did i mention funny

anonymous asked:

how old are you? Sorry if you've been asked this before...

I’m 18!! :33

so in golion their names were metals and I kinda wish they would’ve kept them

Reasons to watch Leverage

Eliot Spencer

Eliot Spencer

eLIOT MOTHERFUCKING SPENCER

Ahem. Right.

Also:

- Found family trope, which I will never get tired of in a million years

- You know that post asking for a series with a dark, fucked up, tragic beginning that gradually gets happier when the series progresses? Leverage is basically that. Four out of the five main characters have pasts that range from ‘Mildly sad and lonely’ to ‘Holy shit you’re fucked up’, but the show takes that and then makes them better. There’s no gritty downspiral, no one gets killed for shock value, it’s an action series that’s actually fun. 

- Did I mention it is hilarious? Because it is. Really. Friggin’. Funny.

- Broody man getting called out on his broody man-ness

- Broody man having an awesome ex-wife who has moved on from the divorce, still cares about her ex-husband but is not bitter and also does not get jealous but instead becomes friends with ex-husbands new partner.

- No. Annoying. Love. Triangles. Just one glorious OT3.

- Ladies telling dudes they need more time before embarking on anything romantic and then getting as long as they need without anyone pressuring them into something they’re not ready for.

- Basically: HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

- The resident nerd is not a stereotypical white boi geek, but a rather buff and very attractive black man. You know who is a stereotypical white boi geek? The villain.

- Not only relatable heroes, but relatable villains. I mean, everyone has been screwed over at least once by the type of scumbags portrayed in Leverage, so watching them getting taken for everything they own gives me tingles. Tingles of vindication.

- There’s one episode with two female leads that’s basically ‘Fuck the Bechdel test we’ve got criminals to catch’

But seriously, just go watch it for this glorious goober right here:

i know a lot of us would like to see Holster playing in the NHL one day, but consider this: 

adam “holster” birkholtz, the sassiest goddamn referee in the NHL (after mike leggo, of course)

here is some evidence:

  • he knows the rules, is an excellent skater, and likes to judge people
  • he is a Giant who can break up any and all fights
  • all the danger of an NHL game without the constant fear of being traded
  • his terrible fashion sense can still be represented in this ugly-ass uniform
  • still gets to wear a helmet so no one can see his awful hair cut
  • he still gets to curse, fine, and maintain control over the Sin Bin

he would 100% do this:

it would be really funny if this happened:

in summation, please make Holster a ref in your next fic because it’s A. hilarious and B. probs more realistic and C. DID I MENTION HOW FUCKING FUNNY IT IS

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Hello and welcome to Griffin's amiibo Corner, I'm Griffin and this is the VR Zone, a beautiful virtual world that has proven to be an inescapable tormentor for this amiibo reviewer. It has been 3 weeks since my body and mind were surrendered to the harsh whims of the VR Zone, and I am beginning to worry that I may never see the light of the flesh world sun ever again. My connection to the outside world has been severed, leaving me stranded, adrift in a virtual sea that was designed for in-depth amiibo reviews but not for human survival. As such I have had to salvage the natural resources of this world to satisfy my life requirements, such as this lean-to shelter, which is surprisingly spacious and maybe even a little bit comfortable. This humble hut is home to me, and my only companion in this world; the Toad amiibo, whose paint lines were compromised in an attack on our hut by a swarm of Harvesters, a virtual menace that covets and seeks out foreign matter originating from the flesh world. Though my form is completely virtual I still desire sustenance. Obtaining food has led me to commit unforgivable acts of violence against the wildlife in the VR Zone, but such is the order of things, following a belief system that natives to the VR Zone call "The Great Wheel." My only other company in the VR Zone is the Dark Orb, which silently watches my endeavor to stay alive in this cruel environment. To touch the Dark Orb is to become one with the VR Zone and find peace in its endless quiet expanse, but to do so would betray my oneness and my human agency. Every day I greet the Orb like an old friend and consider its eternal offer. Every day I have refused, but I do not know how long my willpower can hold out, may The Great Wheel sustain me. This morning the Toad amiibo further gave of his body to aid in my survival. He forfeited his near-field communication chip embedded deep inside of his base, to help me attempt to establish a connection with my home terminal using this virtual machine, which is mostly comprised of wood, flesh, and teeth. In defiance of the Dark Orb's will, I will now attempt my escape, using this, my first and final lifeline. It seems to have worked! I can feel my home terminal's emergency protocols activating- wait, oh my god. Oh my god Toad, no. No please wait! Please god! Stop! Toad please! Come to me Toad! Please Toad no...

