did i ever tell you the definition of insanity

Warnings: Spoilers for The Walking Dead (not really, but I guess if you haven’t watched the last season it could be.) and swearing


Y/N giggled as she tried on dresses for J in the changing room. He wanted her to dress more like a queen, his queen, but she was more into baggy clothes and jeans. She was furious when he threw out all her clothes and replaced her wardrobe with fancy, short dresses and too tight costumes that looked perfect for Harley, his previous lover. Y/N didn’t like wearing too short things unless she was at home (alone) so she convinced him to let her pick her clothes.

So far every piece of clothing she picked was a ‘no’ from him. He sat in a chair outside of the dressing room, his legs splayed, hands crossed over his cane, looking at everything with boredom.

“How about this?” It was a simple blouse, something she wouldn’t normally wear unless going somewhere fancy. J took one look at it and shook his head.

“Next.” Y/N rolled her eyes and stomped away. She felt embarrassed, since he hasn’t approved one thing for her yet and all of his henchmen were watching. He was basically calling her out for bad taste in clothes. Frost sent her a sympathetic smile, and Y/N put a finger gun up to her head and pulled the trigger. As she walked back to look at the clothes, she noticed a leather jacket and it gave her an idea.

After collecting all the things she needed, and earning amused looks from the henchmen who shared the same fandom, she disappeared into the changing room.  She called for Frost, and he made sure to check with his boss if it was ok to go in there. Frost refused to go tell J to get on his knees, so she sighed and changed her plan.

When she came out, J’s eyes gave her a look of disinterest and confusion.

“On your knees.” Y/n put on a deep voice.

“Doll, we’re suppose to be trying on clothes, not halloween co-”

“What I want, is half your shit. If you don’t give it to me….wait what comes after that.” She looked down in thought, forgetting the rest of the monologue. She was wearing a red scarf along with the jean jacket, boots, tan pants and carrying a baseball bat. J glared as she gave him puppy dog eyes.

“Please get on your knees. It’s part of my act!” He continued to stare.

“Fine. Oh! I remembered the next part.” She cleared her throat, and J rolled his eyes as she paced around.

“What I want, is half your shit. If that’s too much you can make, find, or steal more….um..so peeing our pants yet? I have a feeling we’re getting close.” There was an awkward pause as J and the rest of the henchmen remained stoic.

“Next.”

“No, wait! I’m going to beat the holy hell out of one of you.” J suppressed a smile as she said it in her normal voice, and she had an innocent expression while saying it.

“Eeny, meeny, miney, mo….. You are it!” She pointed at J, even though it wasn’t his turn. He had to admit, her acting skills were on point. She really seemed invested in the role. Of course she made him stay up on Sundays and watch the Walking Dead with her, so she was pretty invested in the fandom.

“Anybody moves, anybody says anything…. Jeez at least act scared!”

“Next.”

“But I have to kill you! Lucille is thirsty.” She giggled.

“Next.”

“M-my dick is so hard, I could wrap it in barbed wire and call it Lucille 2.0.” She trailed off into giggles as the henchmen gave her weird looks.

“It’s from the comics!” J reached out and grabbed her chin.

“Doll, next.” She sighed.

“Fine.”

She collected an odd assortment of supplies this time, and J was getting annoyed.

“This will be good, I promise.” She came out in a red tank top, same pants and shoes, and a scar drawn over her eye.

“Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?”

“Next, and it better be something nice, Y/N.” She stomped away again and chose a dress.

“Ok, this is the last one. Can I still get the others though?”

“No.”

“Will you watch The Walking Dead with me tonight?”

“No.” Y/N smiled, he always ended up watching it anyway.

“Who do you think he killed?”

“I know I’m gonna kill you if you don’t zip it.” He growled and stood up, nodding for his henchmen to let the terrified salesmen go. Usually he would just kill them, but for some reason Y/N always ignored him for a few days. She was a hoot, as his weird dialect put it.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Well, I’m- I’m kind of scared.”

“Of what?”

“You.”

“Why?”

“You can kill me!”

“You’re afraid of dying?”

“Well, I’m not afraid of living!”

“Can I try on more? You should do it too!”

“No.” Y/N cautiously grabbed his arms and yanked on it.

“Pleeeeeaaassse. Please. Please? I’ll, like, do anything. Without question. No hesitation.”

“Kill them.” J motioned to the salesmen. Y/N gave a nervous giggle.

“Well we haven’t shook on it, silly. A-and maybe not anything. Please.” J growls and his head rolls back to the ceiling. She knew she had him.

“Yay! Thank you thank you thank you-” He stills her bouncing form with a painful grip on her chin.

“You get one. One outfit. Make it count, because I’m never doing it again.”

“That’s what you say all the time when you threaten to kill me-” He smacks her on the butt and shoves her away from him, her giggling as she races into the clothing section. She yells to him as she looks through the clothes.

“I was thinking Rafe Adler, since you’re both smol and angry, and you both have an asshole laugh and are narcissistic jerks-” His growl cuts her off.

“BUT since I only get one, I am sooo gonna make it count.” She laughs as she inspects a piece that would look good on him.

“Oh, honey, you’ll be looking good.” She laughs in a way that assures him he will not be looking good.

…….

“Alright! I’m ready!” Y/N sits in the chair J was sitting in, her hands crossed over his cane and she tried to position her body like his. She struggles to put on a serious face, and she doesn’t notice Frost looking at her in amusement.

J comes out, staggering along in heels, his dress not zipped up due to his back muscles. His signature pout on his face, he was hunched over trying to maintain some balance.

“Well you look good.” Y/N laughs at him.

