did i get the dialogue right

Here’s the full transcript of Mark talking Darkiplier in the livestream

(Time approx. 3 hours, 52 minutes to 4 hours, 4 minutes into the stream. And, yes, this took forever). Thought you’d like this, maybe.

I’ve bolded stuff I find especially interesting.

~~~~~~~

Mark: Long ago, a long time ago, I liked to do these scary edits because I just felt like doing scary edits and this is how Darkiplier got born. And then what happened was over time Darkiplier became less and less about the scary figure and more about this romantic figure, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. And I kind of shied away from Darkiplier for a while. And I really really really- if I was going to bring Darkiplier, and when we thought about this, we thought, okay there should be a Darkiplier route. And that was there from the beginning, and so when I wanted to do it I wanted to do it my way, and I wanted to do it right, and I wanted to have this unending level of creepiness. And at the same time, I didn’t want to step on the toes of Antisepticeye because I know there’s a big fan base of that, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that at all and I really don’t care that there’s more than one dark personalities of people. But when I saw the opportunity to have this character here, I spent like 8 hours editing this, like just meticulously every single RBG. This is a layer, we green screened this one, I color corrected it, I separated the RBG layers I added the shakes and glitchiness every frame. I worked on the voice, too. The voice took me the longest to figure out. Like the shakes! And my computer was dying this whole time cause I put my effects on here.

Tyler: The amount of time you had to spend rendering this.

Mark: And so, the audio’s actually three separate layers. It would have been two, but Kathryn helped me out on that one to make it more clear. It’s a normal pitched layer that’s edited, echoed, reverbed, mastered, and convoluted which means it’s just thrown off to the left and right, and then it’s a deep layer of that. But then to make it really come together- it didn’t live without this center channel that wasn’t convoluted but was centered. But getting that voice right was so pinnacle, so paramount to what I wanted to come out of this. And we did like thirty minutes of shooting various versions of me talking to the camera and I wanted to pick the exact dialogue that really kind of gave away my idea of what Dark is in not a terribly obvious way.

Tyler: The other thing, this was supposed to all be one video.

Mark: But YouTube annotations, this new version doesn’t allow you to link the same video multiple times, so these are literally the old videos that I first did when Darkiplier first came about, like, these are the ones, especially this one here, and then this is my cheap knockoff Darkiplier.

Amy: Canon Darkiplier.

Mark: Canon Darkiplier. And I’m going to readily admit something. I joked about Darkiplier because it didn’t seem like something people wanted to take seriously, and I’m okay with that on certain aspects but it had diverged into multiple different facets and multiple different personalities, and everyone had their own version of Darkiplier, and I thought it was hilarious that, “Hey, here’s my version of Darkiplier, and he’s an idiot.” Like, he’s just this weird emo kid. And then I stepped back from that, like, I stepped back. And you can even- in that time, when I was doing those videos, in this era, I was not very happy. I was kind of… I was pessimistic about a lot of things. And I felt like that bled through in a lot of things I did. And that’s why even October of last year I literally made Darkiplier an emo character. And then when we were getting to this, I thought about it like very carefully and I thought back to why I did it originally, and I did it originally because, well, Darkiplier wasn’t even a thing. Darkiplier was not a thing when I was making those videos. I just wanted to make some creepy stuff. And then I thought about that, and I was like if I want to make a statement about who this is, I need to own that and I need to put something out there that is not ambiguous, because I realize that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t have a solid character so obviously, people would come up with their own versions, they would fill in the gaps where they saw fit. So, when I made this I had to embrace it fully and fine-tune it down to exactly where I wanted. When you choose the “fake” choice carrying through to this one, I really wanted that to come through, except at the end to this video, where it gets silly, but that’s because the real me comes in and the real me’s an idiot. And I’ve actually watched this over and over again because I’m listening to the takes I put in here and I’m listening to my inflection and my tone, my demeanor and I’m imagining like how to refine it better next time when I bring him back, like how to do it better.

Tyler: I remember now, I set up the table.

Mark: Yeah, you did. You set up the table we had to change it out for clear glasses because the green screen was reflecting through. But yeah, even this, like the intersplices of anger, and this is me getting real deep in the meta of Darkiplier, like if that’s even a thing that can be- let me just pause it here. I don’t read too much into this but if there’s something that I want to take seriously, I want to actually do right. So, in my mind, Darkiplier is an entirely different person from me. But, much like Warfstache, doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He exists in another world entirely and bleeds through into this one. This is sounding really nerdy of me.

Tyler: I remember the Warfstache talk.

Mark: So Completely unironically, Darkiplier is a completely separate entity from who I am. But, he admires what I’ve accomplished, and he’s very much… people picked up on this, and people thought it was really creepy, because it’s what I wanted. He’s a social manipulator. He is literally, 100% manipulative. He leads you into this false sense of security, and he wants you to trust him because he wants to take advantage of you. That is literally what I wanted for Darkiplier. And how creepy and scary that actually is from the surface. Especially in this first bit, where he says, “If dinner is what you want, then I can provide.” And I wanted this to come across in a seductive way while also masking, like, this burning rage inside that breaks through the suave nature of it. That was my clue to reveal he’s not your friend. He’s not here to help you. He’s here to use you. And that also came across when I was thinking about, like, the effects. Like, his image shatters, he separates because he’s not entirely kept together, you know what I mean? So, I wanted like the drastic impacts of the rage pulling back suddenly to the calm nature and the demeanor and this last one, I was thinking was especially telling. It’s not me trying to break through, it’s his shell cracking.

Kathryn: I love that.

Mark: Yeah? It’s my favorite of all of them.

Kathryn: That’s one’s my favorite. I have legitimately just gone and watched that bit.

Mark: Yeah?

Kathryn: It’s really good.

Mark: Oh, thank you.

Kathryn: I really like that.

Mark: Yeah. And number 1 the visuals work hard on this one, but nailing the audio- that high-pitched ringing that a lot of people were like wow that really hurts my ears, that was by design. That was supposed to hurt because listening to him- a lot if inspiration for him comes from G-man from Half-life 2 and 1, like this weird interdimensional person that seems human but is obviously not and doesn’t obey the laws of physics, and is just like this shell of a person that’s in a suit. Not a suit, literally a human suit, and is trying to figure out how to puppet it right that you believe him, but he’s really good at it. And that’s where the scariness of Darkiplier, I think, really comes from, is because he seems like someone you can trust, and he will manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and literally use you, and to me that’s terrifying. Like that’s the antithesis of what I want to be and so if I’m going to make an opposite version of me, he’s gonna be the fucking worst. Like worse than any romantic story can ever bring about. He’s fucking awful.

Amy: It was convenient, though, I like the way it goes from Relax to this, like the video “Relax,” because then people were not expecting this. But it’s so nice to have it on Valentine’s Day. It works so well.

Mark: And then came the bullshit transition that we had to do. So, this is comical in a way.

Amy: It doesn’t drag it though.

Mark: Yeah it doesn’t drag. You get the scary. Tyler’s here-

Tyler: In Mark’s suit, which I have fit in, but not the pants.

Mark: He didn’t fit, we forgot to get a tie, like, we printed out a mask, and I looked at this and was like I could try to make this creepy, and then I went, I objectively can’t. Let me throw in some punch sound effects.

Tyler: I have to make sure, cause-

Mark: He couldn’t see shoot.

Tyler: No, I couldn’t, and I had to keep moving the mask cause there was one time we did this that the mask ended up completely on the side of my head and I was just like, hey Mark, you can’t touch my face.

Amy: The convenient thing about this, though, with all the glitches is that you can hide stuff with it.

Tyler: Yeah, and there’s a reason I never let go of Mark I have no clue where anything is.

Mark: Yeah, oh man. Oh, this, oh my god. Oh, and secret Easter egg- you know who Dark is because he doesn’t have a shadow. Totally intentional and by design.

Amy: His toes are missing too, but.

Mark: Shh he doesn’t have toes he’s so scary.