My college Humanities class had to do a presentation at the end of the semester. I have anxiety and I don’t like all eyes being on me. When the day came for everyone to share with the class I kept waiting and waiting to go. My professor sat behind me and one by one my classmates went, until there was 5 minutes left of class.
My professor said “Okay who wants to be the next victim”, there were three of us left who hadn’t gone and none of us dared to move. After a solid 30 seconds of awkward silence my professor whispers from behind me “Be brave”, so I marched my ass to the front of the room.

Boys Who Talk Shit™

author: internetpistol

YoonMin, TaeKook, NamJin

AO3

College AU

Description: When Yoongi enrolled in BTS (aka Boys who Talk Shit) Boarding School, he wasn’t really expecting to be the only ‘straight’ (to be read sarcastically) guy in a room of seven geniuses (aka children aged five to ten, honestly). Plus four pet spiders. Yes, plural.

Chaotic episodes in A Place of Love and War, where Yoongi learns all about True Love via Park Jimin, Music and Marriage. Sort of. Brain bleach and ear plugs are strongly recommended.

Comments: This story is wonderful.  It is funny, sweet, heart warming, did I mention funny, cracky, and fluffy with a little bit of sexy thrown in.  It about how Yoongi found a second family and home and love along the way, even though he wasn’t looking for it.  A wonderful, wonderful read.

It’s You

Summary: AU where Y/N is the speedster and Barry Allen is the first person you save.

Pairings: Barry Allen x reader

Word count: 3150

A/N: Hi! So, this is something I wrote for a friend and I liked how it turned out so she let me post it here :) I hope you all like it too! (Itโ€™s also the longest thing Iโ€™ve ever written lol).

Masterlist

Keep reading

every descendants interview
  • dove: *says something very meaningful about mal, how it felt to play her*
  • sofia: *says something very meaningful about evie, very graceful and humble*
  • booboo: *says something so cute and so awkward I love him*
  • cameron: carlos only ever wears shorts. you never see him wearing jeans
Chance Encounters ~ (Sirius Black x Reader x Remus Lupin)

(Requested)~  Could you write an imagine where youre really good friends with the marauders but Sirius and remus both have a crush on you and you eventually choose one of them? You can choose who at the end. Thanks!

Hey! Of course! Just FYI in this imagine I didn’t make the reader close friends with the marauders but that’s the only thing I changed.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT!


Originally posted by cute-guysxx

Originally posted by deanthatsnotfunny



Remus strolls down the streets of London, a cup of coffee warming his hands in the cold morning air. Down the street from his usual coffee hangout he sees a large pile of boxes outside an apartment building entrance. Remus notices a young woman bends over to pick up a rather heavy looking box.

“Would you want some help?” Remus asks you, he sets down his coffee by the pile of boxes.

“Actually yeah…that’d be great.” You smile, setting down the heavy box.

Remus takes a second to study your beautiful features. Your (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes pair perfectly with the top you decided to wear that day. He picks up a box labeled decor living room written in neat handwriting. 

“My names (Y/n).” You nod before picking up a box of picture albums.

“I’m Remus.”

The both of you ascend the stairs to your apartment and place the boxes on the floor. Remus smiles awkwardly as you both go back outside for a second round of boxes.

“Since I know moving is pretty stressful, if you don’t have any plans for dinner then would you want to go out tonight?”

“Sounds great. Pick me up ‘round eight o’clock?” You grin, hoisting up a large box against your hip.

“Excellent! I’ll see you at eight then!” Remus beams as he picks up his not as warm cup of coffee.

Remus gives a shy wave and starts his walk down the street to the coffee shop to meet Sirius and James.



Sirius takes a casual stroll to the coffee shop to meet Remus and James, knowing neither would be surprised if he’s late. When he rounds the corner he sees an attractive girl bending over about three large boxes attempting to pick one up. Sirius crosses the street, almost being hit by two passing vehicles, and chuckles lightly making you look up from the box.

“Need an extra set of hands?” Sirius says in a smug tone,”That’s an awful large load.”

“Actually I’ve got this one under control”, you lift up the box with ease, “But if you’d like to help why don’t you grab one those two and follow me.” You walk into the entrance and up the stairs.

Sirius watches you walk away and goes to grab a box labeled books - HEAVY but decides on a box labeled comforters and pillows. He hurries up the stairs to catch up with you.

“So have you lived in London before or are you new here?” Sirius asked.

“New. I haven’t had much time to see the city because I’ve been busy moving.”

“Well…”, Sirius grins,”I have a rather extensive knowledge of the city myself. What’d you say I take you out for dinner tonight and I’ll show you around.”

“That sounds great.” You set the box down when you both reach your apartment. “But I have plans tonight.”

“Oh. I see.” Sirius frowns.

“But I’m free tomorrow. What about seven?”

“Brilliant! I’ll pick you up at seven…”

“Y/n.” You respond.

