did i get them right this time

anonymous asked:

One of my high school teachers was always telling us to live in a dorm to get the best college experience, but I'm so glad I didn't and I'm commuting to and from campus because I haven't heard one good thing about living in the residence halls. Like I guess it's convenient to be right there, but that's the only perk. Everyone's getting sick and the fire alarms constantly go off and it just sounds like hell so I'm glad I saved money by avoiding that lol

Honestly.. I had a HORRIBLE time in residence. I was there for my first year, and instead of them putting me in a traditional double room on the quiet floor like I asked, they put me in a pod with 4 other roommates on the LOUD floor. I did make some friends, and it was convenient - especially because that year was the bus strike in Ottawa - and the food was good, but I really hated it. I think if you’re happy not doing residence, then don’t do it. 

2

The next morning he was going through his morning routine when the resident genie materialized in his private bath. “Get out” he growled at his unwelcome visitor.

“I’m giving you another chance to eliminate the right one this episode” Micah smirked looking as smug as ever.

“No” Adam shook his head not even attempting to pretend to play along this time.

“She isn’t who you think she is” Micah told him like he knew more than Adam did and being a concerned friend.

“Are any of them?” Adam asked turning to face the genie “the elders agreed I could choose anyone out of the contestants you selected. If she’s not someone you wanted as my mate then you shouldn’t have allowed her to compete. You have no one to blame but yourselves.”

Anger darkened Micah’s features as he vanished from the room. Adam let out a short half hearted snort. He had been forced into this charade but he would not relinquish what little control he had in the results. He had the right choose who wins. He would hold onto that right until the end. It didn’t mean he had to be blind about his choices either.

Rick Riordan won a Stonewall award today

for his second Magnus Chase book, due to the inclusion of the character Alex Fierro who is gender fluid. This was the speech he gave, and it really distills why I love this author and his works so much, and why I will always recommend his works to anyone and everyone.

“Thank you for inviting me here today. As I told the Stonewall Award Committee, this is an honor both humbling and unexpected.

So, what is an old cis straight white male doing up here? Where did I get the nerve to write Alex Fierro, a transgender, gender fluid child of Loki in The Hammer of Thor, and why should I get cookies for that?

These are all fair and valid questions, which I have been asking myself a lot.

I think, to support young LGBTQ readers, the most important thing publishing can do is to publish and promote more stories by LGBTQ authors, authentic experiences by authentic voices. We have to keep pushing for this. The Stonewall committee’s work is a critical part of that effort. I can only accept the Stonewall Award in the sense that I accept a call to action – firstly, to do more myself to read and promote books by LGBTQ authors.

But also, it’s a call to do better in my own writing. As one of my genderqueer readers told me recently, “Hey, thanks for Alex. You didn’t do a terrible job!” I thought: Yes! Not doing a terrible job was my goal!

As important as it is to offer authentic voices and empower authors and role models from within LGBTQ community, it’s is also important that LGBTQ kids see themselves reflected and valued in the larger world of mass media, including my books. I know this because my non-heteronormative readers tell me so. They actively lobby to see characters like themselves in my books. They like the universe I’ve created. They want to be part of it. They deserve that opportunity. It’s important that I, as a mainstream author, say, “I see you. You matter. Your life experience may not be like mine, but it is no less valid and no less real. I will do whatever I can to understand and accurately include you in my stories, in my world. I will not erase you.”

People all over the political spectrum often ask me, “Why can’t you just stay silent on these issues? Just don’t include LGBTQ material and everybody will be happy.” This assumes that silence is the natural neutral position. But silence is not neutral. It’s an active choice. Silence is great when you are listening. Silence is not so great when you are using it to ignore or exclude.

But that’s all macro, ‘big picture’ stuff. Yes, I think the principles are important. Yes, in the abstract, I feel an obligation to write the world as I see it: beautiful because of its variations. Where I can’t draw on personal experience, I listen, I read a lot – in particular I want to credit Beyond Magenta and Gender Outlaws for helping me understand more about the perspective of my character Alex Fierro – and I trust that much of the human experience is universal. You can’t go too far wrong if you use empathy as your lens. But the reason I wrote Alex Fierro, or Nico di Angelo, or any of my characters, is much more personal.

I was a teacher for many years, in public and private school, California and Texas. During those years, I taught all kinds of kids. I want them all to know that I see them. They matter. I write characters to honor my students, and to make up for what I wished I could have done for them in the classroom.

I think about my former student Adrian (a pseudonym), back in the 90s in San Francisco. Adrian used the pronouns he and him, so I will call him that, but I suspect Adrian might have had more freedom and more options as to how he self-identified in school were he growing up today. His peers, his teachers, his family all understood that Adrian was female, despite his birth designation. Since kindergarten, he had self-selected to be among the girls – socially, athletically, academically. He was one of our girls. And although he got support and acceptance at the school, I don’t know that I helped him as much as I could, or that I tried to understand his needs and his journey. At that time in my life, I didn’t have the experience, the vocabulary, or frankly the emotional capacity to have that conversation. When we broke into social skills groups, for instance, boys apart from girls, he came into my group with the boys, I think because he felt it was required, but I feel like I missed the opportunity to sit with him and ask him what he wanted. And to assure him it was okay, whichever choice he made. I learned more from Adrian than I taught him. Twenty years later, Alex Fierro is for Adrian.

