did i win all the awards

  • Nick: I saw when you did Carpool Karaoke with Harry when you swapped clothes. And you're right, he REALLY pulls stuff of.
  • James: There's nothing that man can't wear. It's so annoying.
  • Nick: When he wins like style awards, fashion awards, and they're all like 'He just looks incredible!' and essentially what he's wearing is a T-shirt and jeans. What they're awarding is his bone structure.
  • James: Yeah. It's just that inner thing which is unquantifiable. Ironically, the very thing he has is the X factor.
  • Nick: I hope he gets jowls. And crows feet.
  • James: Noooo, cause if he gets crows feet he'd pull them off like Jagger, you know what I mean?
  • Nick: UURGH GOD WE HATE HIM!
rogue one “everyone lives” au:
  • chirrut teaching luke about jedi lore and philosophy while baze and han roll their eyes and pound space beers in the background
  • bodhi’s face when leia awards him a medal for bravery

  • cassian and han hating each other until they are forced to tag-team in a cantina brawl

  • k-2so and r2d2 making c3po’s life hell

  • jyn joining the pathfinders under kes’s command

  • cassian and shara bey co-infiltrating imperial facilities

  • baze and chewbacca playing dejarik against one another (because everyone else was too afraid)

  • luke and bodhi bonding over flying junkers

  • jyn telling leia about the time she met bail organa

  • lando introducing chirrut to gambling on bespin (”oh, did i win again” “you have to be cheating” “all is as the force wills it”)

  • chirrut and baze helping leia with her grief over alderaan

  • k-2so also being accepted as a deity among the ewoks (the devil)

  • the members of rogue one watching the destruction of the death star from the med bay
Dad Pun Sentence Starters

Send one to my Muse, or alternatively send  👍and my Muse will say one to you!

“What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
“Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.”
“A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.’”
“Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!”
“How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
“Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.”
“I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.”
“How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.”
“Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.”
“'Wow, you’re a fart smella…I mean smart fella!”
“I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!”
“What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.”
“What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
“How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.”
“Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.”
“I just watched a program about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.”
“Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
“How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.”
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
“Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.”
“Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant”
“Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.”
“Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
“What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.”
“I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.”
“The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
“This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.”
“5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.”
“Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?”“
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
“What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.”
“I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.”
“To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.”
“The rotation of earth really makes my day.”
“I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
“What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
“I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!”
“Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”
“Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.”
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
“I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.”
“Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.”
“I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
“People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”

Acceptance Speech

Summary: (Modern!AU) In which Bucky uses his time on stage at the Oscars to let the world in on a secret he’s been keeping for more than two years.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,217

A/N: Happiest of happy birthdays to my twin, @imaginingbucky . You are a queen and I adore you with every single ounce of my being. I know how much you love award shows, so I hope you enjoy this too.

Originally posted by hothothotgg

Bucky feels like a nervous teenager as he sits in the backseat of a stretch limousine, waiting to arrive at his destination. His hands are clammy, his heart is beating too quickly and he can’t stop tapping his foot on the floor. After six years in the acting business, he shouldn’t feel this way. He’s attended more than his fair share of award shows to know all kinds of techniques to keep any concerns at bay. Yet here he is trying his hardest not to hyperventilate and hold his water bottle without spilling it all over his expensive suit. He’d never hear the end of it from his stylist if he did.

“Looking forward to the show tonight?” Vision asks, momentarily catching Bucky’s gaze in the rear view mirror.

Bucky pulls at the collar of his shirt before shifting slightly. Usually this backseat offers him the comfort he needs, no matter how he’s feeling. Today he might as well be sitting on rocks. “Yeah.”

“You don’t sound it,” Viz observes, as he makes a right turn down a side street. He’s an expert at getting you where you need to go while also avoiding all of the LA traffic. “Is it because you’re up for ‘Best Actor in a Leading Role’?”

