dib dipper

Hehe nerds.

joemerl  asked:

I'm sad for the lack of good "Invader Falls" stuff in the world. Please describe a meeting between Dib Membrane and the Pines family.

After his encounter with the security droid at the UFO landing site, Ford got worried about the unwary travelers or explorers who might potentially stumble into those ruins and find themselves bound for a distant star, never to return. So he set a careful series of traps which would capture intruders before they tripped the extraterrestrial alarm system, and he set up an alarm of his own which would alert him if any of the traps were sprung. One evening in the summer of 2013, while Ford, Stan and the kids were visiting the Mystery Shack, one of those alarms suddenly went off. Ford left before Stan had finished making dinner to investigate, was gone long enough that his great-niece and nephew began breathlessly to wonder if he’d found an alien, and returned hauling (by the collar) a long black jacket which contained a disappointing specimen; a pale, bespectacled kid no taller than Dipper, who looked (as Dipper would later write in his journal) as though he hailed from some alternate universe where the only retailer was Edgy On Purpose. He was out of breath and insisted that somebody named “ZIM” had gone ahead of him to raid the crash site for parts, which he would undoubtedly use in some nefarious scheme to take over the Earth. After much cajoling and repeated insistences that he was not himself an alien but an ordinary human with a genetic deformity, Ford got the kid to sit down, take a breather, and eat a pancake (the Pines family having mutually decided on Breakfast for Dinner).

The kid was nearly stunned into silence by the realization that these people not only believed, but took it for granted that there had once been aliens in Gravity Falls, and that they were entirely open to the possibility that his classmate “ZIM” (“That’s no human name!”) was not a human being but an invader from the distant planet Irk. Dipper in particular was eager to hear every detail of Dib’s case, and every item on his list of evidence, and every suspicious thing that ZIM had ever done and said (Mabel giggling about how adorable they were, these two nerds, and occasionally interpolating a relevant question such as whether ZIM had abs), so that it wasn’t until some time had passed that it came out that Dib himself was an extraterrestrial of sorts, having followed ZIM through a space-time portal which he had devised in order to access the landing site. Ford, it turned out, had known Professor Membrane personally at one time during the years he spent between dimensions and was very surprised to find that he had had a son (and a daughter, Dib hastened to add). He had had a great respect for the man’s intellect but had failed to comprehend his compartmentalization of paranormal science and “real science,” holding that all science was a part of the greater whole. At this point Dib had to remove his glasses to get something out of his eye.

They managed to get it out of Dib that ZIM had run away from the crash site, potentially in the direction of the town, but at this point Soos had already gotten in the car to drive Melody (his best employee) home to her apartment and Stan said they could go and look for little green men in the morning, the cops had been pretty free with the tasers since last summer’s Incident and he couldn’t afford a lawyer. Every cell of Dib’s obsessive intelligence was begging him to lodge a protest (“But what if he takes over during the night? If I go to sleep now I’ll leave the world vulnerable!”), but he was full of pancakes, and Stan had called him “kid” in a not-unkindly fashion, and the twins had offered to settle him down in their room, and something which he might have called “contentment” if he had ever felt such a thing before was settling imperceptibly into his bones. So he took the risk, and bedded down in a mountain of pillows which Mabel had assembled as a bed for Waddles but it was okay, Waddles could sleep with her tonight (“what is it with girls and pigs?” he asked Dipper, who didn’t know), and Dipper left the lantern on and they lay awake long after they should have gone to sleep, trading stories of gnome attacks and presidential conspiracies and seeing Bigfoot in the garage.