I think about Jane (pseudonym), another one of my students who was a straight cis-female with two fantastic moms. Again, for LGBTQ families, San Francisco was a pretty good place to live in the 90s, but as we know, prejudice has no geographical border. You cannot build a wall high enough to keep it out. I know Jane got flack about her family. I did what I could to support her, but I don’t think I did enough. I remember the day Jane’s drama class was happening in my classroom. The teacher was new – our first African American male teacher, which we were all really excited about – and this was only his third week. I was sitting at my desk, grading papers, while the teacher did a free association exercise. One of his examples was ‘fruit – gay.’ I think he did it because he thought it would be funny to middle schoolers. After the class, I asked to see the teacher one on one. I asked him to be aware of what he was saying and how that might be hurtful. I know. Me, a white guy, lecturing this Black teacher about hurtful words. He got defensive and quit, because he said he could not promise to not use that language again. At the time, I felt like I needed to do something, to stand up especially for Jane and her family. But did I make things better handling it as I did? I think I missed an opportunity to open a dialogue about how different people experience hurtful labels. Emmie and Josephine and their daughter Georgina, the family I introduce in The Dark Prophecy, are for Jane.

I think about Amy, and Mark, and Nicholas … All former students who have come out as gay since I taught them in middle school. All have gone on to have successful careers and happy families. When I taught them, I knew they were different. Their struggles were greater, their perspectives more divergent than some of my other students. I tried to provide a safe space for them, to model respect, but in retrospect I don’t think I supported them as well as I could have, or reached out as much as they might have needed. I was too busy preparing lessons on Shakespeare or adjectives, and not focusing enough on my students’ emotional health. Adjectives were a lot easier for me to reconcile than feelings. Would they have felt comfortable coming out earlier than college or high school if they had found more support in middle school? Would they have wanted to? I don’t know. But I don’t think they felt it was a safe option, which leaves me thinking that I did not do enough for them at that critical middle school time. I do not want any kid to feel alone, invisible, misunderstood. Nico di Angelo is for Amy, and Mark and Nicholas.

I am trying to do more. Percy Jackson started as a way to empower kids, in particular my son, who had learning differences. As my platform grew, I felt obliged to use it to empower all kids who are struggling through middle school for whatever reason. I don’t always do enough. I don’t always get it right. Good intentions are wonderful things, but at the end of a manuscript, the text has to stand on its own. What I meant ceases to matter. Kids just see what I wrote. But I have to keep trying. My kids are counting on me.

So thank you, above all, to my former students who taught me. Alex Fierro is for you.

To you, I pledge myself to do better – to apologize when I screw up, to learn from my mistakes, to be there for LGBTQ youth and make sure they know that in my books, they are included. They matter. I am going to stop talking now, but I promise you I won’t stop listening.”

Aries: You can’t burn someone, and not expect them to treat you like you are fire. Can’t expect them not to be cautious of poison.
Taurus: Don’t be scared. As big and massive as the future is, all the pain has got to be behind us. You’ve survived enough.
Gemini: Some people are always going to be monsters. You can’t ever make them into heroes.
Cancer: Moving on is the scariest thing you could possibly do. But often times it is the only thing you can do.
Leo: Stop second guessing everything. You cant take the bullet back once you fire. Be sure for once.
Virgo: You made it. I know you don’t feel like celebration right now. But you did it and all of us are so proud.
Libra: The fuck kid? Get it together. Just another day. Get through it.
Scorpio: The venom in your words is only hurting yourself. I wish this road gave you a better fate.
Sagittarius:  Be careful. The road you walk is filled with pot holes and is more dangerous then you could know.
Capricorn:  Quit picking at old wounds. You’ll just make more scars and more harm in the end.
Aquarius:  This town is just filled with ghosts. You don’t need it. Run as far and as fast as you can.
Pisces: You can only grow so much when you’re safe.. You have to take leaps of faith to test yourself.
—  This weeks horoscope

SHEITH POSITIVITY WEEK - DAY 3: Summerrain.

I never did you right, I know that
Too many sleepless nights, I own that
I said it time and time, I know that
I want to try again

Can we start over?
Can we start over?
Can we start over?
Before it’s over, over

- “Start Over” by Imagine Dragons

I like to believe, that Shiro felt guilty for always disappearing on Keith. Of course it wasn’t his fault, but still… So when they get back to Earth, he tries to make it up to Keith. I really like the idea of them dancing in the rain on a warm summer day, since they haven’t felt rain in a long time. And they love it. There’s just so much time they both lost during the war and the Kerberos mission… They both need these little moments to rebuild themselves together. ♥

10

We dedicated our whole day to it. The first half of the day was just the camera movements. And then we got into, it was, as you know, it’s one take, so we had to get everything right. Each attempt that we had at it. And it’s incredibly tricky because it’s not like a long tracking shot with two people speaking; it’s a long tracking shot with people punching. If one punch doesn’t land, it no longer works. It ceases to work as a scene. So I think we did it 12 times. I think three of them, we made it all the way through to the end. And one of them was the one in the show, which is kind of almost flawless. I mean, it’s very hard to find holes in that. - Charlie Cox on Cut-Man Hallway Fight