~~~~~~

.

4

Nexus Link

Tired of accidentally starting romances you did not mean to activate? I hear ya. One of the best things about the later Dragon Age game is that they indicate when you are entering or ending a romance. So, I decided to do the same for DAO. I went through all the relevant dialogue options and marked them. The key, as it were, is thus:

  • ((flirt)): Activates the romance.
  • ((break up)): Ends the romance.
  • ((turn down)): Keeps the romance from happening.

Now. I know I’m gonna get this question immediately so let me answer it right away. Some dialogue options that can activate or end a romance will only work under certain condition.

An example would be if your warden tells Alistair: “You’re a prince. Somehow I find that very… thrilling.” if Alistair feels neutral or worse towards you, this line won’t activate the romance, and you’ll know if you’re in that situation because that dialogue option won’t have ((flirt)) appended on it.

And, like with my bi mod, there will be patches out the ass for this mod as well.

Nexus Link

youtube

I’m not giving him the time of day. I’m interested in having conversations, Brooke, that will move people of all races forward in this country. I’m interested in having a conversation that will help us to admit the wrongs that were done in this country and how we move forward. I am not interested in trying to convince and change the mind of a bigot. Someone who will openly troll me and say things that are offensive, that he knows are not true.

I mean, it’s very frustrating and I’m tired of people telling me that black people are beneath a standard when we have to be twice as good all the time.  And that is why I said, I’m not interested in having a dialogue with someone like Joe who has demonstrated a propensity towards bigotry. And he did that on Twitter yesterday in 140 characters or less.

She said “Not today.”
She said “I shall not.”
She said “I have had it officially.”
She said “Don’t try me, try Jesus.”
She said “Go get a switch.”
She said “Look at these receipts.”
She said “Fuck yo couch.”
She said “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”
She said “Bitch please.”
She said “I coulda had a V8.”
She said “Bye Felicia.”
She said “You got the wrong one to put you in the right place today sir.”
She said “If you feelin froggy, leap.”
She said “Bless your heart.”
She said “There’s the exit.”

Angela Rye is fed up and she is channeling all of us on today.  I feel so blessed.

12x19 Deconstruction: Part II - The Mixtape Exchange


(A MIXTAPE, GUYS. A GODDAMN MIXTAPE!)

So, yeah, there really wasn’t anything else I could possibly call this piece of dialogue, was there? Nope. Let’s set the scene:

Dean is at his computer. There’s a knock on the door. Cas opens it, pauses, and what we learn from this, by the way, is that Cas was waiting for a response and when he didn’t get one he proceeded inside, thinking Dean wasn’t there. What does this visual exposition tell us?

a) Dean’s bedroom is not off limits to Cas if Dean’s not there, because there’s trust
b) Cas didn’t come to the room looking for Dean

The reason Cas goes to Dean’s room is to get the Colt - the mixtape is just his excuse. So, then, what an utterly beautiful tool of exposition this innocent piece of prop becomes, and how incredibly well it’s used to highlight exactly what the problem has always been in this relationship: the lack of fucking communication. In fact, not only does the mixtape highlight the lack of communication, it goes further as it turns that problem on it’s head completely when, suddenly, both of these men open up to each other. And the fact that Cas is there on a mission, that he’s effectively playing Dean, doesn’t take away from all the truth that is in this exchange as well. Not that there’s complete honesty. Not just yet, but it’s coming. Oh, it’s absolutely on the horizon. It has to be. And this exchange is, as so many others, riddled with subtext which makes the interpretation of it layered to the extreme, but what I have on offer today is my take. So, here goes:

Keep reading

The Fake Dialogue Method

The Problem

Someone begins speaking to you in your target language and you freeze up. You know, or once knew, the right words to say and you absolutely want to put your knowledge to use, but your mind comes to a screeching halt. You begin to panic, and you stare blankly at the person across from you.  

