did i know what eyeliner was!

realizing you’re on the ace spectrum like

“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”

“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what

"Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”

Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??

“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”

“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell

“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing

“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”

“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want

*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK

*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that

*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME

(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)

“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia

“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”

"There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”

“-finally.”

  • me: *in a crowded mall* oh no i can't find the emos
  • me: *clears throat* PETE WENTZ SUCKS
  • emos: *running out of hot topic at warped speed* WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY ABOUT PETER LEWIS KINGSTON WENTZ THE THIRD ILL HAVE U KNOW THAT HE PERSONALLY SAVED MY LIFE AND HIS EYELINER INSPIRES ME EVERYDAY YOU DONT KNOW A THING ABOUT HIM HOW DARE U BE SO DISRESPECTFU
  • me: found them

10 Things I Can’t Get Over in OUAT 6A

  1. The Blue Fairy wielding an axe.
  2. The Blue Fairy being powerful enough to break into the Dark Castle (because you know Rumple warded the place against fairies because he hatesssss them, my precious) but then just unlocking a door for Belle: “Go forth and conquer, smol cinnamon roll with no magic or martial arts training– I’m going to go hatch some dwarf slaves or something.”
  3. Pros to being in the Mirror World: Being able to bingewatch your favorite people. Cons: The Hook channel is mostly him applying his eyeliner. Open Question: What did Sidney do for food? You can’t bingewatch without snacks.
  4. If you had “Professor Kink” and “Master/Slave Roleplay” on your list of Regina Kink Bingo, come and claim your canon prize.
  5. Either Hook really likes candles and flowers, or Belle spent her one day on the Jolly Roger trying her hand at interior decorating.
    Hook: Are you sure I need so many candelabras, luv?
    Belle: SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE CANDELABRAS.
  6. Rumplestiltskin, voted Storybrooke’s Most Likely to Cry Before, During, and After Sex six years running, went to the Evil Queen and was all: “And your reward for killing your sister will be … DIS BOOTY!” And the Evil Queen’s response? “Sounds legit.” I feel like those scenes were missing an establishing shot of three empty tequila bottles or something.
    Evil Queen: HAHA WE SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE OUT *HIC*.
    Rumple: HAHA WE TOTALLY SHOULD.
  7. Gideon getting his mom to find him via a book called “Defeating the Dark One for Dummies.” That was the title, right?
  8. When Hook apologizes for keeping the shears against Emma’s wishes because it might save her, Emma goes: “I WOULD’VE done the same thing.” Girl, you DID do the same thing! It lead to a truly questionable Librarian Granny Does Bondage hairdo and a lot of shouting and Hook’s bangs getting bigger from the betrayal and also all the darkness. Did you guys do shots of Regina’s amnesia potion after 5B or something? If so, is there any leftover for the audience?
  9. The Dragon has been killed twice AND heart-ripped but keeps on ticking, and now gets to chill with Lancelot and Sidney in the “POCs Who Cheated Death Club.” (It’s a small club.)
  10. Rumple shouting to the Black Fairy: “NO ONE KNOWS MY PAIN!” Dude. The show could be called “Once Upon a Child Abandonment.” Trust me– EVERYONE knows that pain.

Bonus: Henry is now taller than half the cast except for Gideon, who is the only newborn who can do a slam dunk. What is this show?

I went to my first kickboxing class tonight, for a number of reasons:

  • I need to do SOMETHING about my sedentary lifestyle and weight
  • A rapist who promotes sexual assault somehow got elected president??? and I feel less safe than ever
  • I want to be Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast when I grow up

It’s at an MMA studio, they have a kickboxing section and MMA section. The class I did was a bag workout, but all the instructors are competitors, so they know what they’re doing. 

Things I loved about this class:

  • The staff was really supportive
  • One of the other participants greeted me after the class
  • The class consisted of me and 7 other women

Additionally:

  • This isn’t a “Women’s” kickboxing class, it just happened to be all women
  • The instructor did not go easy on the class because they were women
  • Everyone is really enthusiastic

There was:

  • An experienced woman, a good foot shorter than me, who has been doing this forever and who has thighs made of iron and fierce eyeliner who could snap me like a fat twig
  • A pudgy middle aged woman who did much better than me despite how hard it clearly was for her, pushing herself the whole time
  • A young lady, amateur, covered wrist to ankle and wearing a hijab

And so on. They’re all beautiful and I love them. 

