dianosis

anonymous asked:

Fenja- How exactly did you just stop purging and start recovery. I used bulimia as a coping mechanism from anorexia recovery and now that I'm weight restored, I just can't break the purge cycle. How did u stop purging and start living again?

It’s hard to give you a good answer to this since eating disorders are so different for everybody as well as the reasons behind our disorders but I can try to tell you about my individual experiences, maybe it helps a little.

I defenitely didn’t “just stop” purging, I have been in treatment for bulimia for the first time in 2012 - at that point I had full-blown extreme bulimia, I binged and purged up to a hundred times a day, I did nothing else all day for months. I can honestly tell you that I wouldn’t have been able to stop by myself, I was detemined to slowly kill myself and I didn’t want any help. I never would have stopped, bulimia was my drug, it made me high and careless. I ended up in hospital bc my heart beat was irregular and my brain swollen (Motivation to stop purging, you do not want this to happen!).

I spent  weeks in an inpatient unit cheating my way through BUT they forced me to eat and watched me after every meal and after three months I gained back a lot of weight and my brain was finally starting to work again and this is the important point:

  • EAT ENOUGH! I can not stress this enough, binge-purge cycle will only end if you eat enough bc even though many disorders start due to anxiety, stress, pressure, etc. - what really sends us into the binge-purge cycle is HUNGER. Your body is starved if you purge and starving makes you loose all control, your body overpowers you and you binge and then the guilt or the pure physical discomfort hits you and you purge. Therefore your body is still hungry and the cycle starts again. Therefore my most important advice: eat at least three meals and snacks spreadout throughout the day and eat 2,500+ calories every single day, no exceptions. I personally need to eat 3000 calories at least otherwise I get hungry and tend to eat and purge. It is hard and you will have to simply fight through every meal for some time but believe me, 90% of all binge and purge urges go away by proper and enough eating!

After some time I discharged myself and relapsed big time, went inpatient again, got even worse, discharged myself again and realized: This is MY FIGHT! They did all they could to help me, I was not underweight anymore, my body wasn’t starved anmyore, they thought me what and how much and when and how to eat - now it was on me, only I could save myself, it was and still is MY RESPONSIBILITY! This is where I started fighting for real, I still binged und purged but now it was due to emotional reasons, due to stress, bingeing numbed me, let me forget my anxiety and ease my tension. I had to find other ways to distract me from anxiety and urges, other ways to calm my racing thoughts, healthy coping mechanisms. Things that are generally helpful to avoid bingeing and also purging:

  • call somebody and talk to distract yourself
  • draw or paint, I spent hours filling in mandalas
  • knit or puzzle or fill out cross words
  • short!!! walks to clear your head
  • watch tv series or movies or read an exciting book
  • paint your fingernails, did wonders for me
  • write down your thoughts and feelings and urges
  • make lists why you shouldn’t b/p or what happens if you do

I don’t binge anymore, I’ve had one or two incidents in 2013, I haven’t binged for half a year. I learned to resist the urge with those techniques and therapy taught me why I emotionally felt the need to b/p and I’ve learned to talk about feelings and fears instead of numbing them.

Currently only purging is left of bulimia, my dianosis changed to anorexia purge-type in 2013 since I have no binges anymore. I am fully commited to recovery, I work hard to eat 2,500+ calories a day and not purge, I can share some strategies with you that help me to avoid purging:

  • eating enough once again bc if I don’t I get very hungry, I eat fast when I do and then I feel stuffed and that triggers me, therefore I try to eat regularly and enough so that won’t happen
  • I drink tea with my meals because it relaxes my stomach and it relaxes me as well, I feel less anxious after eating
  • I use all the strategies above to distract myself from purging, you have to force yourself to really really give them a go, they might now work the first time but if you really try and also find your own distractions, they will!
  • If I feel very full and bloated - cozy clothing, snuggle up in bed, hot water bottle and more tea, taking a bath, whatever helps me relax until the feeling passes (it always will!!!)
  • If I am having a really hard time I avoid being alone after eating or I tell somebody to distract me. I tell my boyfriend and he watches me for an hour, if I need to use the bathroom he talks through the door with me, etc.
  • I once again make list why recovery is worth it, why I must not purge, why I am a great person and don’t need this, etc. and I re-read them when I feel triggered!