The Solution

The Fake Dialogue Method is one of my favorite methods when it comes to gaining “flexibility” in a new language. When I first started learning Portuguese, this was something I often did to help solidify my mental ties with the language.

Get your notebook, a little motivation and a dictionary. It’s time to get started.

  1. Think of different situations that you might find yourself in when speaking your target language, such as ordering a coffee, asking for directions or simply introducing yourself, and pick one. Let’s go with introducing yourself.
  2. In your notebook, make a fake dialogue in your target language using the vocabulary and key knowledge that you want to recall when you meet someone new. It should look a little something like this. (Examples of key phrases will be marked in italics.)

Me: Hello, my name is _______ . What’s your name?

Stranger: My name is _______. Nice to meet you!

Me: It’s nice to meet you too. Where are you from?

Stranger: I am from _____. What about you?

Me: I am from _____. How old are you?

Things to Keep in Mind

  • Try to familiarize yourself with both the questions and the responses. If you know what to say but can’t understand what’s being said, the conversation won’t get very far! If you don’t know the phrases to ask to begin with, phrases like these are readily available throughout the internet, usually marked under the name making introductions.
  • Read these dialogues over and over aloud, and practice them with native speakers to help solidify the new knowledge. 
  • At first, your dialogues may sound a bit robotic. This is completely okay. As you get more comfortable and flexible with the language, you can make the dialogues sound more organic and real.
  • Conversations are spontaneous and unscripted. This method will just help you feel comfortable in not-so-comfortable situations. 

End Result

Now, when you find yourself making introductions with a native speaker, you’ll have the conversation scripted in your head and you won’t freeze up. You can predict what they will say and you’ll be ready for it!

Good luck, 
Jeremy

2

You know, I feel like we missed out on a really funny opportunity here.

Imagine in “Identity Crisis”, instead of running off with Tucker to hang out with Fun Danny, what if Sam got dragged along on a crazy superhero adventure by Super Danny?

I just picture it like, Super Danny gets so wrapped up in being a full-time superhero, that he somehow forgets humans have limits. Like he keeps flying ahead and Sam eventually gets winded trying to catch up.

Super Danny: Oh…right…humans can’t fly. Sorry.

Sam: How did you forget humans can’t fly!?

And like he keeps aggravating her with his cheesy Golden Age-sounding boy scout dialogue, and keeps calling her “my sidekick”. Every time he addresses her, it’s “my sidekick”. And her only warning he’s about to fly off again is a dramatic “Come, my sidekick!” before WHOOSH! And she has to go running after him for the umpteenth time.

So like after what was implied to be hours of this crap, Sam ends up worn out and wonders why she let him drag her around this late at night, or more importantly why she hasn’t just left yet. But then they run into Technus and Super Danny drags Sam into the fray with him.

Super Danny: Leaping lightning rods! This looks like a job for… [dramatic pose] Danny Phantom! [holds out hand dramatically] Come, my sidekick!

Sam: [throws a flowerpot at him from off screen; it misses and smashes against a wall]

So they’re basically up all night fighting Technus, while Tucker and Fun Danny go bowling and get a good night’s sleep. And because he’s a ghost, Super Danny is completely fine after all this crap. But Sam ends up worn out, sleep-deprived, and possibly hungry.

When the duos meet back up at the pier, she’s a cranky delirious wreck.

Tucker: Sam, are you okay? You look like you’re dying…or already died, but came back from it.

Sam: [swaying] Oh, yeah? Well…you dress like you’re a…traffic light. Yeah. [points] You got your red…and…yellow and…and… [slow blink] … [jump] W-What are we talking about?

Tucker: What did you do to her?

Super Danny: Oh…right…humans need to sleep. Sorry.

Tucker: [in disbelief] How and why?

And for the rest of the episode she’s just in this daze, muttering nonsense and having delayed reactions (and possibly hallucinating). And then she keeps falling asleep. She first falls asleep on the bed when they’re in Danny’s room after Super Danny possessed Fun Danny. She wakes up with a “What I miss?” after Fun Danny gets Super Danny out.

She falls asleep again against the door frame while Tucker tries to hide the two Dannys. She again wakes up with a “What I miss?” when Technus takes over the house.

And then while everyone’s in the street as Technus makes a getaway, she just falls asleep standing up. She once again wakes up with a “What I miss?” after Super Danny’s failed attempt to fly.

And finally, after the day is saved and Danny fuses back together, she falls asleep slumped against the rail on the roof.

Danny: Hey… [touches her shoulder, waking her] You all right?

Sam: [glares at him groggily] Your ghost half is a jerk. Punch him for me. [falls back asleep]

Danny: …will do.

And I guess they would just let her sleep there during that ending shot where everyone’s admiring the view.

I dunno, I just think that’d be funny. I remember being a little disappointed they didn’t have Tucker go with one Danny, while Sam went with the other. Again, it was a missed opportunity. (Also I just wanted more Super Danny scenes. I’m not gonna lie.)

I’m seriously tempted to rewrite the whole episode like this. Please don’t let me rewrite the whole episode like this. For the love of god. I already thought too much about it. Stop me here.

anonymous asked:

Could you do some villian/innocent bystander who gets caught up in the mess prompts? It would really help my writer block :3

1) They opened the door, only to freeze at the sight of the villain in front of them. Their legs rooted to the spot. “Please don’t kill me,” they managed. Their brain buzzed.
The villain frowned. “I wanted to tell you that I fixed your flat, I apologise for any inconvenience.”
“Excuse me?” Maybe they were dead already.
“Your flat,” the villain said. “I inadvertently blew it up yesterday during an altercation.”
They knew that.


