did i saw what i just saw

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

anonymous asked:

Omg Mimi, did you saw the photo Jimin laying on rainbow unicorn and Junkook is laying on top of him. I'm soft. If this ain't pure love

OMG (WHAT THE … IT IS JUNGKOOK IN JIMIN’S LAP?)

I SAW (LOOK AT THEIR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE)

IT (DON’T GIVE ME THOSE INNOCENT EYES YOU TWO!)

AND (I WILL JUST SHOOT MYSELF AND BE RIGHT BACK)

 I AM (I AM NAMJOON, NAMJOON IS US + LOOK, THEY ARE WEARING COUPLE BRACELETS!!)

SCREAMING  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DEAD*

They were GLUED to one another

AND THE GRAND FINALE. RIP

Guys My Age (2)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 4K

Warnings: SMUT. NSFW gifs. 

Summary: You’re playing truth or dare with the Avengers when Nat asks you when the last time you got laid was  and Sam dares you to pick a song that perfectly grasps why you haven’t had sex in so long.

A/N: Enjoy the smot. And please use protection people. Better safe than surprised. I think this is dirtiest fic I’ve written so far.

Permanent tag list: @meganlane84

Part 1 Part 3

Keep reading

Scenes i just cannot get over:
  • This iconic scene: When richie tozier, a 13 year old boy, was forced to face his BIGGEST fear about to murder him and the entirety of his friends, what did he do? He grabbed eddie’s head, turned it to him, comforted him to make sure 1. he was the last thing that eddie saw before their deaths, and 2. eddie didn’t die w/ the clown being the last thing he saw. Mere friendship? I think not. 
  • if this shot doesn’t convince you that reddie is as real as it could get, you’re lying to yourself. This specific angle, this specific structure of the scene just screams reddie. In this moment, possibly one of the most beautiful and important moments of the entire movie, richie tozier and eddie kapsbrak are holding hands- the LOS(V)ER cast being in the middle. This scene was included on purpose, since no scene is without one. just such beautiful babies
  • Eddie kapsbrak. buying ice cream. for himself. and none other. than one. richie tozier. on a. 4th. of july. parade. that spells gay.
  • CLOWN ROOM. richie tozier was lured into a room full of his biggest fear by eddie kapsbrak. Necessary background info: pennywise, a murderous monster who feeds off of children’s fears, used georgie to lure bill in the basement/neibolt house- since it was bill’s greatest fear to face his guilt and grief over georgie. what does this mean for richie, when HE VOLUNTARILY, WITHOUT EVEN THINKING, RAN INTO THE MYSTERIOUS AS FUCK ROOM IN A NEIBOLT HOUSE JUST BECAUSE HE SAW/HEARD EDDIE GIGGLING IN THERE? AND WHY DID PENNYWISE INTENTIONALLY CHOSE EDDIE AS A BAIT TO LURE HIM IN? HM? ya i think i made myself clear.

  • The projector scene, where 1.richie tozier was the first to realize eddie kapsbrak having a mild panic/asthma attack; and 2. instinctively pulled eddie kapsbrak towards himself as soon as pennywise became a physical threat to their safety. richie tozier literally fucking pulled eddie kapsbrak into his arms. in to his arms. i speak no more.
Friendly reminder

When Junko tried to kill Izuru

He stepped on her like stepping on trash

When Mukuro tried to kill Izuru

He bitch slapped her as if she was a small fly

When “this guy” tried to kill Izuru

This’s what “this guy” got (look hurt af and he died. Not Izuru’s faul tho)

When Komaeda tried to kill Izuru

Originally posted by dazthedazzler

Originally posted by ultimate-introvert

*gently put hand around Ko’s waist*

*gently took Ko’s gun*

*whispered to him*

Shot through Komaeda’s heart

See the difference  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

*Edit: Komaeda said he loved Hinata’s sleeping hope, didn’t he? Izuru’s (former) SHSL Hope and he’s “sleeping” inside Hinata at that moment. It makes sense now.

Right to Left ples.

based on this post

Snacks and Roses || Peter Parker Imagine

Paring: Peter Parker x reader

Word Count: 1607

Request: nah homie

A/N: i didn’t proof read it, I’m sorry. And sorry if you’re allergic to roses

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark

Y/N sat with Liz in the lunchroom , hearing their friends talking about Spider-Man once again. “He brings hope to the city. It’s like, we know that someone is looking out for us.” One of them said. Y/N thought about all the things the man has done for the city. I wonder if his life is good, if he’s happy in his real life, Y/N thought.

The topic was quickly changed when an announcement for Homecoming was made over the blaring intercom. “Students, don’t forget to buy your tickets for Homecoming next Friday.” The voice boomed, making all of the students start talking about the event.

Liz turned to Y/N, “So,” she said taking a bite from her food, “who are you going to the dance with?” All of their friends tuned in to what the two girls were saying.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. She wanted to go with Peter Parker, the smartest kid at Midtown High, if she went in the first place. Homecoming is going to be crowded and loud, with a bunch of annoying kids. Y/N didn’t want that. “I don’t think I’m going, actually. I’m probably gonna spend my night watching TV or something.” Y/N said, shaking her head like it was nothing.

