did i get the quote right

parallels in Hamilton that DESTROYED me when I realized them
  • “Eliza!” / “And her eyes are just/(helpless)/and I realize three fundamental truths at the exact same time.”
    • As Angelica’s thoughts shift from her own feelings to her sister’s, her words (“eyes,” “realize,” “I”) start to aurally evoke the name Eliza. How crazy is that?
    • cf. “…and my time’s up/wise up/eyes up…” “rise up/rise up/rise up/Eliza!” Just goes to show how similarly Alexander and Angelica think and process. Which leads me to my next point…
  • "He will never be satisfied. I will never be satisfied” / “That would be enough.”
    • It illustrates so clearly the dynamics of the Alexander/Angelica/Eliza triangle.
  • “I made every mistake.” / “You did everything just right.”
  • “There’s a lake I know/in a nearby park/you and I can go/when the night gets dark.” / “See them walking in the park/long after dark/taking in the sights of the city.”
    • THIS ONE KILLED ME. I only realized today. Eliza finally gets what she wanted, but in the worst possible way.
  • “Raise a glass to freedom.” (Laurens) / “Raise a glass to freedom.” (Hamilton)
    • GUYS????? WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT HAMILTON’S LAST WORDS ARE HIM QUOTING JOHN LAURENS FROM THEIR YOUNG, IDEALISTIC REVOLUTIONARY DAYS? LAURENS, WHO DIED 22 YEARS BEFORE? I’m not even a big Lams fan, but if that’s not a love story–

tl;dr: Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius. Give him all the awards.

Originally posted by shawnhollenbach

EDITED TO INCLUDE LINK TO PART 2: [x]

anonymous asked:

Hi! New around here... May I ask what do you like about Madancy? Mads sure seems to fancy Mr. Dancy, Hugh.. not so much )=

My dear sweet baby fannibal, I need to stop you right there. 

Since you say you’re new, I’ll help you out.

“Well, it came about because one of the things that was very important was that Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter have a likeability, not only on screen but with each other. The fact that Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelsen are very good friends in real life cinched the deal, in my mind. That was important because I knew it was going to translate to screen. We wanted the audience to like these two men liking each other.” — Bryan Fuller on how he ended up casting Mads Mikkelsen (x)

“Hugh Dancy was the first actor cast and that made the project all that more appetizing for Mads Mikkelsen, who knew Hugh and worked with him in the past and rightfully adored him.— Bryan Fuller (x)”

“Me and Hugh (Dancy) were two of the knights (in King Arthur). So we were sitting for half a year on horseback and we became friends way back then. It’s just been a gift. We’re doing a show like this where you’re working so close together. It’s nice to be comfortable with each other, and that was just a gift that it turned out to be me and Hugh”— Mads Mikkelsen 

“Mads is a remarkable combination of things. He’s more than capable of fighting for what he wants. He’s amazing.”— Hugh Dancy

“Well obviously what I’m going to miss is just sitting down in a chair and having chit-chats with Hugh Dancy.” — Mads Mikkelsen on Hannibal S3 (x)

“It’s great. The very first time we sat down, talked about the show, Mads came up at the conversation. I worked with Mads nine years ago now on ‘King Arthur’. Completely different. Could not be more different. But during that period I got to know him and really like him. As a man as an actor. And had followed his career ever since then. I knew it was going to be great. That relationship is so complicated and interesting. It has to be believable. That’s one of the highlights of the show for me.” — Hugh Dancy

“So, spending that much time with a fellow actor, as I knew I would do with Hugh, it was just a fantastic gift that we knew each other. We are not only in the room, but to a degree, we have to be emotionally naked in certain situations.” — Mads Mikkelsen spoke about friendship with Hugh and cast (x)

(Mads Mikkelsen from Red Dragon Con, post)

(Hugh Dancy, The Path interview, post)

He’s worked with the actor Hugh Dancy previously and agrees that such a genuine friendship lends something special to their on screen relationship. “It was a great gift for both of us, that we were able to spend some much time together on the show. We were kind of in a boat of insecurity from the beginning, but it was nice to have a friend there, if you go down or you stay up. To be able to be comfortable with someone in a room, day in, day out of filming, 12 hours a day, was an extreme gift for both of us. We found a way of working together really fast. Hopefully I’ll get to spend time with him during the third season as well, but if not I’ll just have to go drink some beers with him!” — Mads Mikkelsen (x)

“I would say an actor like Mads, but there aren’t any, there’s just Mads.” — Hugh Dancy during the SAG Foundation interview (x).