2) “Oi! Any chance you can do this after the morning commute, prick?”
The villain turned to face them.
“Did you just throw something at me?”
Their stomach cramped, but they held their ground. In an instant the bystander was in the air by the throat. The villain tutted as they gasped, legs kicking.
“Got your attention, didn’t it?” The bystander tried. “Half an hour, then we’ll be out your hair.”
“Yes.” The villain studied them, ignoring the rest of the comment. “You did rather get my attention…”


3) “Don’t get involved!” The hero yelled. “Just stop talking.”
“Now who’s oppressing the rights of the citizens.” The villain flashed a smile. “Say your piece, dear.”


4) “I need your help.”
The villain blinked. “I don’t think you quite understand how this works.”


5) “Please don’t drag me into this,” the bystander said wearily. “I don’t want to die just because you two can’t work off the unresolved sexual tension.”
“Well if you’re offering to help,” the villain said. They sounded far too amused as the hero spluttered.

anonymous asked:

Dear Duke, I have noticed something about my writing: I do not know how to conduct a dialogue. I do not know how to add an emotional "burden" to the discussion. It does not sound believable what I write. To me, it seems more like a lecture than a simple conversation. I just wanted to write engaging more with the emotional side of my characters than with the intellectual. How can I do it?

Hi! You’re in the right place because dialogue is actually my favorite thing to write and any book of mine you pick up will probably be like at least 40% people talking. Idk if this is because I did so much theatre or because I just can’t shut up, but it’s high time I did a real post about it, so:

Advice for Aspiring Authors: On Dialogue

  1. You need it so don’t resist it. Books that are just huge chunks of prose are exhausting, and if you never use dialogue you’re either (1) summarizing or (2) writing a really boring book, and either way the the result is the same. Your reader is going to be bored. Choosing the right scenic mode is important and sooner or later people are going to have to speak in the moment. 
  2. Don’t stress about speaker tags. Putting this at the top because a lot of new writers seem to get hung up on it. But I’ve already addressed this, so read this post here. Pro-tip? If you’re writing a conversation between two people or even three, you often don’t need speaker tags at all. I recently wrote a conversation that takes place over the phone which consists of about 25 lines exchanged and didn’t use a single speaker tag because it was, in all instances, obvious who was doing the talking. Later in the same MS I have a really chaotic hospital scene where like twelve people are yelling at the same time and interrupting each other and there are no speaker tags because idgaf if anybody knows who’s saying what. It should feel like chaos. (If you want a really great example of this, pick up a copy of William Faulkner’s Sanctuary and read the funeral scene.) Readers are smart. They’ll figure it out.
  3. Different people speak in different ways. Who a character is will often determine how they speak. For instance, Theodore von Wammelspout, Crown Prince of Prosenstatz, is probably going to have a very different dialect than Paw Paw O’Halloran, Louisiana shrimp fisherman. (If you want a better example of what I’m talking about, watch the movie Kingsman and pay attention to how and when Eggsy switches dialects, or read the prologue to The Taming of the Shrew and pay attention to the immediate tonal shift in Christopher Sly’s dialogue when he wakes up from a drunken stupor thinking he’s a lord.) Think about a character’s origins and upbringing and backstory when deciding how they talk.
  4. But stay away from writing dialect unless you really know what you’re doing. Don’t try to phonetically write a character’s accent or dialect unless you’re a linguist, because a lot of dropped consonants and deliberate misspellings can be really difficult to read, come out like you’re trying too hard, or even end up looking vaguely racist. If a character has an accent, find a way to tell us they have an accent and then spell all their dialogue correctly. There are, of course, exceptions to the rule–i.e, if a phonic misunderstanding is crucial to the story. But basically, unless you’re writing Trainspotting, don’t do this. What’s much better and much more effective is to describe how a character says something or what their voice sounds like. What’s the texture? The color? The temperature? A warm, rough, slow voice belongs to a different character than a cold, high, slick voice does. Or maybe the same character can switch from one to the other. Give your character’s voice the same attention you would give their body or their habits or anything else.
  5. It’s a character speaking, not the narrator. Each character should have their own voice, in the same way that each story will have a slightly different narrator, even if it’s a neutral third person narrator. Writing is all about voice and style, and part of the challenge is that you as the writer have to be a mockingbird and be able to speak in as many different voices as you have characters. It will take practice. It will require a lot of questions asked, such as “Who never says a bad word? Who swears like a sailor? Who talks in a constant, uninterrupted stream and who hardly says a word?” For an exercise, write out a plain uninteresting sentence like, “He was on his way home from the store when he got a flat tire,” the way the narrator would say it, and then rewrite it in every character’s voice. Because one character might say it just like that–”I was on my way home from the store and I got a flat tire”–and another might say, “You’re not going to fucking believe this. Okay, so I’m on my way home from the store, because we’re out of beer again, because Steve was supposed to go get more and he didn’t, the dickhead–and what happens? Well, obviously, because this worthless excuse of a city can’t be bothered to keep the roads clear, I drive right through a patch of broken glass and BANG! Blow a tire. Swear to God, I thought it was a gunshot, I nearly ran my car into a telephone pole.” If all your characters sound alike or sound like the narrator or (worse) sound like you, it’s time to stop and reevaluate. 
  6. Characters don’t speak for you. Look, unless you’re writing a really boring story it’s going to have a bunch of people in it with a bunch of different ideas and some of them should believe things that you don’t agree with or speak in a way you find objectionable. Characters are sometimes going to have to say things you find morally deplorable and they have to say them with conviction. I recently wrote a scene where my FMC’s boyfriend and her dad argue about what they’re going to do about her, like she’s not a grown-ass woman who can take care of herself. And they both say things that are utterly atrocious and that if I heard a man say in real life, I would probably punch him in the face. But that’s important. In fiction, you gotta tell it all and tell it like it is. Fiction isn’t true but it should be honest. Not every character can agree with you or with each other. (This is a big part of the reason that authorial intent is a flawed concept. An author who depicts something isn’t necessarily condoning or endorsing it.) You should be writing about difficult shit and writing about it from every vantage point and using dialogue to do that. You don’t need to agree with angelic equality crusader Nancy and homophobic Uncle Jeff equally but they need to be equally convincing. Write disagreements. Write arguments. Let characters fight and get pissed and tell each other to fuck off. It’s honest, and it’s interesting. Conflict is good.
  7. Incomplete sentences are your best friend. So are run-ons. That scene I mentioned that was 25 lines with no speaker tags? There’s also not a complete sentence in that whole exchange. We rarely speak in full correct sentences, even if we know perfectly well that what we’re saying isn’t grammatically perfect. So something like this: 
            “Seen my keys?”
            “In the basket.”
    Totally acceptable. People are lazy. They talk in fragments. Dialogue doesn’t have to be correct, because it often isn’t. Stick commas and dashes wherever the fuck you want to mimic the pattern of speech. Worry about what’s natural, not what’s correct. Sometimes what goes unsaid is just as interesting as what does get said. For instance, if Joe turns to Carol and starts to say, “Have you ever thought about–” and then never finishes the sentence, that’s going to keep a reader wondering. Has she ever thought about what? In much the same way, you can have a character ramble for an entire paragraph in an epic run-on sentence if that’s the way they talk, or if they’re distressed or upset and trying to get the words out. The last book I finished has a chapter at the end where one character literally talks without interruption for nine pages. And as insane as that sounds it’s actually totally necessary because she’s telling a story that’s important for the readers and the other characters to hear but it’s a hundred times better to hear it in her own voice, grammatical correctness be damned.
  8. Don’t try too hard to be eloquent. How many people do you know in real life who spout off perfectly articulate declarations of their feelings? Probably none. They ramble and stall and repeat themselves. Real-life conversations are not movie conversations. They’re not smooth. They’re not perfectly timed. A character just saying “Fuck me” because they have no idea what else to say is perfectly plausible (and also a great opportunity for comedy). Here’s an exercise if you’re having trouble: Make two columns on a page, and on one side write out what this character is trying to say (i.e, “I love you.” “I’ve been trying to tell you for years.” “But I’m afraid you don’t want me to.”) and on the other write out what they actually say (i.e., “I really hope you’ll stay.” “You know you’re always welcome to stay.” “I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay. Just that you can. If you want to.”) Sometimes the juxtaposition between what we’re trying to say and what actually comes out is so important. So don’t worry about perfect articulation or doing justice to the “emotional burden.” Worry about the intent and the impact and how those two things align–or don’t.
  9. Read it out loud. This is one of the most important things teachers in playwriting workshops will tell you to do. Read it out loud. If it feels awkward or unnatural, it probably is. Thus also to dialogue in prose fiction. Even better option? Get a couple of friends to read it for you. This will work wonders for helping you figure out what feels awkward.
  10. HAVE FUN WITH IT. When I say dialogue is far and away my favorite thing to write, I’m not kidding at all. You can learn so much about a character or how two characters interact by how they talk to each other. Do they tease, do they nag, do they finish each other’s sentences? Do they use slang, do they slur, do they talk about celebrities they’ve never met as if they’ve known them for years and they’re the best of friends? Let their personalities shine through, because when characters speak is the only time they’re not getting filtered through a narrator, even if that narrator is themselves. Dialogue provides some of the most poignant moments of characterization you’ll ever get. So play with it. Try the same line fifty different ways until it feels right. Let your characters speak for themselves.