if ANYONE needs me from now on i will be off lurking in the shadows of the grandiose Viennese opera-house over which I bitterly preside; wearing some staid yet theatrical menagerie of straight-cut black satins and cloying ruffles and far, far too much eyeliner; wondering if i remembered to take my 18th century Lexapro – alas! i did not – and stewing in angry doubt over my skills as a composer with a great verve and cold intensity; refusing all pleasantries and most conversation; all the while snarling in petulant silence at any interlocutor who dares speak the foul name of that cursed upstart, Mozart, in any sort of complimentary manner; pondering that sacred place where music and death come together in uneasy secret and failing to pretend that i wasn’t literally just crying in a bathroom; doing god knows what with a knife

One time in freshman year of college I was walking with a friend who like, had visible tattoos and piercings and colorful hair and cat-eye glasses and winged eyeliner, and someone walks up to her and is like “hey, do you know where I can get some adderall?” and she’s just like “yeah” and gives this lady a phone number and the girl’s like “thanks” and my friend is like “no prob.” So I ask “did you know her?” and she’s like “nah, I guess I just give off that vibe?”

And I wondered for a while what vibe I gave off but then a year later the same thing happened to me on the bus, when a stranger came up to me and, totally out of the blue, asked to help him set up his PS4 just by describing the process to him from memory while he took notes. I don’t have or know how to use a PlayStation.

BTS as quotes of my younger sister
  • Seokjin: my eyebrows are seriously on fleek. just like my existence. i'm amazing, and everybody knows that.
  • Yoongi: disturb me while i'm taking my beauty nap and i swear you will be hit on spots of which you didn't even know where you can feel pain.
  • Hoseok: *dances to baepsae* *hipthrusts* *screams* I CAN HIPTHRUST!!!!!! *screams even harder*
  • Namjoon: okay so.... i kinda dropped your eyeliner and it rolled somewhere underneath the closet so i can't find it anymore but hey i baked an omelet for- *omelet burns* *panicks* WHAT DID I DO?!
  • Jimin: hey look *pulls up shirt so that abs can be fully seen* i got a fuckin sixpack because of the 30 minutes of dancing heheheheeheh
  • Taehyung: *sees pigeon* omg that's a pigeon HI PIGEON HOW ARE YOU LET'S BE FRIENDS!! *pigeon flies away in fear* *pouts* am i scary?
  • Jungkook: BITCH DAB! *dabs 15113564346567 times*

So there’s this guy I met at an LGBT gathering and he asked me my name. And when I said, “Today it’s Alex. I’m feeling in between,” he asked me how it is other days. He asked me how he would be able to tell.

I explained that usually Ally days were obvious because I’d wear makeup or something. Alec days were different, sort of more obviously guyish, but usually I felt like an Alex.

He saw me one day and called me Ally and I was like how did he know? Well I was wearing earrings and skinny jeans and eyeliner.

Today he saw me and called me Alex and I was like. Oh yeah. I am Alex today. And I looked at myself and realized that’s how I’d dressed, and he noted it.

Honestly I feel very thankful for someone like him who pays attention and works hard to validate others. It feels amazing that someone takes time to say hi and figure out what to call you that day.


I need to thank him next time I see him.

Whenever I see that video of the two girls with way too much eyeliner and black dresses and one of them is blonde and the other one has black hair and they black haired one says “we’re in my room rocking out to MCR while everyone else is celebrating 2009, which is another year everyone’s closer to death” I wonder what those two are up to now, like did they die? Do they have jobs? How old are they now? Are they still emo? What is going on in their lives is what I wanna know.

while we’re at it..what video do you guys wanna see next week?

nail polish collection/declutter

lipstick collection/declutter

project pan update

eyeliner collection/declutter

march ipsy bag tryon and review

concert storytime? (you guys let me know about this its been forever since i did one XD)

let me know…. :D cause like honestly i could do those collection videos since ive been going through my makeup and being like 0.0

@rainbowmusictime @rebeccakofficial @tobaccoleaves @starchildluver @stardust-daydream @headlight-queen @belahbelieve

Exo: They become jealous and possessive of you

((Tbh I feel like the title says the most I could write in a paragraph without repeating it soooo let’s just have what they say, ‘kay? Thankssss~~~~!))

Baekhyun: “Honestly, you could’ve not complemented his eyeliner. Maybe then I wouldn’t be like this.”

Chanyeol: “Hanging out with a guy who I don’t know and also being very cuddly with him? Wow. Nice. Makes me feel loved. Prepare to be watched for a bit.”

