did giffing this have any purpose

└ ◻  Jeffrey Dean Morgan gif hunt.

Under the cut are (100+) gif icons 150x80 of Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Negan from The Walking Dead, and various other roles.. None of these gifs belong to me, all i did was cut and resize them for roleplaying purposes. please do not put these in any other gif hunt, and a simple like or reblog would be nice, but not required. will add more once i have the time to do them.

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I’ve Waited For You

Summary: After coming back from his mandatory enlistment TOP finds himself in a predicament: being a part of We Got Married. Can this be something that leads him to what he never thought he could have?
Genre: TOP x Reader
Words: 2014

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used. They’re strictly for aesthetic purposes and belong to their rightful owners!
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He didn’t know why he was doing this. Well, that was a lie. He did know why. He was just hoping he could’ve come up with an excuse that didn’t sound like one to get out of it.

Looking down at the We Got Married contract and spreadsheet before him, TOP wished the world would come and swallow him whole.

It was only a couple months since he’d gotten out of the military. While he was doing active duty he’d come up with a lot of plans and thoughts about his career. Releasing a new song accompanied by a music video was one of them. Being the face and model of a few name brands had been one. A few talk shows and game shows here and there had also been on there. But not this.

TOP felt his stomach churn as his eyes scanned the title page for what felt like the millionth time. Maybe he’d read it again for an infinite amount of time. In hopes the name would change, but he knew it would remain the same.

When President Yang slid the proposal over he thought it was something else. Maybe another try at getting him on one of his music shows that he hated. Well, he didn’t hate them. Not really. Sometimes it just reminded him too much of his younger self; green, young, and eager. Full of determination and drive that fueled innocent hope that one day he’d be where he was today. Not thinking or caring about the sacrifices he’d make or the decisions that would leave him feeling hollowed and way past empty.

At first, TOP had scoffed reading those three bold words. Yang must have been out of his mind to even think he would consider this idiotic show. But Yang had been persistent. Telling him to, “Take it home and really think about it,” before giving him his final answer.

When he got home later that night TOP threw the proposal in the trash. It was just something he wasn’t willing to consider. His stubbornness rearing its ugly head in full force. He’d already downed a whole bottle of his favorite wine; staring blankly out into the Han river.

TOP held out hope that after the first bottle it would cut off all thought. His mind free from overthinking. But it felt like the opposite happened. His eyes diverting back to the trash bin. A scoff shaking his chest as his lips upturned in a snarl.

This was playing out every few minutes and he felt exhausted. By the time he’d started on his second bottle his mother had come over for their daily chats.

That was one of the best moments of his life: seeing his mother again after almost two long years of only letters and cards. It hadn’t been the same as hearing her voice or her constant fretting on if he’d eaten enough. Cool hands running over his forehead and face as if he was still an infant just to make sure he wasn’t getting sick.

“If you can’t take care of yourself, my son, you can trust your mother will.”

There was no one else in this world TOP loved like his mother. There was no one else who could get through to him or make him feel infinitely more guilty about his life choices than her, as well.

He didn’t hear her come in. Too zoned out watching the freedom of the birds soaring into painted blue skies before disappearing. His wine glass tipping in his hand, ready to spill onto the mahogany floor when a slap on his shoulder startled him back to reality.

“Seunghyun,” she scolded, “where are you?”

She left her hand on his shoulder. A steady weight that reminded him where he was. He was home. It was okay.

TOP’s lips answered her only with a timid smile. His own hand reaching up to cover her own giving it a slight squeeze in gratitude. Before he was even given a chance to reply she threw something down on his lap. Something with weight. It jolted him in his seat and caused the liquid in his glass to slosh around. Threatening to spill out from its open mouth.

“Ya mama,” he hissed, ready to voice his displeasure when his eyes locked on the object in his lap.

It was that stupid proposal. Those three bold words glaring back at him; refusing to give him a moments peace.

“So,” she started calmly. “Are you going to do it?”