Good luck! Go forth and write great dialogue and have a blast doing it.

Mon-El’s Secret - Dialog Drabble

Soon Mon-El’s secret will come to light. I’m hoping the dialogue between Kara/Mon-El is something like this…

KARA: You should’ve TOLD me! Don’t you trust me?

MON-EL: Of course I trust you!

KARA: Then why keep it a secret?

MON-EL: You really don’t get it, do you?

KARA: Oh, right, because I wasn’t born royalty, I couldn’t possibly understand.

MON-EL: That is not what I said! (brief pause, lowers his voice) Anyone who has ever been my friend, who ever kissed me, who even looked at me twice - they only did it because I was the Prince of Daxam. But you… you wanted me when I was just some guard. When I was some nobody in a pod, you were my friend. All of you. And you, you specifically, believed in me, you thought I could be better. And you wanted to be with me because of who I am. I’ve never had that before. Not from anybody in my entire life. Just you. And I didn’t want that to go away.

Snarky Shapeshifter/Teleporter Prompts

Anonymous asked: “Can I ask if you’d do prompts for a sarcastic shapeshifting teleporter? (It’s sounds really odd, but I think you’ve been asked weirder) she gets underestimated by other super humans a lot, and isn’t taken seriously.”

1. “Your powers aren’t for battle. They’re for running away, and for blending in. They’re for a coward, little girl, and you should learn to accept that now.”

“I can appear from nowhere, destroying my enemies before they even know there’s a war, so tell me: Do you really want to argue with me?”

2. “What’s the matter? Can’t keep up with me? I thought you had superspeed.”

3.”What even is your power? Money?”

“You should show me more respect, actually. I decide whether or not you’re accepted into our League of Justice.”

“Why couldn’t you just call it the-”

“Don’t say it.”

4. “Could you man the phones while we take this one?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, sorry, ‘woman’ the phones?”

“I’m a superhero, not a secretary. You want someone answering the phone, hire someone who wants that sort of job.”

