stung, but it felt good. Your hair whipped around and the land raced by and you occasionally sobbed but that was ok.
Eventually you found yourself back at the Chois’ place, sitting on the couch, staring at a TV playing a movie that you hadn’t been paying attention to for the last hour. Your mind was elsewhere, wondering what you had done wrong.
You looked at the carton of ice cream in your hand, only doing so because the sight of Saeran setting his own empty one on the coffee table had triggered you to remember Seven had given you your own carton to drown your sorrows in.
The redhead had actually gone out to buy more, so it was just you and Saeran on the black leather couch staring at the TV screen.
“Do you want this?” You offered the ice cream to Saeran who’s expression turned from bored to surprised, probably because you’d been silent for the past six hours aside from a sob here and there.
“You don’t want it?”
“I’m not hungry”
He stared at you and the carton for a second, his face unreadable.
He wanted to insist you eat the ice cream, because personally he found it to always make him feel better, but he figured you didn’t want to hear it.
He took the carton from your hands and placed it on the table in front of you two
Silence aside from the noise of the TV.
He cast a glance to you, only to find your eyes on the floor.
“doyou wantalk” You barely understood what he said it was so quiet
“What?” You looked to him
He thought you were asking out of surprise rather than inaudibility and “My therapist…he says that talking things out makes you feel better.” He looked indignant for a moment, likely remembering how stupid he felt when he rejected the idea only to find later that his therapist had been correct
“I…I have nothing to say” Your shell of a voice whispered
Saeran furrowed his brows at you. “Say you hate them”
His voice raised a bit “You hate them don’t you? So say it. The therapist said talk about your feelings so start there. They’re scumbags who hurt you and deser-”
“No!” You’re voice hit a volume it hadn’t reached in hours. “I don’t hate them!”
Saeran was mixed with confusion and anger “What do you mean you don’t hate them? One of your best friends and your boyfriend fucked-”
There it was
Someone finally said it.
The hot tears made a return and began rolling down your cheeks as sudden sobs erupted from your mouth
Saeran was alarmed at the sudden show and tried to pinpoint the trigger. He supposes it could be his last sentence but it’s not as if it wasn’t something we all knew.
“I….I don’t hate them” You cried once the worst of the sobs subsided.”I don’t even think I want to hate them. I mean it’d be easier but…I don’t. Jaehee…it’s not her fault. She just..got wrapped up in it all. And she’s always liked Zen. How could she have said no. And he..he was drunk” You sputtered out your rationalizations to find that they only annoyed Saeran
“The Assistant should still no better. But fine. You know what? She’s not dating you, and clearly she triggered you finding out the truth. So let’s pretend she’s ok? What about the actor? I don’t care that he was drunk. There’s no excuse for him doing that!” The white haired boys voice had become louder and louder, fists clenching tighter and tighter as he began riling up old feelings of betrayal he once felt. “He abandoned you! He left you in the dust and for what? He failed you!”
You don’t know when it happened but Saeran had turned towards you and grabbed your hands, squeezing them tight in between his own. His mouth was contorted into some sort of snarl and you saw a fire raging behind his minty eyes.
“Saeran..you’re hurting my hands” You squeaked out.
Your small voice dragged him out of whatever memory he was reliving and he sort of faded back into reality with a few blinks of his eyes before turning his attention to his hands. He let go of yours and in a flat voice uttered a “sorry”.
You guys were silent again, just staring at the floor, both living in whatever sad memory chose to cross your brains.
“You deserve better is all” He finally said.
“I know” You replied, voice empty of any real feeling.
You looked up, staring at the TV but not actually watching as a man on a horse offered a hand towards a young woman. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. About the him I fell in love with. Is he really gone?”
Saeran followed your gaze to the TV, looking on as the girl hopped on the horse. “I think so. That’s assuming he was the guy you thought he was at any point.”
“He was.” You said, a little defensive. Saeran looked towards you, watching your emotionless expression, knowing that there was a storm underneath despite the calm appearance. He knew because he often did the same, rocking a stoic appearance while watching all hell break loose in his own head.
“Is this the part where I say ‘It gets better’?”
“Do you believe that it does?”
“Not a fuckin’ chance” A bitter smirk twisted his lips
“I appreciate the honesty” You sighed
“Not in the way that we think it will anyway” He looked off into space somewhere.