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like i understand this is a sports broadcast and fisher is on the team while carrie is obviously not, and i’m not saying nbc should sit around and lament about all of carrie’s achievements during the middle of a hockey game – tho like i wouldn’t complain if they did – but carrie underwood is one of the most successful country music artists of all time. carrie underwood is a 7 time grammy winning artist, a 10 time billboard music award winning artist, 4 time ‘female vocalist of the year’ winner at the CMAs. she’s widely known as the most popular female artist in country music and is responsible for continuing to grow and shape the genre. calling her ‘mrs. mike fisher’ like her only accomplishment in life was marrying a mediocre hockey player who happens to now be the captain of the predators feels bad, scoob. 

And The Oscar Goes To
Also on AO3
Being publicly in the closet means Stiles can’t go to the Academy Awards with who he really wants, but it’s not like he’s going to win so he doesn’t have to worry about slipping up and thanking Derek in his speech… right?

This one is for my OSA (one sentence anon) who keeps cheering me on and motivating me. I wouldn’t have finished this WIP if it wasn’t for you, so thanks dude, whoever you are!

Earlier in his career, Stiles Stilinski had thought that walking one red carpet meant he had walked them all, but this award season had proved that assumption to be totally false. Walking a red carpet when you’ve been nominated for an award at the show was an entirely new experience. Sure, he had been nominated for People’s Choice Awards and more fan-driven ones before, but this year he had finally broken out of the rom-com and buddy comedy genres and into roles that challenged him. And this year, he was walking the red carpet at the Oscar with the chance to win not just one, but two once he entered the building.

Some had called 2016 his breakout year, others had said they knew that he could do it all along, and others still had questioned his ability to take on some of the more serious roles until they saw the films he was starring in. So here he was, at his third Academy Awards, but this time he was nominated instead of just attending. It had been a nerve-wracking award season that had left Stiles with a Golden Globe, a SAG award, and two Critic’s Choice awards, but none of that would hold a candle to this.

“Stiles, you have to move,” Lydia Martin–his agent and manager–said to him, pushing him toward the final reporter along the carpet. “Smile more.”

Stiles resisted the eyeroll that he could feel building; he didn’t want to be on the cover of some trashy tabloid with his eyes rolled back in his head and a caption commenting on his mental instability or an attitude problem. “Stiles! You look great,” Erica Reyes from Access Hollywood said, her voice sweet as syrup and her lips fire-engine red.  

“So do you, Ms. Reyes. Are you sure I can’t convince you to leave your husband and run away with me?” Stiles said with a charming smile. He had gone to UCLA with Erica’s husband Vernon Boyd and they had been, and still were, good friends. Boyd was currently the star wide receiver for the New Orleans Saints and would kick his ass if he were here in that moment.

“Ah ah ah, you know that I’m loyal,” Erica said with a smile. “But what about you? Who are you here with? Have a hot date that you’re hiding somewhere?”

“Of course I do,” Stiles told her. “My dad’s right over there.”

“Oh! Of course he is; he’s your permanent date during award season.” Erica said and then waved. “Hi, Sheriff.”

John Stilinski waved back with a smile, “Aren’t you going to ask me who I’m wearing?”

“I would, but that’s Laura Hale and I need to catch her before she gets inside. She and that hunky artist brother of hers skipped half the reporters already; I can’t let them skip me,” Erica said, giving Stiles a little smile. “It was lovely talking to you Stiles; good luck!”

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Worry

When Harry is so much of an overprotective Dad, he doesn’t even know who he is anymore.

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someone was like ‘can u imagine mark trying to write diss raps on school rappers’ and i just..his diss raps would be like:

  • ‘my hair has gone through more than urs so who do u think u are to talk down to me’
  • ‘listn i have been promoting for a year straight i don’t know what sleep is so don’t say you’re tired of this’
  • 'i may be from canada but i can still be rude…u….ur nose is kinda…small…actually it’s cute ur nose is cute don’t hate me’
  • 'u look like the egg i once tried to fry. but it was still like, a good egg like, this isn’t an insult u just remind me of that egg bc i’m hungry’
  • 'excuse me but did you win the sm mini award for 'child that grows well’ no? yeah i didn’t think so’
  • 'okay but sm let me say 'long ass ride’ on the debut track of my group so who of us do you think is more powerful’
  • 'go ahead and diss me i’m in a group with yuta i’m used to worse’
  • 'okay but like….ur aware ur using this english word incorrectly right? don’t take this the wrong way i’m jus trying to help you improve’
  • 'talk to me when you’ve passed all ur exams even tho u don’t get to sleep and barely have time to attend classes’
BTS Reaction: GF Wins First Award

A/N: This was also requested. Sorry it took a while, the end of the school year is kind of hectic, but we are trying to get all the requests written. Anyways hopefully you enjoy!