5. “No offense, but I just don’t think you can handle this mission.”

“No offense, but I don’t think you can handle the fact that I’m better than you.”

6. “You’re officially banned from using your powers. Defiance of this ban will be considered treason.”

“Treason? I saved the world! Weren’t you paying attention?”

“You got lucky. If I hadn’t shown up when I did-”

“Yeah, your little glorified boomerang to that last guy’s head definitely turned the tides of the fight.”

7. “I’m sick of this. Now I get why people become supervillains.” 

~I hope these help! And you’re right, definitely not the weirdest request I’ve ever gotten!~

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for writing Cullen?

Let me first start out by saying that he comes easiest to me because we’re very similar people. That doesn’t help anybody, so I hope I’ve articulated some tips that work well. This is purely how I view the character, so all opinions and observations are my own. If they help veer you into the right direction, bully. If not, then just ignore.

He’s a busy guy.
First, I recommend listening to his banter. It’s established in Inquisition that he is married to his job, hyper-focusing for hours or even days without rest. He’s curt with his page and peppers his lines with sighs of indignation and annoyance. He isn’t someone who likes to or even can drop what he’s doing to concentrate on something else at will. His dialogue varies depending on how “in the zone” he is.

He uses contractions sparingly.
He tends to veer toward a more formal manner of speech, though not nearly as much as Solas. The best way I can think to word it is try to find a more polite way of saying something. (”D’you wanna… vs. “Perhaps you would like to…)

  • “With what? They have only words at their disposal.”
  • “At first they merely humored me, but I must have shown promise.”
  • “I was not sorry to leave at the time. I did not expect to return. Now – between the Divine’s murder and the Breach – I’ve arrived to find nothing but chaos.”
  • “Few who survived the Blight have fond memories of that time. I would prefer not to speak of it.”
  • “Is it? I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here.”

-I’ve noticed he tends to use more contractions when under pressure or stress. This fits very well into his busy-body persona. Reading his notes on the War Table is a good reference, as well.

He’s nostalgic.
His dialogue is rife with fond memories of happier times. Heck, he even has a side quest named that. When he’s reminiscing, he’s more open to expression and laughter.

  • (Laughs.) “I wanted to be. I wasn’t always successful. Watching a candle burn down while reciting the Chant of Transfigurations wasn’t the most exciting task. I admit, my mind sometimes wandered.”
  • (Smiling.) “The poor recruit ran into the dining hall in nothing but his knickers!”

-Get more liquor in him and his guard goes way down. Keep in mind that he still maintains his same speech pattern when inebriated. Look at the difference between him at the start of the Wicked Grace scene toward the end:

  • “You seem to have enough people. I have a thousand things to do.”
  • (When the Inquisitor asks for another round of drinks.) (Smiling.) “I’ll get them! Don’t start without me!”

He’s prone to a black and white manner of thinking.
I can go on about my asperger’s headcanon, but putting that aside, he’s a character who sees himself and the world around him as polar opposites, and this tendency feeds into his need to be perfect (ie defeat Corypheus by raising a massively successful army, free from lyrium). This comes out during his Perseverance quest. What’s his response to suffering withdrawal and trying to put in a resignation? Anger. A meltdown. Punching a wall. He likes to feel in control, and loses his temper when he feels caged.

He panics when people go “off script.”
Seriously, when was a time Cullen succeeded with language? He’s purely a man of action, and seems to keep himself centered on a particular subject. (Should you choose his first flirt option and ask to hear his lecture you’ll see it right away.) When people veer from it, he becomes flustered. I’m afraid I only have romance dialogue examples of this.

Cullen: Inquisitor! We were…
Leliana: Eagerly awaiting your presence…some more than others.
Cullen: I wasn’t…I mean, I was…we have work to do.

Inquisitor: “A life of service and sacrifice. Are templars also expected to give up… physical temptations?”
Cullen: “Physical? Why…” (Clears throat.) “Why would you… That’s not expected. Templars can marry – although there are rules about it, and the Order must grant permission… Some may choose to give up more to prove their devotion, but it’s, um, not required.”
Inquisitor
: “Have you?”
Cullen: “Me? I… um… no. I’ve taken no such vows. Maker’s breath – can we speak of something else?”

He has a dry, exhausted wit.
He actually tries jokes. They are just subtle and sarcastic. I find his sense of humor similar to Blackwall’s, though the latter is more warm and welcoming.

  • “While I was there, Qunari occupied and then attacked the city, the viscount’s murder caused political unrest, relations between mages and templars fell apart, an apostate blew up the Chantry, and the Knight-Commander went mad. Other than that, it was fine.”
  • “At this point, the headache I’m developing is preferable to the company.”

He’s not going to say sorry…until he does.
This is specifically pertaining to his romance arc, but if you choose to write it it’s good to note that while he remains unapologetic in his worldviews, when it comes to consent and his partner’s comfort? It’s a different picture. 

  • (After kissing Inquisitor.) “I’m sorry.”
  • ”Does it bother you?”
  • ”I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Stims, glorious stims.
Make use of his stance: arms crossed, guarded, clutching his sword. The way he flexes his neck or rubs at the base of his skull. The shifting of his feet. Pinching the bridge of his nose. There are characters like Cassandra or Solas who stand perfectly still in conversation, arms crossed behind their back in scenes. Cullen’s body language is far more expressive, and indicative of his level of comfort (or discomfort).

Originally posted by themegalosaurus

It’s that time again! Let’s check on some of my reading highlights for the month! Not a lot of smut, since I kinda overloaded myself with it in Feb and needed a break. As always, you can catch up on previous LMR’s here and check out my standard reblog recs here. Also be sure to leave a writer some love, as feedback is what keeps writers motivated to keep putting stuff out!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Jily jealous lily (idk I think it would be cute ^_^)

OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME THIS LONG! Anyway, here it is, I hope you like it.