And finally:

“Collaboration with Mads, who I love, who’s a wonderful actor and incredible partner in that respect “ — Hugh Dancy on what the show means to him

Hugh has become one of my very, very, very good friends. We knew each other from before, but it’s been so intense to spend three seasons together. I was there when he had his first little baby. It’s been a fantastic journey. We were just very, very lucky that we ended up with each other. Imagine if we had ended up with someone we didn’t like.” — Mads Mikkelsen (post)

Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy are friends. I’m not sure where you got the impression that they aren’t or that one dislikes the other.

Mads likes Hugh. 

Hugh likes Mads. 

They’re friends.

And their amazing chemistry and friendship (and various aesthetic reasons) is why I ship the fleet of ships that belong to Hugh and Mads and their characters.

So, after all of this, if you’re interested in some more Mads and Hugh liking each other and goofing around together goodies, check out my tag ‘danish crumpet’.

The first time Damian gets kidnapped as Bruce Wayne's son

Thugs over video feed: “Okay man, just remember you have 24 hours to deliver the money or else the kid dies 

Bruce: "All right, but first I just want to talk to him please I need to know my little baby is okay *wipes away very convincing Fake Tear™* 

*camera pans to Damian, who’s tied to a chair but seems totally chill with the situation and even gives an evil grin when he sees Bruce* 

Bruce (yelling dramatically): "OH NO MY DARLING CHILD ARE YOU OKAY??”

Bruce (furiously whispering): “Don’t you dare hurt them do you hear me young man" 

"DID YOU GET BOO BOOS?? DO YOU HAVE ANY BROKEN BONES?? OH MY GOD DID THEY TOUCH YOU DID THEY STEAL YOUR INNOCENCE REMEMBER NO MEANS NO DAMIAN YOU NEED TO FIGHT BACK AND STAY STRONG UNTIL WE COME RESCUE YOU OKAY" 

"If you try to fight back at all I swear to god you’re grounded for a month when you get back" 

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER COULD KIDNAP A CHILD YOU HEARTLESS FIENDS CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S JUST A BOY" 

"Please don’t kill them" 

Hospital Starters
  • [ Requested by Anon about a week ago. Warnings for blood, suicidal thoughts, and medical stuff. Thanks! : ]
  • "Hey, you're awake!"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "You hit your head. There was so much blood that I got scared."
  • "Don't try to get up. You're safe here."
  • "I hate this place..."
  • "How could you do this to yourself?"
  • "The world didn't give me a choice, and now, I'm suffering even more!"
  • "You really came..."
  • "I told you I would be here when you woke up."
  • "How many tests did they do on you?"
  • "If I wasn't drugged up, I could tell you the names of every test they do in this place."
  • "When are they going to let you leave?"
  • "They said that I'll be here for a few days. Maybe a week."
  • "What happened to you? You have so many things sticking out of you."
  • "That's what happens when you're dying."
  • "It's probably time to change those bandages..."
  • "You aren't in pain, are you?"
  • "You were in an accident. You almost didn't make it."
  • "That would explain why I feel terrible."
  • "I thought you were dead..."
  • "I'm not dead, am I?"
  • "I didn't know it was this bad..."
  • "I may not live much longer..."
  • "I'm dying..."
  • "You can't die! There has to be something they can do!"
  • "I'm too far gone for any surgery to fix me."
  • "I want you to know that I'll miss you most."
  • "Don't say that! I don't like it when you talk like this..."
  • "I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it all the time."
  • "I wanted to say goodbye to you one more time."
  • "If you don't get some sleep, I'm going to hit this button and tell a nurse you're bothering me."
  • "Don't abuse that call button!"
  • "You know that button only works every five seconds, right?"
  • "Maybe if I push it hard enough, more will come out."
  • "I get to come home today."
  • "Did you fill out the release forms yet?"
  • "They hooked me up with a bunch of prescriptions. I'm gonna be high as a kite."
history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

  • Soldier-76: What are you two Barbies crying about?
  • Reinhardt: What the-?!
  • Mercy: Jack? We thought you were dead!
  • Soldier-76: Nonsense. I was merely napping.
  • Reinhardt: But how did you get out of there? I tied you up and poured concrete on the grave! Just in case you came back as a zombie.
  • Soldier-76: Yes, but you made one crucial mistake. You left me with my spoon.
  • Reinhardt: No!
  • Soldier-76: That’s right! I ate my way out. The soft earth was like a delicious butterscotch brownie to me.
  • Submitted by ironicsnap
What’s Love Got to Do With it?