How would BTS react to their idol girlfriends group winning their first win? ~ I changed it a bit, but hopefully you still enjoy!

send in a request

Jin:


You and Jin were not public yet. Your relationship was new and the both of you did not want to go public just yet. He knew he couldn’t jump up and run towards you to give you a big kiss. When your name was called as the winner Jin had a strong urge to run to you and give you a hug, but he knew he couldn’t. He clapped in his seat, proud of his girlfriend.

Yoongi:

Yoongi was backstage fresh off performing. The moment he got into the dressing room he shushed everyone as he watched the monitor in the room. He was so proud of you, knowing what you had to go through to get to where you are today. Yoongi had been there since day one. He anxiously waited for the winner to be announced. The moment he heard your name he jumped up and down. The moment you arrived backstage you were greeted by Yoongi’s smile and him ready for a huge embrace

Namjoon:

Unfortunately, Namjoon was not able to attend the award show. He was in the midst of touring. He had been working all day so when he got to his hotel room the first thing he did was turning on the tv. He waited and watched. The moment the award you were nominated was being announced he got up. The moment your name was called he was so excited. He fell onto the bed excited. He may not have been there, but you knew he was watching. You received a call after the show from Namjoon, telling you how much he loved you and how proud he was of you.

Hoseok:

Hobi had been anxiously waiting backstage to hear who would be the winner. You and Hobi had been together for a long time, he was there since day one. He saw you at your best and at your worst. He was there when you decided to follow your dream. He was there helping you day in and day out with your singing and your dancing. When the presenter called your name, he couldn’t help but smile. He was proud of his girlfriend.

Jimin:

Jimin and you were not public. Your relationship with Jimin was still pretty new, so both of you knew that any huge interactions would be prohibited. There were rumors of the two of you dating, so everyone was on there toes. When your name was announced as the winner Jimin couldn’t help but smile. As you were giving your speech the camera panned to Jimin. He was smirking at you, the love in his eyes was so prominent.

Taehyung:

The moment your name was called Tae jumped up, forgetting that your relationship was still on the down low. He was too proud and excited that his beautiful girlfriend had finally won her first award. Tae was so happy that after you got off stage he ran to your table and gave you a big kiss, making your relationship public.

Jungkook:

You and Jungkook were very reserved people when it came to your personal life. Which meant you didn’t flaunt your relationship around. The both of you attended the award show, but were seated separately. You had been nervous prior to the award show. You had worked so hard for the past year, Jungkook knew this. So when your name was announced as the winner, the both of you were so excited. You were on stage giving your speech. Jungkook thought the moment needed to be captured so he had to take his phone out and record it.

anonymous asked:

hi im a new shawol!! what are some shinee inside jokes? i only know onew sangtae helP i dont get milk and etc

hi bebs WELCOME TO SHINEE WORLD, i’m your mom now. this got v long with loTS of links so i put it under a read more!
disclaimer: by no means a comprehensive list, i am but one human and i do not own any of the videos, credit is where credit is due!

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List of deaths in volume 4

(Obviously, this post contains spoilers. Like 90% of everything I post. Be warned.)

After I made a friend watch RWBY and told her nobody would die (I know that’s the cruelest thing I ever did I’m so sorry) and of course people died in volume 3 and it kinda hit her (she’s still fucking mad), I made a list of every death in volume 4 so she can be prepared before she watches it. Left out some grimm. Enjoy.