Drarry Headcanons
  • Draco pining for Harry since sixth year
  • Like he just needs someone to save him, to care for him, who better than the savior of the entire wizarding world?
  • Three years after the war finally ends, and Harry’s Auror work leads him to St. Mungo’s where Draco is a healer
  • And when did Draco get so attractive ???
  • Harry finds himself going back several times a week with increasingly frail excuses to see him
  • “Er, I got a paper cut and I forgot the healing charm.”
  • “You do realize bandages exist, right Potter?”
  • Finally he goes “fuck it, I didn’t die to keep these feelings to myself” and asks him on a date
  • This goes on for a while, and things are super good for both of them
  • They finally begin to feel normal again
  • Harry eventually wants to come out to his family (the Weasleys, Andromeda, Teddy who’s far too young to understand but he’ll be damned if he keeps a single secret from that child)
  • Draco wants to come out too, but his family is so torn apart
  • So they do it together, hand-in-hand, at a Weasley family gathering and when they finally convince Andy and Narcissa to meet
  • They move in together a few months later and have a guest bedroom for Merlin-knows who will stay with them
  • The longer they stay together, the more time Andy leaves Teddy alone with them, secretly testing them as parents
  • That room eventually becomes Teddy’s room, full of warmth and color and so, so many pictures of Remus and Tonks
  • And they heal together, mending the scars they both hide beneath the surface
  • Draco eventually decides he wants his Dark Mark hidden, as instead of a reminder of his past mistakes, it becomes a trigger for horrible anxiety, so he goes and gets the constellations of his family tattooed over it
  • Harry gets a tattoo of Canis Major, complete with twinkling Sirius star on the same day
  • He would end up with a full moon, a rack of antlers, and a lily flower on his body as well
  • They take even bigger roles in Teddy’s life, as a cousin to Draco and godson to Harry
  • Teddy loves the zoo, and they have weekly trips there, but once its raining so they go to the animal shelter instead
  • Draco falls in love with every single cat, but they immediately make Harry sneeze
  • Teddy becomes attached to a large black dog, but to Harry it looks a bit too much like another one
  • Draco literally refuses to leave without rescuing at least one animal
  • They eventually decide to adopt two sphynx cats they find on the muggle internet because they’re hypoallergenic and many people consider them to be ugly, but they fit so well into their strange family
  • Draco thinks they look absolutely regal and wants to name them after constellations, but Harry’s having none of it
  • A few months later, Harry stops in the middle of a Quidditch game they’re playing with Teddy
  • “Draco, will you marry me?”
  • It’s so random that Draco nearly falls off his broom in shock, but he says yes an instant later, and the game continues
  • After the wedding, in which Teddy is the most adorable ring bearer to grace the earth, his hair matching their colors of emerald and gold, Andromeda approaches them with the idea of the two of them adopting Teddy as their own
  • It’d be so much easier for the two of them to keep up with him and raise him into modern society, and she just wants to step back and be a grandmother more than a parent
  • When Draco enthusiastically agrees to it, Harry can’t help but break down in tears
  • After living his whole life without a family, after everyone he’s lost, and after all he’s fought for, he can finally just live and be happy
  • Harry and Draco Malfoy-Potter and their Son Teddy Remus Lupin along with their two cats, Dobby and Colin, grow old together because for fuck’s sake these three deserve to be happy

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I bribed a security guard at a Panic! at the Disco concert to let me hug Ryan Ross?

There were about 40 of us waiting around in the parking lot after the show, because we knew they’d come out to meet us (this was when they were touring with Dresden Dolls and The Hush Sound, right after A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out got big, so very early on).
Their security guy, Zack, said we were only allowed to high five them. If we tried to touch them beyond that we would get escorted away.
I was 16, and Ryan was My Favorite.
I was literally joking and just trying to get on Memorable Terms with the security guard (pro-tip, get in good with security, folks), so I told Zack I would give him a fruit-by-the-foot if he let me hug Ryan.
He looked me dead in the face and said, “You have one on you?”
So I pulled a fruit-by-the-foot out of my purse (because I never went anywhere without them at the time).
I handed it over, and the guys came out one by one about an hour later.
When Ryan got to me, I looked at Zack questioningly. He nodded and said “This one’s allowed to hug you.”

And that’s the story of how I bribed P!atD’s security guard with a fruit-by-the-foot to let me hug Ryan Ross.

