Motherfucking Roadhog Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfuckin Overwatch game bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit God damn created the best character then fucking omnics and shit right Junkers fucking god damn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can’t even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck man Motherfucking Hog you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking his best friend Junkrat I’m very tired No man I’ll just talk about the Overwatch game all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Overwatch game fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Kaplan man he fucked over Roadhog crazy fuck this guy who invented Overwatch I don’t like dying I can’t think of the name of who the fuck Roadhog is All I can think is roadhog what the fuck is the name for Roadhog
we’re superheroes that got drunk last night oh god what’d we do au. that is just what the doctor ordered after a long day of picking up after fucking irma.
Sorry for how long it took me for that one! I hope you’re all good now!
Eggsy wakes up in a bed that’s now his own, hungover and naked, with no memories of what happened the previous night.
That really should worry him more, but compared to the last time he woke up naked and not remembering what led him to such a state, the fact that the house he’s in isn’t burned to the ground is a clear improvement. Whatever happened last night, he did not lose control over his powers and that’s what truly is important.
He’s already on probation and even if Merlin is fair, he really doesn’t want to be dumped back into training.
Luckily, as soon as he gets up, he realises that he still got his brief on and that the rest of his clothing is merely folded on top of the dresser. Obviously, whatever happened last night had nothing to do with flaming on and he won’t get charged with public indecency due to his clothes being burned off.
He dresses as quickly as the fog still in his mind allows him to and silently swears never to drink with Gazelle and Roxy again.
At the thought, he pauses shortly, trying to see if his first clue of what he was up to yesterday will shake loose any more memories, but except for the vague feeling of having been carried at one point, he’s still drawing a blank.
He shrugs before venturing out of the room, but he’s still prepared for a fight on whoever is the owner of the house. At least until he hears a familiar voice from what he assumes is the kitchen and notices the old granny meets serial killer decor.
“Harry?” he calls out, though he is now 98% sure that it is his house.
He’s proven right when the man steps into the corridor barely ten seconds later, his warm smile making Eggsy wonders for a brief moment if maybe some of the butterflies on the walls haven’t snuck out of their cases to run havoc on his stomach. But of course, that’s just the way Harry usually makes him feel.
“Ah Eggsy! I was about to bring you a breakfast tray, but I’m happy we’ll be sharing our meal instead!”
From anyone else, Eggsy would have suspected them to be taking the piss, at least about the tray, but he knows Harry is being entirely honest. He’s just that kind of man and it’s a good thing Eggsy has been in love for a long time, so he doesn’t start to blush like an idiot.
Hangover all but forgotten, he follows Harry to the dining room where the other man helps him into his seat, feeling a little thrill when Harry pushes the chair without any difficulty. He very carefully doesn’t think that Harry would be strong enough to hold him up if he wanted to fuck him against a wall and without even breaking into a sweat.
Not for the first time, he thanks the gods that Harry’s powers are only physical and he cannot read his mind.
“What happened last night?” He asks instead, relieved when Harry chuckles good-naturedly as he takes place in front of him.
“Nothing too bad. Enough to get teased by the community, but not anything that will lose you the public’s sympathy.”
When it’s obvious that Harry isn’t going to say more, he groans in false dejection. “Merlin’s got it all on video and he’s going to blackmail me with it, isn’t he?”
“Blackmail is a bit too strong a word, but yes, that’s the idea.” Harry laughs when Eggsy makes a show of hiding his head into his arms in mock despair and for a glorious moment, Eggsy feels his fingers gently carding through his hair. “There, there, I’m sure it won’t be too bad. And if he does get insufferable, do tell me, I have my own blackmail material on him.”
He sits up again with a happy grin. “My hero!” He’s probably imagining it, but he thinks Harry flushes slightly at his words. “But doesn’t Merlin have stuff on you too?”
“Ah no. You see, with my metabolism, alcohol has no effect on me.”
“Oh, that sucks.” He had never considered what Harry’s super strength and speed meant for his day to day life, but he can’t say he’s surprised either. Of course all powers come with their own side effects, just like he’s never felt cold in his entire life himself.
“It’s not so bad really,” Harry dismisses it without any heat in his words, his hand coming to rest on top of Eggsy’s. “There are many other ways for me to have fun.”
And the thing is, Eggsy isn’t entirely clueless, but he’s never been sure before if he wasn’t projecting his own interest onto Harry, only seeing what he wanted to see.
That is as big as a come on as he’s ever received from anyone and Eggsy would have to be an idiot do ignore it.
“Then you should show me one day, yeah?” And to make sure Harry doesn’t mistake his answer for anything than what it is, he turns his hand so that he can link their fingers together.
“Consider it done,” there is a look of pure delight on Harry’s face and Eggsy has to try very hard to calm himself when his thumb starts stroking the inside of his wrist.
It wouldn’t do for him to burn Harry’s house down before they even so much as kissed after all.
John carefully placed his hand on Kennedy’s back and drew her in closer. She instinctively wove her arm around his neck and smirked as his other hand reached for her own.
The two were so close their noses met, and they could feel each other’s gentle breath against their skin. John wondered if Kennedy could hear his heart, pounding so quickly he thought it might burst from his chest. He leaned forward and kissed her, lightly but passionately. He felt the soft fabric of her dress and the way her fingers trailed along his back.
“MY refrigerator, YOUR refrigerator, PINK REFRIGERATOR!!!!!”
@cloud-king requested Jasper as Betty, buuuuuut since i cant draw Jasper for my life, i thought i’d do the next best thing. Also, im not saying Jasper would work at Ikea, but im totally saying Jasper would work at Ikea.