Your opinions are so interesting… So I ask you, what you think about Furuta’s love for Rize? What was revealed recently with Mutsuki makes me think they are same in a some way, I mean a twisted love and unhealthy obsession in a one-sided.
Asked by Anonymous

An interesting question posed to me in an ask that I’ve decided to turn into a full meta because I think the asker is missing that Furuta and Mutsuki are not the only ones with unrequited love this arc. Luckily I’ve drawn up a chart.

Why all of this unrequited love all of a sudden? Is it because Ishida wishes to write a Shoujo manga with corpses, and has decided to convert the last arc into one? It goes deeper than that, so let’s analyze it under the cut. 

Keep reading

The Signs As Quotes From My History Teacher

Aries: “I don’t have feelings.”

Taurus: “I don’t cry myself to sleep at night”

Gemini: “Bill Gates is making it rain”

Cancer: “I don’t have a life. I’ll just making cartoons for you, Tim”

Leo: “Tim, what have you done for me?”

Virgo: “I only make $20000 a year but Mr. Parks wins the lottery makes 30 mil in one day”

Libra: “if I won the lottery, I wouldn’t quit right away, I would come in, tell everyone how I really feel, and get escorted off campus”

Scorpio: *deadpan* “I am a talented basketball player”

Sagittarius: (student-*sarcasm* you’re so positive) “I - I’m sorry?”

Capricorn: (student-Did you yell) “uh.. define yell - I, I raised my voice”

Aquarius: “I’ll give you my reason for why I think we threw Korea in the trash can”

Pieces: “how do you know I don’t wanna duel Ms. Dumais?”

How could you miss!?

Playing the first game of a homebrew version of the Pokemon Tabletop United my buddy set up. There’s Daliah with her Dratini, Lynette with Piplup, Johnny (me) with Cubone, and our GM in charge of five (5) Pidgey I stirred up on Route One. Daliah managed to catch one, three were scared off, and the last one I was trying to catch for myself.

Johnny:  "Cubone use Bone Club again!“ *rolls attack*

DM:  “Ya know, I’m gonna give that to ya cuz it’s paralyzed … and it’s knocked out.”

J (ooc):  ”So I get a mercy catch right?“

DM:  "You catch it”

J:  *rolls anyway* …. [Nat 1]

[The party laughs]

DM:  *distracted*  “Wait, what did you do?”

Daliah (ooc):  “He rolled a one.”

DM:  “You could have walked up to it and bopped it, but you had to roll …”

10

Peraltiago Week

[Day 6: Favourite Quotes]

Hey, I don’t get it. Why did you decide to let me win?

I don’t know. When we were back there racing through the Miranda rights, I just looked over at you and thought, “You’re awesome and you’re good at doing things.” I mean, sure, I’ll miss towel but your happiness is worth way more than winning some stupid bet.

Do you ever read things in reaper76 fanfics that makes you so …!!!!! and then you close the fic bc you had enough?

The amount of fics that always portray Gabriel only as “sexy latino god”, “hot latino”, “spicy latino" who speak a sinful language is huge.

Don’t get me started on how some folks portray him as a sexual predator who is after Jack “golden angel, too good too pure for this world, did nothing wrong” Morrison.

That’s fucking racism right there. I’m honestly to god tired of whites portraying latinx people as dirty little things that they can fetishize and then turn around and write their white faves as “helpless, innocent, pure people”, like we are corrupting them.

And then there’s the blind!Jack trope that is also so disrespectful. Not only to  visually impaired people but also to us latinx? Fics where Jack “educate” Gabriel?

Oh yes Jack please educate this poor ignorant latino who don’t know what blindness is. The way ppl portray blindness is so inaccurate and cringeworthy too

Edit: I didn’t want to edit this post, but people are really twisting my words here and trying to deflect  what i said and make it about the blind trope. Stop please.