Dating Incest Girls

My most recent ex girlfriends have told me detailed stories about their secret fun. A few years ago I was dating a 18f that had been fooling around with her real dad since she was 11. She had big boobs at 10 and she said her dad and friends took notice as she developed. Her parents spilt when she was 11 and she went and stayed with her dad for a bit. She said she tried to take her moms role, she would take care of him and then she started catching him jerk off. She said she would masturbate a lot thinking about taking him and him having his way with her. One day she walked in on him jerking off and she walked up to him as he was still stroking it and asked if she could watch. He agreed and jerked off for her as she started to get aroused she asked if she could help. He took her hand and guided it on to his thick curved cock and she said she was hooked from then on. She said she stroked it and they made out and she had her tits played with and sucked on. She was so wet and turned on that she wanted to do more. So she got on her knees and without asking she took her dads thick rock hard cock into her young warm wet mouth. She said that was her first cock and her daddy showed her how to suck it and stroke it (she deff had good dick handling abilities). She said he came in her mouth and she spit it up because it was so much. A few times of her catching him or him walking in on her in the shower and playing with each other she was ready to take let her dad take her virginity. She had plans on doing it on his bed and making it hot and romantic, but she ended up catching him jerk off to a dirty mag in his garage while he was working on his car. She went right up to him and dropped to her knees and told him “I thought we discussed this is my job” as she took his cock into her mouth. He let her suck on it and make it nice and wet. Then she got up and pulled her pants down and started rubbing and showing him her tight wet pussy. He picked her up and laid her back on the hood of his car and started licking her pussy and fucking her with his tongue. She said she came from his mouth and started begging for him to fuck her, he was on the fence about it. He teased her by rubbing his big thick head around her smooth wet pussy, then rubbing in out her clit. She said she couldn’t take the teasing anymore and pushed herself into him, forcing half his cock straight up into her. They both let out big moans and embraced each other and started making out as he slowly slide it all the way in. She just laid there while he filled her pussy up with all his cock. She said it was painful but the way he touched her and the way his cock curved it felt good really quick. He pumped her a few times slowly making her gasp and moan. Then she told him “harder daddy”, and he just stated pumping harder and faster into her. She said she was so wet from everything that it really diluted her blood from breaking her hymen, but looking down at her dads thick curved cock going in and out of her all shiny and wet made her his little slut right then and there. She said they went at it for about 10 mins or so and he pulled out and came all over her bit tits. 11 yrs old with almost size D bra, big perky tits cover in her dads cum. God I would of loved to seen that. I guess I’m lucky though, I did get to catch them when she was with me 18 at the time. We were stopping by her dad’s house where she was living at the time. She was going in to change and be right back out. Well I noticed the light on in her dad’s office/studio from out in the car. I seen this shadow blur across the curtains, realizing it was my girlfriend popping in to say hi to him. Then I noticed she dropped straight down instead of back out to the side like she came in view of the window. Then it hit me, she just dropped to her knees in front of him. Well I knew there was only one reason for her to do that, so I opened my door softly and then didn’t even close it just so they wouldn’t hear me trying to close my door and stop. I slowly snuck up to the window to his office and luckily there was a bit of the curtain open. When I looked in I was shocked! There was my gf on her knees holding her dads cock with one hand and cupping his balls with the other and licking up and down his shaft! I almost came in my pants right then and there, needless to say I had a rock hard cock then. She licked his shaft and then put it back in her naughty mouth and slide it all the way down with ease. You could deff tell she had been sucking that cock for a long time and knew how to work it. She was just gagging on it and then he stood up real quick took it out of her mouth and jerked it until he came all over her face. I was grabbing my rock hard cock through my pants not even realizing that I look like a big creep peeping in their window at night rubbing my cock. I watched as he took a shirt near by and gave it to her to clean her face off and decided to go back to the car before I’m spotted. I got back in the car and almost ripped my jeans because my cock was so hard. I took it out and started jerking off thinking about what I just seen with my own two eyes. Then I start thinking about all the stories she shared with me from the first time the had each other in the garage to that night she just sucked her dad off real quick while her bf waits out in the car. Never got to witness anything with any of my other ex girlfriends, but hopefully I can see something like that again. Still is the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. BTW I never said anything to my ex gf about what I saw with her dad, she was open about telling me but I knew that she would of felt embarrassed if she knew I saw and knew it was absolutely real.

Whipped Cream (Jungkook smut)

Originally posted by nnochu


Description: Jungkook is your roommate. Among other things, his habit for baking shirtless made it… ‘difficult’ to live with him.

Themes: Smut, baker, collage, roommate au

This fic contains: Smut, adult content, food play, arguing, drinking, mentions of threesomes, swearing

Characters: Jungkook x You, Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung

words: 7.5k

For this fic I used inspirations of food play and the roommate au from two anons <3

A/N: I refused to come back from my hiatus until I had something for my lovely and patient followers <3 (also, I was keen to come back so i’ll edit this and fix mistakes later)

@chanyeolingss, @jn-jngkk, @sugaspen <3


It wasn’t necessarily the pile of dishes or the trail of clothes that seemed to almost constantly hover around Jungkook like he was some annoying ass Avatar or something that got you so mad. It wasn’t the thick fragrance of his cologne or body wash that drifted through the open plan of your shared apartment every morning, or the smell of his musky sweat when he returned home from his evening jog, or from when he emerges from his room- having clearly just having a ‘fucking mind blowing’ wank. It wasn’t the soft melodies, or exciting electronic beats that flooded from his open window and into yours, nor his big and copious amounts of jackets and coats that made it nearly impossible to get your own fucking clothes from the rack next to the front door. Your frequent burning irritation had nothing to do with his presence, with the evidence of his existence in your apartment and life; it was with the man behind it all. It was with him. With fucking Jeon Jungkook. Ok, and maybe it was also for his fucking annoying baking habits. Did he really need to bring that shit home? Didn’t he get sick of it at work?

Keep reading

migumiglorious replied to your post “You mentioned in your tags on your post that you are in the upswing of…”

Oh my god “try harder” is what all my teachers and counselor told me for the four year duration of middle school whenever I said I didn’t understand the material in class or when I said I couldn’t focus and it was h e l l. Honestly I think teachers say that cause they think students are lying, so that they can go “Oh I did my job I didn’t ignore them” when in reality they’re still doing that. I get close to flipping my shit every time I hear someone say it now.

Try harder has been my mantra through all of my childhood right the way through to my adult years. Try harder. 

Like honestly the whole time I was at university I was having a perpetual meltdown, there was no way I could have possibly tried harder. I graduated with a 2:1 with honors (I have no idea how to translate that for the Americans, sorry, it’s pretty good though, like not 4.0 good but Up There) and the first thing my professor said to me, with a big ole smile on his face was “now imagine what you could have done if you’d just tried harder” and all I could hear after that was the Kill Bill siren in my head. Like I’d just coasted my way there, and hand’t spent four years torturing myself, crying daily and completely destroying my personal life to try and keep it together long enough to reach graduation day.

And that’s a summary of my entire school life right there, with report cards that say “Joy is extremely clever but just doesn’t try hard enough”, “could be wonderful, if she only tried harder.” And it took until last year when I was joking with @jeneelestrange that it’s odd that I know all the things that I know because I’m not all that clever, and haha isn’t it funny that I’m able to remember these things despite this this and this, and there was this moment of pause which you could hear even over the internet before Jenee very gently nudged me with “hey…uh…that uh…that’s a learning disorder, you have a learning disorder” and I went haha no I just don’t try hard enough, I’m just not all that clever…right? I’m just stupid, right? Why else do I struggle so much with academic things…

Wait, what do you mean ADHD gets overlooked in girls because it presents differently than in boys? What?! What do they mean it’s hard?!?! WELL WHY DON’T THEY TRY HARDER?!!

