did i ruin this joke

  • BBC: Okay. The Phandom really wants new footage of HHH and LLL. What do we do?
  • Intern: Um maybe just completely scrap Phan?
  • BBC: Excuse me
  • Intern: And uh. You know how Jack and Dean are coming?
  • BBC: Where tf are you going with this
  • Intern: Well...Phean?
  • BBC:
  • Intern:
  • BBC:
  • Intern:
  • BBC: Holy shit promote this man we got a new angle.
You’re the worst (part 1)

(Murphy x reader, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, y/n is salty af in the beginning, canon-divergent, tell me what you guys think!! Also it’s a bit long sorry) (warning: explicit language)

“Fuck you.”

”Oh you wish, sweetheart,” the boy sitting across from you spat.

“I just don’t understand how you manage to be such an asshole,” Okay not your best comeback, but it was better than letting him win.

 “Hard work and determination,” he grinned back in that sure of himself sort of way that just made you want to punch him in the face. Well, more than you usually do at least.

 “Whatever Johnathan.”

You casually looked away as you said it, trying to rest your eyes on anything but the glare you could feel burning onto your skin.

Keep reading

Midnight Snacks- Bucky Barnes X Reader

Prompt: You can’t sleep and get up to have a midnight snack, Bucky also happens to want a midnight snack and ends up scaring the crap out of you on his way to get his desired snack.

Word Count: 1226

Warnings: None (:

You were laying flat on your back, your eyes tracing shapes along the ceiling, blankets strewn all over the floor and bed. The night outside was cold and bustling with the sounds of New York life. Bucky’s breathing was even and soft in the space next to you, your breaths intertwined with the minutes that ticked away on your bedside clock. You continued to stare at the ceiling, your mind meandering through scenarios and thoughts about the future. Not ten minutes later, your stomach let out a menacing growl, and you noticed your were suddenly ravenous. You rolled out of bed, your body heavy with fatigue; and despite the fact you had been lying awake, sleep was unable to tame your overactive mind. You trudged down the stairs and into the dark kitchen, switching on the lights, your eyes blinking in the sudden brightness. You padded over to the fridge, searching for a suitable snack. There were a plethora of items in the fridge, some cold pizza from dinner a few nights ago, fruit, leftover pasta, some meatballs, and chicken. You sighed, nothing in the fridge seeming to grab your attention. You then moved to the cabinets, peeking over the crackers and cans of soup until you found what you were looking for. You pulled a packet of hot chocolate mix from the box and filled a mug with milk, microwaved it, mixed in the packet and topped it with marshmallows and whipped cream. After the hot chocolate was done, you grabbed a few cookies from a tub on the counter. You smiled at your culinary creation, and padded over to the living room. As you turned around to come out of the kitchen you noticed a dark figure standing just outside the pool of light coming fromt the kitchen, near the base of the stairs. Your heart leapt into your throat and your breathing halted.You screamed and launched the mug of steaming liquid in the general direction of the dark figure and let the plate of cookies clatter to the ground.

“Holy shit that is hot, goddamit,” The figure hissed, hopping around, trying to avoid the scalding liquid and broken glass on the floor.

“Bucky?” you asked, switching on the lights and seeing your boyfriend jumping from foot to foot, his gray sweats splattered with hot chocolate.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he assured, stepping over the shards of the broken mug on the floor.

“What the hell were you doing creeping around in the dark, I almost just died of a heart attack,” you scolded. Bucky shrugged and skirted around the mess, slipping into the kitchen to find a broom and dustpan. You followed him, your heart still thundering against your ribs.

“But seriously, you really should make more noise while you creep around in the shadows at two A.M.,” You pointed out.

“Sorry doll, I guess my master assassin skills just kicked in, it’s not my fault I’m incredibly good at creeping around,” he smiled, putting finger quotes around the word creeping. You sighed and went back into the living room to sweep up the glass and mop up the sticky hot chocolate.

“What were you doing coming down here anyway?” You asked, bending down the pick up some glass.

“I woke up hungry and noticed that you were missing, so I came downstairs and saw the kitchen lights on right as you turned around and tossed a vat of flaming hot liquid at me,” he explained, wiping up a puddle of hot chocolate off the floor. You smiled at his account of the story and dumped your dustpan into the trashcan. After the mess was cleaned up you went back into the kitchen to re-make your midnight snack. You were pulling a mug out of the cabinet when Bucky came up behind you, snaking his arms snugly around your waist, lifting you up off the ground slightly.