Every death in volume 4 (that came ot my mind)

  • a whole village… men, women, children, all of them (offscreen)
  • actually more than one village
  • some huntsman 
  • some poor farmboy’s sanity
  • whoever used to wax Mercury’s eyebrows (offscreen)
  • Tyrian’s sanity (offscreen)
  • some other parts of Tyrian
  • Ruby’s cloak (offscreen) 
  • Raven’s chance of ever winning a mother of the year award 
  • Qrow’s liver
  • bumblebee, according to black sun shippers
  • black sun, according to bumblebee shippers
  • peace between black sun shippers and bumblebee shippers
  • the sanity of all renora shippers, but I think they’re okay with it
  • Blake, to some of us
  • Sun, to some of us
  • Yang, to some of us
  • Tai, to some of us
  • the FNDM, to many of us
  • Whitley, to all of us
  • all the respect we had for Jaques Schnee
  • all the hate still left for Weiss Schnee you precious girl 
  • Hanzo aka Ren’s father
  • Ren’s mother
  • our sanity                        
  • Kevin, you will be missed  

Imagine a gentle smile appearing on Woozi’s face when he hears you quietly singing a Seventeen song to yourself.

tap that // dylan o'brien

Summary: Dylan & Y/N both find something they’d like to tap

Requested: no, thanks to @void-obriens  for making this gif

Pairing: Dylan & Y/N

Warning: no

Masterlist

A shiver ran through her body as her heels clicked against the pavement. Each step she took led her closer to her final destination, which ultimately meant reaching a warmth that her leather jacket did not provide.

Her two friends were deep in conversation about who they were most excited to meet, while Y/N was focused on finding the lounge her cousin had told her to meet her at.

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I'm just imagining rn

if Cole wins the teen choice awards thingy, he’d have to accept it and give a speech and all. Hopefully along the lines of: ‘wasnt really expecting this. Thank you to the fans for the support, my family, the Riverdale crew for putting the show together and to my girlfriend Lili’ just casually let it slip out. JUST imaGINE that actually happening. If it ever did I think I would spontaneously combust

Originally posted by atasergeynowak

3

Had an amazing time at tonight’s Webby Awards ! Not only did #MTVDecoded win for public service & activism, I had the honor of presenting the night’s final award to the organizers of the Women’s March! Thanks so much for your support & congrats to all of the winners!
dress: @xscapeevenings
headwrap: @fanmdjanm
makeup: @delinamedhin
bag: @vincecamuto
jewelry: @hm

eonline.com
Ed Sheeran Reveals He'll ''Definitely'' Collab With Taylor Swift
E! News spoke to the singer-songwriter on the red carpet

This is music to our ears!

E! News caught up with Ed Sheeran as he walked the 2017 iHeartRadio Music Awards red carpet on Sunday evening in Los Angeles, where he revealed a duet with best friend and fellow pop star Taylor Swift is in the works.

The “Shape of You” singer dished that a collaboration with T. Swift is “definitely” going to happen, though he played coy on any distinct timeline or release date for fans to look forward to. “Certainly in our lifetime,” Sheeran added.

Sheeran, who will perform new music from his latest album Divide onstage at the iHeartRadio Music Awards, has been quite the source of information lately when it comes to Swift’s music career.

“Taylor [Swift] isn’t going to be releasing until probably the end of this year—Christmas is the smartest time to release because that’s when everyone buys records,” he dished during a recent interview with BBC News last week. “So I’ve got a full year of just all Ed, all the time.”

The “Bad Blood” songstress hasn’t released an album since October 2014, when she dropped the Grammy-winning 1989, her fifth major record. Swift did release “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” last December, a duet with Zayn Malik that is featured on the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack.

hi yes remember me???????? i’m back with a list of black females who need more resources so y’all can stop using gross ppl like selena gomez and the hadid sisters. step ur fucking female game up.