But Why Does No One Talk About Pining Shiro?

I have a bone to pick with the Sheith fandom. Everywhere in this fandom I see Keith freaking out about Shiro, which I will admit is completely canon. But you know what else is canon?

Shiro’s bias for Keith.

I know that it’s seems subtle, but it’s not at the same time. I rewatched Voltron Season 1 and 2 before Season 3 because I noticed that I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to Shiro the first time around. A lot of his lines are pretty generic-leader-type, but during me rewatch, I noticed that his character cues weren’t. So, without further ado, here begins my long meta post about how Shiro is pining after Keith.

Keep reading

There’s a reason complete strangers keep mistaking Sherlock and John for a couple.

Sherlock, being Sherlock, always notices it when people are checking John out. He dislikes it. It makes him feel…panicked. However, John disapproves of him making rude deductions at unsuspecting strangers, so Sherlock has to find a subtler way to deal with such outrageous affronts.

Sherlock leans in close to talk to John, touches his arm to get his attention, smiles at him in a smitten way, steals food off his plate: all those behaviours he has observed in romantic couples. It is excellent; The dull cretins oogling his John invariably sighs in defeat (”Why are all the good ones taken and/or gay?”) and refrains from making any further moves. 

John never notices. After all, Sherlock acts like this all the time, and John is remarkably unobservant.

Then Sherlock and John actually get together, and Sherlock comes to the pleasant realisation that it is no longer necessary for him to be subtle. So the next time a young barista twirls her hair and draws an anatomically-incorrect heart on John’s coffee cup, Sherlock wraps a possessive arm around John, presses a kiss to his hair, and glares at the offending barista over John’s head. 

John turned around, smiling.

“What was that for?”

“You’re very attractive,” Sherlock said primly, all innocence.

John chuckled and slipped his hand into Sherlock’s, and they walked out of the cafe sipping their drinks.

“You know,” sip, “you react to competition like a twelve year old girl.”

Sherlock’s coffee burnt his tongue. He spit it out, spluttering. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean this,” John demonstrated by stroking a hand down Sherlock’s arm exaggeratedly, “and this,” he leans up to breathe heavily into Sherlock’s ear.

“I thought you didn’t notice.”

“Yeah, not at first. But then that time at the Dancing Dragon you stole all the broccoli off my plate while glaring aggressively at the woman at the counter. And you don’t even like broccoli.”

Sherlock frowned heavily, reading to commence the world’s greatest sulk. But John was still talking.

“That’s when I realised,” John stopped and turned to face Sherlock fully, “that you wouldn’t really mind if I just-” 

John put his free hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and snogged him full on the mouth, right there on the busy pavement. Morning commuters swerved to avoid the two of them, stoically ignoring them in that fine London tradition. He could hold up the traffic for once, Sherlock thought dizzily. Mycroft did it all the time.

“Anyway,” said John, clearing his throat and rolling back on his heels. “Just wanted you to know. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. You don’t have any competition. But if you still feel like snogging me in odd places, that’s fine with me.”

“At crime scenes?”

“Not at crime scenes.”

“But you just said-”

“Got to draw the line somewhere, Sherlock.”

~end~


If you fancy you could check out my blog or my AO3. Ta.

@love-in-mind-palace @addignisherlock @johnlock-empire @simpleanddestructivechemistry @consultingeastwind @inneisme

The Tree That Outsmarted Me and Punched Me in the Face

Ok so this one isn’t so much wild as it is ‘Rekina what the heck do you think you’re doing sit down this instant’ kinda deal.

Our story begins back when I worked retail.

Alrighty so quick update. The part of Saskatchewan where I live is flat. I don’t mean mildly ho hum flat I mean flat ok like the nearest slight incline(besides the dump) is nearly a fifteen minute drive. ok flat as a ruler

And because of this intense flatness we get some equally intense wind. The last few days we’ve had winds upwards of 90km (55mph) and that’s a pretty normal seen it all before kind of wind storm. Nothing out of the ordinary. But then sometimes we get even worse winds called plough winds. Now, these are sometimes hurricane force winds ok windy as all get out

These winds make a straight path across the prairies, ripping roofs off, uprooting trees, and causing general havoc ok

there’s a reason they are called plough winds they plough over everything in sight like a bull in a china shop it has zero regard for your average home or retail employee like myself

Plough winds only show their ugly faces during the summer. and in summers I worked in the garden center. 

Now, normal people would stay indoors during winds like this. Common, sesnible people would hunker down and batten down the hatches and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Not me. Not only was I at work

I was outside

That’s right folks yours truly still had to go out and water the plants in winds fast enough to shut down most cities

So there I am in my oversized rain jacket that I was practically swimming in. This thing trailed along the ground it was so big on me. I have my garden hose on and am doing my thing

First of all, do you have any idea how hard it is to water plants when the water comes out of the hose and just kinda shoots off into the distance

It’s an acquired skill to say the least k I was standing like two feet to the side of the plant I actually wanted to water

Now if that wasn’t annoying enough i also have to deal with these jerks of trees

At the back of the center is our tree selection. I’d tied them down with the full stregnth of my scout knot tying knowledge and most of them stayed secure. But there was three little jerks on the very end that would tip over, making me go and pick them up again

This happened every ten seconds.

I would go, water a plant, and then drop everyhting to pick up these stupid trees

I did this for five hours straight

Then one time while I’m picking up a fallen ash, this little apple tree gets cheeky and topples down right on top of my head.