TOP looked up at her his eyes taking in how controlled and expressionless she was. He knew his mother well enough to know she was hiding what she felt. Not knowing whether her own emotion would displease him or not. Even though she held the best poker face he’d ever seen, years of living with her had taught him one thing: her eyes held everything she wished to hide.

He could see a world of hope and possibilities bubbling out inside those eyes. Playing out a life for him that they both knew he used to want, but didn’t any longer. He was content being alone. Preferred it that way.

“I already told President Yang no,” he responded coolly.

Getting up in one smooth motion from his seat, letting the papers fall in a heap at his feet. He removed the bottle of wine from the table and made his hasty retreat into the kitchen. Knowing without having to turn around his mother was hot on his heels.

“Then why did you bring it home with you?”

“Yang forced me too. He told me to think about it some more before I made my decision, but I already have. I’m not doing it.”

“And why not?”

“Because, mama. What’s the point? It’s ridiculous to pretend to be married to someone, forced into a relationship, just for the sick viewing pleasure of others. I’m not okay with it.”

Her sharp intake of breathe, the disapproval on her face at his tone, left him deflated. She appeared upset, but distraught all at once.

“Son, it is not a forced relationship. You aren’t made too seriously date them. I agree it isn’t the best of circumstances, but maybe…maybe if you do this you’ll-”

“I’ll what, mama?” He questioned, cutting her off already knowing her silent wish. “That it will make me want to date? To get married and have children?”

“Is that so bad for a mother to want for her son, Seunghyun?”

Her trembling words left his throat raw; a battle to even swallow around the thickness of his own thundering pulse. The pain of knowing he was a disappointment, would disappoint her even now, left his heart sinking like lead into the depth of his own pain driven ocean.

“I’m sorry, mama. I really am. I wish I could give you that but I can’t.”

“You mean you won’t.”

A sigh of anguish; resentment, filtered through his nose as his arms reached out to help keep him grounded. The cold granite of his charcoal counter biting into his palms.

“It’s not that I won’t. I just don’t think I can. There’s-there’s a part of me that just-” his throat closed on him before he could finish. His mother had always worried about her sons mental health. Especially a few years back when he’d been rushed to the hospital for exhaustion. She’d feared for him in a way that TOP never understood until recently.

She was starting to notice, through the small cracks that were starting to show, that he was becoming more and more depressed. His good days becoming far and few and ever since the military…he just didn't feel like himself anymore. More like a stranger looking into a life he no longer felt connected too.

“Aish,” he spit out in anger. His body pushing back from the counter as a rough hand ran through his hair.

TOP felt overwhelmed. A life he no longer felt like he had any chance of having haunted him every chance it got. Constant questioning on if he was happy being alone made him feel as if everyone saw him as foreign. More alone than he felt surrounded by family and friends at times. In the beginning, he’d wanted what his mother and father had; what his sister was able to find when he could not. But as the years continued to create distance between what was real and what was planned out for him, TOP found himself unable to connect with others because they weren’t able to connect with him. They couldn’t understand him and wouldn’t take the time to try. Misinterpreting the smallest of things and odd gestures as something undesirable, and therefore, meaning he was undesirable.

Among family, friends, and his art he’d found his complacency. A home of comfort that left him feeling a sense of purpose and, above all, happiness. Once he’d left for the military, something changed. He’d changed. Now when he looked in the mirror he wasn’t sure who was staring back at him anymore.

He jumped at the sudden touch on his shoulder. His mother’s small hand applied force as she gently pushed him around until he would look at her.

“My son, I love you. I’ve loved you before you came into existence and I will love you well beyond even after I am gone. I am your mother and I will always support you in whatever decisions you make. Just please, I ask of you, not to be so rash about this. Don’t miss out on something that may be able to help you. I know you feel lost. Allow yourself to be found.”

With both hands on his cheeks, she used it to gently pull him towards her. Her small lips connecting with his cheek in a chaste kiss that made the silent tears he’d been fighting back to spill out. Once they started, he couldn’t get them to stop. His body suddenly overcome with silent sobs that racked through his body, leaving him heaving to catch a breath.