This is about the racism.

anonymous asked:

What inspired the start of incorrect marauder quotes?

The year was 2015 and incorrect quote blogs were all the rage.  I had recently left an rp group that I’d been with for a long time and was feeling pretty down about myself, fandom-contribution-wise.  It was 2am, I was bored, and I decided to look for an HP incorrect quote blog - there weren’t any active.  This seemed ridiculous to me, it’s Harry Potter, we need one of these blogs.  So I thought “Hey, I’m minorly witty, I could start one!”  

(but, like, a marauder one, bc idgaf about the other eras) (okay I give a little fuck but still)

So I did.  I figured I’d get a few followers, so when I got 100 overnight I was overjoyed.  Now here we are, two years and 120K+ followers later and it looks I was right about the fandom needing some funny quotes.

Lafayette: Mon ami are you alright?

Hercules: Yeah you seem to be limping, did you get injured during battle?

Laurens: Oh no, I’m fine I just didn’t sleep right last night that’s all.

Alexander:*walks over to Laurens puts his arms around his waist* Hey Laurens last night was amazing we should do it again sometime.

Laurens: *blushes*

I am king now, I am gone
For a moment, there is nothing wrong 

do we ever think about the hearts we break? i still feel bits of you in my hands, i still feel warmth of you in my veins. my apologizes are wrapped into bottles of alcohol you drink in hopes to forget. maybe one day time will work in our favor. i left one last piece of my love into your arms and took one last piece of your dreams into my heart. do we know real absence until we lose the one we love? we still write promises into every step we take. we still kiss stars into every lullaby we whisper. do we ever think of each other? maybe at the same time, maybe into different fractions, maybe never, maybe too fast, maybe too late. these maybes are getting me crazy. maybe i miss you maybe i don’t. maybe you love me maybe you never did. i can’t think straight. the light is gone, the truth has run wild, the words are useless. the lies hurt less when we spin them around us pretending not to see, the truth hurts more when our heart is blind. when do we think when it’s too early or too late? will there ever be a right time for us?
—  k.m
What Happened w/ SS

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Normal, right. Just a random person complaining about a name they don’t like. Most just ignore it and move on. I pitched in and said basically what the first person said, “Once it leaves your lair, it’s not yours. Naming before you sell can help.”

The second I jump in, they complain some more and I send another explanation. Right before I hit send, I get this ping.

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Huh? So I go back and revise my original message as so:

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Okay? I literally don’t care and I guess we’re ignoring the fact that you just wrongly claim that I’M the one buying your ugly dragons and exalting them. Like I’d waste my time/money on ya.

I bring up the quote from them saying that I did all this and ask them to quit pinging me.

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Yeah, I could’ve been nicer, but at this point I’m just really done with this conversation and don’t have the patience for it. After this, I get three pings in a row saying that pings don’t hurt me and I need to get over it and they’re gonna ping me all they like, so I replied naturally.

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(Cornpops joke because they’re upset over their dragon being named Cornpops.)

They continue whining to others in their thread for a bit while maintaining that I’m the big bad wolf even though I didn’t buy their dumb dragons.

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At this point, I take a stroll through their lair and notice a lovely orca/mulberry/periwinkle RB who I buy and name “LUCKYCHARMS”. Not out of spite, actually, I’m going to keep her and breed fodder w/ her. Think I’ll name her mate “COCOAPUFFS”.

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They obviously notice as they go absolutely batshit. The following images just speak for themselves.

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Comments left on my userpage:

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So, in the end, like 3 different threads of theirs got deleted for being obviously rude and harassing others (all on the topic of “WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIND WHO EXALTS OUR DRAGONS”) but you know what? I’m feeling pretty lucky.

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Since the Oscars are on Sunday and one of the internet’s boyfriends Ryan Gosling is nominated (but won’t win), I thought I’d update this post here on the lowkey cuteness of Baby Goose’s relationship with his lady of over five six years, Eva Mendes.

As I said before, this is mostly because folks like to pretend, 5+ years and two kids later, that his relationship with Miss Eva is just a fling, or he’s been “trapped” and some go as far as to hope, yes, HOPE, that he will cheat on his gal with Emma Stone or Rachel McAdams or whomever. So since I don’t see this level of disrespect stopping Sunday night or ever, I thought I’d give some love to Ryan’s actual lady love, whether she shows up with him at the Oscars or not (PLEASE SHOW UP, EVA). They are actual low key couple goals.