Warning: I don’t know anything about British English, so I hope I got the dialogues and…. things… right. :D


Lily Evans did not get jealous.

Never. Nope.

So, to say that she was jealous on this lovely Thursday February morning, in Potions class, would be, in fact, not true. But how else could she explain the tightening in her stomach, the feeling of pure insecurity, the literal pain coursing through her entire body?

Those were the feelings she was currently going through when she saw Marlene McKinnon, one of her classmates, housemates, roommates, and overall, her best friends, flirting with one James Potter. Who also happened to be Lily’s boyfriend, even though no one knew they were dating. The couple wanted to keep it to themselves for at least a little bit longer. The only people who knew were the rest of the Marauders, and even they found out accidentally … when they caught them snogging in one of the corridors at night.

So, yeah, Marlene McKinnon was currently flirting with her boyfriend, who was also very oblivious to the whole situation, and was happily talking to the blonde witch whose hand was on his, helping him with the potion-making.

Potion-making, my ass, Lily thought.

Some logical and very, very rational part of her currently otherwise preoccupied brain screamed at her repeatedly that no, sweetheart, you have no reason to be jealous.

„I’m not jealous,“ she muttered under her breath.

„What?“ asked Remus, who was currently stirring the potion Professor Slughorn had assigned them with today. Lily shook her head and smiled at him, trying to appear nonchalant. If the look he gave her was any indication, he didn’t buy it. She shrugged in response and continued with staring daggers at Marlene, who laughed hysterically at something James said.

Remus followed her eyes and almost choked on his own spit when he saw what, or rather who, his friend was glaring at. Marlene seemed to notice two pairs of eyes on her, and when she turned around, she smiled sweetly at Lily, and sent Remus a wink. Remus seemed to caught up on what was going on, and decided to get back to the potion, since Lily, apparently, was too preoccupied. Today would also be the full moon, and Remus was already feeling tired and achy. Still, he couldn’t help but smirk a little, careful not to let Lily notice it.

Of course, Lily wasn’t paying attention, she was still glaring daggers at Marlene. She said something, and James took a couple of steps back, allowing Marlene to stand in front of him and lean forward … and arch her back. Though seemingly impossible, Lily’s glare worsened, and Remus was pretty sure it would give McGonagall’s a run for her money. Or just a run.

And when Marlene stumbled (read: pretended to stumble) and turned around just in time for James to catch her in his muscular arms (which Lily should definitely not be noticing right now), allowing Marlene to put her hands on his chest, she decided right then and there that this would go no further.

She stood up abruptly, successfully waking Remus from his light sleep. Sirius, who was working on the other side of the room with Peter, gave her a thumbs up and a grin, which quickly faded once he received the force of her glare full-force. And did he just shrink a little bit on himself? Lily didn’t care. She strode towards the two Griffyndors with a purpose.

„Ms. Evans, is everything quite alright?“ asked Professor Slughorn. Lily didn’t answer, she just went forward, each step a little bit faster than the last. It was then that both James and Marlene noticed her – she was already out of his arms, much to Lily’s delight, and smirked. James just looked plain confused, and if she weren’t blinded by pure anger and jealousy, she would most likely smile sweetly at the look on his face.

„Lils, is eve—mmph!“ James didn’t get a chance to finish the question, because just then, Lily caught him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down, capturing his lips with her own in a forceful and dominating kiss, much to his surprise. And delight.

His hands automatically encircled her waist and her lower back, bringing her closer to him, flush against him. Lily felt the jealousy slowly drift away, but the anger was still there, and she made sure that James felt every ounce of it. He responded eagerly. And just when he was ready to deepen the kiss, a loud clear of someone’s throat broke them out of their little world. Once they pulled away, Lily blushed at the look of pure horror on Slughorn’s face, and the triumphant look on Marlene’s.

It was then that it dawned on her.

„Are you serious, McKinnon?“ she growled. Marlene just smirked in response. Sirius handed her five galleons. When Lily glared at him, he shrugged his shoulders and gave her one of his usual smiles that made most girls weak in their knees.

It only made Lily glare at him more. He gulped. „It was her idea,“ he said, pointing at Marlene. Marlene’s eyes widened and started swearing that it was Sirius‘ idea. Remus just howled in laughter in the background along with a very flustered Peter.

„McKinnon here,“ pointed Sirius, „made a bet with me that she could make you kiss Prongsie here in a room full of people. I honestly didn’t expect that.“

James still looked dazed from the kiss.

„Well,“ said Slughorn awkwardly, „the class was about to end, anyway. How about you go to your next class, hm?“

anonymous asked:

I could use some prompts about two characters, one a knife collector who constantly wants to use xir knives and one who has to keep the knife collector from using the knives.

honestly I’m both of these characters

-”I guess it’s time to st-”

“STAY HYDRATED!! Haha, that’s right kids dehydration is very serious and we need to have a talk.”

-”She’s beautiful.”

“It’s a knife.”

She’s beautiful.”

-”If I stabbed a homophobe with a rainbow plated knife would-”

“It’d be homicide.”

“It’d be homocide.”

-”X, pass me your knife. I’m going to flay this fucker.”

“Get your own knif- woah, holy shit okay.”

-”Give me the knife.”

“Who says I have a knife?”

“You’re right, Give me the knives.”

-”Did you have a knife day?”

“My day was great, thanks for asking.”

“No, a knife day. What’d you buy?”

-”What the fuck put it back”

Swords are just long knives when you think about it.”

“Put it back!”

“It’s mine now.”

-”My superpower is knives.”

“Hi batman.”

-”Is that a swarovski crystal letter opener?”

“Knife.”