“Y/n. I’m Sirius.” Sirius sets down the box he’d been holding and shakes your hand lightly. “Welcome to London Y/n.”

With a two finger salute Sirius leaves the apartment in an excellent mood.



“She’s wonderful James! She’s smart and funny and did I mention absolutely gorgeous! The problem is she said she’s also seeing someone else.” Remus grimaces.

“Man mate, that bites.” James takes a sip of coffee.

“I know, I mean I know I only met Y/n a few days ago. But I really like her. She said she’s trying to decide and that she’s really sorry.” Remus mopes.

“Do you have any idea who the other person is?” James questions..

“No idea.” Remus sighs.

Sirius storms into the coffee house and plops down into the large armchair across from the couch James and Remus had been sitting on. He blows his fallen hair out of the way with one big, melodramatic gust of air.

“Something wrong sunshine?” James rolls his eyes at Sirius.

Sirius gives a death glare before answering,”Yes! I went out with this girl last night, she was really hot, it was going great. But at the end of the evening she said that she can’t see me again until she decides between me and this other guy she’s gone out with recently.”

James begins to gain a mischievous expression, looking from Remus to Sirius.

Remus sighs,”Hey Sirius if I was you I would’t be worried, I’d hate to be the poor soul going against you.”

“Thanks mate!” Sirius smiles.

James chuckles slightly under his breath. He stands between Remus and Sirius,”Well I have to go. But before I leave, on the count of three say the girl you’ve been going out with… one, two, three!” James sprints out of the coffee house.

On James’ count of three Remus and Sirius had both said your name. They both where mildly shocked by the name the other had said. Sirius laughs as Remus smirks.

“Well I believe the logical way to look at this is to decide that since I have had less girlfriends then you, all being fairly successful, then I should be the one who gets to take Y/n out.” Remus smiles proudly.

“On the contrary, I am a much better match for her, therefore I should get to take her out.” Sirius says in a harsh tone.

“Um I hear what you’re saying, but I have a great idea.. what about I take her out.” Remus sarcastically expressed.

“I hear what you’re saying bu-”

“This could go on forever.”

“You’re right.”

Remus and Sirius sit in the muffled sounds of the coffee house until Remus jolts up with an idea.

“What about we each go on one more date with her then afterwards she’ll decide who she wants to keep seeing!” Remus beams.

“Brilliant.”

Remus smiles beginning to think out loud,”Oh I could take her to that new French restaurant down on 42nd street. That’ll be perfect.”

Sirius smirks, a devious plan in mind.


“Your table.” The short Parisian man places the menus down on a small, candlelit table.

You smile at the fancy glasses and silverware that compliment the theme of the restaurant. Remus pulls out your chair for you to sit before siting in his own.

“Anything I can get you two to drink?” The waiter asks.

“A brandy for myself and a… whiskey sour for the lady.” Remus smiles across the table to you.

“You read my mind.” You gaze at Remus’s charming grin.

The waiter scribbles this down and then walks off to the bar, leaving the two of you to sit and talk.

“So what do you study?” Remus questions.

“A number of things really. Late 1800′s artwork, photography, journali-” You begin to list your many interests but Remus stops listening when he sees Sirius up front talking to a waiter.

“Y/n! Crazy seeing you here!” Sirius beams maniacally as he reaches your table.

“Sirius?” You smile,”What’re you doing here?”

Sirius pulls up a chair and sits,”I’m waiting to meet a friend from work.”

The fib makes Remus clench his teeth. You notice this and look from Sirius to Remus the tension suddenly is much more noticeable.

“Do you two know each other?” You ask.

“No I don’t know him personally, but you do look familiar… weren’t you the guy in the chlamydia ad in the undergrounds?” Remus smirks at Sirius.

Sirius screeches,”THAT WAS A ONE TIME GIG! I’m not the one who cried when the library stopped carrying Wuthering Heights.”

Remus turns a light shade of pink. Sirius lets out a hearty chuckle. They both turn to look at you only to see that you had left.

“When do you think she left?” Remus mumbles.

“Probably chlamydia.” Sirius mutters in response.

The table is silent for a few moments until the waiter comes back and is taken aback a bit, “Here’s your brandy and here’s your whiskey sour miss…”

The waiter looks at Sirius for a second, winks at Remus, gives him a thumbs up and leaves the table without another word.

Remus and Sirius exchange glances and simultaneously burst into fits of laughter.

“What a night!” Sirius chuckles.

“You said it.”Remus said, raising his glass.

“Cheers?”

“Cheers!”

Pst

I’m so freaking in love with my partner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spin the bottle (Wildehopps, sfw)

Again I had help from the beautiful @mama-sally so check out her writing if you see this! super cute!