  • lauren london — HONESTLY? yall are disrespectful for this woman having absolutely NO resources.
  • cassie ventura — AGAIN!!!! both of these women just starred in a movie in march of 2016. c’mon, now.
  • dascha polanco — AGAIN, THEY ALL THREE STARRED IN THE PERFECT MATCH. also, dascha is afro-dominican. win-win.
  • yaya dacosta — i feel like she has no resources. i’m mad about it. are you?
  • laverne cox — MORE REPRESENTATION 2017
  • solange knowles — i’m…….disgusted. offended. where are the solange resources after all this woman has done for us.
  • janelle monae — THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN IN TWO AWARD WINNING FILMS SHUT UP
  • samira wiley — hello??????/
  • danielle brooks — my queen. my everything. shut up.
  • uzo aduba — MY LIFE.
  • taraji p. henson — QUEEN TARAJI NEEDS MORE RESOURCES THANKS SO MUCH
  • octavia spencer — i genuinely would like to see more octavias out here.
  • keke palmer — she does have resources, but not enough.
  • logan browning — did we………did we forget about dear logan?
  • vanessa morgan — YALL BEEN SLEEPING ON VANESSA FOR YEARS AND ITS TIME YALL STOPPED.
  • raye boyce — a make up artist. a queen.
  • anaya roderick/theanayal8ter — not only did she have vine videos, but she has a whole ass youtube channel. stop playing with me.
  • joan smalls — a woman.
  • jourdan dunn — another amazing woman.
  • jasmine tookes — more woman. fucc a k*ndall!!!
  • maria borges — A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO IS AMAZING
  • chanel iman — ARE YALL EVEN TRYING AT THIS POINT G????
  • miracle watts — i can assure yall, resources can be made for this woman.
  • yaris sanchez — want a model who is also an Art Queen? use yaris!
  • sza — its a shame that yall are ignoring wonderful women in favor of trAsh!
  • candice patton — i dont really see resources for her. hm. wonder why.
  • kylie bunbury — SHE IS LITERALLY SO BEAUTIFUL PLS.
  • nicole beharie — again……..yall zont even look.
  • simone missick — yall truly dont look.
  • tae heckard — i feel like yall forgot about this gem.
  • sherise cromwell/th*inkreese  — she is mixed with black, and also has the videos for resources.
  • mila j — we remember jhene, but not mila. tragic.
  • kali uchis — shes not black but she needs resources, i just wanted to slide that in here real quick. thanks, b.

and i’m missing PLENTY more women, rest assured. but like i said, i’m so??? sick of seeing the same fucking face claims that yall use as your ugly ass tokens when theres a sea full of beautiful and amazingly underused women with not a single goddamned resource on this damn hell site. yall yelp for diversity all this other shit but never wanna actually put forth any effort. step it up 2017, folks!!!

Harry Looks Better Than Me in Short Shorts

Let’s get started.

If I’m not mistaken, this started it all.  I mean, what the hell Harry, they weren’t short enough so you had to roll them?  I’m not complaining though.  In fact, good idea.  Great idea.  Do it again.

He did it again.  I don’t even know what this outfit is.  All I know is I love it and he should probably wear it again.  Keep rolling your shorts. And keep letting the butterfly and birds fly free.  Please and thank you.

He rolled them again.  I approve. And also I’m jealous of his legs.

Right about now is where I tend to black out because yellow shorts.

Everything’s blurry.  I can barely see.

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Sidgeno Actor AU anon fic

(A wonderful little fic I’m posting for an author who’d like to remain anonymous!! This is NOT written by me! Please read this it’s so cute and I love it to death)


The first time Geno sees Sidney Crosby he’s crying into Tanger’s shoulder as Sid learns how to walk again on the big screen.

Tanger scoffs and pushes him off as Sid takes his first step after a year and a half in a wheelchair and the woman sitting in front of them shushes them.

When the lights come on Geno is wiping his eyes and Tanger is rolling his.

“You know I’m fine with you showing emotion,” Tanger says as they file out of the theater. “But could you maybe not do it on my sweater.”

“You not cry. Heartless.” Geno sniffles.

“I’m not heartless, I just know the difference between reality and fiction.”

Geno slaps his hand against the movie poster hanging on the wall outside of the theater and Tanger smiles apologetically at the couples walking past them. “Is based on true story,” Geno says as he taps the small text right beneath the title. “Reality. He can’t walk after car accident. Lose everything. Can’t play hockey. Work so hard and comes back. Scores game winning goal. No heart.”

“You have too much heart. You cried last week at that movie where the dog died.”

Geno chases after him through the lobby. “You cry too.”

“Dogs are different.” Tanger pushes his way through the front doors and doesn’t hold them for Geno. “Everyone cries over dogs.”

“Fine, fine. But he good actor, right?”

“Oh yeah. Sid’s pretty good.”

“Pretty good. He great.”

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