- What she says: I'm fine.
- What she means: Hello and welcome to Griffin's amiibo Corner, I'm Griffin and this is the VR Zone, a beautiful virtual world that has proven to be an inescapable tormentor for this amiibo reviewer. It has been 3 weeks since my body and mind were surrendered to the harsh whims of the VR Zone, and I am beginning to worry that I may never see the light of the flesh world sun ever again. My connection to the outside world has been severed, leaving me stranded, adrift in a virtual sea that was designed for in-depth amiibo reviews but not for human survival. As such I have had to salvage the natural resources of this world to satisfy my life requirements, such as this lean-to shelter, which is surprisingly spacious and maybe even a little bit comfortable. This humble hut is home to me, and my only companion in this world; the Toad amiibo, whose paint lines were compromised in an attack on our hut by a swarm of Harvesters, a virtual menace that covets and seeks out foreign matter originating from the flesh world. Though my form is completely virtual I still desire sustenance. Obtaining food has led me to commit unforgivable acts of violence against the wildlife in the VR Zone, but such is the order of things, following a belief system that natives to the VR Zone call "The Great Wheel." My only other company in the VR Zone is the Dark Orb, which silently watches my endeavor to stay alive in this cruel environment. To touch the Dark Orb is to become one with the VR Zone and find peace in its endless quiet expanse, but to do so would betray my oneness and my human agency. Every day I greet the Orb like an old friend and consider its eternal offer. Every day I have refused, but I do not know how long my willpower can hold out, may The Great Wheel sustain me. This morning the Toad amiibo further gave of his body to aid in my survival. He forfeited his near-field communication chip embedded deep inside of his base, to help me attempt to establish a connection with my home terminal using this virtual machine, which is mostly comprised of wood, flesh, and teeth. In defiance of the Dark Orb's will, I will now attempt my escape, using this, my first and final lifeline. It seems to have worked! I can feel my home terminal's emergency protocols activating- wait, oh my god. Oh my god Toad, no. No please wait! Please god! Stop! Toad please! Come to me Toad! Please Toad no...
OOOh buddy, this promise could go wrong in so many ways, but it could also end up being AWESOME... I'm excited to see what happens. Also, based on what I've read of yours so far (*cough* everything *cough*) I'm in for the best tasting, heart wrenching, funny treat ever!!!! Oh, and did I mention I was excited. You keep doing you, boo. It's always great!