D.O.: “Did you just compliment Baekhyun? You’re just asking for me to be like this.”

Kai: *becomes jealous for some God-forsaken reason and watches your every move*

Sehun: *has a huge talk with you and continues to be jealous and possessive even if you had a good reason/excuse*

Suho: “I’m not sure when he became your reading buddy. I thought I was. And don’t read with him like that….”

Chen: “You wanna explain why you just winked at that guy? He’s not even remotely good-looking.”

Kris: *gif* “Yeah don’t talk about how fabulous he can be, and how sometimes he’s better than I am. I’m greatest good you’re ever gonna get.”

Lay: *once he sees you doing something that makes him jealous, he immediately wonders what to do to make sure you don’t do it again*

Luhan: “Calling Tao more manly than I am? Think again.”

Tao: *let’s just say you keep getting Gucci from some guy you’ve never introduced to Tao. Yep.*

Xiumin: “What are you doing, giving more cuddles to this random guy than to me? Who even is he?”

you’ve made it so far. take a second to remember all the times where you’ve lost yourself but eventually found yourself. where you’ve felt so horrible and that there was no sunshine coming back, but you smiled again and you felt the sun kiss your skin. remember the times where you’ve accomplished things (maybe you did ur eyeliner on the first try? got a somewhat good grade on a test u thought u failed? goT A JOB??). a time where you felt… just great about yourself… and now… smile! ya got a pretty smile m8 trust me…. 💫

anyways, im proud of u.. u should be proud of urself too. you’re amazing and u’ve got a lot of potential, okay? ✨ just so u know,, im always here for u if u think nobodY CARES… cause guess what? i cARE…IT’S ME.. I CARE .. love u

a-lost-narnian  asked:

hey Christine, hope the bridal shower went well! When you wear false eyelashes for a show, how long do you reuse them before you get a fresh pair? do you put them on before or after eyeliner and mascara? also, do you have a favorite brand or style? thanks!!

I use them until they lose their shape, with the caveat that I clean them very thoroughly.  I have so many eye issues (seriously…  I don’t know what I did to deserve the plethora of eye issues, diseases, and injuries I’ve endured) so I am incredibly susceptible to eye infections.  That makes cleaning them an absolutely necessity.  I actually adore the Elf brand, and I like to go with ones that are lone and medium thickness.  I can’t really do heavy black lashes because of my fair skin tone, but on stage, medium thickness ones work fairly well for me!  I put mascara and eyeliner on first, lashes second.  :D

Okay y'all but listen: instead of the peacock kwami being a sensitive little dip like y'all are screaming about, how about this

This kwami is just about the biggest drama queen known to man. This kwami was the one who invented crocodile tears and isn’t above using them to get what they want. Even at stupid things they’ll cry. Like, “ooooooooh my miraculous holder doesn’t wear eyeliner properlyyyyyy oooooh woe is meeeeeee what did I ever do to deserve thiiiiiiiis”

And just generally acts like an annoying spoiled child who cries all the damn time because they know that thy can get their way by crying

And the crying looks really pathetic and stuff and probably sounds like a kicked kitten, puppy, and baby times ten, but imagine the real crying.

It’s gonna be super ugly and emotional and it’s gonna make the kwami sound like a dying goose. It’ll be terrible and they probably hate it but oh god it would be the most emotional and heart breaking thing ever