It didn’t hurt, but those leaves are like little whips in the wind my whole face was stinging by the time I got the jerk set up right again

This tree was about to become a very big problem

See when the other trees tipped over they would politely lay in place until i could reach them, still tethered loosely to the pole. But not this apple tree oh no

Little did i know i was dealing with Houdini Incarnated into a tree.

So I’m minding my buisness watering a plant from a distance and I happen to see Houdini take the fall. Except this time something was different. This time it not only fell, but it started to roll

It had somehow jumped the little enclosure and slipped the bonds

Im still pretty chill at this point. The whole center is surrounded by a fence where could it possibily go I’ll just go get it when it hits the fence right?

Wrong.

Because I was dealing with an escape artist ok what happens next had nothing to do with me

See off in one corner we had this pile of manure right near the fence. 

This tree my little Houdini was chugging towards it at full speed, those little leaves were like sails it was just a’cruisin down aisles of bricks. It’s fine tho it’ll hit the manue and–

It hit the manure alright

It rolled up the manure pile 

and over the fence

So now The Little Tree That Could was barreling around on the highway like a phsychotic leafy bat out of hell

My first thought is if that hits someone im so fired

I scream and drop the hose and begin my pursuit because I am not getting fired over an apple tree ok no sire im going down with my dignity

So i do the only logial thing in my head

Most people would run through the open get four feet behind them and calmly make their way to the highway. Not me

I sprinted across the compound, scrambled up the manue pile, and vaulted the fence

For one glorious moment I thought I could fly.

And then I plunged downwards with a very undignified squeal.

Still I splash down into the ditch and prepare to make my heroic capture

Problem: I had just landed chest deep in slough.

For those of you lucky souls who don’t know what a slough is let me explain

A slough is what happens when stagnat water, cow crap, cow piss, and crop fertilizer mix and heat up in the sun. Doesn’t smell good.

And I just landed chest deep in the stuff. Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it

But being the trooper I am i decide I’m going to end this day on a high note and salvage my dignity

I heave myself out of the slough and take off after the tree which is dancing around the thankfully empty highway

Just one issue: Plough Winds tend to change direction

So there I am chasing this freaking apple tree around in circles and it’s winning ok every time I get close to grabbing the trunk of branch the wind throws it in another direction leaving me stumbling like a drunk moose as I try to adjust course 

This goes on for a solid twenty minutes

I’m back and forth across this highway cursing enough to make a sailor blush

And then victory is in sight my fingers graze the trunk and–

the wind stops

The base of the tree is so heavy with water that It sits straight up and whacks me across the face harder than Dwayne Johnson ever could

My momentum throws me forward, my foot catches the pot

and I sail head first into the next slough

I am now covered in disgusting, thick, sticky water and that tree is just taunting me on the road

Eventually I manage to snag the little jerk and I start dragging it back towards the compound like oh yeah who the boss? i’m the boss i caught the tree 

Just as I see  two more trees making a break for it over the fence

It was a long end of shift to say the least

I had a black eye from that tree for a week and a lovely bleeding cut on my forehead. But i caught it and I am still proud of that to this day

Lava

Based off this video because I cannot stop laughing


It had started out as a simple enough dare, Dean and Cas would each get a total of 3 tries per person to try and “kill” the other by telling the other that “the floor is lava.” They would then have five seconds before they had to find a way to get off the ground and scream that the floor was lava to any unsuspecting passerby if there were anyway. There was no prize, not really. Dean just really wanted to beat Cas at something, and Cas didn’t mind if he got bragging rights.

Cas had been first, during a walk in the park between their two college classes on campus. “The floor is lava,” he’d casually said. Dean had not understood until he did, and at which point he only had 3 seconds left and nothing that he could use to get off the ground. Nothing, except, for a trashcan just up the trail. He’d made it with one second to spare.

“The floor is lava!” Dean screamed triumphantly, balancing precariously on the poor trashcan below him. He had managed to get into a crouch before the inevitable happened––when Dean went to get down back onto the ground and rejoin Cas he slipped and wound up wedging his butt straight into the trashcan. Castiel wouldn’t let him forget it for a week.

The next turn had been Dean’s, choosing to wait until Cas and he were on a grocery run to enact his plan.

“Hey, Cas,” he called the other’s attention while they were in the toilet paper aisle. 

“Hm?”

“The floor is lava.” 

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Let me tell you how I out thieved these two thieves at work.

So I work a retail job on top of many other jobs, and these two girls were in and out of my store at least 8 times. Which is sketchy and pretty much a give away that they were quite obviously stealing things, I’d see them stick their hands in their pockets or in their bags, but I was the only person at work today so I couldn’t stop checking people out in order to confront them…..which im sure they noticed.

Fast forward a few hours when they finally come back in, they had decided to purchase something to seem less suspicious. A 4$ pair of pearl earrings. At this point there is no one else in the store so I think Game On.

While they were scanning the shelves for anything else they might want, I’m looking at their pockets. I can clearly see the small ring through the fabric that they swiped earlier, the outline of tags shoved in their back pockets, amateurs.

Now for those of you that don’t know, I was stranded in Ireland for about a month with little to no money after a visit to my mothers went horribly wrong, and had to resort to being shady to get by for a couple of weeks.

Long story short, I am an excellent pick pocket. I only every did it to get some change for the bus, but i’m still not proud of it. But this time I was using my powers for good. 

I followed them around the store pretending to bump into them as I put items back on the shelves, I stole NOT ONLY the product that they took, but everything in their back pockets. Now before you wag your finger at me just hold on a minute. They come to the register to get the one item they decided to pay for, and I’m smiling the whole time.

 I tell them the price and then…I wait. 