1. Ryan basically insisted on Eva for the role of his ex in The Place Beyond the Pines, saying Eva, at the time a casual acquaintance/friend of several years and mutual friend of his former co-star Kirsten Dunst, was underrated as an actress. Soon, he took her to Disney and it was on. They both would later say it was one of the best experiences they had on a film.

2. …he clearly was playing the long game on that set, LOOK AT HIS FACE 

Look at him, even when she wasn’t looking, boy was smitten 

3. He took his shot with an admirable quickness

Real quick. And the rest was history.

4. HEIGHT DIFFERENCE AND THE SMILING

5. No, really, she’s little. Standing on a big step in heels and yet still small

THEY’RE CUTE, OKAY. YOU LOVE THIS KIND OF SHIT, TUMBLR.

6. AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER WHEN SHE’S NOT LOOKING

7. Here’s Ellen getting Eva all blushing and giggling talking about Ryan

Eva’s also hella adorable and hilarious on her own, but I digress.

8. Ryan’s SNL shout out 

9. People trying to act like he’s not in a relationship? Ryan had an app for that

“I know that I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with,” he says, adding that the only quality he looks for in a woman is “that she’s Eva Mendes. There’s nothing else I’m looking for.”

10.  Both dog lovers, Ryan wears Eva’s late dog’s tag on his neck at an event

She also reps his dog on her instagram 

11. They share the same sense of humor, and are both huge fans of Atlanta and Broad City (Eva follows the BC girls on insta, and Ryan would quote BC on twitter. Constantly).

12. Ryan on Eva and their kids:

“…it’s like a dream that I’m having right now. I’m dreaming it all. So I feel so lucky…There was nothing kind of premeditated about it, you know. It just suddenly was: My life had changed. And thank God it did.”

And this, as he continues to say a lot with so little

“It sounds so clichéd, but I never knew that life could be this fun and this great.”

Aaaaand

When I ask him if he gets lonely, he says: “Not any more.”

Why not? “Because I have a family.” That takes it away? “Mmm-hmm.” But you’ve felt loneliness before? “In my life? Yeah.” When? Why? “I think, before I had a family.”

Ryan also appears to be close with Eva’s sister Janet.

13. Eva wears his clothes.

14. He gave her an emerald ring after the birth of their daughter Esmeralda. The Spanish word for emerald is…Esmeralda.

Eva has also spoken of how they play a lot of Latin music in their home and their insistence on keeping Eva’s culture in their daughters’ lives.

15. Ryan has engaged in a turf war with his daughter against other kids over Eva and Esmeralda’s “honor:”

“Some kid has been erasing [Esmeralda’s] name and writing their name over it. So now I’m in a proper tagging battle. And this kid has access to an unfair amount of chalk. I’m trying to explain to my little girl that this is [unacceptable]. She doesn’t care. She’s like, ‘Well let’s just chalk anywhere else,’ and I’m like, ‘No, no. They’re disrespecting your mother. Because, she gave you this name and they’re erasing it.’ You’ve got to be careful when you’re trying to teach your kid what a reasonable amount of vengeance is.” 

He appears to be very protective of Eva in general, even defending her over a bad joke she made about sweatpants.

16. Ryan constantly gives Eva her due, even when she doesn’t like it:

[’On the making of his directorial debut Lost River] “She hates credit and she’ll even be mad that I’m giving her that credit. But she was very helpful in so many ways.”

And he shared how she was responsible for one of the best lines out of La La Land:

“’LA worships everything and values nothing.’ That was something my lady said to me one day and I thought it was so funny I asked her if I could put it in the movie. She was kidding, but it’s a funny thing to say… I loved when she said it, because it’s funny enough to have some truth to it, you know? But it’s obviously a joke, so it just seemed appropriate for the movie.”

17. This adorable pic, taken at Ryan’s childhood home in Canada:

18. Possible ring situation happening here? How private they are compared to other celebrities, we’ll never know!

19. He really loves his family:

Are you rich, I ask him, halfway through our interview.

“What do you mean?” Gosling asks.

I’m not sure the question needs elaboration, but OK: do you consider yourself rich? Do you feel rich?