It’s Time To Talk About Darkiplier Part 3

Originally posted by martziplier98

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

Hey it’s me!

That one chick who tried to prove that Darkiplier is a Fourth Dimensional Being & a different version of Mark saves you from Darkiplier.

So we’re starting to get into territory that Mark clearly never actually intended

BUT I DON’T CARE

I’ve been given a basis to work off of, I’m a child of the internet and so much can be done with the concept I can’t help but throw in my two cents and have some fun with it.

Now as we know Mark was actually incredibly meticulous about how he wanted to present Dark to us canonically and officially.

One of the things he spent a lot of time on were the voice effects, he felt he needed to get the voice just right and he did just that.

As for dialogue you can tell a lot of thought was put into Dark’s lines to pave way for something in the future if Mark & the team choose to do so.

Let’s break down the dialogue shall we?

Keep reading

So adoption worker filed the paperwork Monday so we should get a court day in the next month. Probably. Maybe. Last night I dreamt that we went to court. Everything seemed fine, except, the judge was an Elvis impersonator. He did the adoption, signed the paperwork then after it was over went back into chambers and took off his impersonator outfit and he was…Elvis. The real (undead) one. WTF??? Elvis and impersonators have no involvement in my life whatsoever. 

Was thinking about this this morning and it dawned on me. Its about my current struggle with being a mom. I’m a foster mom. And soon adoptive mom. But I’m not their “real” mom. They have a real mom, their birth mom. I’m playing the role of mom in the day-to-day, but on some level, I feel like I’m impersonating as Mom. The girls are starting to call me mom consistently (especially Mary which is new) and are starting to come to terms with adoption (though still struggling with it) and having two moms. They ask if I’m mom and I say yes.  And I feel like that somehow takes away from acknowledging that birth mom is “real” mom and I’m just the fill-in mom. They alternate between telling me I’m the best mommy and telling me I’m so mean (sometimes in the same sentence). 

I am struggling with how to build a post-adoption relationship with their birth mom and I feel like I am not handling it with the grace and understanding that I probably should/could be. I want to take the girls and run and have them be mine and not deal with all the complexities of being an adoptive family and supporting birth family connections. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way. Am I also impersonating my ideal of a foster/adoptive parent that is pro birth family/reunification? You all follow the humans of foster care on Facebook, right? There are stories of adoptive families having birth parents spend the night (???), show up drunk to recitals and not being turned away because any contact is better than none, and in general showing a lot more grace towards birth parents than I have shown their mom. Is that what I am supposed to do? I’m not sure I can? She hurt my kids. She is the reason they are in care. And she didn’t fight for them. And she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She wants to be involved and co-parent. This person who HURT MY KIDS. And that’s where i’m stuck. I need to get past it. For them. And I will, but I’m stuck on the anger right now.  @pixiedoodlein‘s post and the dialogue about expecting bio parents to completely change the nature of who they are to get their kids back and the things we expect of them to prove they are safe (namely admit they were wrong) was so so helpful. I did, the system did, want her to admit there was a problem and get help to prove she could be safe for them. And she couldn’t do it. So they took her kids away for good and gave them to me. How fucked up is that? How can I trust her to not hurt them again, to be safe for them when she doesn’t think she did anything wrong? Yet expecting her to completely change to get them back was unrealistic too. The fact is I am not going to be able to protect them completely from the pain of having been in foster care and adopted - of having a birth and adoptive mom. I don’t know how to make it better. I feel like I am supposed to let all of the expectations of birth mom go and allow contact, because “research shows” its better in the long run. And I believe that. But I also don’t want to do it. I will. But I don’t want to. I want to do what is best for them. But I also just don’t want to have to deal with it, the post visit trauma, the behaviors and tantrums, etc.  So yeah, I’m a mom impersonator on many levels (but also a real mom underneath it all? was that the point?). 

So thanks brain from making me think through it all, but really Elvis?? Brains are so weird. 

starter sentence meme: the book thief 
( dialogue only edition, pt. 1 )

  • “What are you assholes looking at?”
  • “Communist.”
  • “Shhh, I’m here, it’s all right.”
  • “Lick my ass! I’ll speak as loud as I want!”
  • “Hello, stars.”
  • “What do you want to kiss me for? I’m filthy.”
  • “Do you have to pay to be Jewish? Do you need a license?”
  • “If I die anytime soon, you make sure they bury me right.”
  • “Read some for me.”
  • “Are you dressed warm enough? It might get cold later!”
  • “You stink. Like cigarettes and kerosene.”
  • “Why did he have to die?”
  • “Look at the colors.”
  • “You’re skinny and pale enough to get their pity.”
  • “She asked me, and I couldn’t say no. How could I?”
  • “Who knows where she is? Who knows what they’ve done to her?”
  • “They should all piss fire for a month!”
  • “You should have a look at this woman I can see. I might just go and run after her.”
  • “You can’t just sit around waiting for the new world to take it with you. You have to go out and be part of it.”
  • “Do you want to run away together?”
  • “It’s the best I could do.”
  • “He froze to death, I’m sure of it.”
  • “Does this mean I don’t get a kiss for teaching you?”
  • “You’re an idiot—but you’re our kind of idiot.”
  • “If you see someone coming, you call out loud enough to wake the dead —and we all run.”
  • “I’m leaving soon. You know how it is—the army.”
  • “We might be criminals, but we’re not totally immoral.”
  • “Keep your eyes open.”
  • “You never told me you had a son.”
  • “Are you a man who likes to keep a promise?”
  • “When death captures me, he will feel my fist on his face.”
  • “Next time I kill you.”
  • “I won’t leave. If we all can’t go, I don’t go, either.”
  • “It’s chaos out there, and chaos is what we need.”
  • “I was never sure if any of this would happen, so I never told you. About me.”