“But Y/N,” one of her friends said enthusiastically, “You have to go! Peter is probably going, you should too!” She nodded her head behind Y/N. Y/N looked behind her to see Peter and Ned eating their lunch a few tables away. But he’s going to be dancing and hanging out with a girl that isn’t me, she thought.

Y/N smiled, “As much as I would love to go with him, it’s not gonna happen. He’s probably taking a super pretty girl with him and he’ll have a blast. Just,” she trailed off, starting to get quieter,“just not with me.” Y/N sighed, slumping her shoulders. Liz looked over at her giving her a sympathetic smile. “If you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. It would be nice if you went though.”

Y/N returned the smile, “Thanks for understanding Liz.” Liz nodded her head, “Anytime.” She gave her attention back to her friends to hear the rest of their thoughts.

Peter Parker sat a few tables away, having the same conversation that Y/N was having. “Are you going to ask her to Homecoming?” Ned asked Peter looked at his friend as if he was crazy. “W-What? No. Never. I can barely form a sentence around her, let alone ask her out.” Peter said as he gazed down at his lap. He looked back up to her, admiring her from behind. Y/N turned around and Peter quickly looked away and muttered “Oh God.”

Ned looked confused at the teenager. Peter’s face was beet red, “I think she saw me. Oh God,oh God, she saw me staring at her man.”

Ned looked over at the girl who was now facing her friends talking. “I don’t think she did. Just breathe, she probably didn’t see. I mean you turned your head so fast that you might have whiplash.” He chuckled. Peter sighed, “Maybe you’re right.”

“Right about what?” Michelle asked as she reached the table with the two boys.

“Well, I asked Peter if he was asking Y/N to the dance and he started staring at her. She turned around and might’ve caught him.” Ned explained to the Michelle as she sat down. Peter hit Ned’s shoulder with the back of his hand, “Dude. Seriously?”

“What?” Ned asked, completely clueless at Peter’s new beacon of embarrassment. Before their bickering cold continue, Michelle started talking. “Actually, while I was walking over here, I heard that she wasn’t going. And I might’ve heard,” she stated trying to be dramatic, “that she was super bummed out that you were probably going with a different girl that isn’t her.”

Peter sat shocked. “You’re lying.” He said. There is no way that the girl he has had a crush on for years, is into him. Him of all people.

“I wouldn’t lie about true love, Parker.” Michelle replied, kind of mockingly.

“How are you going to ask her?” Ned asked. Peter was messing with the cuffs of her sleeves. “I-I don’t think I will.”

Ned looked shocked. “You have to. You finally have a chance to be with her.” Peter looked around, “I’m too scared. Besides, she said she didn’t want to go and I respect that.”

“Your loss,” Michelle said opening one of her books.

It was the Friday night of Homecoming and Y/N sat on her couch surrounded by her fluffy blankets, with a show paused on the TV screen and a water bottle in hand. She was on her phone talking to Liz, giving some advice for her outfit. “Should I wear the silver earrings I got for my birthday?” Liz asked. “Yeah, they match your dress very well.” Y/N replied, taking a sip of her drink.

“Y/N are you sure you don’t want to go? I might have an extra dress.” Liz asked, she didn’t want her friend to be alone while everyone else was having a blast.

“Yeah I’m sure. I’m fine with my TV shows and blankets. Go have fun!” Y/N stated, assuring the girl that everything would be fine. “You sure?” Liz asked, wanting to make sure her friend was okay.

“100%.” Y/N replied with a smile on her fave that she knew Liz couldn’t see. “Alright, I have to go. My date is here. If you need anything call me.” Liz said, while Y/N heard shuffling in the background. “See you later Ms. Allen.” Y/N said chuckling to herself. “You too.”

Y/N sat on the cuddled into her blankets as she clicked play on her TV remote. As soon as the show started, there was knock on the front door. Y/N was confused, was it Liz? She got up to answer the door.

Y/N opened the door, do just her body was seen. She was greeted with the smiling yet nervous face of Peter Parker, holding a bouquet of red roses with a backpack on his back and a couple grocery bags filled with chips, candy and other snacks. Y/N stood in front of him, lips parted slightly.

“P-Peter. What are you doing here?” She asked with wide eyes. Peter glanced down at his old shoes. “I heard that you were, uh,” he looked back up at her, “I heard you were spending the night in on-on Homecoming so, I wanted to join you. If that’s okay.” He stammered biting his bottom lip.

Y/N smiled widely, opening the door all the way. “Come on in.” If it was anyone else at the door, she would’ve probably made up an excuse. But it wasn’t anyone else, it was her crush. Peter smiled back. He walked through the door, waiting for her to indicate where he could go.

Y/N shut the door and moved to face him. Peter looked at the flowers in his hand, “These are f-for you.” He handed you the flowers.

The girl smiled, “Thanks Pete.” She called me Pete, was all he could think about as Y/N went to put the flowers in a vase. She quickly came back after putting the vase in a good spot.