“Jeez, you look like a centaur.” She continues to laugh, and he daydreams about wrapping his hands around her neck.

Meanwhile Frost is silently praying he won’t laugh as he stares at his boss. J’s breathing is more like panting, and he looks like Prince Charming just stood him up at the ball. His fists are clenched, and he glares at Y/N with an intensity that makes Frost think he’ll have to talk him out of killing her.

“I love you.” Y/N gives him her best smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“I hope Negan kills Daryl.” Y/N gasps and without thinking, snaps a picture of him on her phone. She’s never seen a murderous look directed at her, and immediately bolts towards the door. J, forgetting he’s in heels, chases after her. He manages to get the heels off and catches up with her. She made it out the door, and he is met with the lights of police cars and helicopters. They stand there for a few moments, the police force too shocked to attack.

Y/N runs back inside, knowing to yell for Frost, who solves all of her problems. J, after yelling a “Fuck off!” to the cops, picks up the front of his dress and follows.

……..

Y/N sits in tears waiting for J to come out of the bedroom. The Walking Dead is on in five minutes, and she fears he may be too mad with her to watch it. When they got back, they already found themselves on the news, J glaring at the camera in his dress. Y/N laughed and that’s when J locked himself in the bedroom. Right when the countdown was happening, J snuck up on her and wrapped her up in a hug.

“It’s so Abraham.”

“It’s so Glenn.”

After about halfway through the episode, Y/N was a sobbing mess while J laughed loud enough to wake batsy in his cave.

At least someone enjoyed the episode.

“Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact… same fucking thing… over and over again expecting… shit to change… That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, I shot him. The thing is… He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing… over and over and over and over again thinking ‘this time is gonna be different’ no, no, no please… This time is gonna be different, I’m sorry, I don’t like… The way…you are looking at me… Okay, Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!… It’s okay, man. I’m gonna chill, hermano. I’m gonna chill… The thing is… Alright, the thing is I killed you once already… and it’s not like I am fucking crazy. It’s okay… It’s like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition… of insanity?”

VAAS MONTENEGRO - FAR CRY 3

dying
over and over
again and again.
how many times have i killed
what was inside of me?
how many times have i become
somebody i hadn’t recognised?
will it ever end?
will this cycle ever break?
this is utter
and absolute
insanity.
—  v.m // “did i ever tell you the definition of insanity?”
It Was Certain - CS AU

“Swan, where’s your 1095 form?”

“What’s that?” She didn’t even bother looking away from the TV. She could hear him already rifling through the stack of paperwork he’d meticulously sorted. What was the point of having a best friend slash next door neighbor who was an accountant if you couldn’t con him into doing your taxes? Not that it ever took that much. She could swear he almost enjoyed it every year, making sense of her jumbled life.

“It’s the form you get from your health insurance company as proof of coverage. I haven’t seen it anywhere. Did they send it, love? Need it to complete this section.”

The bile in her stomach gurgled. Oh, that form, she thought. The one she most definitely did not have, as she also most definitely didn’t have health insurance.

“Um,” she stalled as she tried to figure out how to tell the ultra-responsible, supremely uptight, insanely conscientious man currently sorting her financial life that she kind of skipped this step of adulthood.

Keep reading

3

Goldenmask’s Endless List of Amazing Video Game Characters [53/?]

Vaas Montenegro  |  Far Cry 3

“You are looking at me… Okay, Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you!… It’s okay, man. I’m gonna chill, hermano. I’m gonna chill… The thing is… Alright, the thing is I killed you once already… and it’s not like I am fucking crazy. It’s okay… It’s like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition… of insanity?”

2

Did I ever tell you, the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the exact… same fucking thing… over and over again, expecting… shit to change. That… is crazy; but the first time somebody told me that…I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so boom — I shot him. The thing is, okay… He was right. And then I started seeing: everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked, all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing… over and over and over and over again thinking: “This time, it’s gonna be different; no, no, no, no, no, please… This time it’s gonna be different.” …I am sorry, I don’t like the way you are looking at me… Okay, do you have a fucking problem in your head? Do you think I am bullshitting you? Do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? FUCK YOU! It’s okay, man. I’m gonna chill, hermano. I’m gonna chill… The thing is… alright, the thing is: I killed you once already… and it’s not like I am fucking crazy. It’s okay… It’s like water under the bridge.
Did I ever tell you the definition… of insanity?”

10

FC 3 Character Aesthetic Month, Part I ; Vaas Montenegro; |neongreen|  ♔

-”Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, I shot him. The thing is - He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing, over and over and over and over again thinking ‘this time is gonna be different’ no, no, no please. This time is gonna be different, I’m sorry, I don’t like - The way - you are looking at me. Okay, Do you have a fucking problem in your head, do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? Fuck you! It’s okay, man. I’m gonna chill, hermano. I’m gonna chill. The thing is. - Alright, the thing is I killed you once already, and it’s not like I am fucking crazy. It’s okay. It’s like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition…of insanity?”-

psychic: *reads my mind*

me: Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact same fucking thing over and over again expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me. So, boom, I shot him. The thing is… he was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing. Over, and over, and over, and over again thinking, “This time is gonna be different. No, no, no please… this time is gonna be different.” I’m sorry, I don’t like the way…you are LOOKING at me! Okay, do you have a fucking problem in your head? Do you think I am bullshitting you, do you think I am lying? Fuck you! Okay? FUCK. YOU. It’s okay, man. I’m gonna chill, hermano. I’m gonna chill. The thing is… all right? The thing is I killed you once already, and it’s not like I am fucking crazy. It’s okay. It’s like water under the bridge. Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

psychic: what the fukc