His mother simply embraced him. Her small arms locking onto him with an amazing amount of force. Her hand ran through his hair as she shushed him quietly, rocking him in small strokes until he felt calm enough to stop.

———-

His fingers hovered over the green button to start the call. It’d been hours since his mother left but her words played on repeat long after she had gone.

Maybe for once he needed to do something out of character. Maybe it would be enough for him to find his way back to himself or enough to start a new chapter without the overwhelming sense of fear. Or maybe this would all end in fire, but he’d been cold long enough to welcome the possibility of being burned.

Without another thought TOP pressed down on the button and placed the receiver to his ear. It took almost thirty seconds for Yang to answer his phone. The sharp sound of his curses being the first thing to greet TOP’s ear.

“Yah! Do you have any idea what time it is?” He croaked out, his voice still boiling from being woken up.

“I’ll do it,” was the only reply TOP gave in return before hanging up.

Once his thumb hit the button to end the call he flung it as far away from him as he could get it. Even though he’d made up his mind his heart felt burdened with worries he couldn’t suppress. Underneath all of that, however, was something TOP wouldn’t admit too even if his life depended on it.

Underneath all that negativity, he could feel it: the beginnings of hope blossoming in his chest. For the first time in a long time, TOP allowed himself to entertain it.
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Wanted to take the time to say thanks so much for reading this! If you dig it or have any comments, I’d love to hear them!!! And a big thanks to @lostamongstthecosmos​  for requesting TOP. I think it was the right choice!! -J

      below the read more lies 228 gif icons ( size 100 x 100 ) of the actual british puppy, alfred “alfie” enoch known for his roles in harry potter and how to get away with murder. i did not make any of these gifs but i did crop them and add a universal colouring on them so they should fit aesthetic purposes. there may be some repeats or very similar gifs cropped differently. please like or reblog if they’re useful!

if anyone sees their gifs here and would like me to add credit or remove them, please do not hesitate to contact me! i swear i don’t want to take credit for them at all! i just can not for the life of me remember where they’re from with having them saved on my laptop for so long.

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Exo Reactions To Them Catching You Looking On Their Phone

My friend Karnia just did this reaction too so make sure you check hers out as well /click here/ xo

/I do not own any gifs unless stated otherwise/

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Baekhyun: *walks in on you scrolling through his pictures & he just stands there staring at you like he’s judging you so hard for stealing his phone to snoop & smirking at you*

Chanyeol: *you never have a chance to look at his phone because he’s always using it or holding it & he treats it like it’s his child, never letting it out of his sight*

Chen: *purposely left his phone on the table to see if you would try to peek & then jumps out when you do, bragging about how he always knew you were nosy*

D.O.: *has a casual conversation with you while you look through his phone, not caring at all & even leaving you with it while he goes to make the two of you tea*

Kai: *he literally doesn’t care because food, even if he wasn’t distracted by eating, he wouldn’t care at all because he doesn’t have anything to hide from you*

Kris: *acts like he’s not bothered by it & he really wants to scold you but he knows that it would make you more suspicious so he just makes faces & stays quiet*

Lay: *the only thing that upsets him about it is that he thought he’d lost his phone but when he finds out you have it, he’s totally fine with you looking at it*

Luhan: *gets pissy & snatches his phone away from you, lecturing you about privacy & telling you to mind your own business but not saying why he doesn’t want you looking*

Sehun: *sucks on his teeth quietly as he watches you snoop through his pictures, annoyed that you didn’t ask first & not liking when people touch his stuff*

Suho: *laughs at you when he walks in to the living room & sees you casually looking through his phone, amused by the fact that you were trying so hard to be sneaky*

Tao: *smiles like he doesn’t have a problem with it & then grabs it from you & scowls, then goes into a rant about not being so nosy & demanding you not touch it again*

Xiumin: *literally does not give a fuck*

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