“You can sit down Peter.” Y/N said as he followed her to the couch.

“Seems like you were having a real party, huh?” Peter said sarcastically with a small smile on his lips, seeing the TV and her blankets. “What gave it away?” Y/N replied back with the same amount of sarcasm.

“I brought food.” Peter emptied out the two grocery bags with the snacks onto the couch between the two of them. Y/N smiled. Tonight was going to be fun.

Peter turned and looked at the clock to see it was one in the morning. All night was spent with him and Y/N getting to know each other,cracking jokes, and watching bad late night TV shows. It was like they had known each other for their entire lives. She fell asleep a while ago, her head resting on Peter’s chest, with a blanket wrapped securely around the pair. He sat there, playing with her hair, glad that he skipped Homecoming. Peter sighed contently, looking back up at the TV which now had the news on. A robbery at fifth and third. “Shit,” he muttered, moving Y/N off of his chest and onto the couch.

He dashed out her front door with only his backpack in hand, with his Spider-Man suit inside.

Y/N woke up 10 the next morning still on the couch, with all the snacks from last night littering the floor. It was fun hanging out with Peter. She was kind of happy that she didn’t spend Homecoming alone. She searched for her phone to check the time. Once she found the device she saw a text from Peter.

Hey, sorry I had to leave. My Aunt called me and said that I had to go back home. Maybe we can do this again sometime at my place?

Y/N smiled at the text. Maybe I can get the guy of my dreams, she thought as she typed a reply.

Yeah, that’d be awesome.

4

i love the despair designs !

Something About Zach Dempsey

Something I wanna point out that I love. Is that when he and clay are outside. When they’re discussing the letter he says “I never threw it away. Hannah lied about that.” Then he stops. And his next sentence immediately back tracks. He nullifies his previous negative statement about Hannah by saying “maybe that’s what she saw, I don’t know. But I never there away that letter.” By saying maybe that’s what she saw he acknowledges her point of view as truthful. Like she’s been truthful the entire time so that’s probably what she saw. He is acknowledging that sometimes people can see something and remember it but it’s not exactly what actually happened. He acknowledges that she was still telling the truth of what she saw. Even if it wasn’t what actually happened, she saw it and that’s what she thought happened so it’s valid. It’s a small thing that’s probably not as big as what I’m making it out to be but to me it’s something huge that allows clay to continue believing her and Zach because he’s not outwardly calling Hannah a liar. I don’t remember Zach ever telling clay she was a liar. And the only time he did he immediately backtracked and made it so he wasn’t accusing her anymore. I’m sorry I just really love that.

BAD: Connor Murphy was a precious angel who deserved better

GOOD: Connor Murphy was mentally ill but that does not excuse his actions, he did some harmful things and should still be held accountable for his mistakes.

BAD: Connor Murphy is just an asshole that abused Evan.

GOOD: Connor Murphy lashed out as a result of undiagnosed and untreated mental illnesses and likely felt very out of control of his own life and actions.

The Group Project

(Jimin is jealous when his best friend and roommate, Taehyung, has a date with the girl Jimin has a crush on.)

Warning: 8000 words and 75% of this is pure smut. MMF sex.  Dirty talking.  Disrespectful name calling.   The usual.


“Fuck you, Kim Taehyung! FUCK! YOU!”  Jimin was livid.  “I’ve never said a single thing to you about all the shit I have to put up with as your roommate!  All the times I’ve had to crash at a friend’s place because you brought some girl back to our dorm room for the night!  I can’t remember the last time I spent a whole week able to sleep in my own bed because of you!  And all those times I woke up to find some chick I don’t know in your bed?  Like you couldn’t just go somewhere else to fuck them? Did you really have to screw them in our room while I was asleep?”  Taehyung opened his mouth to answer, but Jimin cut him off.  “And I wasn’t even asleep for all of them!  What was that one girls name? The one with the short hair? Jungin? Jungah?  Just because you took her into our bathroom to have her suck your dick doesn’t mean I didn’t hear EVERY FUCKING THING that happened in there!  You are so fucking vile!  The things you said to that girl… the sound of her choking on your dick while you called her a slut?  What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“Some girls like that shit,” Taehyung replied calmly.  “She definitely liked it, that’s for sure.”

Jimin rolled his eyes dismissively.  “The point is that I’ve never said anything to you about how you’ve stuck your dick in half the women on campus.  Despite the fact that you are always inconveniencing me in order to get your rocks off, I’ve kept my mouth shut.  It’s your life and it’s not really any of my business.  But this is TOO FUCKING MUCH!  I thought we were friends?  I never thought you would totally screw me over like this!”

“We are friends!  I didn’t do this to screw you over.” Taehyung and Jimin had been randomly assigned to be roommates in their small single room dorm room their freshman year and immediately became the best of friends.  Taehyung was on a scholarship that paid for his student housing on campus and Jimin couldn’t imagine living with anyone other than Taehyung, so despite the cramped quarters and the arguments frequently caused by the lack of privacy, they continued living together in the dormitory.

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