Last but not least: IT IS IN YOUR HANDS!!!!!! YOU decide whether you stick your head down the toilet, YOU can stop yourself, YOU can ask for help, YOU have to save yourself. Once you realize that YOU CAN STOP YOURSELF, it doesn’t seem impossible anymore. You can do this.

I simply decided I didn’t want to die with my head down the toilet and vomit in my face and therefore I decided to stop and start trying recovery for real and so I did. It’s as easy and as true as that.

Wishing you the best ♥

 - Fenja

Theory - WREN is A.

I know it’s nothing new to suspect Wren. I wrote an earlier post about him with all the basic information that you see in every Wren is A theory. But I’ve found I think the biggest clue of all, and I’ve never seen it mentioned.

So there’s dear ol’ Wren right in the middle of the crime scene investigation board. I know it’s been pointed out before that they wrote “Dr.” Kingston. I’ve started to question if he is in fact a doctor, but trained as a dentist. Dentists are considered doctors, but generally people make fun of the idea and say they aren’t.

One of the scariest things I’ve ever seen “A” do is put that note in Hanna’s teeth. I mean, that was incredibly creepy and insane. Wouldn’t a dentist know how to do that?

My biggest reason for suspect Wren is this: Jason once told Spencer that he always felt like Ian was doing the videos for someone else. Take a look at that photo again. See how Wren is right next to Ian? Wren is right in the middle of everything that started the core investigation. There’s Spencer, Ian, the shovel, and Melissa over there on the side with her little post it stating “medical records.” Yeah, medical records that a “doctor” could’ve altered.

What I believe is most important is that everyone on this board has lines connecting them to other people and documents. Wren has ZERO ZERO ZERO lines making any kind of connection, yet he’s put right in the center of it all. The police must know he’s connected somehow, but haven’t been able to connect him to anything directly, just like we haven’t been able to do so.

Other Suspicions:

  • Wren used to smoke cigarettes. Sometimes people replace that habit with eating hard candy. We’ve seen “A” get hard candy multiple times. (there were clues to Mona back in s1 and s2 b/c she chewed gum often and that’s how Spencer figured her out)

  • A called the police about the whereabouts of CeCe staying at the hotel. There was hard candy there.

  • Wren also made a call to an unknown person about Veronica Hastings speaking with Mona which got Veronica off the case.

  • Wren spelled “diagnosis” incorrectly as “dianosis.” A spelled “nosy” incorrectly as “nosey.”

  • In 5.05, “A” is welcomed back as if they’d been gone a while… Wren has supposedly been in London. So Toby goes to London to speak with Melissa and finds Wren. Now Toby’s house is exploding on the same night A is welcomed home AND Bethany Young is announced as the girl in the grave. Is it possible Wren’s connection is to Bethany Young and we’ll be finding out about that soon?

  • Wren helped Melissa when Ian was missing… and dead. Mona claims she didn’t have anything to do with the Ian stuff nor did she know who did it. It may have been Wren.

  • All the other clues I have are ones I’ve seen everywhere else. Like Wren’s OCD and A’s OCD. Wren’s father having a mental illness. Wren coloring the red coat and the drawing having the same style as what we saw in the cabin that belonged to Ezra’s “friend.” Wren making a phone call to someone to fulfill their end of the bargain. Mona (who was A) questioning where his loyalties lie.