He pauses. “I mean, I live with angels,” he says eventually. “So. You know.”

What do you mean, you “live with angels”?

“My daughters” (Gosling has two children, a two-year-old and a nine-month-old) “My girl.” (The actress Eva Mendes, Gosling’s partner, the mother of his children.) “I don’t need anything else.”

20. And, of course, Ryan’s Golden Globes speech, where he acknowledges Eva’s silent, hard work behind the scenes, and honors her late brother:

So that’s it for this long-ass, long-winded post! That’s the last time I’m doing something like this!

Good luck at the Oscars, Ryan, you won’t win but hopefully you’ll have a good night! And hopefully with Eva! Never break up, ya crazy kids!

I don’t like saying this just as much as you don’t like hearing it, but we’re back here again.

I just read this quote on twitter today by SM and I’m going off. Bear with me.

Did SM really say “[…] we decided to help them” to Super Junior? 

Are you kidding me? What exactly did you do? I’m seriously asking. What did you do to help them? You can’t even spell their album name right.  

You were the first ones to believe they would fail. That’s why you put them in that stupid ‘graduate the group’ system until you realized how popular they were getting and eliminated that strategy. Why have a strategy like that in the first place? Because you wanted to get rid of them. With each member “graduating” you could get rid of them faster, tell them you kept your promise to debut them, and after that they would no longer be your responsibility. 

However, when they starting attracting a lot of fans, you actually gave them some attention. That whole “stardom to asia” was real but I doubt you actually believed in it. That was probably a promotional strategy. But then when they actually started being the stars of asia, you started taking it seriously because you realized holy shit these guys are gaining popularity every day. The only time and reason you started giving a shit about them in between somewhere was because they started having a huge fanbase that would bring you a lot of money. ELF actually had to buy shares in your company so that you would treat Super Junior fairly, and you’re telling me that you helped them? 

Aside from what you HAD to do as a entertainment company (with a contract) how exactly did you help them? It’s not “helping” when you have a trade off through a contract. This way you’re “helping” EACH OTHER. You make them idols. They bring you money. A trade off (which you initially benefited from more than them because of your unfair treatment). 

You had one of their members wear a mask when performing (and yeah sure there were legal and contract issues) but how did you HELP him after when everything was settled? What counselling did you provide him with after he went through all that shit and became insecure and lost his confidence? Nothing. Instead, you continued to treat him unfairly and so he left. Moreover, what counselling did you provide Leeteuk when he was dealing with depression and became suicidal? You did not do shit. You told him to deal with it and get over it because it was none of your business that he was depressed and suicidal. The military suggested that he discharge early because of the illness but you said no, he had to stay (so if he died there then so be it). How did you help them?

Leeteuk is your biggest potential for a future national MC and you are always up his ass about working hard to be a good MC because you know he has that potential, but you don’t even give a shit about his mental health. He is fighting through it thanks to group activities and talking to the rest of the members. That experience damaged him so much that he has dedicated some of himself to helping other idols and people deal with depression and suicide. But no, you tell me how you help them?

You didn’t “help” them by making them debut, giving them comebacks, albums, and etc. I am very thankful that you did because I would not be here today if you had not debuted them and given them comebacks. But, those are thing you HAD to do as a company who already had a contract with them. 

They are EXPECTED. 

I bet the reason you gave SJ a label of their own is mainly to tie them down to you so they wouldn’t leave in the future, like Shinhwa did. Maybe I’m wrong and you really did give them a label because you care about them but with the way things have been in the past you can’t blame me for being skeptical. 

You want to help Super Junior? Start by treating them fairly. You want to help them? Invest at least some of the money they earned for you back into them instead of everyone else EXCEPT them. They are one of the top 2-3 groups that earn you the most money and you can’t even give them a proper album cover or reasonable time for promotions. But you can’t do that because like the high school teacher and professor everyone hates, you play favourites. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Super Junior is your most neglected group despite their huge success.

SM, you’ve done for Super Junior what you were obligated to do as a entertainment company and based on a contract. Nothing more. You’ve treated them more unfairly than fair. Do you not notice that when they often thank us, ELF, before they thank you? But, by all means, tell me how you helped them? 

I’m not ungrateful towards SM for all the good that they HAVE done for Super Junior. I sincerely thank them for it. But to say you helped them must be a joke because I’m still laughing.