The one girl frantically patted her pockets, clearly confused and she looked at the other girl to ask “Where’s my money at?”  This girl is clearly upset at this point and I suggested “Oh hey maybe you dropped it?” in the most sincere retail voice I can force my vocal cords to produce. Her and her friend drop to their knees and start searching for it. I let them continue like that for 10 minutes before I tell them that I had found it earlier and forgotten. 

“You really should be careful the more you have in your pockets the easier it is for your money to fall out :)))))” I say, the statement unnerved them, they didn’t know if i KNEW or not. But they awkwardly shook it off with a laugh and I start to ring up the earrings again. BUT THIS TIME, I reach over the counter and start to ring up the items I had taken from their pockets. I dropped the tags on the counter and the merchandise hit the table hard, just like these girls mouths hit the floor. 

You should have seen their faces it looked like someone had sucked the very essence right from their bodies. “Oh no she did not.” The one girl whispered as she checked her pockets yet again. Yes, Yes I did :) i’m beaming, their reaction added ten years to my lifespan. They apologize, laughing it off like it was a funny joke. But I’m not done yet.This time I look them dead in the eyes and go “Would you like me to ring out whats in your bags too before security gets here?” 

Shock, pure dismay and anguish come over them, they look at each other. Each of them looks at me like I personally came and shot their dogs. I AM LIVING, I’m reveling in the situation. Slowly, they lift their bags and dump out more products than Mary Poppins could shove in her bottomless purse. I start ringing it all up. They look horrified. A total of 400$ worth of items. I hold the fate of these girls in my hands and they know it. Over 200$ is a felony larceny charge. But I think they have suffered enough and jail is not fun so I present the ultimatum. 

“You buy it all and I’ll let you go.” 

and that is how I made all my sales goals and fucked with some shoplifters. 

aftertaste // stilinski twins

Summary: Y/N’s forced to deal with the consequences of her actions while her boyfriend, Stuart, is away for the summer

Requested: no, collab with @rememberstilinski

Characters: Stiles, Stuart & Y/N

Warning: yes, mature language, themes & smut

Masterlist

As soon as she stepped onto the driveway the sun started heating her skin, drowning her in warmth. Adjusting the two backpack straps around her shoulders, she reached into her back pocket for the list she had made the night before.

“You sure you have everything you need?” She asked as she reread the slightly crumbled piece of paper in her hand, marking off the little checklist she had made for her boyfriend one last time before helping him load his bags into the trunk.

The sun reflected off of the lenses of his thick rimmed glasses as a small smirk made its way onto his face.

“Babe-” Stuart groaned, a giggle following as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend’s torso, resting his chin on her shoulder. “I said I’m good.” He assured her.

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“She should cut her nails” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The men of the Justice League tease Batman about the scratches on his back, and the love bites on his chest…Bruce is not amused.

Just a silly fic cause why not. Wrote it in literally fifteen minutes because I was bored, and didn’t proofread (as usual really) so it’s quite meh, hope you’ll still like it though :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

I wrote some sort of part two to this, it’s here if you’re interested : “Bruce…sucks !”

__________________________________________________

Bruce could feel their gaze on his back. He knew they were smiling like idiots behind him, and he heard them giggle a few times, like goddamned teenagers.

He finally turned around to face his fellow Justice League members, that had been staring at him for the past hour. They were in the men shower room of the headquarter, and the fact that they were all half-dressed made them look even more ridiculous, with their idiotic smile on their faces.

Hell, even J’onn was snickering with them ! Bruce would expect from Clark, Oliver, Barry and maybe Arthur to laugh like nitwits, but J’onn ? He thought he was better than this.

And yet, here he was, grinning at the Batman like a moron.

-What ?

Bruce asked a bit coldly, even though he already knew what was going on.

Clark answered, a sly smile on his stupid handsome face :

-We were just wondering…When did you got those scratches on your back ? Like, which villain inflicted you such terrible wounds ?

Bruce rolled his eyes. By now, Barry and Oliver couldn’t hold their laughter, though the look the Bat gave them stopped them cold in their track. Damn that man could be intimidating, even for them…Bruce, glaring at them, went on :

-Are you guys fifteen ?

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advice for incoming high school freshmen

i’ve seen a lot of these posts but none of them really aligned with my experience. so here it is, how to survive freshman year from one of many sophomores in this community. please take everything here with a grain of salt. 

before school starts: 

  • you will not need nearly as many notebooks as you think you do. please, save yourself the time and money and hold off on buying them until you know how many you need. 
  • try not to get stuck in the school’s mindset of what classes you need. for example, most freshmen in my school (on a trimester system) take Bio 1, Chem 1, then Chem 2. i took all of those classes, but i really didn’t need to take bio 1 because i’m planning to complete my bio credits with AP Bio (and also bio is one of my stronger subjects). chem 1 and 2 are the only prerequisites for AP Bio, so what i should have done was drop Bio 1 and take a fine arts class instead to fill up those requirements. tl;dr: play to your strengths and don’t listen to the school when they tell you something is “highly recommended”.
  • if you’re doing a sport, please know when you have to turn in paperwork to play. don’t miss the deadline or put off your physical. 

when school starts: 