Exo Baby Drama~
  • Tao: I'm pregnant... And I don't know who the father is...
  • Y/N: What the---
  • Sehun: This is like your fourth time!
  • Tao: SHHHHHHH!!!
  • Tao: DONT LET Y/N KNOW THAT!!
  • Y/N: FOURTH TIME!? U HAVE 4 BABY PANDAS ALREADY???
  • Tao: Um well technically one's a pandacorn
  • Tao: You know... like a panda unicorn...
  • Y/N: YIXING!? WHAT DID YOU DOOO!?
  • Yixing: erm...
  • Y/N: IS THIS WHY YOU TWO HAVE BEEN ABSENT DURING COMEBACK?
  • Tao: ehe.....
  • Kyungsoo: Why is one of Tao's kids wearing so much eyeliner?
  • Baekhyun: uh....
  • Baekhyun: WELL THAT ONE HAS DEVIL HORNS!! WHO DO YOU THINK THAT BELONGS TO HUH!?
  • Y/N: DO ANY OF THEM LOOK LIKE ME!?
  • Tao: ummm… no
  • Y/N: THAT'S IT. I'm marrying Suho<3
  • Tao: How could you!?
  • Suho: Uh… you see… I think I'm getting back with Yifan....
  • Yifan: *Mr. steal yo girl starts playing*
  • Y/N: NOOOOOOO~
  • Luhan: Guys I'm prego too...
  • Y/N: Oh my god.
  • Luhan: WHAT THE HECK!? ITS A BLACK AND WHITE DEER!
  • Y/N: TAOOO! WHAT DID YOU DO!?
  • Tao: DON'T ATTACK THE PREGNANT WOMAN *RUBS BELLY*
  • Baekhyun: *mocks* don't attack the pregnant woman
  • Baekhyun: YOU'RE A MAN TAO
  • Tao: DON'T SASS ME!! I CARRIED YOUR EYELINER PRINCESS
  • Baekhyun: THAT'S NOT EYELINER TAO THOSE ARE PANDA EYES
  • Baekhyun: I GAVE YOU NO CHILDREN.
  • Y/N: *slowly backs away*
  • Baekhyun: I HAVE A SON WITH DAEHYUN AND I AM THE MOTHER
  • Baekhyun: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GIVE YOU CHILDREN
  • Tao: THEN WHOSE BABY IS THIS!?
  • Baekhyun: LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS... AND THOSE BABY ABS
  • Baekhyun: WHO DO YOU THINK THEY BELONG TO!?
  • ~Minseok hides behind Kyungsoo~
I know you probably wont read but please do

So about 15 minutes ago i was having some self confidence issues about not making our society’s beauty standards. I am a 14 year old girl, I am not fat, nor skinny, I look like a normal 14 year old. So I was just feeling really ugly and decided to try some of my younger sisters makeup (yes younger, i do not wear makeup). I started putting it on, I honestly did not know what i was doing, i was happy, it was covering up my imperfections on my face, my acne and my freckles. I thought i was doing well, than i went to try eyeliner, you see i have done eyeliner before and i was pretty good at it, but that was just for messing around. I was actually putting it in for beauty this time, i started putting it on and in the first 5 seconds i mess up. I pick myself up and try the other eye and it look decent. But i was really getting discouraged about how bad it was looking all together. To make me feel better i decided to draw cat whiskers on my face with the eyeliner and keeping the eyeliner on my eyes. One thing that always makes me happy are dan and phil, they can make me laugh and smile when no one else can. So i had the cat whiskers on and i felt as beautiful as i would if i had perfect makeup on. People don’t realize that makeup sucks, it covers up our imperfections that make us us. While i was wearing there cat whiskers i decided to take some photos of myself on my computer, they are not the best quality but they still are some of the best photos i have of myself, i never stopped smiling. Thank You Dan and Phil for making me feel beautiful without even trying.  Here are some of the photos i took. 

I’m not sure if this will be particularly enlightening to anyone, especially because I’m still pretty new to seriously practicing witchcraft in general, but as a scientist, I had a lot of trouble reconciling magic with my life at first. I tried to convince myself that it was just “fancy psychology” or sheer luck that the spells I cast worked, and the more I doubted, the more unbalanced I became. I felt a calling, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

I finally decided to experiment with glamour magic, the magic I was most comfortable with at the time. It was logical, I figured. I did my makeup as usual without any magic, just telling myself that I was beautiful and witty and going about my day like that. I got a few more smiles, a scrawled heart on my coffee from my barista, but nothing spectacular.

Then, I did magic. I put sigils in my foundation, charmed my lipstick, enchanted my eyeliner- you get my point, I basically blasted “SEE ME AND WEEP.” When it was all done and blended out, nothing looked out of place, but something had changed. Again, I’m new to this, and this was maybe the seventh time I had performed a glamour spell, and I’m sure it wasn’t extraordinary or any out of the ordinary when it comes to witchcraft, but my sigils had power, my lipstick had power, my eyeliner had power. And, when I walked out of my house, heads turned. It was unsettling; I felt as though I was magnetic. That wasn’t psychology. That was magic. 

I very fervently believe in magic. Still, I understand those who are having trouble with really, truly, believing. It can be hard, but it can also be so easy. While one witchling’s glamour spell might mean next to nothing, I can tell you that in a little less than half a year of practice, I have had real tangible results. Before you put magic/witchcraft down out of fear, please, please, try. Tell your brain to shut it, because it can be scary to do what you think is illogical. Or, as I did, feed your desire for the analytical. (I learned a lot of protective wards and spells that night, though, and spent a long time after that working on grounding. It really was unsettling.)