The beer bottle span wildly on the floor of FruFru’s apartment as the group all sat transfixed, drinks in paws, waiting for their doom. Other than Nick, who Judy was fairly certain had rigged the bottle somehow because not once had it landed on -

“Ha……..ha!…… Finally….. got….you….. Nick!” Flash slapped his legs and laughed while Frufru and Clawhouser conspired in whispers, the shrew sitting happily on his shoulder. Judy frowned, not liking the way the pair were looking between her and Nick and laughing. That meant double dares, which with the king of bad pranks himself couldn’t end well.

“Well then?” the fox tilted his head and smiled lazily, taking a draw of his cigarette. “You going to come up with something or am I going to hear Flash here’s suggestion before yours?” The sloth began turning the cogs that made him frown 4 minutes later.

Clawhousers smile only got wider and Judy’s ears rang from the faint but high pitched squeal he let out before turning suddenly to Nick and pointing excitedly “You, Mr Wilde - “

“Have to kiss JuJu!” squeaked the pretty little shrew, jumping on the balls of her feet in happiness at her own evil, evil plan Judy noticed.  

“Ohhhh Hell no, I aint kissing dog breath. Not happening.” Judy huffed, crossing her arms and looking anywhere other than the stupid smirking fox’s face, which was now split into a wide grin at the sight of her beetroot face. A sharp barking laugh broke through her internal chanting about how unfair this was.

“That so carrots? But i’ve always wondered what rabbit tastes like!” stupid, smug, handsome pain in the-

“you’re gross, Nick.” her eyes rolled so hard she felt as though they could have ended up on the floor, not helped by Clawhousers now pouty expression. Nick took another draw before putting his claws to his heart and snorting.

“urgh, dog breath over here is the best you’ll ever have sweetheart. But hey, if I can’t kiss you there are other ways I can find out what rabbit tastes like I guess…” Green eyes danced with mischief, making her stomach sink.

“Niiiiick….I don’t like that face you’re -” Suddenly she was on her back with a very amused looking muzzle just touching her own nose and while she didn’t think it was physically possible to have gotten any redder but the world was determined to prove her wrong today apparently.

“Guess i’ll just have to eat you instead!” was the only warning she got before being suddenly assaulted by his tongue lapping across her ears and face.

“ew,ew,ew,ew,EWWWW NICK STOPPPP ITTTT!!!” she cried loudly trying her absolute damndest to look angry. It didn’t last for more than a split second before bursting into giggles and swatting at the offending mammal.

“No chance Carrots, you’re mine” he managed to say between long laps of her cheeks, trying to get the thought of how nice she felt under him out of his head before the position got very uncomfortable very quickly.

Judy squeaked and hiccupped, only spurring on her giggle fit further “I’ll - kiss you - if you - stop - LICKING MY FACE!.” Suddenly the assault stopped and Nick leaned down onto his elbows, one paw cupping his muzzle, feigning being deep in thought in the dramatic way only he was capable of.

“Hmm, you drive a hard bargain ther carrots, i’ll consider it.” his brows suddenly furrowed as he cocked his head “one question though. How?”

Purple eyes suddenly grew in confusion under him and he struggled against the corner of his mouth desperately trying to disobey him and crack into a grin.

“what do you mean, how?”

“How in hell do I kiss someone with no muzzle? Lemme look at you” Judy tried and failed to not jump at the sudden contact of his claws, which he was now using to squish her face and swivel it from side to side as he pretended to inspect her.

“did I ever mention you’re not funny in the slightest?” suddenly his arms were taken out from under him as he was dragged by the collar into Judy’s lips. He had always read that when you kiss someone you like that everything goes black around you and the moment seems to last a lifetime and there’s some kind of spark that flies between you. He found himself relieved that this was not the case, because Judy was so much better than some firework going off in the distance. She was warm and soft and inviting and he felt like he had kissed her a thousand times before, and as though he could kiss her a hundred thousand times and never tire of it. The feeling however did not last a lifetime, and suddenly the warmth was taken from him and the cheers of their friends jarred his ears. Realizing that he was still staring dumbfounded at her, the lazy smile snapped back into place. “mm…bunny definitely does taste good, can’t blame grandpapa for eating you lot after that.”

Judy scowled and placed a well aimed punch on his shoulder “Nick!” she couldn’t help but laugh as he sat upright, rubbing his arm and grumbling to himself about how in the hell a bunny could be so strong without steroids. Before she could even register what she was saying it had burst out of her mouth “You weren’t so bad yourself dogbreath.”

Clawhouser (funnily enough, being a cat) hounded them for the rest of the month until they admitted their feelings for each other.

I'm sitting in a Pizza Parlor, enjoying my slice, and...

I just heard a 20-something guy sitting behind me lower his voice and proceed to use the “Pizza is like sex” analogy to his girlfriend to explain how it tasted.