“Hm?” You turned to him
“Everyone imagines that one day soon they’re going to wake up and suddenly it’s not going to hurt anymore. That there’s gonna be a day when you don’t think about this. You’re always gonna think about it. You’re always gonna wonder what you did wrong. Why God hates you. What things would be like if it didn’t happen.”
“You don’t think that there can be a day when it all feels ok?” You ask, partially to heal your hopeless heart, and partially because you see Saeran is projecting his own feelings and you’re curious to know how he feels.
“Maybe. I haven’t hit it yet though. Doubt I will.”
You stared as he looked off into the distance, feeling as if you could see the scenes of his past playing in his eyes.
You were just about to recede back into your ball of depression and hopelessness before he spoke again and took your attention
“But that’s me. You’re…you, MC” your questioning look prompted him to continue “You’re…a good person.”
“You are to-” You went to say but he cut you off by turning and leaning towards you with a new intensity in his face.
“Not like you. If at all” He scoffed. “ You though, everyone loves you. And they’re right too. Because…” suddenly he stopped himself, seeming to turn a little shy.
“Because?” You wanted, no, needed to hear this.
He gulped down his fear and turned his eyes to the side, unable to look at you as he delivered his next few words, scared of you seeing through him even more than you usually do.
“MC, you’re..everything. You’re smart, you’re cute, and you’re …kind. You always know what to say to help everyone. And that’s the thing. You try to help people, even people trying to hurt you…” His eyes turned back to you “You saw a good in me even when I didn’t. You risked your life to help my brother to save me. You’re…kind of like an angel.”
You just stared, taken aback by such kind words, from Saeran of all people.
You were right to be surprised, he wasn’t usually this smooth in conveying his feelings verbally…there must have just been something about you that made it easy for him to talk.
“If it gets better for anyone, it’ll be for you, MC” He reached for your hand out of instinct, but pulled back instantly when your skin touched, as if he just realized what he was doing. His eyes did the same, it looked like he just realized how vulnerable he was in that moment, and a sort of wall was raised behind his irises and his whole body tensed a bit.
He was scared of being rejected.
Your hand slowly reached out to his, which was floating in the space between you two, and when he didn’t pull back, you interlaced your fingers together.
A look of awe decorated both of your faces.
“Thank you…Saeran.” The light of the TV bounced off your wet eyes, making them look extra glossy.
The boy just looked at you, wide eyed, apprehensive for a moment, then nodded and tightened his grip on your hand. It wasn’t the same anger induced bear trap grip from when he grabbed them before. Now it was just firm, reassuring, like a hug.
“MC…things will get better for you. If not? I’ll make them.” He gave a subtle squeeze of the hand, giving you the nostalgic feeling of a pinky promise.
“You already did.” You let your head, heavy from spinning and sobbing all day, fall on his shoulder.
He just looked at you for a moment, before taking a deep breath a pulling you closer, his free hand rubbing your back gently.
Named after: The fact that I mentioned readers birthday so much. That and I was listening to the blues.
It was a Saturday. It was the day of the championship game for baseball. But most importantly, it was your birthday.
You had let this small fact take a back seat in weeks leading up to the game, you didn’t want to stress Jeff out. Your boyfriend was already spending more time with Clay to get tutoring for two more classes just to make sure he’d play. He’d exercise in the early morning before school, go to baseball practice after, study and do homework with the smaller boy, and then watch his previous games until it was time to repeat.
It had become a routine, and Jeff normally got like this a few days before his games. You’d grown accustomed to it, you would plan to walk to school or ride with your next door neighbor Alex Standall, pack a few extra protein bars and Gatorade to leave in his locker, as well as massage him during his film.
He was…distant but it was okay because he always felt so guilty after, he’d pamper you for the next week.
However, what your boyfriend failed to let you know, was that for the championship, this routine of his was starting two weeks before you expected it. So when you found yourself arriving at school by 3rd period, after waiting 20 minutes for your boyfriend to show up you were more than angry.
But you pushed it aside, silently forgiving your baseball player. You knew Jeff loved the sport he played. For the most part, it was the only thing he felt he was incredible at. So you slowly adjusted to this behavior for the week, eating lunch by yourself because Jeff didn’t initially tell you he was going to the athletic trainer during your lunch period. Nodding as he asked you if you could find another ride home because practice was running late. Walking when you realized all your friends had already left.
It was fine, you knew it wasn’t intentional or malicious, he just really wanted the game to go well. Scouts would be looking at him. More importantly, you knew that once these weeks finished you’d have him all to yourself, starting on your birthday.