  • My favorite A text was: “Mona played with dolls, I play with body parts.”
    To which I say: Yeah, Wren, b/c you’re a creepy weirdo posing as a doctor in pretty much every single incident when someone needed a doctor or a mental eval. And you started working at Radley when Mona was there. You’re a doctor who can review broken body parts, shoulder injuries, tend to Toby, not report Emily’s HGH incident, sew up Hanna’s leg when she stabbed herself, working at Radley when you were at a hospital. You’re probably the gynecologist Alison knew.

That’s all I have for now. He’s at the top of my list.

ÜBER THEORY

Before I start with a theory PLEASE DO NOT COPY OR STEAL anything ,if you need it for your theory credit me.

In 6x20 we found out about Mary Drake,Jessica’s twin sister and Charlotte’s biological mother.Mary is working with a person we know as Elliot Rollins,doctor who loved Charlotte ,and know is messing with her cousin Alison.Mary had Charlotte in Radley,but we know nothing about her past.I think that a year before she ended up there,she had a son,that was later adopted(after Mary ended up in Radley) by a british family Kingston.Their father could be Scott Montgomery,assumed he had mental illness as well,but I am not quite sure.I think it would be far too complicated,but however I think he was talking about his biological father in this scene.

Marlene(or Huw i cant remember) said in an interview that we know Huw’s character as dr,Rollins which means that is probably his fake name.Mary didn’t say “Elliot” in 6B finale,so I thik we can be 100%sure that it isnt real.

I believe he is Wren’s adoptive brother aka that year or so later Kingston family had a son.Wren learnt about his past and wanted revenge for his family.He  wanted to protect his sister from Jessica.He found out about Dilaurentis’s connection to Hastings family and got close to Melissa and later Spencer.Wren and CeCe had a deal to continue what Mona started,they just wanted to revenge for lost years.For not spending childhood with their mother and so on.Meanwhile,Elliot fell in love with her,and the rest we know.

Wren probably reached to Mona,but she realized he is connected to Cece somehow.

Wren after this scene says something about her changing her meds,but I dont think he was referring to that. In 6x10 Mona said that she hit Bethany.Wren broke up with Melissa after Cece told him that she burried her.If he really loved her,I dont think he would do smth like this.We still haven’t seen Bethany’s face.While visiting his sister and mother  it is possible he met Bethany and maybe fell in love with her? It would explain these things.

Later we see Wren talking to someone on the phone after Hanna asking him to help catch Cece on the tape ,but he doesnt want to get involved. I think that someone is Charlotte aka CeCe.

What a nice picture.Famiy on the farm.Two kids.Boy and girl.Wren painting mother’s coat in red.This didnt even have to happen.Maybe its just something he and Charlotte wanted.A happy family,

I am sure he is talking to Rollins in this scene,it just seems it’s his close friend which his adoptive brother is.

We can’t forget about this scene.Wren always seemed like a nice doctor whose only secret was smoking.Well bullshit.

Just think about everything.Wren giving Cece a pass in Radley ,über A revenging her death,Wren being mentioned after two seasons,after he acted weird af.

P.S. Remember DIANOSIS?I thought it could be an anagram for AD something but I couldnt figure it out,so if you do let me know. but  i dont think it means anything

Thank you for taking your time reading this,I will post more soon bc this was first I think of.I dont care if I didnt point more scenes,there is enough time till new season and more theories.

@wrenischarles @pllonfreeform

WREN IS ÜBER A.

Oh my god what if..

Charles really is dead and A’s motive for everything but not because of his death but because he killed Marion Cavanaugh?

Maybe what A really wants is revenge for the death of two people - Marion and Bethany.

First clue: Pretty much everyone who supposedly had something to do with making Marion’s death look like an accident is now dead themselves:

Wilden (who was said to have forged the police report of Marion’s death):

Also there was this pig placed in his trunk. We know A likes to insult people by using pig motives.

Then of course the one who has been on the board of Radley and must’ve known the truth (and initiated faking everything in order to protect Charles as her son):

The soul room in the dollhouse was there to prove Charles’ existence and was meant to be discovered just like the blocks spelling out Charles so the truth’d be revealed now that the “guilty” people were all gone. Also who knows if Charles really killed himself - maybe A also did that.