  • try not to pack too much in your backpack on the first day. paper, writing utensils, a jacket, water (reusable bottles will save your life), your lunch/money, and your student id!!! (very important) should cut it.
  • take a picture of your schedule on your phone. if you get a map mark where your classes are and take a pic of that too. chances are that flimsy piece of paper dictating your entire day will get torn, crumpled or lost. i’ve seen people say it looks horribly freshman-like if you carry around your schedule all day, if that’s a thing you worry about. 
  • if you get a class you don’t like (that’s not a required class), switch out of it asap. don’t try and suffer through it for the credits. it will suck. 
  • it’s not a big deal if you need to drop or raise a level. do what’s best for your gpa. don’t feel horribly inferior if there are freshmen taking 2 APs when you’re taking none (like me) because they probably took classes over the summer. they’re not geniuses, i promise.
  • PLEASE, try not to carry too much stuff in your backpack. at my school we don’t have lockers and my shoulders suffered because i thought i could bring a 1L bottle, three reading books, my thick jacket, and two large pencil case along with all my school stuff. 
  • YOUR SCHOOL ID IS YOUR LIFELINE. try your best not to lose it, and if you do, replace it as soon as possible. 
  • if you have the extra money, buying two sets of pe clothes is incredibly helpful. trust me on this. 
  • don’t stress too much, it’s really not as bad as it seems.

once school is well underway:

  • don’t freak out if you do badly on a test. one of my friends got a d on her midterm and ended up having an a in the class. you’ll have time to pull it up. 
  • at the same time, don’t slack either. people say freshman grades aren’t that important, especially if you show improvement in later years, but don’t let your grades go to the dogs. freshman year is the time to build good habits, and colleges really like to see unweighted 4.0s (or so i’ve heard)
  • be nice to your teachers. even if they’re demon spawn. my friend had a much nicer time than i did with our hellish english teacher simply because she talked to her a lot while i barely spoke at all. if your teachers like you they might be more willing to round your grade up or give you extra credit work. 
  • do your best to always be prepared and have your stuff with you. it’s not fun having to ask around for stuff. 
  • join some clubs. it helps with meeting new people and finding things you love. if they have competitions, it doesn’t look bad on your resume if you win any. 
  • if your school offers the PSAT to freshmen, take it. it’s a good way to look at where you are versus where you want to be come junior year when you’re eligible for the NMSQT. 
  • volunteer! get those hours in when you still have time. weekends are great if you aren’t too busy then. 
  • try to have the phone number of at least one person in each of your classes. group chats are also great, because people aren’t online all the time and you can ask a bunch of people for help all at once. don’t let them distract you, though. a lot of my group chats like to wander off topic and talk about other things. 

when studying: 

  • homework is gonna take a lot longer than it did in middle school. utilize the time you have effectively and do what it takes to make sure you’re ready to get to work. for example, one of my friends would always nap right after school for a few hours, and then do her homework later. i usually grab a snack and go on my phone for a few minutes to revitalize. 
  • if you have time during school, try doing your homework then. you’ll still be in the school mindset and people will be around for you to ask for help. 
  • try not to stay up past midnight. you really won’t need to, and you’ll be glad for the extra sleep. if you have to choose between finishing a small math assignment or going to sleep early for a test tomorrow, take the hit for the assignment and get some sleep. 

people and relationships: 

  • dating in freshman year tends to be quite ephemeral. if you don’t, good for you. no one will judge you. if you do, good for you. don’t prioritize it though, and be prepared for your friends to constantly tease you about it. 
  • don’t date people older than you, especially seniors. i know this has been said a thousand times, but for good reason. please. do not. 
  • making friends with people in higher grades is always a good thing, though! in my experience, juniors love freshmen and are probably the easiest to make friends with. they’re really good if you need some advice and you don’t have to worry about them leaving next year. seniors will honestly not care about you unless you see them often. sophomores have a reputation of bullying freshmen (at least in my school), but a lot of them are nice and will be in some of your classes. 
  • for me, high school actually had more drama than middle school. don’t be afraid to drop friends and don’t be worried if you lose any; you’ll make better ones later. 
  • a lot of the kids in my middle school went to a different high school, so i was basically starting from Ground Zero regarding friends. don’t be too concerned if you don’t click with people right away; i found most of my current friends during the second and third trimesters. 

other stuff:

  • bring a charger or a power bank to school if you know you’re gonna need it. you’ll be able to charge your phone during class (if your teacher is ok with it) and if you ask around for one chances are you won’t get it. 
  • bring snacks. most teachers are pretty chill about you snacking during class, and it’s better to have your own stuff than mooch off your friends.
  • the rules are more flexible. you can use your phone in class depending on the teacher, they even let you listen to music while they’re teaching if you have earbuds. 
  • go to the dances if you want. i didn’t go to any because i’m lazy and also i like to spend my money on other things, but a lot of my friends consider it an important part of the high school experience. football games can be fun too, even if you don’t like football (like me). there’ll be band and cheer and dance if you’re into that, and you can also hang out with your friends (the ones from the school your school is playing too!) and eat really unhealthy snacks. same with pep rallies, except no food. 
  • if your school has a newsletter or weekly news videos, pay attention to them. they usually have important information on where new clubs are meeting, spirit weeks, deadlines, events, etc. 
  • everyone is really spirited the first month or so and then after that they don’t care. follow their lead. 
  • talk to your teachers if you need help. they’ll do their best to work something out for you. 
  • there’s gonna be that one person who thinks the world revolves around them and gets on your nerves. chances are everyone else hates them too. be nice to them, but don’t hang around them. 
  • you’re not alone. everyone else is just as worried as you. have fun, and don’t sweat it. 
Hello Autumn | Tom Holland

Summary: Tom Holland and the reader spend the fall together, doing fun fall activities and spending time with family. All the while, Tom’s family pesters him about his unplanned future with the reader…

Warning: fluffiness

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Type: Oneshot

Requested: anonymously 

A/N: Just to let you all know, I combined two requests together for this oneshot. One request was for the reader and Tom to do fun fall activities together and the other was about the entire family pestering Tom about his future with the reader. I combined them because I thought it would make a better story arch. Anyways…enjoy!

MASTERLIST


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