You walked through the bleachers wearing Jeff’s home jersey, 30 minutes before the game started. You saved seats for his parents who had already wished you a happy birthday, your parents who were there to support your boyfriend, and your friends who had helped you survive these past two weeks.
You made three posters all with different puns and cheesy jokes that you were sure Jeff would love, ’#1 on the field AND in my heart’ 'No that is not Derek Jeter, it’s Jeff Atkins’ And your personal favorite, ‘Atkins, Homerun counter:__’
You brought a sharpie with you to the game and by the end of it, you had edited that poster at least four times. You screamed so loud during the game you barely had any voice left when the team won.
The student section, along with yourself rushed the field and you watched as your boyfriend and his teammates poured water all over their coach. You smiled, more proud of Jeff than ever. Your two weeks of relationship hell were over and you were going to spend the rest of this Saturday night celebrating him and your birthday.
When you finally got the opportunity to get to Jeff, waiting for his parents and your parents to go first so they could leave, you hugged him as tightly as you could you pecked his lips before asking, “Now what champ?”
He smiled at the abbreviation. He let go holding out a finger signaling he’d get back to you. He left, jogging over to his teammates and a few reporters. You waited. Waited as the captains talked to the reporters who covered the game, waited as he greeted the college scout with a firm handshake, waited as the team filed out.
Jeff was the first one on that field and the last one to leave the dugout. He had all of his stuff in his baseball bag, slung on one shoulder while he wrapped the other arm around your waist.
“We’re going to Bryce’s!” He said smiling as you reached his car.
“W-what?” You asked trying to keep it together.
“Bryce, you know Bryce, he’s throwing a party for the win! You asked, ‘now what’ so that’s what!” He replied placing his stuff in his trunk.
You couldn’t lie, it fucking hurt. He forgot. He forgot your birthday of all days. You understand, it was the championship but the last thing you wanted to do was get drunk with a bunch of rowdy jocks. You and Jeff did that almost every weekend. Before you could say anything, Jeff opened the door for you, kissing your cheek.
“Jeff…” you started your voice nearly breaking. But when he turned to you, with the world in his eyes, ecstatic he had just won, you couldn’t bring yourself to ruin it. So you swallowed the lump in your throat and blinked back your tears as you forced a smile on your face.
“Could you please take me home? I’m not feeling too well.” You said, barely managing to make it through your request.
He nods, rushing back over to the driver’s seat. He grabs your hand, rubbing circles on your skin all the way to your house. His grip tightens as he pulls into your driveway and finally looks over at you.
You avoid his gaze and move to get out.
“So no party?” He asks you.
“No thanks, but go and have fun okay? I’ll see you tomorrow!”
He furrows his eyebrows placing another kiss on your hand before letting you go.
“Thanks, baby girl, I’ll see you tomorrow!”
And with that, he drives off. Once he’s out of sight you finally let the tears stream down your face like they had wanted to for the past two weeks.
You decided not to call anyone to make other plans, you would much rather sulk in your own pity. You had a mix of texts come in through the night that you ignored. Most of them from friends wishing you a happy birthday, and a few from a very drunk Jeff who, for the life of him, couldn’t manage to spell out ‘I love you’. That night you cried yourself to sleep, upset and alone trying to rationalize your boyfriend’s actions.
You woke up early the next morning, making yourself breakfast and planning out your day to make up for the previous. You could have fun by yourself. You ignored whatever Jeff texted you when you got ready, putting on some of your favorite clothes instead. Sorting through looking for your sweatshirt, you heard a knock on your door.
You threw on a t-shirt instead, yelling out 'come in’, as you started to put your hair into a bun.
“Hey, you feeling better? I have the nastiest hangover, so it’s fine if you’re not, we’ll be miserable together” Jeff started.
And you shook your head slightly at first, then you gradually became angrier. You couldn’t care less if Jeff had a hangover. Throughout his whole drunk escapade, it didn’t even occur to him that you were sitting at home, by yourself, on your birthday. He had treated you like shit for two weeks, he didn’t just get to waltz back into your life as though it never happened.
“Your parents let me in on their way out. You weren’t answering my texts so I just thought-” he stopped himself as he watched your expression change.
“What’s wrong?” He asked gently.
“What’s wrong Jeff? What’s wrong? Are you fucking kidding me?” You questioned, raising your voice slightly.
You didn’t plan on getting angry so fast, he just was so oblivious to everything it pissed you off, royally.