That’d explain these two deaths. But why target the liars? It might be because they had something to do with Bethany’s death that night. At least A seemed very eager to remind Spencer of something (I don’t think A made her hurt somebody in the dollhouse, I rather think this was to cause some kind of “flashbacks” in her brain to something she already did):

But the other ones might have been involved as well..

Well but A killed even more people than Jessica and Wilden - why?

Well apart from Maya the rest was all NAT members. NAT -  Nos Animadverto Totus. They see all. So they probably saw at least one of the incidents (more likely Bethany’s death on “that night” because this happened right in Rosewood and not on a rooftop of a mental institution and because Jason really doesn’t seem to know about Charles) - but they didn’t do anything. They did nothing to have the killers of A’s beloved one punished although they could have - this is why A was extremely mad at them. Not because they knew a secret and A was afraid they wouldn’t keep it but rather because they kept it.

For Maya I see two possibilities: she was either really killed by Nate/Lyndon or for the same reason as the NAT Club - Maya knew (as we know from the famous anagram of “Miss Aria You’re A Killer Not Ezra’s Wife”).


(Some) possible suspects:

1) Toby

Look at this picture (although the #CharlesIsA doesn’t fit here of course but it was what they wanted us to definitley think back then) and the oddly captionized T right after “this is..”.. I think Toby is the only one one the show whose name starts with a “T”.

He obviously has a motive here, Marion was his mother. And who’s to say the time she died was her first time in Radley? She might have had depressive episodes before and been there. Toby visited her there and that’s how he met Bethany and got close to her.. and later he lost both of them.

(For more clues you can also read an earlier theory about him if you like: http://prettylittlecandylie.tumblr.com/post/120138650975/mini-theory-toby-clues)

2) Aria

Or at least some version of Aria - hear me out. We all know Pigtunia right?

Two things about Pigtunia here: she’s a pig and a handpuppet. A pig fits perfectly into A’s passion for insulting people by using pigs as mentioned above. But more importantly: a handpuppet is as long as it’s there part of the person, speaks like the person.. just like a second personality. There have been multiple hints Aria may have this personality disorder throughout the show (also see http://prettylittlecandylie.tumblr.com/post/120382014305/miss-aria-you-are-a-killer if you’d like to read more about those clues. Sorry for that solution but I’m trying to keep my theories shorter so they’re more fun to read but with option of more details.)

Now maybe she was in Radley because of this some time (or some more times). There she met Bethany and Marion (or at least witnessed her death) - or let’s say her second personality did. Aria herself may really be clueless (Haha - if this is true, Ali hit the nail right on the head for calling Aria “Suzy Clueless” in her diary. Although that story really was about Byron’s affair)

Of course Aria was locked in the dollhouse herself - doesn’t mean the other personality couldn’t have had someone working for her and executing all of the plans for that time. Or in general.

3) Wren

It’s obvious how he could’ve met Marion and Bethany, he has had a lot to do with Radley. Although this might not have been as a doctor from the start.. especially because he is propbably only faking being a doctor anyways.

Just take a look at “Dr.” Kingston on the police board and his “dianosis” of Mona’s disease.

Question is, why would he fake being a doctor in Rosewood?? Seeking revenge for two killed co-patients and possibly friends would be a good motive I believe. Maybe he knew no one would recognize him because Dr. Palmer for example now has dementia and for the remaining rest - like Eddie lamb - he found a way to keep them quiet (Eddie still kept some secrets before he.. vanished).

Even if Wren isn’t A, he definitely was or is involved. No one can be that shady and be innocent.

And I still haven’t forgotten about the whole “doctor” situation and his inability to spell a common medical word. Was the word diagnosis and he spelled it dianosis or something? That’s definitely not a set error. He’s probably not even a real doctor. Wouldn’t shock me at this point.