“Here doll, let me, after all, I did ruin your last one,” Bucky offered, setting you aside to reach up and grab a second mug from cabinet. As he reached up his shirt rose, the skin exposed just above his hip catching your attention, you smiled and drifted your finger around the exposed skin. Bucky let out a giggle and almost dropped the mug, you smiled slyly and grabbed the milk from the fridge, filling each cup as Bucky retrieved the packets of mix from the pantry. As Bucky watched your mugs spin in circles in the mircowave, you fetched the toppings for your hot chocolate. You pulled each mug from the mircrowave, dropping exactly six marshmallows in each cup, next you swirled a healthy dose of whipped cream on each and drizzled chocolate syrup on both as a finish. Bucky took his and yours, heading toward the couch, you grabbed a few cookies on your way out of the kitchen. You nestled yourself next to Bucky, pulling a blanket over yourself. You began sipping your hot chocolate as Bucky switched on the TV. You looked over at him to find hip licking whipped cream off his lip, smiling lightly as he struggled to get it all. You smiled back and offered him a cookie, but snatched it back and took a huge bite out of it just as he reached for it. His mouth dropped open in surprise as you smiled deviously and munched on the cookie.

“Well that was rude,” Bucky exclaimed, turning away from you, giving his attention back to the TV.

“Well so was sneaking up on me and making me drop my midnight snack and go into cardiac arrest,” you argued, taking another sip of your hot drink.

“Pfft, you did not drop it, you threw it at me,” Bucky pointed out, snatching a cookie from your plate and smiling at you through a full mouth.

“Whatever,” you huffed, leaning your head on Bucky’s shoulder as the TV played monotonously in the backgroud. After another half hour your cups were empty and your stomachs were full and heavy. You inhaled, snuggling closer to Bucky as he pulled the blanket tighter to your bodies.

“You ok doll?” he asked as you sighed.

“Yeah, fine, just tired is all,” you admitted.

“Then go to sleep, I’ll still be here when you wake up,” he promised.

“Well I know that, silly,” You scoffed, tracing shapes into his arm that was snugly wrapped around your midsection.

“Then why are you so restless?” he prodded, running his cool metallic fingers through your already tousled hair.

“I don’t know, I’ve just learned to take it as it comes, some days are better than others, but usually my restlessness isn’t something a little midnight snack can fix,” You yawned, sleep just out of reach for your tired body.
“Well I guess I ruined that,” Bucky trailed off.

“Yeah you did,” You joked. Bucky chuckled and went back to running his fingers through your hair.

“Just close your eyes and relax,” Bucky advised.

“You don’t think I’ve tried that?” you sighed.

“Just do it,” Bucky pushed. You followed his directions, focusing on his shallow breathing and the rhythmic motion of this hands in your hair.

“See doll, isn’t that better,” Bucky cooed, but his words were lost on you. You were already fast asleep, small snores leaving your slightly parted lips. Bucky stared, his attention caught on you and only you. He smiled, glad he had come down to join you for your midnight snack tonight.

Other Imagines by me




I would like to introduce to you all “What Should Have Happened in Big Hero 6, But Didn’t”. I might just turn this into a little short series now since I had so much fun editing this! 

This first one is what I would appropriately call “Warning Label” because Tadashi is so amazing/awesome/dreamy within the first 0.002 seconds of when he appeared in the film, I felt like it was necessary to add one for him as well as for everyone who hasn’t seen the movie yet. 

This was literally my first thought

@joanatiagoartsanddoodles in this post

What if Mabel’s bubble is not a prison? What if it is… an incubator?

In which Mabel really becames the God of Destruction. I don’t know, just go with it.

W̳̖̜̹̼͇͡O̹ͅU̢L̡̠̠D͇͇̬ ҉̜̭͙̲̣̻Y͏̥̙̝̖̱O͈̖͎̹͓͝Ų̤ ̴̼͍L̨I̹̥͖̣̬͡ͅK̢̟͔̟͈̱̖̳E̼ ̩̯͖̳͟T͖̞̝O͏͈̰̤ M҉̘̮͙͍̖͎ͅA̬K̕E͈̺͓ ̨͔̞͎̠͓̫A̜̖̜ ͏̠̘͓͎͉̹̞DE͢A̴L̞̖̪̥͕?̘