Jeff was taken aback. His mouth dropped slightly as he tried to figure out where he went wrong.
“FIRST. You didn’t give me a ride to school with no notice! I had to fucking walk! I was late to class and now I have detention next weekend so thanks!” You stood, now pacing around your room as Jeff took a seat on your bed.
“Baby-” he tried to interrupt.
“I’m not done” You interjected.
You were so upset you missed the completely shocked expression on Jeff’s face. Everything he did wrong in the past two weeks was flooding in all at once.
“Then! You made me eat by myself at lunch when you didn’t tell me you weren’t going to be there!”
“Don’t you dare 'baby girl’ me! Then! You made me walk home! …IT’S AN HOUR WALK JEFF!”
He stood to meet you in all your anger, approaching you slowly.
“You basically ignored me, FOR TWO WEEKS! For fuck sake, Clay saw you more than I did!”
You couldn’t help it. Everything was spiraling in your head and pouring out of your mouth. When Jeff reached you, his hands that normally felt so comforting betrayed him. You wanted nothing more than to scream and yell until he left until he felt the way that you did.
“Y/N, I’m sorry, okay? Please calm down-” he said in the most soothing voice he could figure.
Jeff was scared, to say the least. He had never seen you this angry before.
“CALM. DOWN? YOU’RE NOT SERIOUS!” You screamed back at him pushing against his chest to create some distance between the two of you.
As your voice grew louder, the tears came rolling in again. When they fell down your cheeks Jeff had to fight the urge to wipe them. He felt guilty, he was the sole reason you were so worked up.
“THEN TO TOP IT ALL OFF JEFFREY? YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!”
Jeff could have sworn he felt his heart stop. He knew he had been forgetting something, he just didn’t know it was you. He couldn’t even stutter out a response, he just stood there taking you in.
“I made three fucking posters for you! And I was there for you! Through all this BULLSHIT! I waited after the game! When you did all your interviews, and you met with all the scouts, and you were fucking around with the boys! I let you do whatever the fuck you needed to! And you left me. On my birthday. FOR A FUCKING PARTY!”
You were sobbing at this point and your voice cracked as you screamed at him.
Jeff had tears at the brims of his eyes as well, he had no idea how much he hurt you in the past two weeks.
“A fucking party Jeff…god, you’re such an asshole.” You mumbled, wiping your tears frantically, hoping that they would stop flowing.
Jeff blinked back the tears his eyes before he approached you again. He stood this time, at least two feet away to give you your space. It was the distance that hurt him the most, normally he couldn’t take his hands off of you. Now, he had to watch his first love cry, because of him, and she was too upset to even let him wipe away her tears.
“I’m sorry” he began.
And before you could interrupt him he continued.
“I- I’m so sorry.” He tripped over his own apology as a few tears fell from his eyes. He wiped them quickly, he knew he wasn’t in the position to get emotional when he was the one who hurt you.
“I was such a dick…and I- I fucked up big time…I don’t even fucking deserve you…” he struggled to find the right words that would make this all go away, but unlike your usual insignificant fights, he knew there wasn’t any combination of words that would fix it.
“Lemme make it up to you” he pleaded.
You crossed your arms over each other. Furious and devastated all at once. You wanted him to stay with you for the rest of the day but you also wanted him to get the hell out of your room.
Jeff slowly closed the gap between you two, grabbing at your waist.
“Please. Y/N. Let me fix it.”
He stared at you, searching your eyes waiting for your answer.
“I’ll beg if I have to” he offered up with a sad smile.
You frowned avoiding his eyes, you and Jeff both knew his puppy dog eyes could get you to do anything.
And so Jeff got onto his knees, his hands still at your waist and you finally looked at him.
“Jeff, get up” you muttered.
“Just give me a chance to fix it.” He countered.
You nodded quickly if only to get him off the ground, and he smiled standing to his feet again. He embraced you in what felt like the tightest hug ever.
“I’m really sorry” he mumbled into your hair.
And when he pulled away he was leaving your room.
“Cancel all your plans today, I’ll be back in an hour, I promise this is going to be the best day of your life!” He rambled as he grabbed his keys from your bed.
“Jeff, I don’t want you to le-” you whined. This was the first time he was paying attention to you in a while.
“One hour. If I’m not back……dump me!” He called out as he left your room door.
You sat on your bed, hearing the rumble of his engine begin, and when the sound of his car left your ears you exhaled and leaned back onto your bed. Hopeful for what was in store.